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Explain a Plot Badly


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Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone

Spoiler

Young boy's professor works for the back of his own head.

Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets

Spoiler

Slightly less young boy talks to a spider, stabs a snake, and gets cried on by a bird. 

Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban

Spoiler

Not-so-young boy's godfather isn't a murderer.

Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire

Spoiler

Boy accidentally enters a magical tournament

Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix

Spoiler

Very not-young old boy teaches everyone because their professor won't

Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince

Spoiler

Slightly old boy watches his headmaster drink something

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows

Spoiler

Now a legal adult quits school

Harry Potter and the Cursed Child

Spoiler

New young boy argues with his dad

 

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22 minutes ago, More Cynical Than Funny said:

Thanks! @Condensation Have some more

Doctor Who

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Magic man kidnaps dozens of people, traps them inside of a blue box and goes on adventures.

Calamity:

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Leader of an assassin guild goes insane and starts killing people

Lord of The Rings

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Homeless guy goes on a quest to throw away some stolen jewelry

 

 

Again, these made me laugh so hard. I've got one!

My Life Right Now:

Spoiler

Teenage girl tries to resist temptation to read the preview chapters while spending way too much time accruing imaginary internet points she calls 'reputation'.

 

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Halo CE

Spoiler

Man lands on a Donut in space and witnesses the accidental release of Space Popcorn Zombies before blowing the Donut up.

Halo 2

Spoiler

Man finds the Space Donut's brother, refrains from blowing that one up, barely. Alien has feelings and is a failure. A Space Popcorn Zombie Plant Monster makes the man and the Alien work together to disprove a religion that's more than 2000 years old.

Halo 3

Spoiler

Everyone gets together and blows up an unfinished Donut, which then kills a religious leader and the Space Popcorn Zombie Plant Monster, as well as all of the rest of the Space popcorn Zombies. 

Quote

First time trying to poorly explain a plot, so you're welcome.

 

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The Hercule Poirot books I've read so far (be warned, there are obviously spoilers):

(Also for those who were wondering I've been on vacation and so haven't been posting)

The Mysterious Affair at Styles

Spoiler

Everybody suspects gold digger husband of murdering wife, turns out to be right

 The Murder on the Links

Spoiler

Poirot solves a case, but we're mostly here for Hasting's romance

The Murder of Roger Ackroyd

Spoiler

Man kills another man, manages to write a whole book about it without revealing the fact

The Big Four

Spoiler

Poirot is secretly James Bond's nice Belgian uncle

The Mystery of the Blue Train

Spoiler

In which Agatha Christie begins her pattern of ruining perfectly nice couples by having one of them turn out to be the murderer

Peril at End House

Spoiler

Woman, clearly drawing inspiration from The Murder of Roger Ackroyd, fakes assassination attempts on herself and has Poirot investigate it

Lord Edgware Dies

Spoiler

Actress hires woman to go to a party on her behalf so she can bump off her husband

Murder on the Orient Express

Spoiler

Poirot gets lied to by literally every single witness, still manages to solve case

Three Act Tragedy

Spoiler

Some other guy, with the help of the criminal (who probably read The Murder of Roger Ackroyd), does nearly all the work for Poirot, who then gets nearly all the credit

Death in the Clouds

Spoiler

Dentist frames a blowgun-toting Poirot for his crime

 

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  • 2 weeks later...
On 11/27/2020 at 8:27 AM, More Cynical Than Funny said:

How about this?

Twilight Saga

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Small child falls in love with immortals guy. He forces her to marry him. Girl falls in love with anather guy. first guy becomes overprotective. She marries the first guy.

 

I...would not say that is accurate, no :P the last two sentences are the only ones with truth.

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2 hours ago, More Cynical Than Funny said:

Okay small teenager.  But the comparison. Edward is what? 103 or so and Bella is 18 in the last book so he is 5.72 times her age. :blink:

Yeah, by age comparison it's accurate. 

Spoiler

Also, he did force her to marry him, didn't he? Of course, that was more on Bella since that came from her insistence but shhh, being vague is the fun of this thread. 

 

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He does not. She wants to have sex with him. He's not willing to do that until they're married. That is not extortion. (I'll go into this more in an essay I'm working on, but this is what that part boils down to.)

 

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41 minutes ago, Mystic Syn said:

Jedi: Fallen Order

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Religious, indoctrinated red-head orphan finds little robot and goes on a space time adventure fun time, then gets beat up by a disabled war veteran.

 

Isn't this also the combined plots of A New Hope and Empire (if you replaced redhead with blond)? Both Yoda and Vader could be described as disabled vets who beat up Luke.

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7 minutes ago, Ookla Personified said:

Isn't this also the combined plots of A New Hope and Empire (if you replaced redhead with blond)? Both Yoda and Vader could be described as disabled vets who beat up Luke.

It said to explain plot poorly, and apparently my job too well on dumbing it down too much.

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I recently became a weeb (or something?? If you understand the lingo please enlighten me), so, uh, here's a thing.

Fate/Stay Night:

Spoiler

A young man with magic powers gets his friends involved in a death battle-turned-romcom and falls in love with a woman who's literally centuries old.

Or even more simply,

Spoiler

More teenagers getting involved with things they shouldn't be entrusted with.

 

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2 hours ago, Brightness Warrior said:

I recently became a weeb (or something?? If you understand the lingo please enlighten me), so, uh, here's a thing.

Fate/Stay Night:

  Hide contents

A young man with magic powers gets his friends involved in a death battle-turned-romcom and falls in love with a woman who's literally centuries old.

Or even more simply,

  Hide contents

More teenagers getting involved with things they shouldn't be entrusted with.

 

The second one describes every shonen, really. And don't worry about the words too much, as it stands weeb is used for anything from "Healthily enjoys one or two shows" to "Manga/anime is their entire life and thinks Japan is the only place worth living in on Earth, while mistakingly believing their life will turn into a slice-of-life if they move there" 

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On 11/13/2020 at 8:43 AM, More Cynical Than Funny said:

Lord of The Rings

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Homeless guy goes on a quest to throw away some stolen jewelry

 

*Sigh*

I try not to discourage the Study of the Author who currently stands as the pinnacle of Fantasy, but please have your facts straight Frodo is not Homeless.

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4 minutes ago, Ookla the Grammatical said:

2020

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Crazy disease that actually started in 2019 causes everyone to hide in their house and wear fabric over their faces. Of course, that's after the giant shortages on rolled paper and clear cut-finding goop.

 

That's the first four months.

2020: part two

Spoiler

Near-spontaneous combustion, on many levels.

 

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1 minute ago, Spren of Kindness said:

That's the first four months.

2020: part two

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Near-spontaneous combustion, on many levels.

 

Ah yes, you have to love the spontaneous combustion. :P

2021

Spoiler

We can't go any farther down, we've already hit rock bottom... right?

 

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