Kinnsayyy

Explain a Plot Badly

930 posts in this topic

Sixth of the Dusk

Spoiler

A group of advanced aliens is unable to easily conquer a bunch of seafaring primitives because of business regulations on a world where thinking is dangerous and can get you killed. Also, a guy sees his own dead body everywhere he goes because of a magic bird that's not supposed to be a magic bird.

Shadows for Silence

Spoiler

An old lady makes a living for her family by savagely killing dangerous criminals at night.

Edgedancer

Spoiler

A little girl goes to an upside-down city to hunt down a crazy police officer and pancakes.

Secret History

Spoiler

A heroic psychopath punches two gods in the face after he dies.

The Emperor's Soul

Spoiler

The fate of an empire rests in the hands of a con artist.

Allomancer Jak and the Pits of Eltania

Spoiler

An editor complains about all the flaws in a grossly exaggerated but somehow true story.

Elantris

Spoiler

A bunch of godlike beings turn into zombies and are stuck like that for ten years because they don't know how to draw an extra line on their magic symbols.

Mistborn: The Final Empire

Spoiler

see The Emperor's Soul

The Hero of Ages

Spoiler

A depressed atheist becomes God.

 

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Original Dune Series

Spoiler

A group of women who do secret Eugenics program to rule the universe and end up screwing themselves and everyone else, then try to make up for it for the next few millennia

Expanded Dune Series

Spoiler

don't die and let your son partner with Kevin J Anderson

or 

Spoiler

if you die... hire Brandon Sanderson to finish your works

 

Firefly

Spoiler

Manchild and friends play Cowboys and Zombies in space - is then canceled to early

 

The Emperor's Soul

Spoiler

A highly talented 'criminal' is more ethical and does more for the betterment of her country than the 'legal' politicians who call her criminal.

 

Edited by Chinsukolo
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On 17/05/2017 at 5:29 PM, Andy92 said:

Stormlight Archive

  Hide contents

The world is ending because nine guys stabbed a rock. 

 

Pretty sure one of them is a chick

The Lightweaver I think

Edited by Did Someone Say Kill Evil?
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2 hours ago, Did Someone Say Kill Evil? said:

Pretty sure one of them is a chick

The Lightweaver I think

The Heralds are five men and five women, the women are the patrons of the Lightweavers (Shalash), Elsecallers (Battar), Edgedancers (Vedel), Truthwathcers (Paliah), Dustbringers (Chana). 

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2 minutes ago, WhiteLeeopard said:

The Heralds are five men and five women, the women are the patrons of the Lightweavers (Shalash), Elsecallers (Battar), Edgedancers (Vedel), Truthwathcers (Paliah), Dustbringers (Chana). 

So the world is ending because 5 chick's and 4 guys stabbed a rock

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@Did Someone Say Kill Evil? You can use the masculine plural when there's a mix of male and female...grammatically speaking. 

 

Edited by Andy92
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Emperor's Soul:

Spoiler

A woman's art forgery goes so well, they name it 'Emperor', then the government tries to add her skeleton to their personal collection.

Alloy of Law:

Spoiler

Cowboy Magneto is recruited by the Gotham to take down his ex-best friend, Crowley.

Shadows of Self:

Spoiler

Immortal shape-shifters and God have Cowboy Magneto kill his wife a second time. 

Bands of Mourning:

Spoiler

His wife wasn't enough. Cowboy Magneto's thirst for family blood strengthens as he attempts to kill his sister and uncle as well. Instead he dies, and is brought back to life by God so he can get married.

 

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Harry Potter Series

Spoiler

Whole story based off the fact that the villain thought "Harry Potter" was a better nemesis name than "Neville Longbottom".

 

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SA szeth

Spoiler

Aang kills people with a magic sword because some dude has a rock. He dies but doesn't

 

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Shallan WOK

Spoiler

A girl spends too long trying to steal something shinty and nearly dies.

Eshonai

Spoiler

A soldier has to convince everyone not to use nuke like weapons, and fails miserably. 

 Hoid (WOK)

Spoiler

A magical old guy travels the world insulting everyone.

WOK in General
 

Spoiler

People wait too long to do stuff and nearly die because of their procrastination.

 

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King Killer Chronicle

No kings die. Dude tells a story to another dude. 

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Kingkiller Chronicles

A man takes 20 years to write a story about a man who needs 12 hours to prepare a story that takes 48 hours to tell and 500 hours to read.

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This thread:

People think way too much about how to make it look like they aren't thinking enough in a futile attempt to get people to like them

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Doctor Who:

Old young dude does a Wibbly-wobbly-timey-wimey with a screwdriver and a box

Edited by Shqueeves
Dude is gender-neutral, cause we're geting a woman doctor
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12 hours ago, Shqueeves said:

Doctor Who:

Old young guy does a Wibbly-wobbly-timey-wimey with a screwdriver and a box

Correction! Old young woman! HECK YEAH THIRTEEN HERE WE COME. (I'm excited what can I say)

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Harry Potter:

Spoiler

bk1

Spoiler

A 'great wizard' (read as incompetent celebrity) takes the credit for making his friends do all the work, then petrifies Two-Face.

bk2

Spoiler

A really old bird and Gollum save an incompetent celebrity and his future wife.

bk3

Spoiler

An incompetent celebrity's dogfather decides chewing legs is more important than saving his godson from a rat.

bk4

Spoiler

A changeling enters an incompetent celebrity into a tournament he doesn't qualify for and engineers his victory, increasing his notoriety, all to get him to touch a cup he could have called him to his office to touch.

bk5

Spoiler

A now less incompetent celebrity starts an armed cult to fight another cult. The pansies in the government looks the other way.

bk6

Spoiler

The leader of the cult started by the less incompetent celebrity dies in order to make the other cult's leader kill the guy who liked the celebrity's mom and to give one of the opposing cultists a stick on the off chance the celebrity would take it back. (I feel like this needs to be reworded for clarity.)

bk7

Spoiler

The less incompetent celebrity goes into seclusion to hide from the other cult, who now have government support. The celebrity goes back to his cult's home base to use illegal/evil magic, commit arson, and murder the other cult's leader. The cults get in a bar fight over their sacred rock, stick, and rag.

You may guess I don't really like Harry Potter from those bad explanations. You would be right.

Sword of Shannara Series

Spoiler

A series of quests to get really angry fighting nothing. Also, there is an old dude that only gets more crotchety and harder to talk to as time goes on.

Kingkiller Chronicle

Spoiler

Gary Sue whines about why he has suffered more than anyone, so he should be left alone. His cat tries to get him to grow a spine.

WoK

Spoiler

A warlord decides killing isn't enough fun any more so he tries manipulation instead. Listening to the voices in his head makes him give up his lightsaber for enough credits to buy some slaves.

A sarcastic girl who euthanized her parents tries to cope with reality by embezzling her boss.

A grumpy dude decides not to poison himself. Twice. Then he hides behind corpses to keep from getting shot. His pithy one-liner saves everyone.

A god-king ritually sacrifices people in his basement.

Elantris

Spoiler

Circumstances have changed so we should change our objective. Again. A heretic who has destroyed nations saves one instead.

Warbreaker

Spoiler

A bunch of zombies politick. A couple of humans incidentally end up being important too.

I think some people don't fully understand the point of these. It's isn't supposed to just be a one or two line summary, it also needs to be seriously misinformative without strictly lying. The OP definitely had the best ones so far.

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I don't have good ones for the rest of the series, but here's Firefight:

Spoiler

The fate of New York City (and quite possibly the world) hangs in the balance of a strategic dispute between a stubborn old man who thinks he knows everything and a stubborn young man who thinks he knows everything.

 

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Lord of the Ring 

Spoiler

The world almost ended because some guy forgot to buy a backup engagement ring. 

 

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Alcatraz Versus the Evil Librarians

Spoiler

I infiltrate a library to steal back a bag of sand because my grandpa was late.

 

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7 hours ago, Draginon said:

Alcatraz Versus the Evil Librarians

  Hide contents

I infiltrate a library to steal back a bag of sand because my grandpa was late.

But... that's a very accurate description! The purpose of the thread is to explain plot badly, noty excellently!

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35 minutes ago, Oversleep said:

But... that's a very accurate description! The purpose of the thread is to explain plot badly, noty excellently!

But it doesn't give context! If someone came along and read that they'd wonder "Why break into a library to steal some sand?! And does his grandpa being late have to do with this? Is he a thief?" so it explains the plot badly, but accurately.

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This group is going to be one big joke:

WOT

Spoiler

Man takes 15 years to write 12 books and dies trying

Game of Thrones

Spoiler

Man takes 20+ years to write 7 books

Kingkiller Chronicles

Spoiler

Man takes a decade to write 3 books

Lord of the Rings

Spoiler

Man takes 17 years to write one book

If you get the joke you get a cookie!

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On 5/16/2017 at 2:57 PM, Kinnsayyy said:

The Final Empire:

  Hide contents

A serial killer breaks out of prison, kidnaps a little homeless girl, then starts a cult. 

 

 

That's an improvement. :)

The Kingkiller Chronicles: A boy wants to get into a library and read, but he can't. Later on he buys a shirt.

Edited by C. M. Hayden
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What Happened In Portland

Spoiler

A teacher, a creep, and an insane woman obsessed with sparkles gets into a fight with two other exclusive clubs. And then nighthound died.

What happened in Dalles

Spoiler

A guy named after two riffles shoots the man in charge of the city. His friends take over and attempt to fight several gangs. 

What happened in corvallis

Spoiler

A drug dealer is kidnapped by a figure from her past. The city, all addicts, goes insane. 

What happened in astoria

Spoiler

A bunch of people with superpowers get tired of listening to another person with superpowers whine.

What happened in salem

Spoiler

People fight in their dreams. 

 

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