Truthweaver Posted November 17, 2018 Report Share Posted November 17, 2018 I had a pun about amnesia, but I forget it. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Silverblade5 Posted November 17, 2018 Report Share Posted November 17, 2018 Why are truckers so hard to deal with? They're all full of air. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Showman Posted December 6, 2018 Report Share Posted December 6, 2018 (edited) Disclaimer: I did not make this. I take no credit. My cousin showed it to me and I saw it wasn't on the Shard, so I posted it. Edited January 13, 2019 by Showman 12 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Truthweaver Posted December 13, 2018 Report Share Posted December 13, 2018 Four friends going to a Christmas costume party decide to dress as their favorite composers. The first friend arrives dressed as Beethoven. The second arrives dressed as Mozart, but the third and fourth both show up as Chopin. Seeing this, the fourth friend dejectedly leaves the party. "Hey," says the first friend. "Where are you going?" "I'm going to change my costume," the fourth friend replies. "Don't worry, I'll be Bach soon." 13 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ink Posted February 6, 2019 Report Share Posted February 6, 2019 How do Sweden and Norway get their ships registered? they... Spoiler Scandanavian 10 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Borio Singaldi Posted February 6, 2019 Report Share Posted February 6, 2019 2 hours ago, Ink said: How do Sweden and Norway get their ships registered? they... Hide contents Scandanavian You forgot to Finnish the joke. They Denmark them down to keep record of them. 9 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Truthweaver Posted February 6, 2019 Report Share Posted February 6, 2019 Oh goody, now I can post the bad puns I've been saving up! I once tried to unscrew a lightbulb before it cooled. Watt a mistake. My mom's sister suddenly developed superpowers and became a crime-fighter. The whole city seems to love her, but to me she'll always be an auntie hero. What do you call a giant, humanoid ant that can't speak? A mutant mute ant. 7 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zephrun’s Imperium Posted February 10, 2019 Report Share Posted February 10, 2019 7 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lunamor Posted March 20, 2019 Report Share Posted March 20, 2019 We must revive this thread! Painfully bad math puns ahead: Spoiler One day, I encountered an Ent in the forest. I was curious as to why he was there, as I had thought he was a resident of Middle Earth. He claimed that he had been visiting his friend, Gru, who could build him a device to help his fellow Ents make up their minds quicker. But Khan has been passing by and, being evil, had snatched him up and gotten him lost in the forest. So I led the Ent out of the forest and reunited him with Khan and Gru. I wanted them to stop fighting and for there to be peace, so I said “Khan, Gru, Ent”, pointing at them each in turn, “You guys need to realize how similar each of you are!” Problem solved. No apologies. 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lisa, Reading Spren Posted March 21, 2019 Report Share Posted March 21, 2019 Why was the king only 1m(1ft) high? Because he was a ruler Why can't you trust trees? Because they seem kind of shady Why do cows have hooves? Because they lack toes Why was the grape sunbathing? No raisin really 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Truthweaver Posted March 26, 2019 Report Share Posted March 26, 2019 Why did the enormously wealthy baker decide to retire? She didn't knead the dough anymore. 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Clyde Froggins Posted March 26, 2019 Report Share Posted March 26, 2019 7 8 9 because you are supposed to have 3 squared meals a day. 7 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Queen’sWit Posted March 31, 2019 Report Share Posted March 31, 2019 What do you call an Inquisitor with hay fever? Hemallergic! 8 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
+Doomstick Posted April 2, 2019 Report Share Posted April 2, 2019 What do you call WoR chapter 11 Spoiler A sticky situation! 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Draginon Posted April 9, 2019 Report Share Posted April 9, 2019 Anyone hear of the feminist that hated building furniture because it would require consulting a manual? 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Queen’sWit Posted April 14, 2019 Report Share Posted April 14, 2019 (edited) What does Dr. Seuss use to wipe down his kitchen sink? Clorax wipes! Edited April 14, 2019 by ThaylenEyebrows 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheGirlWhoLookedUp Posted April 15, 2019 Report Share Posted April 15, 2019 Why does Wit think he’s so important? He’s very Hoidy Toity! 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zephrun’s Imperium Posted April 15, 2019 Report Share Posted April 15, 2019 What do we want?! Low flying airplane noises! When do we want 'em?! NNNNNNNEEEEEEOOOOOOOOOOOWWWW!!!! 13 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Clyde Froggins Posted April 16, 2019 Report Share Posted April 16, 2019 I once stuck googly eyes on a mop and called it a Moppet. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Silverblade5 Posted April 20, 2019 Report Share Posted April 20, 2019 Q: What is the difference between a phone and a computer? A: The amount of tabs open. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Showman Posted April 20, 2019 Report Share Posted April 20, 2019 How did the scientists prove that aliens exist? They used abductive reasoning. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AonEne Posted May 27, 2019 Report Share Posted May 27, 2019 My dog is always intoxicated. He loves (to) w(h)ine. Vin sang a song in Camon's crew to distract someone once. I hear it was pretty con-vin-cing. 8 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Truthless of Shinovar Posted May 27, 2019 Report Share Posted May 27, 2019 So a bear walks into a restaurant, and walks over to a booth and sits down. The waiter came up and asked what the bear wanted. ”Alright,” said the bear, “I’ll take a burger and some fries.” ”Why the big pause?” The waiter asked. ”Oh these?” The bear said holding his paws up. “I’ve had them all my life!!” 10 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lunamor Posted August 5, 2019 Report Share Posted August 5, 2019 (edited) What did the cook say to the lazy guy making seafood stew? Oi! Stir! What is a good way to describe a jar of pickles that’s really hard to open? Cucumbersome. Edited August 5, 2019 by Lunamor 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Silverblade5 Posted August 8, 2019 Report Share Posted August 8, 2019 (edited) Probably the greatest pun spree I've witnessed. Spoilered for length. Enjoy. Edited August 9, 2019 by Silverblade5 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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