redgarlic68

[OB] Funny moments in Oathbringer

114 posts in this topic

Dalinar's first meeting with Lift

L: Don't trust him, he has too nice a butt.....you should have an old flabby butt, then I'd trust you.

G: She...has a thing about butts

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He glanced to the side, then cocked his head. Was he looking at her--
Oh, no. It was just the book, which she was still sitting on.
---
"You've been the hottest topics on the spanreed informant networks! Dalinar Kholin, the Blackthorn, has gone mad! He claims to have killed the Almighty!"
---
"But this is . . . like their bathwater," Eth complained.
"Chilled," Rock said, "with spices. Is good taste."
"Is bathwater," Eth said, imitating Rock's accent.
---
Dalinar grunted. "Your name is Lift, right?"
"Right."
"And your order?"
"More food."
 

Edited by yurisses
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Remarks getting smushed by the Thunderclast, only to cut its hand off and stand up with basically no damage.

Lift being sympathetic with Nightblood about hunger.

Pattern being horror-movie-savvy and suggesting Shallan run because they saw some scary pictures—not on the walls (which actually could indicate a dangerous area) but in her own notebook.

Syl hiding in a trench coat to avoid detection.

The Unmade in the Oathgate making a mini Stranger Things area.

Amaram becoming gem-Venom (from Spider-Man 3) because everything about him has been consumed by the gemheart, but he still has his face. Makes me think it was just in case that scene gets in a Stormlight 3 movie.

There were so many funny quips...

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„Adolin peeked around the corner, expecting to find another stone monster like the one that had climbed into the Ancient Ward.
 Instead, he found only Jasnah Kholin, looking completely nonplussed.“

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I loved the Ellista interlude! It was so funny her reading and reacting to the Jane Austen of Roshar. I loved in the same interlude, as someone already pointed out, when Ardent Urv responds, "Sequels always have to bigger." Each Stormlight book has been longer than the previous one!

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Probably already mentioned, but how Syl turned herself in was really funny.

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17 minutes ago, Blacksmithki said:

Probably already mentioned, but how Syl turned herself in was really funny.

My current favorite moment in literally anything he’s written

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The fun of doing scientific research in a world with emotion spren:

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This city was brimming with them. It was stuffed with them, so tightly they couldn’t help but ooze out.

The only thing for Shallan to do, then, was punch herself in the face.

I thought the joke went a bit too far with the shamespren though but I liked this "moving swiftly on" bit at the end:

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“I’mfinethatwasanexperiment,” she said, ducking into the showroom and throwing herself into a seat placed there for customers. Storms, that was humiliating.

She really has that "you don't have to be crazy to work here but it helps" vibe going here...

 

A bit of gallows humour:

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A day after being murdered in a brutal fashion, Shallan found that she was feeling much better.

 

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Spoilers for length.

When Syl got a new hat.

Spoiler
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Kaladin waited for the prince to finis, until Syl stepped up and presented herslef in an oversized poncho tied with a belt. On her head she wore a large, floppy hat.

"What's that?" Kaladin asked.

"Clothes!"

"Why do you need clothes? Yours are built in."

"Those are boring."

"Can't you change them?"

"Takes Stormlight, on this side," hse said. "Plus, the dress is part of my essence, so I'm actually walking around naked  all the time."

 

Syl. I love you.

 

And Pattern. Just... Pattern.

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"Anyway," Shallan said. "Pattern, you're to be our chaperone tonight."

"What,"Pattern said with a hum, "is a chaperone?"

"That is someone who watches two young people when they are together, to make certain they don't do anything inappropriate."

"Inappropriate?" Pattern said. " Such as... dividing by zero?

 

Spoiler
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"You know, I've never really felt like this before? It's not just Kaladin, it's all of this. And what's happening to us." He shook his head. "We certainly are an odd bunch."

"Yes. Seven people. Odd."

 

And finally, Shallan. She's insane, but you gotta love'er! Oh, Shallan... what are we going to do with you? Anyway.

Long version.

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        Someone knocked on the wooden plate hung outside her rooms. She had just a cloth draping the doorway right now. Many of the tower's doors had warped over the years; hers had been ripped out, and she was still waiting on a replacement.

        The one knocking would be Palona, who had once again noticed that Shallan had skipped dinner. Shallan sucked in a breath, destroying the image of Veil, recovering some of the Stormlight from her Lightweaving. "Come," she said. Honestly, it didn't seem to matter to Palona that Shallan was a storming Knight Radiant now, she'd still mother her all the--

        Adolin stepped in, carrying a large plate of food in one hand, some books under the other arm. He saw her and stumbled, nearly dropping it all. Shallan froze, then yelped and tucked her bare safehand behind her back. Adolin didn't even have the dececny to blush at finding her practicaloy naked. He balanced the food in his hand, recovering from his stumble, and then grinned. 

        "Out!" Shallan said, waving her free hand at him. "Out, out, out!"

        He backed away awkwardly, through the draped cloth over the doorway. Stormfather!

        Shallan's blush was probably so bright they cold have used her as a signal to send the army to war. She pulled on a glove, then wrapped that in a safepouch, then threw on the blue dress she had draped over the back of her chair and did up the sleeve. She didn't have the presence of mind to pull on her bodice vest first, not that she really needed one anyway. She kicked it under a blanket instead. 

        In my defense," Adolin said from outside, "you did invite me in."

        "I thought you were Palona!" Shallan said, doing up the buttons on the side of her dress--which proved difficult, with three layers covering her safehand.

        "You know, you could check to see who is at your door."

        "Don't make this my fault," Shallan said. "You're the one slipping into young ladis' bedrooms practically unannounced."

        "I knocked!"

        "The knock was feminine."

        "It was... Shallan!"

        "Did you knock with one hand or two?"

        "I'm carrying a storming platter of food--for you, by the way. Of course the knock was one-handed. And seriously, who knocks with two""

        "It was quite feminine, then. I'd have thought that imitating a woman to catch a glimpse of a young lady in her undergarments was beneath you, Adolin Kholin."

 

Short version. (Just the punchline.) 

Spoiler
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"The knock was feminine."

 

 

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The moment when Kaladin was reunited with his parents was incredibly touching the first time I read it...to the point that I skipped over this little visual gem:

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“Hello, Father,” Kaladin said.

The guardsman finally caught up, shouldering past gawking townspeople and waving his mace toward Kaladin like a baton. Kaladin sidestepped absently, then pushed the man so he stumbled farther down the hallway.

“It is you,” Lirin said. Then he scrambled over and caught Kaladin in an embrace. “Oh, Kal. My boy. My little boy. Hesina! HESINA!

 

That shove had better make it into the movie...

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Love this one:

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Rua landed on his head, then made a little squeal of angry delight while proffering toward Kaladin a double rude gesture. 

“Don’t wear it out, naco,” Lopen said. 

Also, there was a moment in Shadesmar where Shallan off-handedly mentions that Pattern is standing around thinking about numbers. The math geek in me was rolling on the floor with that one. I've tried to find the exact quote and can't, so I may have made it up in the midst of my delirious reading frenzy. 

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2 armed herzedian jokes killed me. Also the short jokes, I'm lucky I'm tall though or they would have gone over my head

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Shallan - got a splinter stuck in me joke with Kaladin

Lift/nightblood - Lift telling Crazyface and Nightblood asking if Lift can explain the meaning of certain obscenities she’s shouting.

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Um … you’re supposed to watch out for Cryptics.” Pattern hummed happily. “Yes. We are very famous.”

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Pretty much every Pattern, Lopen, and Nightblood comment made me lose my stormdroppings. There were a ton of really surprising moments of humor during the battle of Thaylen City too. Some of my faves:

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"Adolin climbed to his feet, and came face-to-face with an illusion of himself wearing a Kholin uniform. The illusory Adolin glowed with Stormlight and floated a few inches off the ground. She'd made him a Windrunner. I... I can't take that.

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You should draw me, Szeth! I would love to see the lake. Vasher says there are magic fish here. Isn't that interesting?

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"Move, Lopen."

"Ah, you have to ask the right way. I'm not one-armed anymore! I can't be shoved around. Say, do you know how to get two armed Herdazians to do what you want?"

 

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Can't you just find evil, then destroy it?

"And what is evil, sword-nimi?"

I'm sure you can spot it. You seem smart. If increasingly kind of boring. 

 

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*Adolin running into Maya's corpse in Shadesmar* 

"That is your sword," Pattern said in a perky voice. He had no mouth that Adolin could see. "Hmmmm. She is quite dead. I don't think you can summon her here." 

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Vivenna: "Um... you're supposed to watch out for Cryptics."
Pattern hummed happily. "Yes. We are very famous." 

There are so, so many more. I loved every one of Lift's interactions with Dalinar and Szeth, too. 

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Best unintentional joke award goes to Sadeas:

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“We need to get you some Shards, my friend.”

“To protect me?”

“Protect you? Storms, Dalinar, at this point I’m not certain a rockslide could kill you.

Sanderson, Brandon. Oathbringer: Book Three of the Stormlight Archive (p. 52). Tom Doherty Associates. Kindle Edition. 

 

Gotta throw in another Pattern line. Pattern is the best spren:

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“Lightspren are usually guides,” Azure continued. “They like to travel, to see new places. They sail all across Roshar’s Shadesmar, peddling goods, trading with other spren. Um … you’re supposed to watch out for Cryptics.”

Pattern hummed happily. “Yes. We are very famous.”

Sanderson, Brandon. Oathbringer: Book Three of the Stormlight Archive (p. 887). Tom Doherty Associates. Kindle Edition. 

3

 

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No Mating.

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Jasnah deadpans:

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"Seven Radiants?" Jasnah said, skeptical. "Uncle, that seems like a tall order, even if one of us is - aparently - the storming Assassin in White."

- Chapter 119

 

Edited by emailanimal
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The funniest I felt is all the conversation between Lift and sword nimi.. so hilarious... also the part when the sword ask whether lift know meaning of those curse words

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13 hours ago, Fifth of Daybreak said:
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“Protect you? Storms, Dalinar, at this point I’m not certain a rockslide could kill you."

 

Now that's what they call foreshadowing.

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“I could lock you away again,” the captain said. “Or even have you tossed overboard.” “Yeah? And what would that do to Syl? She told me that losing a bonded Radiant was hard on their spren.” “True. But she would recover, and it might be for the best. Your relationship with the Ancient Daughter is . . . inappropriate.”

“It’s not like we eloped.”

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“Were you . . . thinkin’ you’d fight them all on your own?” Lift said. “With a book?” “There is someone else for me to fight here.” “. . . With a book?” “Yes.” She shook her head. “Sure, all right. Why not? What do you want me to do?” The girl didn’t match the conventional ideal of a Knight Radiant. Not even five feet tall, thin and wiry, she looked more urchin than soldier. She was also all he had.

“Do you have a weapon?” he asked. “Nope. Can’t read.”

 

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There, Lift thought, picking out a real Voidbringer—the type that looked like parshmen, only big and scary. This one was a woman, and moved across the rock smoothly, like she was awesome too. “I’ve always wondered,” Lift said. “Do you suppose they got those marble colorings on all their parts?” “Mistress? Does it matter?”

 

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“Highly unlikely,” Shallan agreed. “They keep this deck well maintained, so there really aren’t any splinters.” “With my luck, I’d find one anyway.” “I had a splinter once,” Shallan noted. “It eventually got out of hand.” “You . . . you did not just say that.” “Yes, you obviously imagined it. What a sick, sick mind you have, Kaladin.”

 

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To Me one of the funniest moments is When the Stormfather gets genuinely angry at the Night Watcher/Cultivation for what she did in making Lift, he seems Mad that she isn't restricted by the storms and the "She goes to Far!" line had me laughing, as well as Dalinar's downright confusion as too why his spren was suddenly sulking.

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I don't think this bit of dialogue gets enough love:

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“I’m not your enemy, son.”

“I’m not your son, tyrant.”

And the fact that Dalinar doesn't stop calling him "son."

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I can't not hear that in LMM's Hamilton voice. you stabbed him in the side yes he yields

Also, when Dalinar is going to trap Nergaoul and says "Hello, old friend", I just

Hello darkness my old friend, I've come to talk with you again

Because these visions with the storms blowing left their seeds and they are growing

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