What Happened to Harry Potter

[Modal Seoul]

Okay, I am probably going to make so many fans mad by creating this, but who cares? I think this is hilarious.

Before the garbage dumpster that was Harry Potter and the Cursed Child was released, I made some paragraphs detailing what might've happened to several Harry Potter characters following Deathly Hallows. I found these recently, and now I'm transcribing them here. I am not sorry for any rage you may feel. And to clear some thing up,

THE WAR OF GIANTS:

The War of Giants is an event that I created. I always wondered what had happened to the giants that aided Voldemort, so I made a battle where they return to besiege Hogwarts some years later, during James Potter's first year. Many key characters are involved in this battle, and this will be mentioned several times in the following bios. (Note: I am not including all bios in this post. I'll add more later.)

Harry Potter:

Spoiler

Harry became even more famous following his defeat of Voldemort. However, he didn't let the fame go to his head. Harry passed his N.E.W.T.'s and worked to become an Auror. Five years after the Battle of Hogwarts, he married Ginny Weasley. They had three children together, James, Albus and Lily. Harry soon became an Auror and worked for the Ministry. Impressed with his leadership during the War of Giants, Kingsley Shacklebolt appointed him the Head of the Auror Department, a position that Harry held for forty years. After retirement, Harry lived in 12 Grimmauld Place, and finally succeeded in removing Mrs. Black's portrait. He became a part-time gnome exterminator. Following Ginny's death, Harry lived with his daughter Lily. Nearing the end of his life at the age of 112, Harry returned to Hogwarts, and walked through the Forbidden Forest. He stumbled upon the Resurrection Stone, and greeted his parents and friends as he died.

Ron Weasley:

Spoiler

Ron did not become as famous as Harry or Hermione, but continued to be the happy man. He married Hermione Granger six years after the Battle of Hogwarts. They had two children, Rose and Hugo. However, soon after Rose started school, their relationship became tense, and Hermione filed a divorce. Ron took custody of Hugo, but Rose worked through the problem and lived with both of her parents. After Hugo's turn to Dark Magic, Ron lost his job. Ernie Prang, the conductor of the Knight Bus, took pity on him and gave him a job. Ron was driver of the Knight Bus for some years, until one day, Hermione boarded. They reconciled, and got back together. They lived happily in the Burrow for the rest of his days.

Hermione Granger:

Spoiler

Hermione labored, passing her N.E.W.T.'s with flying colors. She made revolutionary magical discoveries in the fields of Arithmancy, Ancient Runes and Transfiguration. She married Ron, and raised her children. She filed the divorce, claiming he was becoming impossible. She then married Viktor Krum. This marriage lasted for eight years, until Krum was tragically killed in a Quidditch accident. (The Bludger went up his nose.) Hermione then became Professor of Arithmancy at Hogwarts. She then settled her differences, and reconciled with Ron after Hugo's death. She continued to serve as Professor of Arithmancy, and then served as Headmistress. Ron passed away, and she retired. Hermione then succeeded in giving house elves rights (using S.P.E.W. of course) and passed away four years after Ron.

Ginny Weasley:

Spoiler

Ginny married Harry, and raised her children. She continued to support her husband in all his actions. Even when he was gone, she pulled through. Ginny fought in the War of Giants, and oversaw the retaking of Hogsmeade. She passed away at the age of 96.

Luna Lovegood:

Spoiler

Luna left school early, to take care of her father. After he died, she moved to Sweden for some years, to fulfill his dying wish of finding a Crumple-Horned Snorkack. While she never did, she recorded it and published it in the Quibbler, taking over as editor. Shortly after fighting the War of Giants, she accepted a marriage proposal from Neville Longbottom. Together, they grew dirigible plums, and proved them to be reliable means of transportation.

Neville Longbottom:

Spoiler

Neville became one of Gryffindor's finest. He continued to work in the field of Herbology, making important discoveries all over the world. He became Professor of Herbology and Head of Gryffindor House shortly before the War of Giants. He led his House into battle. He married Luna Lovegood, and made a revolutionary invention in the form of the dirigible plum. He became Headmaster later in life, then retired.

Draco Malfoy:

Spoiler

Draco's family was disgraced long after the Battle of Hogwarts, but he gained some respect after leading the first charge during the War of Giants. Draco sought to reforge bonds after the War, becoming friends with old rivals, including Harry and Ron. He never fully forgave his actions against Muggle-borns however. Draco later became Head of the Department of International Magical Cooperation. He became well respected in many areas of the world. He redefined his family name and died peacefully, having restored honor.

Dudley Dursley:

Spoiler

Dudley and Harry did not cross paths until nearly ten years after the Battle of Hogwarts. Dudley gained an amount of respect for the Wizarding community, and reforged a cousin bond with Harry. He later moved to Canada, and became a world-famous boxer, and developed an addiction to crack. After his boxing days, Dudley became a motorcyclist, creating a biker gang. He died at the age of 67, from a stroke.

More bios later.

[Toaster Retribution]

These were very entertaining! I don't like everything (Ron & Hermione) but that is to be expected. You have done some really fun stuff though, especially with Harry and Draco. I'm hoping for more!

[Aon Ati]

I like this. I hope you will be explaining why Hugo turned to the dark arts. Other then that, I think these were all really well done.

[Vissy]

I don't really know what happened to the series itself, but this made me look up J.K. Rowling again and TIL that she is a transphobe and a TERF 

I like those alternate endings for the characters, though Hermione's probably could've used some more background ("revolutionary discoveries", such as what, and how did they affect the Wizarding World?) and a lot of the events described in many of the alternate endings sound like they could warrant stories of their own! It's interesting certainly. I don't like Ron just being useless until the end of time though. And I definitely don't see Harry just twiddling his thumbs if he's the Head Auror and doing nothing proactive in a job like this, I feel like he'd go out of his way to hunt down dark wizardry. 

I certainly agree in that the new HP stories probably fall victim to the protagonist syndrome... good supporting characters just kind of fall off the map. 

Edited April 3, 2018 by Vissy

[Toaster Retribution]

@Vissy What makes JK a transphobe? And I don't even know what a TERF is... 

[Iarwainiel I]

This is really fun - thanks for sharing! (BTW, that was a lot of typing! )

Re: Dudley Dursley - I'd like to suggest a cool idea that a friend of mine had: What if, in the final scene of DH2 there are Platform 9 3/4, we had not only Harry & Ginny, Ron & Hermione, Draco & his wife, but also Dudley and his wife and child - his child who had inherited magic abilities (Petunia is Lily's sister, after all) and who was going to attend Hogwart's. Can you imagine how scared and awkward and everything else Dudley would feel in that situation? It would have been priceless ... and it would serve Vernon & Petunia right to have a grandchild who was a witch or wizard! Have to remodel their fireplace, they would!

I love the OP's speculation too - - both ideas are fun to imagine!

[Totally_Not_A_Worldhopper]

I love these ideas, especially Draco's, and how Neville & Luna get married! However, I do also like the idea of Dudley having a magic child, learning more about the wizarding world and eventually becoming friends with Harry through their children (who would attend Hogwarts together).

[Gray to]

These stories are great! I love the idea of Neville and Luna working together (though I dont personally ship them)

This is one I saw on Instagram a while back

Harry: Harry transforms Grimmauld Place into an orphanage magical kids, especially those from abused families, so that no one would have to suffer what he and Sirius suffered.

Edit: And he becomes the Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher instead of an Auror.

Edited July 12, 2018 by Gray to

[Totally_Not_A_Worldhopper]

58 minutes ago, Gray to said:

Harry: Harry transforms Grimmauld Place into an orphanage magical kids, especially those from abused families, so that no one would have to suffer what he and Sirius suffered.

Edit: And he becomes the Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher instead of an Auror.

Hey! I saw something like this too. Harry would have definitely made a great DADA teacher.

[Wyndlerunner]

I personally really like these ideas. Done better than JK you have!