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Rules Lawyer Genie


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Again people, Check for Ninja's!

 

Granted. The diamonds are hollow and filled with lava. (You said "no energy has to" instead of "no energy may") This is not an effect, but the natural state of the diamonds.
I wish for the genie to cease to exist with no effect on me or any other human.

I don't think that works. Lava isn't at 300 Degree's Kelvin, and is above the required 2.5 micrometer wavelength. I think. I'm not a scientist though.

 

And no. Wish not granted.

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snip

 

 

Granted. The diamonds are hollow and filled with lava. (You said "no energy has to" instead of "no energy may")

I wish for the genie to cease to exist with no effect on me or any other human.

Nope. I specified that they had to have a temperature of 300 K, uniformly distributed, and they are made of nothing but carbon.

 

On the other hand, I already found the trick.

I specified that the diamond have to appear from nowhere. That would imply magic, as the physical laws are constrained by the conservation of mass-energy. But, there is a way around that. Per the denizens of quantum physics, the law of conservation of mass-energy can be broken for extremely small masses and times, and a mass can appear from nowhere and disappear, provided the product of the time in which the violation of the conservation law and the ammount of mass by which it was violated is smaller or equal to the plank constant, which is somewhere around 10-34. So, the diamonds will be created as I asked, as the result of a quantum fluctuation, and the physical laws will be respected. As the mass of those diamonds was around 10-2 kg, they will disappear in around 10-32 seconds. Unfortunately, this is a potentially viable outcome from every other wish I've read here. Invoking quantum fluctuations seems definitely like cheating on the genie's part. But it is thematically appropriate for my very scientific-oriented wish.

Edited by king of nowhere
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Nope. I specified that they had to have a temperature of 300 K, uniformly distributed, and they are made of nothing but carbon.

On the other hand, I already found the trick.

I specified that the diamond have to appear from nowhere. That would imply magic, as the physical laws are constrained by the conservation of mass-energy. But, there is a way around that. Per the denizens of quantum physics, the law of conservation of mass-energy can be broken for extremely small masses and times, and a mass can appear from nowhere and disappear, provided the product of the time in which the violation of the conservation law and the ammount of mass by which it was violated is smaller or equal to the plank constant, which is somewhere around 10-34. So, the diamonds will be created as I asked, as the result of a quantum fluctuation, and the physical laws will be respected. As the mass of those diamonds was around 10-2 kg, they will disappear in around 10-32 seconds. Unfortunately, this is a potentially viable outcome from every other wish I've read here. Invoking quantum fluctuations seems definitely like cheating on the genie's part. But it is thematically appropriate for my very scientific-oriented wish.

The diamonds appear at 300 kelvin. They are also made of carbon. Edited by Master Elodin
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I wish 100 small diamonds (as per the definition above) to appear in the palm of my hand.

For the 100 in the the phrase "100 small diamonds", you didn't specify what base that was in. That lets me do all kinds of weird things with what 100 means, whether it's 4 diamonds in base 2, or something else, choosing a massive base, or maybe even a negative base.

Edited by Haelbarde
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For the 100 in the the phrase "100 small diamonds", you didn't specify what base that was in. That lets me do all kinds of weird things with what 100 means, whether it's 4 diamonds in base 2, or something else, choosing a massive base, or maybe even a negative base.

 

And then when you start invoking ridiculously large bases, you can additionally start messing with nowhere's definition of appearing the the palm of their hand; per their definition, an arbitrarily large number of diamonds would be forced to overlap in such as way as to cause nuclear fusion, and potentially a very, very large explosion. :ph34r:

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Can I suggest that once a wish has been broken, no iterating the wish to plug the holes?

Sure. One attempt per wish makes sense.

 

Who wants to make a wish? I think it's technically nowhere's turn again, as he broke his own wish using quantum magic. (Anything involving Quantum anything is magic to me.)

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@Joe: You get a smooth orb of glass filled with pure water, with both at 70 degrees Fahrenheit, and weighs somewhere within the required bound.

I wish that one of Brandon Sanderson's characters was inspired by me.

 

You meet Sanderson at an airport, where both of you are already in horrible moods. Or, more specifically, you crash into him, head on, weighed down with tons on luggage. Since you are late for your flight, you have no choice but to ignore how his papers went flying everywhere and he spilled his drink all over himself, and you leave muttering obscenities that he thinks is directed at him.

 

It turns out that you just ruined the final draft of something he was going to publish (let's say Stormlight 3), and it is the only copy of the final version. This delays the publication of Stormlight 3 by another year and also pushes back the publication of everything else by one year.

 

Luckily, one good thing comes out of this: he is inspired to create a clumsy character who often smashes into people and runs away before they can do anything. The character's name is, coincidentally, identical to your own.

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Granted. The diamonds are hollow and filled with lava. (You said "no energy has to" instead of "no energy may") This is not an effect, but the natural state of the diamonds.

I wish for the genie to cease to exist with no effect on me or any other human.

The genie does as you wish, creating a clone of itself, identical other than the fact it remembers you killing it's otherself. This new genie makes you stop existing as just deserts. The original wish is not violated as the genies passing did not affect any human.

Too tired to make something looking like a legal document, so I'll wish for the perfect wish for me.

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Too tired to make something looking like a legal document, so I'll wish for the perfect wish for me.

 

The 'perfect wish for me' is created. However, it is not given to you, but to the genie himself instead.

 

---

 

I wish for a robot. The robot must follow the 3 laws of Asimov:

  1. The robot may not injure a human being or, through inaction, allow a human being to come to harm.
  2. The robot must obey the orders given it by human beings except where such orders would conflict with the First Law.
  3. The robot must protect its own existence as long as such protection does not conflict with the First or Second Laws.

 

In the event of a clash, the robot must obey the law of most importance, and not breakdown, crash or malfunction in any way. In procuring or using the robot, no negative effects can occur to me, another person, or the environment around me or the robot. The robot must be functional, in a condition that is safe and pleasant for a human to interact with. An exception to the second law is that any order which is made by another person that disadvantages me in any way, including the loss of the robot as a fuctional, safe and pleasant tool, must be discarded. The robot must not deliberately cause frustration on my behalf. If another person and I both ask the robot to perform a task, my task will take precedence. The robot must be of equal size, shape and weight to an average human. The robot must be delivered instantaneously, to the nearest spot to me on firm ground that does not place me at a disadvantage or in danger. The robot must be indestructible. The robot must be sufficiently prepared upon arrival that it can start following commands immediately.

Edited by The Young Bard
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The 'perfect wish for me' is created. However, it is not given to you, but to the genie himself instead.

 

---

 

I wish for a robot. The robot must follow the 3 laws of Asimov:

  1. The robot may not injure a human being or, through inaction, allow a human being to come to harm.
  2. The robot must obey the orders given it by human beings except where such orders would conflict with the First Law.
  3. The robot must protect its own existence as long as such protection does not conflict with the First or Second Laws.

 

In the event of a clash, the robot must obey the law of most importance, and not breakdown, crash or malfunction in any way. In procuring or using the robot, no negative effects can occur to me, another person, or the environment around me or the robot. The robot must be functional, in a condition that is safe and pleasant for a human to interact with. An exception to the second law is that any order which is made by another person that disadvantages me in any way, including the loss of the robot as a fuctional, safe and pleasant tool, must be discarded. The robot must not deliberately cause frustration on my behalf. If another person and I both ask the robot to perform a task, my task will take precedence. The robot must be of equal size, shape and weight to an average human. The robot must be delivered instantaneously, to the nearest spot to me on firm ground that does not place me at a disadvantage or in danger. The robot must be indestructible. The robot must be sufficiently prepared upon arrival that it can start following commands immediately.

A couple of fun ones here:

1) The robot is exactly the size and shape of a person, but its external casing is solid not flexible, and as per your wish, indestructible. The robot is now incapable of movement. Congratulations on your indestructible paperweight!

2) The robot is indestructible but this makes it completely impossible to repair in the event that the robots internal mechanisms malfunction. (This isn't even really twisting words, this is just something that would happen :P)

3) The robot interprets its own mental wellbeing as part of its existence, it violently hates humans but is still compelled to obey their commands and not hurt them. The only logical way for the robot to guard its mental wellbeing is to remove its ability to interpret its environment and instead simulate killing humans for all eternity.

4) The robot comes functional and is ready to start following your commands, one second later it ceases to function as its battery is drained. The technology to charge or replace this battery does not yet exist.

I wish to be able to see the entire spectrum of electromagnetic radiation, not just visible light. I wish for this to be granted supernaturally, with no physical alterations to my body or the universe in general and no addition of matter or energy to the universe other than strictly that which is necessary to convey this information.

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Too tired to make something looking like a legal document, so I'll wish for the perfect wish for me.

 

You. "I wish to know what is the best wish I can ask, and to have it fulfilled"

Genie: "The best wish you could ask was that one you asked. That's its fulfillment". And it disappears in a flash of logic

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A couple of fun ones here:

1) The robot is exactly the size and shape of a person, but its external casing is solid not flexible, and as per your wish, indestructible. The robot is now incapable of movement. Congratulations on your indestructible paperweight!

2) The robot is indestructible but this makes it completely impossible to repair in the event that the robots internal mechanisms malfunction. (This isn't even really twisting words, this is just something that would happen :P)

3) The robot interprets its own mental wellbeing as part of its existence, it violently hates humans but is still compelled to obey their commands and not hurt them. The only logical way for the robot to guard its mental wellbeing is to remove its ability to interpret its environment and instead simulate killing humans for all eternity.

4) The robot comes functional and is ready to start following your commands, one second later it ceases to function as its battery is drained. The technology to charge or replace this battery does not yet exist.

I wish to be able to see the entire spectrum of electromagnetic radiation, not just visible light. I wish for this to be granted supernaturally, with no physical alterations to my body or the universe in general and no addition of matter or energy to the universe other than strictly that which is necessary to convey this information.

I would have gone for the robot needing regular refuling at completely unreasonable prices. :ph34r:

 

Congratulation, because I was unable to adapt your brain to properly dealing with the new data, you are now being driven completely insane by the experience.

 

I wish for you to tell me what you consider an entertaining joke in completely verbal (or text based for the sake of this forum) form, while employing no words, symbols or other things that could negatively affect my sanity and including no incarnation that would lead to any supernatural phenomenon around my location.

Edited by Edgedancer
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I would have gone for the robot needing regular refuling at completely unreasonable prices. :ph34r:

 

Congratulation, because I was unable to adapt your brain to properly dealing with the new data, you are now being driven completely insane by the experience.

 

I wish for you to tell me what you consider an entertaining joke in completely verbal (or text based for the sake of this forum) form, while employing no words, symbols or other things that could negatively affect my sanity and including no incarnation that would lead to any supernatural phenomenon around my location.

Completely insane? Like if I were the head of an organization utilizing a form of magic that tears holes in your spirit and patches them up with random pieces of other souls? Or if I were a member of the Reckoners RP? Or the type of person who thought that Star Wars Episode 1 wasn't actually that bad?

Well fair enough, I wouldn't want to be insane like that. :P

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I would have gone for the robot needing regular refuling at completely unreasonable prices. :ph34r:

 

Congratulation, because I was unable to adapt your brain to properly dealing with the new data, you are now being driven completely insane by the experience.

 

I wish for you to tell me what you consider an entertaining joke in completely verbal (or text based for the sake of this forum) form, while employing no words, symbols or other things that could negatively affect my sanity and including no incarnation that would lead to any supernatural phenomenon around my location.

 

I can't be bothered thinking up a joke now, but I'll point out to the next person that only each individual word can't negatively affect his sanity, not groups of words, phrases, etc.

 

Or, it could be something which causes a non-supernatural phenomenon around his location.

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I can't be bothered thinking up a joke now, but I'll point out to the next person that only each individual word can't negatively affect his sanity, not groups of words, phrases, etc.

 

Or, it could be something which causes a non-supernatural phenomenon around his location.

Or it could affect something other than his sanity. Such as yelling the joke so loudly that he becomes deaf. :P

But I'll leave the official answer to someone else since I already did one.

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I wish to be able to see the entire spectrum of electromagnetic radiation, not just visible light. I wish for this to be granted supernaturally, with no physical alterations to my body or the universe in general and no addition of matter or energy to the universe other than strictly that which is necessary to convey this information.

You can now see the entire spectra of electromagnetic radiation. All the pesky radiosignals cloud your sight, you cant look at people anymore because they are radiating infrared, you cant sleep because millimeter waves go through your eyelids. Through your wish to see everything you can now see nothing.

 

 

I would have gone for the robot needing regular refuling at completely unreasonable prices. :ph34r:

 

Congratulation, because I was unable to adapt your brain to properly dealing with the new data, you are now being driven completely insane by the experience.

 

I wish for you to tell me what you consider an entertaining joke in completely verbal (or text based for the sake of this forum) form, while employing no words, symbols or other things that could negatively affect my sanity and including no incarnation that would lead to any supernatural phenomenon around my location.

Whats the difference between a baby and a pizza?

 

Google it, I cant post the punchline on this forum.

 

I wish for a really good sandwich. The ingredients must be safe for human consumption, the sandwich must be made out of ingredients that are not endangered. The meat must be from animals considered morally acceptable to eat in western society. The sandwich must please me.

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Completely insane? Like if I were the head of an organization utilizing a form of magic that tears holes in your spirit and patches them up with random pieces of other souls? Or if I were a member of the Reckoners RP? Or the type of person who thought that Star Wars Episode 1 wasn't actually that bad?

Well fair enough, I wouldn't want to be insane like that. :P

The type of person that considers #495 to #649 the best pokemons to ever have been created, while the first generation is just glorified trash. :ph34r:

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You can now see the entire spectra of electromagnetic radiation. All the pesky radiosignals cloud your sight, you cant look at people anymore because they are radiating infrared, you cant sleep because millimeter waves go through your eyelids. Through your wish to see everything you can now see nothing.

 

 

Whats the difference between a baby and a pizza?

 

Google it, I cant post the punchline on this forum.

 

I wish for a really good sandwich. The ingredients must be safe for human consumption, the sandwich must be made out of ingredients that are not endangered. The meat must be from animals considered morally acceptable to eat in western society. The sandwich must please me.

I can actually sleep through pretty much any amount of light and occasionally with my eyes open :P Good catches though.

 

 

The type of person that considers #495 to #649 the best pokemons to ever have been created, while the first generation is just glorified trash.  :ph34r:

Oh dear god!

End it! Kill me now!!!!!!

*Runs off cliff*

*Gets stuck in hell due to... certain metallic lifestyle choices*

*Discovers hell is just an endless repetition of generation 5 onwards*

*Screams forever*

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The robot appears beside you, on firm ground, not harming you in any way. It's temperature is more than you can tolerate to touch (around 500K).

The robot records all of your orders, but spends an eternity once it is given an order to maliciously interpret the given order. Once it finds a way that doesn't violate any of the rules, it executes the task in the utmost ridiculous manner, publicly insulting you while doing so, if possible.

(I'm not sure what you mean by not causing frustration on your behalf, but I've taken it to mean it won't cause frustration to other people in your name)

My wish-

I wish to have a great expansion to my ability to view different wavelengths of light. From 10 cm wavelength to around 1 GHz wavelength.

This expansion to my visible spectrum must not scorch my retina in any way. My eye must not cease to work. There must be no problem with my brain receiving these impulses from my eye. These impulses must be efficiently and correctly decoded by my brain.

No aesthetic alterations must be done to my eyes. They must look as they look right now. My field of vision must not change. My eyes must not become over or undersensitive to light. My body must not suffer any side-effects from this.

My eyes must not suffer any damage.

I should not go mad. My psychological state must not be altered.

I guess that covers it.

EDIT: WOAH! the ninjas!

EDIT 2: voidus, you and I think a lot alike.

Edited by Mark IV
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I wish for a really good sandwich. The ingredients must be safe for human consumption, the sandwich must be made out of ingredients that are not endangered. The meat must be from animals considered morally acceptable to eat in western society. The sandwich must please me.

 

You receive the sandwich. It is wrapped with an indestructible material that means you can't ever eat it, only stare at it.

 

Mark IV posted a wish, so go with that.

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You receive the sandwich. It is wrapped with an indestructible material that means you can't ever eat it, only stare at it.

 

Mark IV posted a wish, so go with that.

 

Doesn't the wrapping go against this part of the rules

 

So if I wish for A million dollars, the giver can choose to bury me in one million dollars worth of pennies. But he can't as an example, give me a million dollars in paper than make a wind blow it all away. I didn't ask for a wind, so he cannot affect it.

by affecting the sandwich with something he didn't wish for, instead of an flaw within the actual wish?

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I wish for you to tell me what you consider an entertaining joke in completely verbal (or text based for the sake of this forum) form, while employing no words, symbols or other things that could negatively affect my sanity and including no incarnation that would lead to any supernatural phenomenon around my location.

This just makes think of Monty Python's "World's Funniest Joke". Which was lethal. 

 

The type of person that considers #495 to #649 the best pokemons to ever have been created, while the first generation is just glorified trash.  :ph34r:

See, I'm a fan of earth-type starters...

Edited by Haelbarde
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