TheDwarfyOne

Poetry Thread

53 posts in this topic

Ooh! Poetry! Here's a sonnet style piece of mine about... Poetry.

 

To cite what I have penned, I shall decline;

From claim upon my work, I must refrain;

Lest, knowing well that character of mine,

You with it might my quotant verse disdain.

My worthy verse you yet may well respect,

That grudging, still the fool you shan't appear;

And truly, that my rhymes reflect

Upon my name I cannot doubt nor fear.

Implicit value seek I to ensure

Of what is writ not hi high, nor low, but middle

By making my true moniker obscure,

And leaving my identity a riddle.

I thus prevent my reputation's curse

From sullying the mettle of my verse.

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I thought I'd try an epic-length Persephone and Hades poem. Here's so far:

Prologue

Beneath the rolling stone of time

Sleeps Hades in a wreath of memory,

While in her orchard-dream Persephone

Shakes stars from hair of blackbird wings.

Together, they could clap the skies

And bring its cradle close enough to kiss.

But on Olympus bitter gods

Would strum away awakenings

With words like whips.

And so reclined in shells like bombs

Persephone and Hades sleep

Their plans strawberry dreams held deep

Beneath the waves. They have not met.

But in the indigo a storm is strained

And lightning loves to hit the rod.

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Really nice @TheDwarfyOne!

Totally unsolicited advice spoilered below

Spoiler
On 7/8/2020 at 9:56 AM, TheDwarfyOne said:

Sleeps Hades in a wreath of memory,

I kept wanting to read this as:

Sleeps Hades in memory wreathed

(Something about the flow of the original line felt discontinuous with the rest of the poem)

There's only one other line that stuck out to me as not quite fitting in with the rest of your very beautiful prologue:

On 7/8/2020 at 9:56 AM, TheDwarfyOne said:

But in the indigo a storm is strained

It's that "the", I kept wanting to read the line as

But in indigo a storm is strained.

The previous line mentions the ocean, the continuity of the idea is established, the definite article only seems to break the cadence of the line.

On 7/8/2020 at 9:56 AM, TheDwarfyOne said:

And lightning loves to hit the rod.

I love this line!! That could totally be the name of your first collection of poems!

 

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