Aon Ati

Rules for Surviving a Fantasy World

313 posts in this topic

396. If you think there is something behind you, don't turn around slowly, run away as quickly as possible.

396a. If you are going to turn around, don't do it slowly, do it fast. Doing it slowly just gives the monster/murderer like ten extra seconds in which it/he can kill you easily.

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397. Never ever laugh at the innocuous orphan/ farm boy he will one day save the world.

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398. Never assume that any experienced member of your team is being "too cruel" If they are doing it, then there is a reason.

399. Ignore 398 if their entire family was killed in front of them by your enemies.

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400. Please shoot the dead guy twice. Destroy the body if it's an undead. 

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On 4/24/2020 at 4:22 PM, Nameless said:

398. Never assume that any experienced member of your team is being "too cruel" If they are doing it, then there is a reason.

Wait, does this apply to Camon?

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52 minutes ago, Elend Venture said:

Wait, does this apply to Camon?

No, this is your questing group.

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401. Try to ensure that you are not associated with people that were born on auspicous days or circumstances. (Seventh son of seventh son, born on All Hallows Eve, born under a comet, etc)

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10 hours ago, Bartimaeus said:

401. Try to ensure that you are not associated with people that were born on auspicous days or circumstances. (Seventh son of seventh son, born on All Hallows Eve, born under a comet, etc)

401a. If you are however, fake your death and go into hiding its your only chance.

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12 hours ago, Nathrangking said:

401a. If you are however, fake your death and go into hiding its your only chance.

401b. It will be discovered that you are not dead and you will know/have something vital that will save the heros.

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Posted (edited)

402. If your nemesis/and or any enemy for that matter doesn’t die in front of your eyes, THEYRE NOT DEAD. Prepare adequately for their eventual and dramatic return.

Edited by Truthless of Shinovar
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3 minutes ago, Truthless of Shinovar said:

402. If your nemesis/and or any enemy for that matter doesn’t die in front of your eyes, THEYRE NOT DEAD. Prepare adequately for their eventual and dramatic return.

402a. even if you watch them die, there is at least a 30% chance they will be ressurected somehow.

402b. there is also at least a 10% chance that said enemy was merely a lieutenant for something worse that will now step forward.

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2 hours ago, Dunkum said:

402b. there is also at least a 10% chance that said enemy was merely a lieutenant for something worse that will now step forward.

402ba.  If they died after saying something about how "little you know" or similar, this chance becomes 95%

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403. When heading out to war ALWAYS stick to the middle of your unit formation wandering off will result in death!!

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17 hours ago, Nathrangking said:

403. When heading out to war ALWAYS stick to the middle of your unit formation wandering off will result in death!!

I’d count that as a rule for surviving the real world too:P

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Posted (edited)

404. If there's an old bearded dude with a staff and robes and he looks like he smiles a lot, follow him. Chances are, he'll send you on an adventure of fantastic proportions.*

*Only applies to fantasy settings. Do not attempt in the real world.

(I only realized just now that I could have done something about Error 404, but I guess it's too late... :( )

Edited by SirWolfe
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20 hours ago, SirWolfe said:

(I only realized just now that I could have done something about Error 404, but I guess it's too late... :( )

The edit button is a pathway to many abilities some consider... unnatural.

405. If someone you meet tells you not to trust anyone (including themselves), don't trust them. They are guaranteed to betray you, and potentially get you killed.

406. Don't mess with rites/items/etc. that are supposed to convey immortality. They have a tendency to dramatically reduce your lifespan if they go wrong.

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407: DO NOT, under any circumstances make a deal with the devil.

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408: Under no circumstances should you tell your partner/team/coworker that you have something to tell them, and then continue the fight/meeting/investigation.  You will die, and they will have to find out the secret via a long, twisted path that could have been easily circumvented.  So tell them immediately!

409: If you hide your past from your children/new team, it will end in tears and/or mistrust.  Other outcomes include death and subsequent horror from your loved ones at the fact that you were a 'monster'.  Just get it out in the open.  However, this will mean you don't get the heroic 'save everyone with hidden skills from your dark past' moment.

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410: NEVER EVER UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES TOUCH ANY TREASURE. THERE IS NO EXCUSE OR EXCEPTION TO THIS.

(Did I mention that i'm reading The Eye of the World?)

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411. If you and your group hear something ominous in the distance. Turn around and run the other way if you value your lives.

412. If someone is a little too interested in your heritage you are likely the prophesied hero in which case get you and your loved ones far away from the interested party.

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413. If someone offers you a quick way to the top (be it in magic, swordsmanship, or any such art) via a secret quest, they're trying to trick you into releasing the bad guy from its eternal slumber.

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414. Any cute looking creature in the woods will either kill you horribly, or become your best friend that dies at a particularly emotional moment.

 

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415: Never look down a dark hole that a camera is panning towards unless you want a bunch of bats in your face.

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416: If the soundtrack suddenly goes quiet, something is probably going to jump out at you.

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417: Don't trust the NPCs.

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