Having a Bad Day?: Get 'yer Hugs here!!

[Orlion Blight]

Boo! Unexpected work at 3 in the afternoon on a Saturday! Boooo!

[Quiver]

5 hours ago, TwiLyghtSansSparkles said:

Venting about that doesn't make you an entitled brat. It makes you someone who's had a really crappy week. 

Hugs?

 

4 hours ago, Delightful said:

You can be an entitled brat regardless of wether you vent or not.

totally kidding . We all have our problems. 

*hugs*. Do something fun on the weekend.

I am a little aware that not everyone is comfortable with that kind of sentiments, which is why I didn't respond. But...

Yes. Hugs. Thanks, and much appreciated. At least I know that I'll have some days off next week - booked them for my sister's graduation- so...glad to have some time up.

Less happy that'd time keeping means I couldn't get the character sheet for my cleric finished, though. I had a 20 in wisdom! That was awesome! Sadly, not meant to be.

[TwiLyghtSansSparkles]

Question from a phone call with Twidad: 

"How are your finances?" 

I don't know, Dad, how are yours?  

[Oversleep]

5 minutes ago, TwiLyghtSansSparkles said:

Question from a phone call with Twidad: 

"How are your finances?" 

I don't know, Dad, how are yours?  

Maybe he is genuinely worried? I am not implying that his worries are grounded or anything, but parrents tend to have this "she/he is on his own, how is she/he doing?!" mindset. I wouldn't say it's a jab at you being unable to manage your finances, it's rather "parents be parents" thing.

[TwiLyghtSansSparkles]

24 minutes ago, Oversleep said:

Maybe he is genuinely worried? I am not implying that his worries are grounded or anything, but parrents tend to have this "she/he is on his own, how is she/he doing?!" mindset. I wouldn't say it's a jab at you being unable to manage your finances, it's rather "parents be parents" thing.

I'd be more inclined to believe that if, shortly before I moved out, my mom hadn't bullied me into telling her how much money I had in my bank account. 

[Kaymyth]

1 hour ago, Oversleep said:

Maybe he is genuinely worried? I am not implying that his worries are grounded or anything, but parrents tend to have this "she/he is on his own, how is she/he doing?!" mindset. I wouldn't say it's a jab at you being unable to manage your finances, it's rather "parents be parents" thing.

When it comes to Twi's parents, I'd say they're just chomping at the bit waiting for her to have "problems" so they can start lecturing her on how they knew New Orleans would turn out wrong and clearly she must move back yadda yadda blah blah feed the brain weasels wow shut up you arrogant twits.

...I don't like Twi's parents. 

[TwiLyghtSansSparkles]

3 minutes ago, Kaymyth said:

When it comes to Twi's parents, I'd say they're just chomping at the bit waiting for her to have "problems" so they can start lecturing her on how they knew New Orleans would turn out wrong and clearly she must move back yadda yadda blah blah feed the brain weasels wow shut up you arrogant twits.

...I don't like Twi's parents. 

That may not be far from the truth. A typical conversation with them goes like this: 

"Yeah, I saw the French Quarter yesterday. It was awesome! It's beautiful and there's a really distinctive atmosphere and so much music."
"I heard it's hot there. How are you handling the humidity?" 
"Eh, it's taking some getting used to, but I've got an AC unit." 
"I'll bet it's just awful. The weather in Spokane has been gorgeous lately." 

So. Yeah. Subtle brain warfare. 

[Kaymyth]

11 minutes ago, TwiLyghtSansSparkles said:

That may not be far from the truth. A typical conversation with them goes like this: 

"Yeah, I saw the French Quarter yesterday. It was awesome! It's beautiful and there's a really distinctive atmosphere and so much music."
"I heard it's hot there. How are you handling the humidity?" 
"Eh, it's taking some getting used to, but I've got an AC unit." 
"I'll bet it's just awful. The weather in Spokane has been gorgeous lately." 

So. Yeah. Subtle brain warfare. 

Take joy in the knowledge that every time to express your happiness at living in New Orleans, they experience a pang of despair.

[TwiLyghtSansSparkles]

Bruce: *has a relatively minor problem that Bruno and Mollie pulled through without incident*

Me: OH I HAVE FAILED YOU, MY SMUSHY-FACED FRIEND 
Me: PLEASE FORGIVE ME 
Me: I AM NOT WORTHY TO OWN A PET

[Claincy]

Normally I quite enjoy walking our dog. Things get a bit more difficult when he decides that to start pulling hard on the leash for no apparent reason, and keeps doing it. He's a border collie so he's quite strong. (My best guess is that he saw a car that he thought was ours so had part of his "pack" in it. I know for certain that he didn't see our car but there are similar ones around.) Which still would've been more manageable if it wasn't cold and wet and the leash he was pulling on wasn't resting on chillblains and my head didn't hurt.

(Normally he's actually quite good and doesn't really pull for me except on a main road or something similarly exciting.)

Edit: OK, back on good terms again Due to a combination of good behaviour and being cute.

Edited June 27, 2016 by Claincy

[Delightful]

2 hours ago, TwiLyghtSansSparkles said:

That may not be far from the truth. A typical conversation with them goes like this: 

"Yeah, I saw the French Quarter yesterday. It was awesome! It's beautiful and there's a really distinctive atmosphere and so much music."
"I heard it's hot there. How are you handling the humidity?" 
"Eh, it's taking some getting used to, but I've got an AC unit." 
"I'll bet it's just awful. The weather in Spokane has been gorgeous lately." 

So. Yeah. not so  Subtle brain warfare. 

I fixed it for you

 

youre an amazing pet owner and Bruce Wayne Batpug loves you, silly!

[ParadoxicalZen]

A little mopey today...and I'm not sure why

[Sunbird]

16 minutes ago, ParadoxSpren said:

A little mopey today...and I'm not sure why

If it makes you feel any better, I think your member title is genius. *hugs*

[ParadoxicalZen]

36 minutes ago, Sunbird said:

If it makes you feel any better, I think your member title is genius. *hugs*

A little, yeah

[Briar King]

My peace is about to be destroyed. Gaining my nephew and niece from Houston for a few xtra days which im xtremly happy about. Just wish it was next week instead after Iron Banner lol

[Queen Elsa Steelheart]

Just so exhausted because of end of term exams. ergh...:/

[Delightful]

My mother again. 

She keeps snapping at me, usually nothing to do with what I was actually saying, she just yells her point as if she's said it a million times and I wasn't listening. 

I ask her politely not to. 

She mutters "oh well I can't say anything right so I guess I'll just not talk to you"

me: well if you actually listened to what I was saying we could communicate instead of you just shutting me down-"

mum: quiet!

 

 

And I swear it has nothing to do with me. Wether she's nice or snappy or mad has absolutely nothing to do with anything that I do or say. It's just so frustrating to deal with. 

Edited June 28, 2016 by Delightful

[TwiLyghtSansSparkles]

1 hour ago, Delightful said:

My mother again. 

She keeps snapping at me, usually nothing to do with what I was actually saying, she just yells her point as if she's said it a million times and I wasn't listening. 

I ask her politely not to. 

She mutters "oh well I can't say anything right so I guess I'll just not talk to you"

me: well if you actually listened to what I was saying we could communicate instead of you just shutting me down-"

mum: quiet!

 

 

And I swear it has nothing to do with me. Wether she's nice or snappy or mad has absolutely nothing to do with anything that I do or say. It's just so frustrating to deal with. 

When my mom did this, I just stopped talking. 

I didn't give her the silent treatment, not exactly. But remember that old adage about how children shouldn't speak unless spoken to? If I spoke to her, it was in response to a question or something like that. I'd add a few pleasantries in there to make the whole thing less obvious. 

Now, you may ask, did she notice?

Of course she did. She was determined to be upset with me about something, and by Ruin, she was going to use any excuse she could find. Her lectures changes form, from "Here you go again with the snotty disrespect" to "You never talk to me anymore!" However, the frequency of those lectures decreased. It has to. She had nothing to lecture me about anymore. 

[Delightful]

20 minutes ago, TwiLyghtSansSparkles said:

When my mom did this, I just stopped talking. 

I didn't give her the silent treatment, not exactly. But remember that old adage about how children shouldn't speak unless spoken to? If I spoke to her, it was in response to a question or something like that. I'd add a few pleasantries in there to make the whole thing less obvious. 

Now, you may ask, did she notice?

Of course she did. She was determined to be upset with me about something, and by Ruin, she was going to use any excuse she could find. Her lectures changes form, from "Here you go again with the snotty disrespect" to "You never talk to me anymore!" However, the frequency of those lectures decreased. It has to. She had nothing to lecture me about anymore. 

The problem with that is that half the time my mum is great, and I can't tell when she's been bitten by the cranky bug until it's too late.  And then when I'm quiet or whatever I just get these big sighs  

She just told me I shouldn't get a job (that I've been offered!) that would involve major life change b while I'm planning major life change a, for no logic, just because "I don't think you can do it".  

Maybe I can, maybe I can't but it needs thinking through! 

And like dude, so you think I'm incapable fine, but I'm not going to get any *more* capable by avoiding anything difficult and sitting at home twiddling my thumbs all day! 

And maybe if she was in a good mood she would think i could do it I have no idea. 

[TwiLyghtSansSparkles]

43 minutes ago, Delightful said:

The problem with that is that half the time my mum is great, and I can't tell when she's been bitten by the cranky bug until it's too late.  And then when I'm quiet or whatever I just get these big sighs  

The same can be said of my mom. 

If you met her, you wouldn't be blindsided by a stream of unfounded criticism and negativity. Rather, you'd probably find her friendly, hospitable, open, and always in the mood for a good laugh—not always at someone else's expense. That's why it took me years to even realize I needed to get away, because much of the time, she seemed like a good parent and a good person. I could rationalize her bad moods away as my fault, or as a bad day she'd had, and it wasn't until one day when she threw a tantrum (and that's the only word for it—she stomped around the kitchen, put dinner on the table, gave this spiel about how she was "done making nice dinners for you—from now on you're eating crap out of boxes!" before taking a plate to her room and slamming the door) because I'd done the wrong favor for her (she called me into the kitchen, but I didn't come because I was putting a load of laundry in, and when I came into the kitchen she did her "Never mind, I did it myself" routine) that I realized the problem wasn't mine, it was hers. I wasn't doing anything wrong, I wasn't catching her in a bad mood, it was her. She was acting like a spoiled teenager, and she was the one who needed to change her attitude. 

43 minutes ago, Delightful said:

She just told me I shouldn't get a job (that I've been offered!) that would involve major life change b while I'm planning major life change a, for no logic, just because "I don't think you can do it".  

Maybe I can, maybe I can't but it needs thinking through! 

And like dude, so you think I'm incapable fine, but I'm not going to get any *more* capable by avoiding anything difficult and sitting at home twiddling my thumbs all day! 

And maybe if she was in a good mood she would think i could do it I have no idea. 

Oddly enough, that's fairly similar to what made me decided talking to her wasn't worth it. 

Our routine went like this: 

ME: Mom, I just applied for a job in Boston! 
MOM: Okay. Have you considered what it would cost to move there?
ME: Yes. I've been saving money for the past two years so I'd have my expenses covered when I moved out. 
MOM: You'll have to rent a U-Haul, and pay the first month's rent, not to mention pay for the gas and hotels along the way. 
ME: Mom, I just said I've been saving for two years. 
MOM: Because if you're not prepared for this, it's going to hit you right in the pocketbook. 
ME: ….are you even listening. 

And then later on….

MOM: I found a job for you! 
ME: Mom, I told you I don't want you looking at jobs for me. 
MOM: It's two hours away from Spokane! You could live on your own and see us when you wanted to! 
ME: That's a job as a web developer. I have zero training in web development. I mean, I know basic coding, but I did my final project for that class wrong and had to ask my teacher for help. And don't even get me started on how little I understand metadata. 
MOM: *heavy sigh* Why don't you want to do this?
ME: Um, because it's not even in the same league as my training and even if I got the job, they'd spend more on training than they would paying my salary? 
MOM: I don't understand why you're being so stubborn about this! You don't even want to live in the same zip code as us! 

Her mood had nothing to do with it. Heck, she's said repeatedly that it doesn't matter if I'm in a bad mood; I have to be polite and kind to everyone no matter what. What mattered to her was that I wasn't doing what she wanted—that is, applying exclusively for jobs in the Northwest, whether they matched my skills or education level or not—and to her mind, this gave her the right to treat me badly. Which is bull, because if I treated her half as bad as she can treat me, she'd kick me out. 

It's not you, Delightful. It's her. You're not catching her in a bad mood; she's choosing to indulge her bad moods. You're not saying the wrong things; you're just not saying what she wants and she's punishing you for it. When Twimom did that, I stopped telling her about my life. If she asked, I'd give her the bare minimum of information to satisfy her; and yes, that made her angry, but there wasn't much she could do about it except bluster. 

[Delightful]

@TwiLyghtSansSparkles I know, you're right, its just hard cause I could do with some advice and support. I don't know If this job is a good idea or not. And now I can't rely on the person I always could and it's awful. And it's so great when she's in a good mood. 

And I don't have a job atm so my savings aren't brilliant either....

hugs?

Edited June 28, 2016 by Delightful

[TwiLyghtSansSparkles]

Just now, Delightful said:

@TwiLyghtSansSparkles I know, you're right, its just hard cause I could do with some advice and support. And now I can't rely on the person I always could and it's awful. And it's so great when she's in a good mood. 

And I don't have a job atm so my savings aren't brilliant either....

hugs?

Hugs.  

If I were you, I'd take the job regardless of her disapproval. She hasn't outright forbidden you from taking it, has she? If you take it, she'll be put in the position of either having to forbid you from working (going against her own desire to have you work) or swallow her pride and let you work. Take it, work it, and save the money. Don't ever blame her for not letting you take it. Don't give her the ammo. 

As for support, I know what you mean. I grew up thinking my mom was my best friend, and when I realized she wasn't….well, to call it a crushing blow would be putting it mildly. Just know you always have us. We're not your parents, but we're always here to listen, commiserate, and post pugs and corgis.  

[Mestiv]

4 minutes ago, TwiLyghtSansSparkles said:

We're not your parents, but we're always here to listen, commiserate, and post pugs and corgis.

And caaatsss!!!

Spoiler

 

[TwiLyghtSansSparkles]

Would a wolf that sounds like Chewbacca help?  

[Delightful]

3 hours ago, TwiLyghtSansSparkles said:

Hugs.  

If I were you, I'd take the job regardless of her disapproval. She hasn't outright forbidden you from taking it, has she? If you take it, she'll be put in the position of either having to forbid you from working (going against her own desire to have you work) or swallow her pride and let you work. Take it, work it, and save the money. Don't ever blame her for not letting you take it. Don't give her the ammo. 

As for support, I know what you mean. I grew up thinking my mom was my best friend, and when I realized she wasn't….well, to call it a crushing blow would be putting it mildly. Just know you always have us. We're not your parents, but we're always here to listen, commiserate, and post pugs and corgis.  

 

3 hours ago, Mestiv said:

And caaatsss!!!

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Esit: @TwiLyghtSansSparkles.......I have a confession to make. @Mestiv's cats  are cuter than pugs.  

Edited June 28, 2016 by Delightful
Also that wolf is a lot squeaker than I expected.