Aon Ati

Rules for Surviving a Fantasy World

483 posts in this topic

516: If it's misty/rainy, something bad will happen.

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516b. If it's sunny, and someone says "On a day like that, it feels like nothing bad can happen",... something bad will happen. Something really, really bad will happen. 

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517. Never make a remark about how good something is.

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519. Curses from a random minor character that is either dying or has been defeated have a 99% success rate.

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520. DO NOT! TEMPT! MURPHY'S LAW!

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523. If anyone brings up something seemingly irrelevant but helpful in the middle of the adventure, IT WILL SAVE YOUR LIFE.

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524. A body must be burned to ash, maimed, completely destroyed, decapitated, or stabbed repeatedly before it is actually dead. When you see someone seemingly without a pulse, they are still alive.

525. Unless you see someone VERY CLEARLY die VERY OBVIOUSLY, they are STILL ALIVE.

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556. Watch out for retcons. Liked going to the bathroom? Just magic it away. Remember that good friend of yours? Now she's black. Did you shoot first? Not anymore. 

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527. When an unfathomably powerful entity offers you godlike power in exchange for a few simple favors, it's a scam.

Edited by NerdyAarakocra
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On 10/25/2022 at 5:00 PM, SymphonianBookworm said:

525. Unless you see someone VERY CLEARLY die VERY OBVIOUSLY, they are STILL ALIVE.

525a: This is doubly true if they fell off a cliff/are in a burning building.

525b: If a character remarks that “there is no way they could have survived”, then the character who “died” has a 100% chance to come back in a dramatic scene.

528: If somebody (specifically the possible love interest, childhood best friend, new guide, or some other side character that could have a dramatic reveal) is acting oddly, they are likely one or more of these things:

1. possessed by the evil force (even if there is no prior indication that the evil force can possess anybody. This does not matter. See #6)

2. a spy/traitor (if you catch them in the act and their explanation of why they’ve been spying doesn’t add up, they are possessed by the evil force as well. This is especially true if, when you go through their bag, they are in possession of some strange device or artifact that even the mentor character does not recognize. Alternatively, if they claim to not recognize the device, then they are either lying, framed by somebody else, or there was no spy except for the unknowing main character/person who accused them. In any case, assume #6 is true.)

3. an evil twin/clone/imitation of the actual person in some way (especially if there is mentions of them acting odd on different days. The main character will not question this at all until it’s too late to stop the dramatic reveal and classic “what did you do with the real <insert character>?!” scene. If it is some clone or artificial life, know that it does not matter if there has been no mention of technology or magic capable of doing something like this. The Big Bad has their ways. See #6.)

4. secretly sick/wounded (this will be revealed in a dramatic way. If their symptoms are odd, they may be possessed by the evil force as well. It does not matter if they are dying. The main character will not know this until it is revealed. See #6.)

5. a total red herring to throw off the readers (but if this is true then one of these things will happen: another character with no signs will be the traitor, the main character will not trust the red herring to their own detriment, or the red herring will become one of the above later on, making the red herring event a red herring. It doesn’t matter if this doesn’t make sense. See #6.)

6. something totally random to shock the readers (this may apply to any of the above reasons or more. Cue “it’s a twist!!”)

529: If a mentor character dies very obviously in an emotional scene, there is a 14.57% chance that they will have a secret twin that is the actual mentor/that they’ve been switching out with.

Edited by rosharian_cat
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530. If someone is introduced in the beginning and hangs around in the background for the entire plot, they're the villain. Attack them and give no quarter.

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576. BRING DUCT TAPE WITH YOU EVERYWHERE. ITS BETTER THAN ALL THE MAGICAL GADGETS YOU’LL FIND. 

577. Every character met at the beginning is almost always irrelevant, very few of them will still be around by the end of the book, let alone the series. 

578. DO NOT I REPEAT DO NOT GO TO FESTIVALS OR PARTIES THEY NEVER GO WELL. 

579. If it’s Halloween, lock yourself in the bathroom and never come out. 

580. Please, don’t accept food, no matter how delicious, no matter how hungry you are, from strangers! Especially if they’re unnaturally gorgeous women. 

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ok i guess we skipped 531-575.

581(!). If you can, learn the magic. Regardless of if you can actually use it or not. Pull a Bastille. Get educated.

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581(?). But don’t get too good at it, or you’ll be asked to join the quest. If you’re too good, you’ll be in a lot more danger. 

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531(.). In reference to the future rules 580 and 581, if you do get good at the magic, don't teach anyone else. Or else the villain that you train will kill you as you are the only one who can rival them (until the chosen one arrives), or you will die for some other reason for *plot*.

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582. The rules 532 - 575 have been lost to time. As such, they contain mythical information that legend says will allow you to defeat the villain, gain ultimate power, etc. In a similar situation, all of the legendary stuff will either be:

A. Destroyed

B: Stolen right as you were about to get it

C: A cryptic hint that you'll only get at the end of the plotline.

Keep this in mind when hunting for lost fragments of text.

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583. If you're in a library, scriptorium, or anything, look for information on creation mythos. How your world was created, instances soon after, anything. It'll come in handy. Trust me.

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584. If you’re supposed to meet someone or wait somewhere for them and they don’t get there on time, DO NOT WAIT. They’re either dead or captured and waiting will put you in a similar situation!

585. If the magic/color scheme being used by the person in charge is dark red or purple, they are evil. You should leave. 

Edited by AesSedai318
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586. If a potion is green, it’s poison. You don’t need to ask any questions or run any tests. It’s always poison.

587. If somebody says “If all goes well…” something crucial will go terribly wrong.

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588. If the person who’s clearly the main character makes a plan with a lot of if’s and maybe’s, it’ll work. Things will change, but it’ll work. Probably. 

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589. However, something will always go wrong.

590. Pay attention to children's stories. They're either true or they're relevant to something that will happen later.

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591. Along with the children's stories, all the legends are true. All the monsters, all the magic, all the legends of crazy things? They're real, and you're gonna meet them. 

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