Why Hoid Hates Bavadin

[AntiqueArabesque]

It is known to most Cosmere fans that Hoid is a fan of the college student's favorite meal: instant noodles. The question is, however, where would he have had something like this in a universe that is predominantly High Fantasy? The answer is simple.To quote a WoB:

Spoiler

Questioner [PENDING REVIEW]

What's the deal with Hoid and instant noodles?

Brandon Sanderson [PENDING REVIEW]

...He likes his ramen, right? Like any sane person, he likes his instant noodles. Nothing more than that.

Questioner [PENDING REVIEW]

...Has he ever had instant noodles?

Brandon Sanderson [PENDING REVIEW]

Yeah, he's had instant noodles before. They have them on Taldain, yeah.

Now what would be stopping our wittty, white-haired friend from stopping by his local Taldain Conveniences and buying a 24 pack of Lossand Spice flavored ramen?

That lies with one issue. One large issue invested into the Dayside star of Taldain. 

Bavadin--being the bearer of the shard Autonomy--has limited off-world travel in and out of Taldain, restricting our snarky Yolish Worldhopper's options to pushing development in other regions in the direction of plastic cups and fried noodles. This would explain his interest in Scadrial, it being one of the most technologically advanced Shardworlds outside of Taldain. Given a push in the right direction, Hoid could be seeing his noodles in less than a century--with Scadrial currently being analougous to Late 1800s/Early 1900s Earth.

Naturally, anyone would be mad if someone took away a ready supply of their favorite food and forced them to push a world's development for around a century just to get at it again. As a result, it wouldn't be too much of a logical jump for Hoid to bear a grudge against Bavadin for trying to stem his instant noodle addiction.

(please be gentle, this is my first theory post)

 

Edited December 18, 2017 by AntiqueArabesque
Added a conclusion

[Melovespie]

I just think it is great that you put this much thought into Hoid liking ramen. 

[Landis963]

That is certainly plausible, although I suspect Hoid's antipathy for Bavadin runs far deeper than "She's keeping me from getting my favorite food!"  It is a good first theory, though.  Welcome to the Shard!

Edited December 18, 2017 by Landis963

[shawnhargreaves]

It makes perfect sense that delicious (yet non-nutritious) food of the dried, "just add water" variety would originate on Taldain.

And I love this first theory!  Can it be extended further?  Is the reason Hoid collects so many invested objects because there are other delicious snacks that have not been available since the shattering of Adonalsium?  Perhaps his ultimate goal is the ability to recreate the cheesy wotsit?

[AntiqueArabesque]

@shawnhargreaves

I'll try and add more in a new post when I have time, but I've been pretty busy as of late. I typed this one out in about 45 minutes and something longer would probably take a few hours.

Edited December 18, 2017 by AntiqueArabesque

[echaozh]

I think you actually got it wrong. It's not Hoid hating Bavadin because she restricts traveling in and out of Taldain. I think it's Bavadin restricting traveling because she and Hoid hates each other! Look at Obrodai, it will be another place Hoid will not be able to easily access!

[First of midnight]

I like the idea that this is his driving motive. Everything he does is just moving toward getting more instant noodles in the Cosmere. 

[Willshaping Crasher]

Hoid should just recruit Lift and take her along on his travels.  She is great at finding food. Problem solved!

[Fezzik]

@First of midnight, welcome to the shard! Have some cookies! 

[Master Knapper]

Could Bavadin have restricted access to Taldain simply to protect the supply of Ramen? I had to do the same thing once to protect my beer supply.

[shawnhargreaves]

1 minute ago, Master Knapper said:

Could Bavadin have restricted access to Taldain simply to protect the supply of Ramen? I had to do the same thing once to protect my beer supply.

Autonomy is notoriously unforgiving of other people stealing stuff out of the fridge.  GET YOUR OWN!

[Clovermite]

21 hours ago, Master Knapper said:

Could Bavadin have restricted access to Taldain simply to protect the supply of Ramen? I had to do the same thing once to protect my beer supply.

 

On 12/18/2017 at 1:03 PM, shawnhargreaves said:

It makes perfect sense that delicious (yet non-nutritious) food of the dried, "just add water" variety would originate on Taldain.

And I love this first theory!  Can it be extended further?  Is the reason Hoid collects so many invested objects because there are other delicious snacks that have not been available since the shattering of Adonalsium?  Perhaps his ultimate goal is the ability to recreate the cheesy wotsit?

 

I could see a Cosmere themed South Park episode based on these two ideas as a premise.

[AntiqueArabesque]

I suppose that it's fair that Autonomy doesn't want Hoid Bavadin her in Taldain. I mean, it would suck to have your own personal stache of instant noodles being stolen away like that.

[Kered]

If this is the case than it only makes sense that the reason Hoid has a grudge with Rayse is because Rayse has somehow impeded Hoid from eating bacon.

Odium really is a monster. 

[shawnhargreaves]

18 hours ago, Kered said:

If this is the case than it only makes sense that the reason Hoid has a grudge with Rayse is because Rayse has somehow impeded Hoid from eating bacon.

This can be easily demonstrated through an application of basic set theory:

Take the letters in the word "Rayse':  r, a, y, s, e.

Order them alphabetically, producing the set R = { a, e, r, s, y }

Now take 'bacon', which gives the set B = { a, b, c, n, o }

We can understand Odium's past interactions with bacon by looking at the intersection of these two sets, R ∩ B = { a }

Of course any cosmere scholar will immediately recognize that a solitary 'a' must represent Adonalsium.  Therefore, it is proven that Rayse has consumed all bacon since the time of the Shattering.  He takes not only pain and other strong emotions, but also delicious and crispy pig products.  No wonder Hoid doesn't like him!

[Ethan_sedai]

On 12/28/2017 at 0:34 AM, Willshaping Crasher said:

Hoid should just recruit Lift and take her along on his travels.  She is great at finding food. Problem solved!

also, 

Oathbringer spoilers

Spoiler

Lift is very good at getting into places that should be impossible to get into, like Dalinar's visions, for example.