Bearer of all agonies Posted December 27, 2020 Report Share Posted December 27, 2020 The Shard life: Spoiler DramaQueen: *disappears* Everyone: ‘Ahhhh! We’re all gonna die!’ DramaQueen: *reappears* Everyone: ‘Ahhhh! We’re all gonna die!’ 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Truthless of Shinovar Posted December 31, 2020 Report Share Posted December 31, 2020 On 12/26/2020 at 10:52 PM, Mystic Syn said: Star Wars yes, we're doing this I: The Phantom Menace Reveal hidden contents Old man tries to get a treaty signed, but woman says no by taking advantage of technologically inferior indigenous people II: Attack of the Clones Reveal hidden contents Man makes an army of himself for a corrupted religion, who are also space wizards; featuring the long-awaited duel between Saruman and Kermit the space wizard leprechaun Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) Reveal hidden contents Makes annoying gifted child more likable with war and death, also featuring political intrigue III: Revenge of the Sith Reveal hidden contents Annoying gifted child gets a mechanical upgrade thanks to Nick Fury and the sassiest space wizard priest; his wife dies catches the case of the big sad and dies Rogue One: A Star Wars Story Reveal hidden contents Group of ragtag adventurers find blueprints for the Space Disco Ball, then die Solo: A Star Wars Story Reveal hidden contents A director turns a Wookiepedia article into film about a smuggler turning into a smuggler with a walking carpet as a best friend as they smuggle drugs Star Wars: Rebels Reveal hidden contents Tiny group of terrorists fight disabled war veteran and a human sized, red eyed Smurf through terrorist bombing; goes poorly IIIV: A New Hope Reveal hidden contents Farmboy finds hotshot smuggler, walking carpet, and sassy space wizard now old to save a princess; eventually blows up Space Disco Ball, killing millions V: The Empire Strikes Back Reveal hidden contents Farmboy finds out that he's related to a disabled war veteran, who takes his hand VI: Return of the Jedi Reveal hidden contents First thirty minutes of the movie: Worst plan ever to save the hotshot smuggler from a giant space slug, who is the local mob boss of the farmboy's home. Kermit the space wizard leprechaun dies. Terrorist make a plan to destroy Space Disco Ball 2.0 by sending their A-Team to the haunted woods, during which they befriend the indigenous man-eating teddy bears. Bring Son to Work Day ends with the disabled war veteran quitting his job by throwing his boss down a shaft which he could not realistically survive. The Mandalorian (so far) Reveal hidden contents A single dad indoctrinated into a religious cult adopts Robin (the "nephew" of Kermit). Old has-been returns from the dead takes over crime syndicate. VII: The Force Awakens Reveal hidden contents Reference Episode IV, but worse and with a Mary Sue Star Wars: Resistance Reveal hidden contents Poor Dave Filoni has to give us an even more kid friendly show that no one asked for about unofficially government supported group of terrorists VIII: The Last Jedi Reveal hidden contents Director single handily ruins the franchise in most people's eyes by "subverting" expectations IX: The Rise of Skywalker Reveal hidden contents Director tries to erase the last movie and no one knows what the heck is going on as the characters are rushing from Point A to Point Z in record time with no regard to character development @The Ward's Guard This... this is comedy. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
midnight13 Posted January 19, 2021 Report Share Posted January 19, 2021 WoK: Spoiler Rock makes soup. A lot of it. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Condensation Posted January 19, 2021 Report Share Posted January 19, 2021 These are really funny. I just about busted a gut. (Figuratively, not literally.) 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Crucible of Shards Posted January 24, 2021 Report Share Posted January 24, 2021 Starsight: Spoiler A young warrior becomes a spy in order to learn how to use her companion as a fuel source. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Random Bystander Posted January 29, 2021 Report Share Posted January 29, 2021 Elantris: Spoiler (I changed ONE word.) Fencing, fighting, torture, revenge, magic, monsters, chases, escapes, true love, miracles! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nehalem Posted April 13, 2021 Report Share Posted April 13, 2021 (edited) Miraculous: Tales of Ladybug and Cat Noir Spoiler A grieving widower helps people get revenge on those who wrong them in order to help bring his wife back from the dead Edited April 13, 2021 by nehalem 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BreezeCauthon Posted April 13, 2021 Report Share Posted April 13, 2021 Beowulf Spoiler Super strong dude invites himself to some guy's house, rips the arm off of a home invader 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nathrangking Posted April 13, 2021 Report Share Posted April 13, 2021 Dr. Faustus Spoiler Wise man makes a bargain. Does not read fine print. He tries to make the best of it. Deal comes back to bite him. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Regent Posted April 15, 2021 Report Share Posted April 15, 2021 (edited) Mine for Stormlight Spoiler So basically: the fate of the world rests in the hands of mentally unstable individuals with god powers. And no, they will not get therapy in the near future. Edited April 15, 2021 by caramel_ 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Personification Posted April 15, 2021 Report Share Posted April 15, 2021 5 hours ago, caramel_ said: Mine for Stormlight Hide contents So basically: the fate of the world rests in the hands of mentally unstable individuals with god powers. And no, they will not get therapy in the near future. Also every superhero movie/work, but perhaps most specifically Suicide Squad. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tacitus Posted April 15, 2021 Report Share Posted April 15, 2021 (edited) WoT: Spoiler Main character doesn't want to be main character, but he's just such a main character. Edited April 15, 2021 by Omi the Counselor 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bejarden Posted April 16, 2021 Report Share Posted April 16, 2021 (edited) Sythe ( Anyone read this?) Spoiler Humanity has conquered death. But the people are employed to kill you anyway Edited April 16, 2021 by Bejardin1250 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BreezeCauthon Posted April 17, 2021 Report Share Posted April 17, 2021 Avengers: Endgame Spoiler Several years after a purple monster killed half the population, a ragtag group of heroes who've lost everyone must bring back the world by gathering the magical stones. What? Plagiarism? Who, me? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
danex Posted April 17, 2021 Report Share Posted April 17, 2021 15 minutes ago, BreezeCauthon said: Avengers: Endgame Hide contents Hide contents Several years after a purple monster killed half the population, a ragtag group of heroes who've lost everyone must bring back the world by gathering the magical stones. What? Plagiarism? Who, me? @Channelknight Fadran 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Use the Falchion Posted April 17, 2021 Report Share Posted April 17, 2021 Power Rangers Spoiler A group of underqualified teenagers* are given a year-long unpaid internship in superheroics and world-saving that rarely gives any long-term career opportunities (unless you're in a season that has a military or paramilitary organization attached to the Rangers). However, in return they get to: Save the world at least once, gain access to technology way above your paygrade, travel to new places and fight weird monsters, make lifelong friends, possibly talk to a dinosaur or time travel, possibly go to space, and keep your family alive (because traumatic backstories are few and far between). *Most of the time. If the Rangers are attached to a military or paramilitary organization, the most of the Rangers will be surprisingly qualified. (See: Lost Galaxy, Lightspeed Rescue, Time Force, Wild Force, Ninja Storm, SPD, Jungle Fury, RPM, and Beast Morphers) And sometimes, they won't even be teenagers! 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wyndlerunner Posted April 17, 2021 Report Share Posted April 17, 2021 Demon Slayer: Kimetsu No Yaiba Season 1: Spoiler Following the murder of his family by Vampire Michael Jackson, a young charcoal selling boy learns how to breathe and use a sword. Along the way he meets a speedy boi who's crushing on the charcoal seller's vampire sister, and Flex Armstrong wearing a Boar's Head. They go to a mountain, where the young charcoal seller dance fights a spider vampire boy with a family complex. Afterwhich the young boy is put on trial for keeping his vampire sister alive, he is abetted, and is admitted to rehab where he learns to breathe better. Demon Slayer The Movie: Mugen Train: Spoiler Charcoal boy and his intrepid comrades go for a lovely train ride with a strong owl-faced flame boy, whereupon the androgynous vampire on the train repeats the plot of Inception by trapping our heroes in dreams. Charcoal boy remembers that if you die in the game you die in real life, and goes to confront the androgynous vampire, whereupon he is assualted by the vampire's hypnotic handmouth. He decapitates the androgynous vampire, who reveals that charcoal boy has activated his Trap Card, and fuses with the train in a twisted mockery of Thomas the Tank Engine. Everyone works together to use the power of swords and proper breathing to defeat the train. Flame Boy meets a stronger vampire, who aggressively flirts with him by demanding that Flame Boy become a vampire as well. They fight, flame boy has an emotional speech and dies, and the stronger vampire flees from the hideous light of the day-star. Everyone cries, including you. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eluvianii Posted April 18, 2021 Report Share Posted April 18, 2021 Fate/Stay Night: Heaven's Feel: Spoiler A girl enters the hunger games and true to the name, decides to eat the competition. She will also give birth to the root of all evil, so naturally a priest does everything in his power to make sure that happens. Meanwhile, the girl's boyfriend and self-proclaimed hero, decides to ignore the girl's body count, and dies for her, but his sister and his ex-crush revive him as a magic doll so he proceeds to go on a date with her now redeemed girlfriend. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Regent Posted April 18, 2021 Report Share Posted April 18, 2021 (edited) Skyward Spoiler Girl gets into pilot/flight school and meets a mushroom-obsessed AI in the process Mistborn (era 1) Spoiler Girl gets thrown into a cult with a leader that's hellbent on taking down their emperor...it backfires, kinda. Also: note that this isn't for kids unless you want to see them trying to swallow pennies and tatter up your blankets Stormlight (I already did this but here's another one anyway) Spoiler God powers are making their comeback. Also involves crabs. A lot of them. Alcatraz vs. The Evil Librarians Spoiler A self-proclaimed liar debunks the entirety of World History in 308 pages (+ free writing tips in the later books too) Rithmatist Spoiler Chalk drawing is suddenly the most powerful thing around. Also contains: when you're the chalk expert but you weren't a chosen one (rip Joel) Harry Potter Spoiler Chosen one. That's it. Matilda Spoiler Insanely gifted kid goes to school. Shenanigans ensue Edited April 18, 2021 by caramel_ 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Channelknight Fadran Posted April 18, 2021 Report Share Posted April 18, 2021 21 hours ago, BreezeCauthon said: Avengers: Endgame Reveal hidden contents Reveal hidden contents Several years after a purple monster killed half the population, a ragtag group of heroes who've lost everyone must bring back the world by gathering the magical stones. What? Plagiarism? Who, me? What? Endgame? That isn't Endgame! 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mystic Syn Posted April 20, 2021 Report Share Posted April 20, 2021 (edited) Alright, alright, alright. It seems that people liked my Star Wars thing, so of course, I'm going to do something else. I'm doing Disney, but like the movies you think of when someone says "Disney" and that I've seen. There's going to be no Pixar movies, because that's for another time. I'll make the exception of having a few sequels in the thingy, since I've seen some of them and want to poke fun at them. If the movies you like aren't here, I'm sorry. All of the Mostly Famous Animated Disney Movies That I've Seen and Can Remember They're All In Film Release Order Snow White and the Seven Dwarves Spoiler Beautiful single lady moves in with seven short single men after an ex-employer orders a hit on her Pinocchio Spoiler Puppet comes to life after a cricket wishes on a star, then the living puppet joins a show with dead puppets while trying to get to school. After someone tried to permanently hire him to the show without his consent; after which he gets scammed by a fox, almost gets turned into a donkey, gets swallowed by a whale, and turned into a real boi after being vomited out of the belly of the whale Dumbo (1941) Spoiler Elephant gets teased for his deformities; gets drunk and becomes a circus star Cinderella (1950) Spoiler Prince marries servant girl after finding her shoe Alice in Wonderland (1951) Spoiler Child experiences a fever dream for an hour and nine minutes Peter Pan Spoiler Fairy tries to murder a minor while children fight a pirate crew Sleeping Beauty Spoiler Horned green lady curses child because she wasn't invited to the baby shower 101 Dalmatians (1961) Spoiler Psychotic lady tries to kill puppies for their fur coats The Jungle Book (1967) Spoiler Unsupervised child in red underwear wanders the jungle for an hour and twenty-nine minutes Robin Hood (1973) Spoiler Disney awakens the furry within you through robbery and jail-breaking The Great Mouse Detective Spoiler Sher-mouse Holmes. That's it. That's the plot The Little Mermaid (1989) Spoiler Kleptomaniac attains legs to kiss her crush Beauty and the Beast (1991) Spoiler Big bear thing develops Lima syndrome, eventually turns human Aladdin (1992) Spoiler Homeless, street boi finds a flying piece of decoration and Robins Williams; and through lying and deceiving, gets the girl The Lion King (1994) Spoiler It's Shakespeare's Hamlet, but with lions and musical numbers Pocahontas Spoiler Two groups of people go to war because of racism The Hunchback of Notre Dame Spoiler Priest lusts for a gypsy, but God said, "No." Hercules Spoiler God of Death wants a pay raise, does that by trying to murder his brother's child Mulan (1998) Spoiler Woman dresses in drag so she can die instead of her father; ends up saving the nation The Emperor's New Groove Spoiler Centuries-old woman obtains the emperor's throne by turning her former employer into a llama, who goes on a comical road trip with the best character redemption story that Disney's ever produced fight me Atlantis: The Last Empire Spoiler Daniel Jackson discovers a mythological city is more technologically advanced than we are Lilo and Stitch Spoiler Depressed child's wish comes true through a genetically enhanced alien Treasure Planet Spoiler Sci-fi take on Treasure Island Atlantis: Milo's Return Spoiler Daniel Jackson is back with a crappy overarching storyline and character arcs Brother Bear Spoiler Mother Nature punishes man for being mean by turning him into a bear The Lion King 1 1/2 Spoiler Ham-lion: Exclusive Behind The Scenes Mickey, Donald, Goofy: The Three Musketeers missed opportunity name it the "Mouseketeers" >.> Spoiler Classical pieces are given lyrics, also side note: Pete tries to take over France Kronk's New Groove Spoiler "Hey! You remember that dumb, but extremely likable character from the first movie? How 'bout we give him an unnecessary backstory, for no reason whatsoever?" Brother Bear 2 Spoiler To quote JelloApocalypse: "Man loses the love of his life to a bear!!!" Meet the Robinsons Spoiler Family drama, but with time travel and an evil hat Cinderella III: A Twist in Time yes, I saw this movie and not the second Spoiler This explains the film better than what I could say https://youtu.be/KzfomITpXfM The Little Mermaid: Ariel's Beginning Spoiler Reference the movie Footloose, but with water and musical numbers Bolt Spoiler Hollywood star learns of stunt doubles The Princess and the Frog Spoiler Prince makes a deal with a voodoo man to get money and turns into a frog; falls in love with waitress instead Tangled Spoiler Reclusive extrovert experiences the world with the lizard, a world-renowned thief, and a horse Wreck-It Ralph Spoiler "Okay, but what if video games had feelings?" Planes Spoiler Pixar's Cars, but in the sky and Farmboi Plane has a fear of heights Frozen Spoiler Ice Witch runs from home to the mountains to be alone, but Optimistic Sister encounters Frosty the Snowman, Sven, and Sven and forces her to come home anyway Big Hero 6 Spoiler Overachieving Anime Boi inherits a nurse robot, then immediately turns it into a killing machine Zootopia Spoiler It's a BUNNY-cop movie :DD Get it? 'Cause it's a buddy-cop movie Moana Spoiler A Disney princess teams up with The Boulder to fight a god that needs therapy Ralph Wrecks Breaks the Internet Spoiler Pixel Hulk fear abandonment and crashes the whole internet Frozen II Spoiler Ice Witch, Optimistic Sister, Sven and Sven, and Frosty the Snowman uncover the Mystery of the Haunted Woods™ I'll edit this when/if I see Raya and the Last Dragon :pp Edited April 20, 2021 by Mystic Syn 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Personification Posted April 20, 2021 Report Share Posted April 20, 2021 Raya and the Last Dragon: Option 1 (weird Magic: the Gathering reference): Spoiler Someone REALLY wanted to rewrite the Fate Reforged and Dragons of Tarkir storylines, but they kept the Khans of Tarkir parts. Honestly, I don't blame them. Option 2: Spoiler Disney's best attempt at Mad Max Option 3: Spoiler Con-baby OP. Please nerf. Option 4: Spoiler Terrible trigger discipline causes an ultra-religious woman to accidentally kill her god. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AonEne Posted April 21, 2021 Report Share Posted April 21, 2021 "Sven and Sven" is one of the best things I've read all day. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Draginon Posted April 27, 2021 Report Share Posted April 27, 2021 I’m watching a Fellini film and realized simplifying the plot so far sounds like another film of his: Spoiler An Italian man and his encounters with a bunch of women. Now try to figure out if I’m talking about La Dolce Vita or 8 1/2 (or 9 the musical) 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chinkoln Posted April 30, 2021 Report Share Posted April 30, 2021 Way of Kings Spoiler Depressed boy tells his story Words of Radiance Spoiler Schizophrenic girl tells her story Oathbringer Spoiler Man with anger issues develops self doubt, then tells his story 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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