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Puns Puns Puns and More Puns


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3 minutes ago, Gancho Libre said:

nah that was great!

I have a fern beleaf that all puns are great.

Well then! In that case, I am glad I do not have to take my leaf of this topic!!~ :) (or is it leaves of this topic?)

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Oooooh, puns.  Yes.

Why can't you ever explain a pun to a kleptomaniac?
Because they always take things literally.

What do you call it when you have a craving for an enormously heavy, randomly destructive, deep-fried Chinese seafood dish?
You're wantin' a one-ton wanton won-ton (say that five times fast).

 

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Mistborn: The Final Empire spoilers (and puns, of course)...

Spoiler

Woah, you're asking me to help you murder the Hero of Ages and take the power at the Well of Ascension!? Don't be so rashek, let's think about this.  ...Hmmm, if it means saving the world from destruction, I suppose I could alendi you a hand.

 

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You know, i think puns are pretty cool. I mean, its ice to be able to chill any day, snowing that i can make people's lives hail by giving them the cold shoulder.

also, what do you say to a skybreaker who did something well?

nale'd it! 

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3 hours ago, Elenion said:

Why was the iPhone thrown in jail? He was charged with battery! Now he's going to need a jailbreak.

 

I just did some weird combination of a laugh and a cringe.

 

A photon checks into a hotel and is asked if he needs any help with his luggage. He says, "No, I'm travelling light."

I'd make a chemistry pun, but it'd be easily miscible...

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13 hours ago, Caesura said:

I just did some weird combination of a laugh and a cringe.

 

A photon checks into a hotel and is asked if he needs any help with his luggage. He says, "No, I'm travelling light."

I'd make a chemistry pun, but it'd be easily miscible...

Ah, all the good ones argon anyways.

Almost every bear likes water, except for polar bears. They're soluble.

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28 minutes ago, Elenion said:

Ah, all the good ones argon anyways.

Almost every bear likes water, except for polar bears. They're soluble.

If you're not a part of the solution, you're part of the precipitate.

How do you tell the difference between a chemist and a plumber?
Ask them to pronounce "unionized".

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On 5/17/2018 at 6:25 PM, Caesura said:

If you're not a part of the solution, you're part of the precipitate.

How do you tell the difference between a chemist and a plumber?
Ask them to pronounce "unionized".

If you can't curium, and you can't helium, then you have to barium. Then they argon.

Why are girls in lab coats so attractive? Because you have chemistry together.

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I'd tell you a chemistry pun but I don't think I would get a reaction. So here's some Mistborn ones instead:

I was wondering why the coin kept getting closer and closer. And then it hit me. 

I tried to stab the Lord Ruler with a blunt spear, but it was pointless. 

And did you hear about the kidnapping at the party? It's okay now. She woke up. 

Edited by Archer
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I love cheese puns.  They are just so gouda.  But my friends are often feta up with them. They camembert it, saying stuff like "Just stop!  Leave man! Che! Go!"  I go to take my cheese puns for a walk and brie the sweet air.  

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