game Rules Lawyer Genie

[Mark IV]

In reply to morzathoth's wish, as the wrapping goes against the rules, the sandwich does appear, but where? You will never know.

[Young Bard]

 

Doesn't the wrapping go against this part of the rules

by affecting the sandwich with something he didn't wish for, instead of an flaw within the actual wish?

 

Maybe... I'm not sure. I'll think of something else.... Umm...

 

The meat is considered morally acceptable to eat in society. The cheese, however, was made for the personal use of the Pope, and as you eat your sandwich, there are a horde of angry fanatic Christians who are descending on your house.

 

Apologies to any Christians on the board. The first thing that entered my head was "Cheese owned by some important person." ... And, well, the Pope fit the bill.

Edited April 4, 2016 by The Young Bard

[Voidus]

Doesn't the wrapping go against this part of the rules

by affecting the sandwich with something he didn't wish for, instead of an flaw within the actual wish?

Id say a wrapping could be interpreted as part of a sandwich.

[Mark IV]

Has anyone twisted edgedancer's wish?

[Young Bard]

Has anyone twisted edgedancer's wish?

 

Morz twisted the joke one. Is that what you meant? I think we're up to your eye-retina one.

[Mark IV]

But, didn't he say without using words?

Oh wait. That's while employing words ...[and other things]... that don't affect his sanity.

My bad.

If it were without using words, I'd just put this-

.

Edited April 4, 2016 by Mark IV

[Arrae]

The robot appears beside you, on firm ground, not harming you in any way. It's temperature is more than you can tolerate to touch (around 500K).

The robot records all of your orders, but spends an eternity once it is given an order to maliciously interpret the given order. Once it finds a way that doesn't violate any of the rules, it executes the task in the utmost ridiculous manner, publicly insulting you while doing so, if possible.

(I'm not sure what you mean by not causing frustration on your behalf, but I've taken it to mean it won't cause frustration to other people in your name)

My wish-

I wish to have a great expansion to my ability to view different wavelengths of light. From 10 cm wavelength to around 1 GHz wavelength.

This expansion to my visible spectrum must not scorch my retina in any way. My eye must not cease to work. There must be no problem with my brain receiving these impulses from my eye. These impulses must be efficiently and correctly decoded by my brain.

No aesthetic alterations must be done to my eyes. They must look as they look right now. My field of vision must not change. My eyes must not become over or undersensitive to light. My body must not suffer any side-effects from this.

My eyes must not suffer any damage.

I should not go mad. My psychological state must not be altered.

I guess that covers it.

EDIT: WOAH! the ninjas!

EDIT 2: voidus, you and I think a lot alike.

You can see all the pretty colors now! Too bad nobody else can see them, so they think you've gone crazy. Also, the government wants to study you now.

[ChickenPlague]

The robot appears beside you, on firm ground, not harming you in any way. It's temperature is more than you can tolerate to touch (around 500K).

The robot records all of your orders, but spends an eternity once it is given an order to maliciously interpret the given order. Once it finds a way that doesn't violate any of the rules, it executes the task in the utmost ridiculous manner, publicly insulting you while doing so, if possible.

(I'm not sure what you mean by not causing frustration on your behalf, but I've taken it to mean it won't cause frustration to other people in your name)

My wish-

I wish to have a great expansion to my ability to view different wavelengths of light. From 10 cm wavelength to around 1 GHz wavelength.

This expansion to my visible spectrum must not scorch my retina in any way. My eye must not cease to work. There must be no problem with my brain receiving these impulses from my eye. These impulses must be efficiently and correctly decoded by my brain.

No aesthetic alterations must be done to my eyes. They must look as they look right now. My field of vision must not change. My eyes must not become over or undersensitive to light. My body must not suffer any side-effects from this.

My eyes must not suffer any damage.

I should not go mad. My psychological state must not be altered.

I guess that covers it.

EDIT: WOAH! the ninjas!

EDIT 2: voidus, you and I think a lot alike.

Sure. You see these pulses from your cheeks and since you only asked to be able to decode the pulses from your eyes you see a jumble of colors. (If this doesn't work please point out why.)

My wish- I want to be able to travel instantly between the Cosmere and RL with no cooldown, cost or penalty.

[Master Elodin]

Hoid kills you because he's jealous.

I wish for 5 wishes.

[Voidus]

Hoid kills you because he's jealous.

I wish for 5 wishes.

Grated, the first wish is to have four fewer wishes.

[A Joe in the Bush]

Hoid kills you because he's jealous.

 

Violates the rule about what the genie can affect. Hoid was not part of the wish, so The genie can't affect him. This isn't Boon/Bane. This is rules Lawyer.

 

As for the wish itself:

My wish- I want to be able to travel instantly between the Cosmere and RL with no cooldown, cost or penalty.

Too easy. Granted. You now want to be able to travel instantly between the Cosmere and RL with no cooldown, cost or penalty. You can't, you juts want to. Gotta be more clear on the wording.

 

I wish to have perfect memory, meaning the ability to remember everything with all five senses, and recall it at will. In addition, I wish for any necessary physical changes in order to enable me to have this memory. No part of this wish may negatively impact my physical body, including my brain and ability to think.

[Voidus]

Violates the rule about what the genie can affect. Hoid was not part of the wish, so The genie can't affect him. This isn't Boon/Bane. This is rules Lawyer.

As for the wish itself:

Too easy. Granted. You now want to be able to travel instantly between the Cosmere and RL with no cooldown, cost or penalty. You can't, you juts want to. Gotta be more clear on the wording.

I wish to have perfect memory, meaning the ability to remember everything with all five senses, and recall it at will. In addition, I wish for any necessary physical changes in order to enable me to have this memory. No part of this wish may negatively impact my physical body, including my brain and ability to think.

Granted. So that none of your memories negatively affect your mind all emotions are removed from you.

I wish to become a Slowbro but retain all of my memories, experiences and mental faculties.

[Master Elodin]

The genie does not know what this is, so he decides to make you an idiot brother.

I will be able to eat disgusting things without anything bad happening to me.

[ChickenPlague]

The genie does not know what this is, so he decides to make you an idiot brother.

I will be able to eat disgusting things without anything bad happening to me.

You "will" be able to do that. After 999 years. So if your skeleton gets a ketchupwater cocktail poured in it's mouth nothing bad will happen to it.

I wish to never die, or be hurt physically or mentally.

Edited April 5, 2016 by ChickenPlague

[Lindel]

You are now immortal and invincible. In order to ensure that you're never hurt mentally, you're trapped in a solitude for eternity, unable to interact with any other living thing, since they all could potentially offend you.

 

I wish to be impervious to physical harm, while retaining all the other functions of my body in their proper, natural state. 

[A Joe in the Bush]

You are now immortal and invincible. In order to ensure that you're never hurt mentally, you're trapped in a solitude for eternity, unable to interact with any other living thing, since they all could potentially offend you.

I wish to be impervious to physical harm, while retaining all the other functions of my body in their proper, natural state.

Too easy. Exercisng tears your muscles in order to make you stronger. Your wish is granted, but you're stuck as you are now, unable to get stronger, faster or any other physical improvment. You're also unable to shave, as your hair cannot be cut.

I wish for a Pancake, on a ceramic dinner plate. Neither plate nor pancake can exceed 80 degrees Fahrenheit in temperature, nor be below 50 degrees in the same. Neither plate nor pancake can be moving when considered relative to my body. The pancake cannot contain any ingredients that would cause me physical, mental, spiritual, social or emotional harm. Neither plate nor pancake can exceed 1 foot in diameter, or one inch in height.

[ChickenPlague]

Too easy. Exercisng tears your muscles in order to make you stronger. Your wish is granted, but you're stuck as you are now, unable to get stronger, faster or any other physical improvment. You're also unable to shave, as your hair cannot be cut.

I wish for a Pancake, on a ceramic dinner plate. Neither plate nor pancake can exceed 80 degrees Fahrenheit in temperature, nor be below 50 degrees in the same. Neither plate nor pancake can be moving when considered relative to my body. The pancake cannot contain any ingredients that would cause me physical, mental, spiritual, social or emotional harm. Neither plate nor pancake can exceed 1 foot in diameter, or one inch in height.

A) 1mm in height and diameter.

B ) Since it cannot cause physical harm, it is made of nothing as anything else causes miniscule harm to your teeth. However if it doesn't exist it causes emotional harm as you feel sad because of the lacking pancake. Congratulations! You broke the genie!

I wish to have 5000000€ to be added to my bank account sometime this day(earth day). This money must not be stolen and must not be removed from my account, or be made worthless.

Edited April 5, 2016 by ChickenPlague

[Seonid]

Too easy. Exercisng tears your muscles in order to make you stronger. Your wish is granted, but you're stuck as you are now, unable to get stronger, faster or any other physical improvment. You're also unable to shave, as your hair cannot be cut.

I wish for a Pancake, on a ceramic dinner plate. Neither plate nor pancake can exceed 80 degrees Fahrenheit in temperature, nor be below 50 degrees in the same. Neither plate nor pancake can be moving when considered relative to my body. The pancake cannot contain any ingredients that would cause me physical, mental, spiritual, social or emotional harm. Neither plate nor pancake can exceed 1 foot in diameter, or one inch in height.

 

Excellent. You receive such a pancake. However, since you neglected to specify where and when you wanted it, it will appear in approximately 100 trillion years, well into the heat death of the universe. It's location will be randomly determined.

[ChickenPlague]

Excellent. You receive such a pancake. However, since you neglected to specify where and when you wanted it, it will appear in approximately 100 trillion years, well into the heat death of the universe. It's location will be randomly determined.

Your wish?

[Edgedancer]

Your wish?

He wishes for nothing, thus we should desolve his body in a concentrated dosis of anti-exsistence.

 

I on the other hand wish for someone to find a more creative way to mess up the wish for a sandwhich than the ones used here so far.

[ChickenPlague]

The sandwich is made from the guts of fish (generally accepted as an eatable ANIMAL) filled with rabbit blood and eyes( again the animal is considered tasty- not the part of the animal).

Thsi pleases you (genie magic!), but doesn't please everyone else within 500km because the Sandwich smells really bad.

I wish to have 4 fully functional arms attached to my body at angles and in shapes which are usable. Each of the arms must be capable of lifting a 100 kg and they must look like my arms do now.

Edit- I still have my previous wish pending!

Edited April 5, 2016 by ChickenPlague

[Voidus]

A) 1mm in height and diameter.

B ) Since it cannot cause physical harm, it is made of nothing as anything else causes miniscule harm to your teeth. However if it doesn't exist it causes emotional harm as you feel sad because of the lacking pancake. Congratulations! You broke the genie!

I wish to have 5000000€ to be added to my bank account sometime this day(earth day). This money must not be stolen and must not be removed from my account, or be made worthless.

Granted, in order for it to not be removed from your account you are arrested by the police and your bank accounts frozen. Also you didn't declare it on your tax.

Chickens second wish.

[Seonid]

Granted, in order for it to not be removed from your account you are arrested by the police and your bank accounts frozen. Also you didn't declare it on your tax.

Chickens second wish.

Granted, but while trying to maintain blood flow to the extra arms, your heart fails.

I wish for all of my remaining homework for this semester to be finished: specifically my senior research project in physics, my senior research project in religious studies, my 3 physics lab reports, and all of my overdue arabic homework from this semester. The finished work must be presented to me in electronic form compatible with Microsoft Windows 10 and Microsoft Office 2013, within 10 seconds (SI units only), contained within a USB drive and be laid 1 cm (again, SI units) above the top of my desk with no velocity relative to my reference frame. The research projects must be written using my own words and phrasing, and must be correct in all of their observations, according to the highest standards of research. They must be formatted properly, using APA formatting, and be indistinguishable in all material respects from the projects I would have written with my current level of knowledge and understanding as of this post. They must be fully accepted by my professors as meeting the requirements of the assignments, and gaining them may not have any adverse impact on my physical, emotional, or mental well-being, or on any of my relationships with others. The USB must be my own property, not stolen or otherwise acquired through dubious means. No other changes may be made to the universe in the process of granting this wish other than the ones expressly described in this post, and if any interpretation of this wish would cause me - at this present time or any future time - to disapprove of the final outcome, I require you to present the interpretation to me in full, with a complete explanation of why I will disapprove of it, before carrying out any portion of the instructions. At that point, I will add further conditions to prevent the consequences of which I disapprove of. This wish may never be interpreted in such a way as to render the initial design null and void.

[Master Elodin]

The drives weigh 5 tons each.

I wish to become the genie.

[Voidus]

Granted, but while trying to maintain blood flow to the extra arms, your heart fails.

I wish for all of my remaining homework for this semester to be finished: specifically my senior research project in physics, my senior research project in religious studies, my 3 physics lab reports, and all of my overdue arabic homework from this semester. The finished work must be presented to me in electronic form compatible with Microsoft Windows 10 and Microsoft Office 2013, within 10 seconds (SI units only), contained within a USB drive and be laid 1 cm (again, SI units) above the top of my desk with no velocity relative to my reference frame. The research projects must be written using my own words and phrasing, and must be correct in all of their observations, according to the highest standards of research. They must be formatted properly, using APA formatting, and be indistinguishable in all material respects from the projects I would have written with my current level of knowledge and understanding as of this post. They must be fully accepted by my professors as meeting the requirements of the assignments, and gaining them may not have any adverse impact on my physical, emotional, or mental well-being, or on any of my relationships with others. The USB must be my own property, not stolen or otherwise acquired through dubious means. No other changes may be made to the universe in the process of granting this wish other than the ones expressly described in this post, and if any interpretation of this wish would cause me - at this present time or any future time - to disapprove of the final outcome, I require you to present the interpretation to me in full, with a complete explanation of why I will disapprove of it, before carrying out any portion of the instructions. At that point, I will add further conditions to prevent the consequences of which I disapprove of. This wish may never be interpreted in such a way as to render the initial design null and void.

Not a typical twisting but this is technically either more than one wish, or else your only wish will be consumed by telling you why you wouldn't approve of the wish. Or alternatively since all you stipulated was that they tell you before they carry out the instructions, not that they tell you then wait for further conditions, they would tell you then immediately grant it anyway.