Borio Singaldi Posted July 6, 2017 Report Share Posted July 6, 2017 Sixth of the Dusk Spoiler A group of advanced aliens is unable to easily conquer a bunch of seafaring primitives because of business regulations on a world where thinking is dangerous and can get you killed. Also, a guy sees his own dead body everywhere he goes because of a magic bird that's not supposed to be a magic bird. Shadows for Silence Spoiler An old lady makes a living for her family by savagely killing dangerous criminals at night. Edgedancer Spoiler A little girl goes to an upside-down city to hunt down a crazy police officer and pancakes. Secret History Spoiler A heroic psychopath punches two gods in the face after he dies. The Emperor's Soul Spoiler The fate of an empire rests in the hands of a con artist. Allomancer Jak and the Pits of Eltania Spoiler An editor complains about all the flaws in a grossly exaggerated but somehow true story. Elantris Spoiler A bunch of godlike beings turn into zombies and are stuck like that for ten years because they don't know how to draw an extra line on their magic symbols. Mistborn: The Final Empire Spoiler see The Emperor's Soul The Hero of Ages Spoiler A depressed atheist becomes God. 11 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chinsukolo Posted July 6, 2017 Report Share Posted July 6, 2017 (edited) Original Dune Series Spoiler A group of women who do secret Eugenics program to rule the universe and end up screwing themselves and everyone else, then try to make up for it for the next few millennia Expanded Dune Series Spoiler don't die and let your son partner with Kevin J Anderson or Spoiler if you die... hire Brandon Sanderson to finish your works Firefly Spoiler Manchild and friends play Cowboys and Zombies in space - is then canceled to early The Emperor's Soul Spoiler A highly talented 'criminal' is more ethical and does more for the betterment of her country than the 'legal' politicians who call her criminal. Edited July 6, 2017 by Chinsukolo 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Did Someone Say Kill Evil? Posted July 6, 2017 Report Share Posted July 6, 2017 (edited) On 17/05/2017 at 5:29 PM, Andy92 said: Stormlight Archive Hide contents The world is ending because nine guys stabbed a rock. Pretty sure one of them is a chick The Lightweaver I think Edited July 6, 2017 by Did Someone Say Kill Evil? 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WhiteLeeopard Posted July 6, 2017 Report Share Posted July 6, 2017 2 hours ago, Did Someone Say Kill Evil? said: Pretty sure one of them is a chick The Lightweaver I think The Heralds are five men and five women, the women are the patrons of the Lightweavers (Shalash), Elsecallers (Battar), Edgedancers (Vedel), Truthwathcers (Paliah), Dustbringers (Chana). 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Did Someone Say Kill Evil? Posted July 6, 2017 Report Share Posted July 6, 2017 2 minutes ago, WhiteLeeopard said: The Heralds are five men and five women, the women are the patrons of the Lightweavers (Shalash), Elsecallers (Battar), Edgedancers (Vedel), Truthwathcers (Paliah), Dustbringers (Chana). So the world is ending because 5 chick's and 4 guys stabbed a rock 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Andy92 Posted July 6, 2017 Report Share Posted July 6, 2017 (edited) @Did Someone Say Kill Evil? You can use the masculine plural when there's a mix of male and female...grammatically speaking. Edited July 6, 2017 by Andy92 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Khyrindor Posted July 6, 2017 Report Share Posted July 6, 2017 Emperor's Soul: Spoiler A woman's art forgery goes so well, they name it 'Emperor', then the government tries to add her skeleton to their personal collection. Alloy of Law: Spoiler Cowboy Magneto is recruited by the Gotham to take down his ex-best friend, Crowley. Shadows of Self: Spoiler Immortal shape-shifters and God have Cowboy Magneto kill his wife a second time. Bands of Mourning: Spoiler His wife wasn't enough. Cowboy Magneto's thirst for family blood strengthens as he attempts to kill his sister and uncle as well. Instead he dies, and is brought back to life by God so he can get married. 12 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ryshadium90 Posted July 7, 2017 Report Share Posted July 7, 2017 Harry Potter Series Spoiler Whole story based off the fact that the villain thought "Harry Potter" was a better nemesis name than "Neville Longbottom". 14 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Did Someone Say Kill Evil? Posted July 7, 2017 Report Share Posted July 7, 2017 18 hours ago, Andy92 said: @Did Someone Say Kill Evil? You can use the masculine plural when there's a mix of male and female...grammatically speaking. The more you know 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shqueeves Posted July 11, 2017 Report Share Posted July 11, 2017 SA szeth Spoiler Aang kills people with a magic sword because some dude has a rock. He dies but doesn't 8 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
the winter system Posted July 13, 2017 Report Share Posted July 13, 2017 Shallan WOK Spoiler A girl spends too long trying to steal something shinty and nearly dies. Eshonai Spoiler A soldier has to convince everyone not to use nuke like weapons, and fails miserably. Hoid (WOK) Spoiler A magical old guy travels the world insulting everyone. WOK in General Spoiler People wait too long to do stuff and nearly die because of their procrastination. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kered Posted July 14, 2017 Report Share Posted July 14, 2017 King Killer Chronicle No kings die. Dude tells a story to another dude. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
+Extesian Posted July 14, 2017 Report Share Posted July 14, 2017 Kingkiller Chronicles A man takes 20 years to write a story about a man who needs 12 hours to prepare a story that takes 48 hours to tell and 500 hours to read. 7 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jonathon Posted July 17, 2017 Report Share Posted July 17, 2017 This thread: People think way too much about how to make it look like they aren't thinking enough in a futile attempt to get people to like them 7 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shqueeves Posted July 17, 2017 Report Share Posted July 17, 2017 (edited) Doctor Who: Old young dude does a Wibbly-wobbly-timey-wimey with a screwdriver and a box Edited July 17, 2017 by Shqueeves Dude is gender-neutral, cause we're geting a woman doctor 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
the winter system Posted July 17, 2017 Report Share Posted July 17, 2017 12 hours ago, Shqueeves said: Doctor Who: Old young guy does a Wibbly-wobbly-timey-wimey with a screwdriver and a box Correction! Old young woman! HECK YEAH THIRTEEN HERE WE COME. (I'm excited what can I say) 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Djarskublar Posted July 18, 2017 Report Share Posted July 18, 2017 Harry Potter: Spoiler bk1 Spoiler A 'great wizard' (read as incompetent celebrity) takes the credit for making his friends do all the work, then petrifies Two-Face. bk2 Spoiler A really old bird and Gollum save an incompetent celebrity and his future wife. bk3 Spoiler An incompetent celebrity's dogfather decides chewing legs is more important than saving his godson from a rat. bk4 Spoiler A changeling enters an incompetent celebrity into a tournament he doesn't qualify for and engineers his victory, increasing his notoriety, all to get him to touch a cup he could have called him to his office to touch. bk5 Spoiler A now less incompetent celebrity starts an armed cult to fight another cult. The pansies in the government looks the other way. bk6 Spoiler The leader of the cult started by the less incompetent celebrity dies in order to make the other cult's leader kill the guy who liked the celebrity's mom and to give one of the opposing cultists a stick on the off chance the celebrity would take it back. (I feel like this needs to be reworded for clarity.) bk7 Spoiler The less incompetent celebrity goes into seclusion to hide from the other cult, who now have government support. The celebrity goes back to his cult's home base to use illegal/evil magic, commit arson, and murder the other cult's leader. The cults get in a bar fight over their sacred rock, stick, and rag. You may guess I don't really like Harry Potter from those bad explanations. You would be right. Sword of Shannara Series Spoiler A series of quests to get really angry fighting nothing. Also, there is an old dude that only gets more crotchety and harder to talk to as time goes on. Kingkiller Chronicle Spoiler Gary Sue whines about why he has suffered more than anyone, so he should be left alone. His cat tries to get him to grow a spine. WoK Spoiler A warlord decides killing isn't enough fun any more so he tries manipulation instead. Listening to the voices in his head makes him give up his lightsaber for enough credits to buy some slaves. A sarcastic girl who euthanized her parents tries to cope with reality by embezzling her boss. A grumpy dude decides not to poison himself. Twice. Then he hides behind corpses to keep from getting shot. His pithy one-liner saves everyone. A god-king ritually sacrifices people in his basement. Elantris Spoiler Circumstances have changed so we should change our objective. Again. A heretic who has destroyed nations saves one instead. Warbreaker Spoiler A bunch of zombies politick. A couple of humans incidentally end up being important too. I think some people don't fully understand the point of these. It's isn't supposed to just be a one or two line summary, it also needs to be seriously misinformative without strictly lying. The OP definitely had the best ones so far. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheKittyOfAtlantis Posted July 18, 2017 Report Share Posted July 18, 2017 I don't have good ones for the rest of the series, but here's Firefight: Spoiler The fate of New York City (and quite possibly the world) hangs in the balance of a strategic dispute between a stubborn old man who thinks he knows everything and a stubborn young man who thinks he knows everything. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zennix Posted July 18, 2017 Report Share Posted July 18, 2017 Lord of the Ring Spoiler The world almost ended because some guy forgot to buy a backup engagement ring. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Draginon Posted July 19, 2017 Report Share Posted July 19, 2017 Alcatraz Versus the Evil Librarians Spoiler I infiltrate a library to steal back a bag of sand because my grandpa was late. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Oversleep Posted July 20, 2017 Report Share Posted July 20, 2017 7 hours ago, Draginon said: Alcatraz Versus the Evil Librarians Hide contents I infiltrate a library to steal back a bag of sand because my grandpa was late. But... that's a very accurate description! The purpose of the thread is to explain plot badly, noty excellently! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Draginon Posted July 20, 2017 Report Share Posted July 20, 2017 35 minutes ago, Oversleep said: But... that's a very accurate description! The purpose of the thread is to explain plot badly, noty excellently! But it doesn't give context! If someone came along and read that they'd wonder "Why break into a library to steal some sand?! And does his grandpa being late have to do with this? Is he a thief?" so it explains the plot badly, but accurately. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Draginon Posted July 20, 2017 Report Share Posted July 20, 2017 This group is going to be one big joke: WOT Spoiler Man takes 15 years to write 12 books and dies trying Game of Thrones Spoiler Man takes 20+ years to write 7 books Kingkiller Chronicles Spoiler Man takes a decade to write 3 books Lord of the Rings Spoiler Man takes 17 years to write one book If you get the joke you get a cookie! 7 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
C. M. Hayden Posted July 20, 2017 Report Share Posted July 20, 2017 (edited) On 5/16/2017 at 2:57 PM, Kinnsayyy said: The Final Empire: Hide contents A serial killer breaks out of prison, kidnaps a little homeless girl, then starts a cult. That's an improvement. The Kingkiller Chronicles: A boy wants to get into a library and read, but he can't. Later on he buys a shirt. Edited July 20, 2017 by C. M. Hayden 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
the winter system Posted July 20, 2017 Report Share Posted July 20, 2017 What Happened In Portland Spoiler A teacher, a creep, and an insane woman obsessed with sparkles gets into a fight with two other exclusive clubs. And then nighthound died. What happened in Dalles Spoiler A guy named after two riffles shoots the man in charge of the city. His friends take over and attempt to fight several gangs. What happened in corvallis Spoiler A drug dealer is kidnapped by a figure from her past. The city, all addicts, goes insane. What happened in astoria Spoiler A bunch of people with superpowers get tired of listening to another person with superpowers whine. What happened in salem Spoiler People fight in their dreams. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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