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Sanderson is the answer to everything


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In a short period of time, I quoted Lirin when talking about morality, I described perfect state when talking of the potential end results of the increasing digitalization, I summed up Lift's story to try to persuade a child that she has to grow up, and I suggested the way of kings to a guy with depression. 

All this got me thinking: Sanderson is the answer. No matter the question.

So I decided to start a game. I will name a problem. someone else must answer with a way in which that problem can be solved by using something from brandon, then propose a new problem. So an example from above could be "problem: your baby cousin doesn't want to be responsible. Answer: tell her how lift almost got killed for it, and to survive she had to become responsible anyway".

The answer doesn't have to be realistic (in fact, the more ludicrous, the more fun), but it does have to be at least theoretically feasible. So for example to "problem: send a rocket into orbit" "answer: steelpush it" is not a good answer, because brandon's books do not make allomancy real. "answer: put all sanderson's books printed so far into a big pile, and you can climb it all the way to orbit" is a good one.

so let's start and see where it will go.

problem: global warming

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6 minutes ago, king of nowhere said:

problem: global warming

Make the ashmounts explode? I think we have enough nuclear bombs to explode some volcanoes. The ash in atmosphere will cool Earth down.

do we wait for some acceptance of the answer or just post the problem regardless of whether the answer is good?

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27 minutes ago, Oversleep said:

Make the ashmounts explode? I think we have enough nuclear bombs to explode some volcanoes. The ash in atmosphere will cool Earth down.

do we wait for some acceptance of the answer or just post the problem regardless of whether the answer is good?

just go ahead and pose a new problem. I put that "rule" about acceptable answers to specify that it was meant to be "in-real-world" answers, not "in-fantasy" answers. But there's no judge to say if an answer is good.

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14 minutes ago, Figberts said:

Problem:

USA politics 

We saw this in Warbreaker: to remove a corrupt political system, use

Spoiler

Kalad's Phantoms.

But since we don't have a bunch of them just standing around, the alternate method is to force all politicians to read Nohadon's philosophies. I mean, look what they did to Dalinar!

 

Problem: Freeloaders

 

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We could set up a bridge 4 camp for free loaders the only way out is to work down their "slave debt." They have to run bridges and experience the lives of bridge 4. Including running the assault on the parshendi. The arrows would be tipped with safety tips of course, but makem hurt! Won't take long to work the laziness out of them. 

 

Problem: Never anything good to eat in the house...

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1 hour ago, DarkJester said:

Problem: Never anything good to eat in the house...

Remember that Chull Dung soup/bread that Rock fed Sadeas? The leftover meatloaf in the fridge probably looks pretty good by comparison...

Problem: I'm super bored at work

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13 minutes ago, Felt said:

 

Problem: Your neighbors are being loud

draw a gliph of silencing on their car. Yes, of course the gliph won't work in the real world, but if you scratch their car every time they are being loud, they are likely to stop sooner or later...

Problem: you are jobless

Edited by king of nowhere
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Read, and then it doesn't matter. While reading you enter a world of beings superior to actual humans, and if they existed, they would of course trust you so it doesn't matter that the real world humans don't trust you. Read, and nothing can touch you. Nothing can hurt you. Even lack of trust.

Problem: I'm bad at chess.

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1 minute ago, Chull #445 said:

You do like Aanden, and eat some of your other books, so that the new Sanderson ones fit in.

Problem: Your internet stops working.

That...um...that was not a solution I even remotely expected. Well done!

Solution: Why do you need a solution? You have Sanderson books!

Problem: Despite your best efforts, you can't seem to get your friends to agree on a time for the final D&D session of the campaign.

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Inform them you are now the Highprince of War and they have a plateau run at 1800 hours sharp. Force them to wear uniforms if they don't shape up and try to duel any stragglers for their fancy dice.

Problem: Blue screen of death.

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3 hours ago, Turos said:

Inform them you are now the Highprince of War and they have a plateau run at 1800 hours sharp. Force them to wear uniforms if they don't shape up and try to duel any stragglers for their fancy dice.

Problem: Blue screen of death.

Remember, Lightsong's head priest, Skip I think he called him. He couldn't see anything but splotches of color in the paintings that were brought to show Lightsong. Yet Lightsong was able to see dire warnings in them. Maybe the blue screen has a dire message in it... Perhaps you should do like Skip and take it to someone with the ability to see something beyond the blue...

 

Problem: You are given your choice of cookies, but can only pick one...

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8 hours ago, DarkJester said:

Problem: You are given your choice of cookies, but can only pick one...

turn down the offer saying that those cookies have killed too many of your friends and now you couldn't eat them without seeing their deaths. then give the cookie to your best friend, who will turn out to be a traitor.

EDIT: problem: you face an incompetent bureaucrat who instead of doing his job and helping you is telling you to go look for it on the internet.

Edited by king of nowhere
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45 minutes ago, king of nowhere said:

EDIT: problem: you face an incompetent bureaucrat who instead of doing his job and helping you is telling you to go look for it on the internet.

Tell him "You'll help me or I will murder you. I’ll slice the tendons on your wrists so your hands can’t do anything more than batter at me uselessly as I kneel against your throat and slowly crush the life out of you—all while I remove your fingers one by one. I’ll finally let you breathe a single, frantic gasp—but at that moment I’ll shove your middle finger between your lips so that you’re forced to suck it down as you struggle for air. You’ll go out knowing you choked to death on your own rotten flesh."

Problem: my way to the university is way too long, I an hour to get there.

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54 minutes ago, Oversleep said:

Tell him "You'll help me or I will murder you. I’ll slice the tendons on your wrists so your hands can’t do anything more than batter at me uselessly as I kneel against your throat and slowly crush the life out of you—all while I remove your fingers one by one. I’ll finally let you breathe a single, frantic gasp—but at that moment I’ll shove your middle finger between your lips so that you’re forced to suck it down as you struggle for air. You’ll go out knowing you choked to death on your own rotten flesh."

I don't get it; is it from legion or one of the handful of non-cosmere short stories i haven't read?

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1 hour ago, Oversleep said:

Problem: my way to the university is way too long, I an hour to get there.

Remember the oaths we all hold dear my friend. Journey before destination. You may have to travel an hour or more each way, each day, but remember your destination. It's not college, and it's not home each day. Your destination is a brighter future for you and your family. It's a career you can be proud of and a life worth living. Be proud of your journey, because it will determine your eventual destination. Don't dread your journey. Embrace it! 

 

Problem: Flat tire.

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On 1/13/2017 at 11:24 AM, DarkJester said:

Problem: Flat tire.

Knight Radiant with pressure surge and a Soulcaster (can Soulcasters cast air?)

 

Problem: Your friend offers you a cookie that your other friend tell you not to eat

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