Aon Ati

Rules for Surviving a Fantasy World

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350. If you have a tool, accesory or any kind of object that seems completely useless, carry it with you at all times, you will be needing it in the near future.

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18 hours ago, Eluvianii said:

350. If you have a tool, accesory or any kind of object that seems completely useless, carry it with you at all times, you will be needing it in the near future.

Case in point: HPMoR.

351. If you find out about a whole new magical world, question the rules given to you within the context of your old world instead of just going with it.

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352. Never ignore a wizard's commands.

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353. If someone offers to grant you wishes, run away immediately. No matter what it is, it's not worth it. If you must take them up on it, make as detailed a "contract" as possible that removes all possible ambiguities.

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354. Don't believe anything or expect consistency with anyone anywhere.

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2 hours ago, Karger said:

354. Don't believe anything or expect consistency with anyone anywhere.

sometimes the lack of consistency is just because the author is bad :P

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On 9/6/2019 at 7:51 PM, Dunkum said:

sometimes the lack of consistency is just because the author is bad :P

Considering the shear numbers of bad authors if you assumed otherwise you are toast.

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355. Give up on using a regular steel blade because it is 100% likely there is a mythical metal that will cut your sword like a knife through butter. 

Edited by BookishOcelot
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355a. But also, still use a steel or iron blade as many mythological creatures are weak to it.

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356. If a crazy person claiming to be a long lost family member shows up at your house, then they are trustworthy. if they claim to be from a secret organization sent to recruit you to help save the world or claim to be friends of your dead parents, they are evil.

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357. When offered an object of power always refuse as there is always a price/ catch.

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358. If you are an evil overlord, and feel the compulsive need to build a giant pit in your throne room, and then battle the hero above it, then you should put a net at the bottom, in case you fall whilst fighting said hero.

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359. Beware beautiful women. More often than not, they’ll betray you.

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360a. If you find yourself walking in the woods alone at night, and feel like you're being followed by someone, (or something) start humming or whistling a jaunty tune, and don't falter. 

360b. Ignore 360a if you are with a group, humming or whistling will simply ensure that you are the first one killed.

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361. Never complain about how boring your life and town is. Just don't.

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362. if you are given the choice between a sword or a modern firearm, choose the sword, a gun is always useless against the bad guy minions, let alone the man himself, while swords will chop through high-tier minions left and right, even giving you a chance against the big baddie himself. This rule is doubly true if you are in a movie.

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362a. If you are in need of a ranged weapon, chose throwing knives. They can double as a regular knife in a pinch.

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363. Never pick a fight with these kinds of characters: old men, disabled men, women in impractical high heels, kids. They will invariably turn out to be the most dangerous one among their peers. Just pick the big brute, there's a good chance he's very stupid.

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If you come across someone who becomes your friend and years later, tells you, that they can see the future and they see great things for you in the future, you can save the world from some impending doom in the world, conditional that you do what your friend tells you and not ask any questions, trust me, run, run the other way as fast as fleet!! Run!!

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365. Always, always always, always, listen to Kelsiers advice: There is always another secret. If anyone mysterious confronts you, grill them for answers, don't just let them walk away and disappear, grab them and shake them until they tell you everything they know (don't literally shake them, they might get mad). If something seems obvious, It isn't, it is always going to be difficult, never assume anything, and never trust magic scholars unless they are a thousand years old, nice, and intelligent, having studied magic for generations, and even then don't assume that the limitations they think are true are true. Always ask yourself these three questions: why is this true, Is there another explanation? What powers this? and most importantly of all: How do I become stronger?

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367. Never trust the first version of your world's history. There's likely some secret.

368a. I don't care if it's "just a legend." Give it some credibility.

Edited by Knight of Iron
Fixed numbers
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@The Last Post, why did you jump 217 numbers?

368b. If "it" is a monster, then it is guaranteed to be true, no matter what anyone else says.

369. If you come across some sort of Demon, and it threatens to kill you, simply offer it the souls of your childhood bullies, and then feel guilt-free for the rest of your life, they would probably have just been jerks for the rest of their lives anyways.

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3 hours ago, Llstml said:

@The Last Post, why did you jump 217 numbers?

368b. If "it" is a monster, then it is guaranteed to be true, no matter what anyone else says.

369. If you come across some sort of Demon, and it threatens to kill you, simply offer it the souls of your childhood bullies, and then feel guilt-free for the rest of your life, they would probably have just been jerks for the rest of their lives anyways.

Because I could 

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370. Of you accidentally killed your wife, don’t worry too much about it, do not make a life changing decision that puts you in more danger because of it, she is most likely a member of an immortal unkillable group and you will get a second chance to do it properly..

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