Jump to content

Rules for Surviving a Fantasy World


Aon Ati

Recommended Posts

424.  If you're adopted, and your parent(s) say they found you abandoned, you were probably forcefully taken from your birth parent(s) and are living with the villain of the story.

425.  Unless you want to be the villain, tell your children they're adopted so it can't be used as a plot twist.  And don't steal babies.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

427a. If you hear a noise in the woods, do not go towards it.

427b. If you happen to ignore rule 427a, make sure you charge the noise as quickly as possible to surprise whatever is hiding there.

427c. Rule 427b is void if the noise is a loved one's voice.

Edited by Ghanderflaffle
I know the first one was done before, but I wanted to do the other 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 1 month later...
  • 2 months later...
3 hours ago, Ookla the Bored said:

431- Old guys with beards are always right and will always die by the end of the book/series so don't get to attached to them.

Caveat: except when this conflicts with Clarke's First law: "When a distinguished but elderly scientist states that something is possible, he is almost certainly right. When he states that something is impossible, he is very probably wrong."

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 3 months later...

432. When you notice the signals that a story is happening, make sure you have good hygiene. Otherwise the universe will make sure you become a low rank bad guy. Good hygiene won't guarantee you a spot with the good guys, but it will prevent an unexpected catastrophe from occurring in your life as motivation. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 1 month later...

433. Pay attention to anyone who tells you their name, as they're probably important enough to the plot not to die immediately. Alternately, if you are not the Hero, make sure that they know your name, as it greatly reduces your chances of dying in the first conflict that comes along. 

Spoiler

This rule probably already exists, as it is one of the most common fantasy tropes in existence, but if not, it certainly belongs here.

 

 

 

Edited by Elend Venture
Link to comment
Share on other sites

On 12/28/2018 at 9:51 PM, Faceless Mist-Wraith said:

280. If a magic sword/object shows you visions, or you hear voices calling you to use it, it is generally a good idea to avoid said magic object.

434. If a magic sword/object talks to you, get rid of it as soon as possible. Chances are it will try or succeed at taking control of you.

On 9/6/2019 at 5:18 PM, Karger said:

354. Don't believe anything or expect consistency with anyone anywhere.

Especially me.

On 11/4/2019 at 7:42 PM, Nameless said:

360a. If you find yourself walking in the woods alone at night, and feel like you're being followed by someone, (or something) start humming or whistling a jaunty tune, and don't falter.

"Oh I'm down in the bottom of a well..."

On 3/10/2020 at 1:16 AM, Silverblade5 said:

381. Never, under any circumstances, split the party. It can only go poorly.

381 Amendment: Be very careful about splitting the party. It can go poorly.

435. ALWAYS travel with a healer - and preferably two.

436. Never scream. Especially not when you're scared. Double especially not once you're almost out of danger.

437. Never ever taunt anyone. Ever.

Edited by Tani
Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 3 weeks later...
  • 2 weeks later...

438c. If you are not the protagonist, then look for something important to the plot, and destroy the evidence if possible. Then you will have to survive so that you can tell the protagonist. 

Edited by Eluvianii
Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 1 month later...

440. If your enemy is taunting you, especially about how they destroyed something with great sentimental value to you (the town where you grew up, your childhood favorite toy, your home planet, etc), keep your anger under control. It’s almost certainly a ploy to kill or capture you, and attacking them right then and there won’t do any good. (Plus, there’s also a chance that they’re lying. It might not be a good chance, depending on a few things, but it’s still a chance.)

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

Loading...
  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.
×
×
  • Create New...