Kinnsayyy

Explain a Plot Badly

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Warbreaker

Spoiler

The friendly mercenary most everybody loves is killed by the abrasive hobo most everybody hates. The world is saved.

 

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14 hours ago, Shqueeves said:

Hoid

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Stan Lee

Or

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Where's Waldo

 

Or maybe...

Spoiler

The musical, thieving, begging, storyteller, journeys across the stars.   

 

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Let's see how I do...

tWoK

Spoiler

Heralds

Spoiler

All- powerful beings stab a rock.

Szeth

Spoiler

An assassin kills a lot of people because someone owns his rock.

Kaladin

Spoiler

A poor soldier saves his captain's life, then gets sold into slavery by his captain so his captain can get a sword, and becomes severely depressed. Then befriends a fairy. And is still depressed.

Or

Spoiler

Grunt

Shallan

Spoiler

A girl becomes a princess's ward, steals some of the princess's jewelry, then pretends to try to commit suicide to hide the fact that she has the jewelry. Then lot's of bread and jam enters the story.

Adolin

Spoiler

Prince gets mad because he can't pretend to hurt people.

Dalinar

Spoiler

Crazy old man sees things during storms, and speaks in an ancient language during the storms. and is incredibly stupid. (See: end of tWoK. The scene involves a priceless sword).

 

WoR

Spoiler

Heralds

Spoiler

Nothing happens.

Szeth

Spoiler

An assassin kills lot's of people because someone has his rock, then finds out the rock doesn't do anything, dies, and comes back.

Kaladin

Spoiler

A soldier becomes a very important person, liked very much by the king, gets his boots stolen, falls on lots of walls, saves a prince's life, says some things about his former captain, is arrested by the king, is released, saves the kings life, gets a sword, and kills an assassin who comes back from the dead. And is still depressed.

Or

Spoiler

Grunt

Shallan

Spoiler

Makes some very important discoveries, has a conversation with a stick, falls in love, and gets stuck in a deep trench.

Adolin

Spoiler

Prince get's to pretend to hurt people, almost gets killed on several occasions, and falls in love.

Dalinar

Spoiler

Crazy old man sees things during storms, and speaks in an ancient language during the storms, falls in love, gets a new sword, becomes friendly with a god, and gets powers.

 

Hehe. This is fun.

Elantris

Spoiler

Prince turns into a zombie, princess gives zombies food, prince draws a lot, stubs his toe, and saves the world.

Warbreaker

Spoiler

King dooms his young daughter to the fate of his older daughter, princess falls in love with a tongueless god-king, other princess tries to save the other princess, and crazy man talks to a sword. And they save the world by breathing.

I'll do Mistborn later.
Edited by Tesh
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Warbreaker

Spoiler

ancient powerful founder of an empire talks to a sword and feels attracted to a heretic who does not believe in him.

 

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The Final Empire

Spoiler

A creature of instinct is trained by a creature of vengeance to take down a creature of dominance.

The Well of Ascension

Spoiler

Saving the world turns out to be a bad idea when there's miscommunication between a mute God and a conflicted scholar.

The Hero of Ages

Spoiler

A couple's quest to save the world through conquest ends up getting both of them killed.

 

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13 minutes ago, Crucible of Shards said:

The Final Empire

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A creature of instinct is trained by a creature of vengeance to take down a creature of dominance.

The Well of Ascension

  Reveal hidden contents

Saving the world turns out to be a bad idea when there's miscommunication between a mute God and a conflicted scholar.

The Hero of Ages

  Reveal hidden contents

A couple's quest to save the world through conquest ends up getting both of them killed.

 

Or...

Spoiler

An orphan is taken in by a con man and accidentally uses the power of a greater god to kill a lesser god.

Spoiler

An imprisoned evil god convinces said orphan that the only way to save the world is to open the door to his prison.

Spoiler

Said orphan becomes a kamakaze deity 

 

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@Tesh - the Elantris one and depressed Kaladin ones are great XD

New Spring:

Spoiler

Two girls with magic powers go to banks and shop for dresses.  Later one of them throws a man in a lake, they grumble at each other, and then he's stuck with her for life.

 

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28 minutes ago, Taliax said:

@Tesh - the Elantris one and depressed Kaladin ones are great XD

New Spring:

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Two girls with magic powers go to banks and shop for dresses.  Later one of them throws a man in a lake, they grumble at each other, and then he's stuck with her for life.

 

Thanks. ^_^

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32 minutes ago, Extesian said:

The Silmarillion

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Someone plays the wrong note in a symphony. The world sucks for 4000 years.

 

Beautiful, sir. Just beautiful. 

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Spiderman Homecoming

Spoiler

A very rich man gives expensive presents to an underage boy and ask him to wear tight clothes.

 

Edited by Idealistic
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Firstborn

Spoiler

A perpetual failure realizes the only way to win is to make himself lose.

Centrifugal

Spoiler

A family literally goes into debt for Seppuku.

 

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AoL

Spoiler

A rich dude and a Kleptomaniac chase after an amoral immortal good guy turned bad guy. 

 

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AoL

Spoiler

Batman vs Blissy with unlimited full restores

 

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5 hours ago, Shqueeves said:

AoL

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Batman vs Blissy with unlimited full restores

 

This makes me hate Miles on a whole new level

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SoS

Spoiler

When ex's made of jello attack.

 

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Got an alternate for:

Final Fantasy 3

Spoiler

Four orphans go on to kill a cloud that looks like a naked woman

Final Fantasy 6

Spoiler

The most epic opera ever!!!

 

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Elantris

Spoiler

A tale of two seriously messed up cities.

 

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Boredom time. 

Elantris

Spoiler

Zombies try to live again by poking holes in the air. 

Mistborn Era 1 

Spoiler

A teenage girl loses her mentor, falls in love, becomes a God and trashes everything. 

Mistborn Era 2

Spoiler

God is a manipulative jerk who messes with people's love lives

SA 

Spoiler

Everyone is either in a secret group, or gets powers. Everyone. 

 

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13 minutes ago, Calderis said:

Boredom time. 

Elantris

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Zombies try to live again by poking holes in the air. 

Mistborn Era 1 

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A teenage girl loses her mentor, falls in love, becomes a God and trashes everything. 

Mistborn Era 2

  Hide contents

God is a manipulative jerk who messes with people's love lives

SA 

  Hide contents

Everyone is either in a secret group, or gets powers. Everyone. 

 

Eat your heart out amazon these are the real plot descriptions!!

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@Calderis "Poking holes in the air" made me laugh SO HARD.

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On 18/08/2017 at 11:34 AM, Flash said:

The SE side is more like 

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People get their entertainment politely killing each other. All the time. 

 

You have earned your title

 

Also!!!

Shallan

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A young woman makes friends with a figment of humanity's collective imagination, which isn't well liked with other figments of humanity's collective imagination, to gain the magical power to argue with sticks on why they should be fire. Oh and she can glow too.

Welcome to Nightvale

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Everything is a conspiracy,  it's obviously created by the government secret society missile site in the canyons. 

No Steve Carlsburg, the secret underground missile site is under the mine, obviously

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A very, very, very long inside joke that makes outsiders question the listeners sanity

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ALL HAIL THE GLOWCLOUD

Edited by Did Someone Say Kill Evil?
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Jasnah

Spoiler

Middle aged heretic receives powers from a long dead divinity.

 

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WoK:

A one armed man overcomes his handicap and the adversities of life threatening slave labor through his positive attitude

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On 07/06/2017 at 11:27 PM, A Budgie said:

Alcatraz vs the evil librarians: 

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Boy has a talent for breaking things and his grandfather who swears in author's names defeat a bunch of librarians with glasses.
Worst bit is, I didn't need to make any of that weirder than it already is...

2001: A space Odessy

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Dude looks at big rock on moon for a while, while another guy goes on a trip and kills his computer. Also, aliens did some cool stuff.

Every single Poirot ever:

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Guy with fabulous moustaches spends entire book admiring them and being kinda full of himself and sitting in his chair. Oh, and he figures out who did it.

Every single Miss Marple:

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Old lady talkss her past and knits a scarf. Also, she knows who did the murder.

Arcanum Unbounded:

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Woman fangirls over magic systems inbetween short stories, but somehow forgot an entire planet.

Mistborn: Secret History:

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Guy who was dead is not dead anymore.

Perfect State:

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A guy's date goes wrong when the woman he's with turns out to be from another world.

Legion:

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The voices in a guy's head are smarter than he is.

Firstborn:

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Guy spends book wishing he could be as good as himself.

Worm:

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Girl fights people with bugs because aliens give people powers.

Night Watch (Terry Pratchett):

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Guy travels back in time so he can talk about hardboiled eggs.

The Golden Compass:

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Girl uses compass incorrectly, then fights a bear.

The Little Prince:

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Boy talks to random stranger and causes lots of people to cry.

Okay, I think that's enough for now.

The Poirot one... so true. 

But you missed Tommy and Tuppence:

[spoiler/]

A guy and a girl constantly find government conspiracies, then talk vaguely until something happens that solves a mystery.

 

[/spoiler]

 

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