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Explain a Plot Badly


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The thief of always

Spoiler

My life

 

The name of the wind

Spoiler

How a kid with PTSD, grows up to ruin his life while trying to make it better...

So I guess this one's also my life

 

A spell for chameleon

Spoiler

This guy spends a bunch of time trying to get over the fact that his girlfriend is super ugly and stupid... But also somehow pretty and smart????

Oh, and he also goes on a life-changing adventure and finds his true self, and blah blah blah...

 

The Poison Wood Bible 

Spoiler

Tears... Just tears

 

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Hoid (in general):

Spoiler

A food enthusiast goes on a quest to introduce waffles and instant noodles to the universe.

 

Allomancer Jak:

Spoiler

An aspiring adventurer has an ego that's almost as bottomless as the pits he constantly falls into.

One of those pits is a lack of grammatical knowledge, as pointed out by Handerwyrm.

 

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Mistborn Secret history:

Spoiler

Dead guy uses the power of Fuzz to stop an evil god.

Allomancer Jak (From Jak's perspective):

 

An amazingly talented person escapes from a Koloss prison surrounded by a Koloss army, then as a token as good faith retrieved an ancient kol!oss* artifact°.

 

*I give up.

°Funny how he doesn't mention that the koloss artifact was stored in a solid aluminum box.

 

Edited by Ishar
Fixed spoiler stuff.
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56 minutes ago, ethan sedai said:

sounds like something lift would do...

With Lift’s expertise in food and Hoid’s worldhopping abilities, they’d be unstoppable... I can see it now: Hoid and Lift’s Epic Culinary Road Trip (Cosmere Edition)

Edited by Ashspren
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12 minutes ago, Ashspren said:

With Lift’s expertise in food and Hoid’s worldhopping abilities, they’d be unstoppable... I can see it now: Hoid and Lift’s Epic Culinary Road Trip (Cosmere Edition)

Yes please! we'll show it on the Cosmere Food Network!

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The Final Empire

Spoiler

Big shot gangster putting together a crew

The Stormlight Archive

Spoiler

An awesome series where everyone's brother but Shallan dies, everyone's parents except Kaladin dies, and probably more than 50% of the people who have known the Blackthorn have died, and most characters are mass murders/killers and or serial killers. This is a series known for its generally lighter tone and uplifting, inspiring message. 

 

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1 hour ago, Zath said:

The Emperor's Soul: 

  Hide contents

Brandon writes a story that's really just him trying to tell everyone how stressful it can be to write a book on a deadline.  Everyone loves the story and demands more quality books from him ASAP.  Brandon cries. 

 

I think that this might literally be the best one of these I've read yet. Or at LEAST in the top five. I bow down to your skill.

Edited by AonEne
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Mistborn Era 1:

 

Spoiler

Fake news almost destroys the world

Warbreaker:

Spoiler

An immensely powerful deity almost causes mass destruction due to his lack of tongue game

Elantris:

Spoiler

A man saves an entire race by doing the Naruto run with a stick in his hand

Secret History:

Spoiler

Brandon writes fanservice for Realmatic theorists

 

Edited by The Harlem Worldhoppers
Added a few more books, changed a slightly inappropriate word
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On 6/29/2018 at 7:58 AM, The Harlem Worldhoppers said:

Secret History:

  Hide contents

Brandon writes porn fanservice for Realmatic theorists

 

One, that's not appropriate, and two, I don't quite understand how that applies to SH at all.

Edited by AonEne
The quoted person changed it
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21 hours ago, AonEne said:

I think that this might literally be the best one of these I've read yet. Or at LEAST in the top five. I bow down to your skill.

 2d5itz.jpg
Thank you! :D

Building off of some that have gone before...

Mistborn: The Well of Ascension (and The Hero of Ages): 

Spoiler

This could have all been avoided if somebody (cough, cough -- Kwann -- cough, cough) had written a PROPER THESIS STATEMENT!!

 

Edited by Zath
Added bashful otter meme, because why not?
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