Queen Elsa Steelheart

Puns Puns Puns and More Puns

317 posts in this topic

You wont beleaf how many stick puns I know.

I wood like to share some.

Edited by Gancho Libre
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22 hours ago, Gancho Libre said:

You wont beleaf how many stick puns I know.

I wood like to share some.

pleaves do.

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36 minutes ago, Kidpen said:

pleaves do.

Leaves no leaf unturned?  Yeah, I'm really bad at this....

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nah that was great!

I have a fern beleaf that all puns are great.

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3 minutes ago, Gancho Libre said:

nah that was great!

I have a fern beleaf that all puns are great.

Well then! In that case, I am glad I do not have to take my leaf of this topic!!~ :) (or is it leaves of this topic?)

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either one

anyone want to hear a cheesy pun? it was pretty grate.

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Oooooh, puns.  Yes.

Why can't you ever explain a pun to a kleptomaniac?
Because they always take things literally.

What do you call it when you have a craving for an enormously heavy, randomly destructive, deep-fried Chinese seafood dish?
You're wantin' a one-ton wanton won-ton (say that five times fast).

 

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Mistborn: The Final Empire spoilers (and puns, of course)...

Spoiler

Woah, you're asking me to help you murder the Hero of Ages and take the power at the Well of Ascension!? Don't be so rashek, let's think about this.  ...Hmmm, if it means saving the world from destruction, I suppose I could alendi you a hand.

 

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Did you guys hear about the shoe store that burned down, lost one thousand soles. 

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You know, i think puns are pretty cool. I mean, its ice to be able to chill any day, snowing that i can make people's lives hail by giving them the cold shoulder.

also, what do you say to a skybreaker who did something well?

nale'd it! 

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Why was the iPhone thrown in jail? He was charged with battery! Now he's going to need a jailbreak.

 

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3 hours ago, Elenion said:

Why was the iPhone thrown in jail? He was charged with battery! Now he's going to need a jailbreak.

 

I just did some weird combination of a laugh and a cringe.

 

A photon checks into a hotel and is asked if he needs any help with his luggage. He says, "No, I'm travelling light."

I'd make a chemistry pun, but it'd be easily miscible...

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13 hours ago, Caesura said:

I just did some weird combination of a laugh and a cringe.

 

A photon checks into a hotel and is asked if he needs any help with his luggage. He says, "No, I'm travelling light."

I'd make a chemistry pun, but it'd be easily miscible...

Ah, all the good ones argon anyways.

Almost every bear likes water, except for polar bears. They're soluble.

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28 minutes ago, Elenion said:

Ah, all the good ones argon anyways.

Almost every bear likes water, except for polar bears. They're soluble.

If you're not a part of the solution, you're part of the precipitate.

How do you tell the difference between a chemist and a plumber?
Ask them to pronounce "unionized".

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On 5/17/2018 at 6:25 PM, Caesura said:

If you're not a part of the solution, you're part of the precipitate.

How do you tell the difference between a chemist and a plumber?
Ask them to pronounce "unionized".

If you can't curium, and you can't helium, then you have to barium. Then they argon.

Why are girls in lab coats so attractive? Because you have chemistry together.

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27 minutes ago, Elenion said:

If you can't curium, and you can't helium, then you have to barium. Then they argon.

Why are girls in lab coats so attractive? Because you have chemistry together.

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I'd tell you a chemistry pun but I don't think I would get a reaction. So here's some Mistborn ones instead:

I was wondering why the coin kept getting closer and closer. And then it hit me. 

I tried to stab the Lord Ruler with a blunt spear, but it was pointless. 

And did you hear about the kidnapping at the party? It's okay now. She woke up. 

Edited by Archer
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I love cheese puns.  They are just so gouda.  But my friends are often feta up with them. They camembert it, saying stuff like "Just stop!  Leave man! Che! Go!"  I go to take my cheese puns for a walk and brie the sweet air.  

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Did you hear President Trump wanted to ban pre-shredded cheese? His exact words were "Make America grate again".

 

I put root beer in a square glass... And got beer.

 

First attempt, how'd I do?

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10 minutes ago, Reckless Reader said:

I put root beer in a square glass... And got beer.

Any math joke that I can understand is a good joke in my books. Nicely done on that one.

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You rip what you sew. 

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