Jump to content

Rules for Surviving a Fantasy World


Aon Ati

Recommended Posts

  • 4 weeks later...

Continuing from 263.

264. If you are a dock worker/mover and you or somebody else notices a container which appears to open from the inside, leave immediately and get as far away from the area as possible. It is almost always a vampire.

265. In the event you come across an abandoned vehicle, whether it be a boat/car/truck, don't go to inspect it. Turn around immediately and forget you ever saw anything.

266. No matter where you are, no matter how safe you feel, always look behind you.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

267. If someone dares you to go into the supposedly haunted/ cursed house that no one ever returns from just don't!!

268. If you are recruited to go on a quest to find a magic item which will free a benevolent power don't believe those recruiting you!! Run away!!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

271. never back away from anything for any reason.

272. Avoid getting drunk in taverns. You will inevitably share too much about your quest too loudly and it will lead your enemies to catching up to you.

273. If you are the villain, never turn yourself into a giant anything. You think it's gonna be all cool and terrifying, but it just looks weird and it somehow makes you easier to defeat.

Edited by Singer
Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 4 weeks later...

280. If a magic sword/object shows you visions, or you hear voices calling you to use it, it is generally a good idea to avoid said magic object.

281. If you happen to find yourself in the middle of a large battle and some loved one is with you, kiss them. 9/10 times, this will make every enemy ignore you, and any hazards will miss. These effects will continue for at least 1 minute, or until the kiss ends.

282. Bad things happen on boats. Don't go on boats. Land travel is always preferable.

283. In the event you are forced to use a boat, choose one with a grumpy (potentially old) captain. They will likely know some safe passage or important folklore that could save your life.

284. Avoid planes. See Rule 282.

285. Always be kind to beggars.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 2 weeks later...

286. If you disobey any of these rules and all hope seems lost, do not fret, just keep doing what you're doing and 8/10 times you'll be saved by the almighty powers of either Deus Ex Machina or Plot Armor

Edited by Inky
Link to comment
Share on other sites

On 1/11/2019 at 0:05 PM, Inky said:

286. If you disobey any of these rules and all hope seems lost, do not fret, just keep doing what you're doing and 8/10 times you'll be saved by the almighty powers of either Deus Ex Machina or Plot Armor

287. Please keep in mind this is only true if you are a good guy in a children's book (I use "children's" loosely) or if you are the main character in a story that isn't horror.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 3 weeks later...

288. If you know of someone who has ignored rule 267 and didn't return, by all means enter the same house they did. You'll instantly become the protagonist and with that, unkillable. Then you will proceed to solve the mistery about the house and the previous person's death.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 1 month later...

293. In the event you are in charge of a fleet of spaceships or similar technology and you are approached by a single ship, order all ships to fire on the ship immediately. If it is not instantly destroyed, order everyone to retreat as fast as possible. The ship is either a trap or piloted by some ace pilot who can miraculously take you all out.

294. Instruct any companions/family members to run away if they see you fighting someone. This will help lower the odds of your enemy throwing an attack at them, forcing you to sacrifice yourself in a dramatic fashion.

295. Make sure your companions/family members know how to dodge, and make sure that they will do so in the event they ignore Rule 294. Stress the advantages of dodging instead of just standing there gaping as an attack heads towards you.

296. In the event your companions/family members are incredibly stupid and ignore your instructions from Rule 294 and 295, don't try to shield them from the attack. Tackle them out of the way instead. You will almost always have enough time to get both of you clear of the attack, so the emotional sacrifice really isn't necessary.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

297. It is always a bad idea to systematically opress people - opression tends to result in heroes.

298. it is especially always a bad idea to systematically opress peopel who are genetically prone to supernatural powers

299. crazy, old hermits make the best teachers/mentors

Link to comment
Share on other sites

300. Read this list.

301. If you ignore the previous rule, just...try not to antagonize the important people on any side of the conflict. Don't think there's a conflict? You're wrong; there's always a conflict, usually more than one.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

Loading...
  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.
×
×
  • Create New...