Aon Ati

Rules for Surviving a Fantasy World

233 posts in this topic

Posted (edited)

333. Nothing is a coincidence. Ever.

Edited by Emperor Stick
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20 minutes ago, Emperor Stick said:

333. Nothing is a coincidence. Ever.

Not even the numbers of rules.

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Indeed.

And neither is this secret message.

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10 hours ago, Emperor Stick said:

Indeed.

And neither is this secret message.

Or is it?

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334. If your dying parent gives you an object on their death bead, always keep it with you, no matter how ordinary it looks.

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Corollary to 334: Unless they were crazy.

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334-B. Or evil

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335: When somebody confides in you about world changing plans that they are carrying out in secret go to the authorities immediately.

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13 minutes ago, Nathrangking said:

335: When somebody confides in you about world changing plans that they are carrying out in secret go to the authorities immediately.

335a: though there is at least a 40% chance the authorities are already in on it, and another 30% that they won't believe you without exceptional evidence

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335b: additionally there is a 10% chance that the law enforcement are the ones carrying out the plans, in which case you must take matters into your own hands.

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336: Don't have children- they will likely die in some unfortunate manner or cause you to die slowly and painfully. Leave kids to people in other places, where their story is already over. They don't ever doing anything for years, until the sequel.

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336b.

Have tons of children so there will be sequels and you will more likely survive.

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337: If your companion nobly dashes into a dangerous situation and entrusts an important and/or personal article to you, that companion will perish shortly (but at least nobly).

338: If you hear a twig randomly cracking in the forest behind you, RUN. It is never "just an animal".

339: If you are traveling and have long hair, cut it. Too often it gets caught on a branch or someone grabs it while you're trying to escape.

 

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Posted (edited)

338a: Except for when you're in a horror story. Then it often is.

Edited by AonEne
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Posted (edited)

339. If you see a guy in a creepy mask, don’t stop to do a double take, just get the heck out of dodge.

Edited by Bartimaeus
Put 400 instead of 339
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We're...not to 400 yet.

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yes but that one is so important it immediately jumps to #400

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Of course, its not like I misread 338 as 399. /s

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340. If someone offers you a beverage, whether they be your butler, innkeeper, sibling, parent, or anyone else, do not drink it. You may pretend to drink it, but under no circumstances should you actually swallow anything. Chances are that they are either being mind controlled or are secretly evil and are trying to poison you.

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341. Bring a crossbow. Crossbows are always effective in a fantasy world.

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Posted (edited)

341a. Bring the biggest crossbow you have. Now bring another one double its size.

Edited by Truthless of Shinovar
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341b. Also bring extra bolts. You wouldn’t believe how many times people run out of bolts at key moments.

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Posted (edited)

341c. Or must bring extra crossbows. This seems to work for Kelsier Ferrin.

 

342. Go ahead and attack some fellow who is wearing full plate armor while using a smallsword; He loses the fight almost every time so long as he is an unamed enemy soldier. WARNING: This tactic only works if you are important to the plot. RfSaFW and Co. take no responibility for serious injury or death sustained while not important to the plot. You may still be in danger if: A. You make a good martyr. B. You would make a good motivational death scene for the main character. C. You have already served your purpose and are now pointless.                                                                                        

 

 

Edited by ElendVenture
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21 hours ago, ElendVenture said:

Ferrin.

Or Jasher. On that subject

343. Bring large explosives, but under no circumstances climb a roof with them. Or throw them at intelligent creatures that can catch.

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344. Never relax in a perceived utopia or trust anyone living in one. Fantasy utopias are always upheld by some form of corruption or evil in the people and/or the government; such as killing the undesirables, promoting one group of people and leaving the others in poverty, or hiding the outside world from the public and willing to silence anyone who brings worrying news. The best course of action to take is to find a group of people who are rebelling against this society, cautiously join them, as they may also be corrupt in some fashion, and gather as much information as possible. Once you have the information, get out of the utopia, either through extremely stealthy means or causing a rebellion to occur. What ever is required, get out and run for the hills.

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