Posted October 19, 2016 I love puns. Hit me with your best puns 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted October 19, 2016 A midget psychic assaulted one of his neighbors and then went into hiding. The next day the newspaper headline read, "SMALL MEDIUM AT LARGE." 11 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted October 19, 2016 If you jumped off a bridge in Paris, you'd be in Seine. 5 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted October 19, 2016 Why did Karl Marx dislike tea? Because all proper tea was theft! 4 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted October 19, 2016 Wow, jeez guys. I'm only gone for a few hours and you already have a pun thread set up. I'm too tired, but I'll post some of my best ones in the morning (morning for me, in about eight hours for you guys.) 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted October 19, 2016 Thousands of wigs were stolen from a local factory last night. Police are combing the area. 7 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted October 19, 2016 The toilet at the police station disappeared without a trace. The cops have nothing to go on. 6 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted October 19, 2016 Did you hear about the Americans winning the war against the British? I hear it was a total stamping. 2 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted October 19, 2016 34 minutes ago, CalypsoDreaming said: Did you hear about the Americans winning the war against the British? I hear it was a total stamping. They got bangered and mashed. 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted October 19, 2016 4 hours ago, bleeder said: Wow, jeez guys. I'm only gone for a few hours and you already have a pun thread set up. I'm too tired, but I'll post some of my best ones in the morning (morning for me, in about eight hours for you guys.) But I love puns 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted October 19, 2016 (edited) Have you seen Kobold's tale of Darkbinder? You should read it What's the difference between a nicely dressed man on a bicycle, and a poorly dressed man on a tricycle? A tire. Edited October 19, 2016 by Dankness Ascendant 12 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted October 19, 2016 You guys should all learn sign language, it's pretty handy. 12 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted October 19, 2016 I knew a pun about amnesia...forgot what it was. (This is fun!) 3 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted October 19, 2016 Did you hear about the kidnapping? Don't worry, he woke up. 8 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted October 19, 2016 You should all be punished. 6 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted October 19, 2016 What's the difference between male cow puns and female cow puns? You can milk the latter for much longer. 8 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted October 19, 2016 "You might say that I'm thoroughly, in-fested. " You can thank Light song for that one.. but some say that it might have been ghost-spoken/written by Brandon Sanderson An invisible man went to see a psychiatrist. When the psychiatrist's secretary told him that the man was seeking an appointment, he answered that he couldn't see him right now. 2 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted October 20, 2016 Are you guys writing all of these down with your pun-cils? 3 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted October 21, 2016 A flock of migrating shorebirds landed in a field of marijuana to rest for a while. Before long, there was no tern left unstoned. 19 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted October 21, 2016 21 minutes ago, Sunbird said: A flock of migrating shorebirds landed in a field of marijuana to rest for a while. Before long, there was no tern left unstoned. I don't know why but this is my favorite joke thus far. 2 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted October 21, 2016 2 hours ago, bleeder said: I don't know why but this is my favorite joke thus far. Glad to know at least one person appreciates bird jokes. Q: What is Beethoven's favorite fruit? A: BA-NA-NA-NAAAAAA! 3 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted October 21, 2016 What do you call an air-filled blood vessel that is running for President of the United States? A cap-Hillary. 4 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted October 22, 2016 (edited) Stolen from Colin Mochrie: Quote Our top story today: Convicted hit man Jimmy 'Two-Shoes' McClarty confessed today that he was once hired to beat a cow to death in a rice field using only two small porcelain figures. Police admit this may be the first known case of a knickknack paddy-whack. EDIT: Actually, I'm not entirely sure that's a pun. Here's one I know is: Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He's all right now. Edited October 22, 2016 by Jondesu 2 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted October 22, 2016 @Jondesu That's totally a pun. And a good one too! What's Superman's favorite vegetable? Kal-el-flower. 0 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted October 22, 2016 What's the hardest part of a vegetable to eat? The wheelchair. 4 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
