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*hugs*

I'm sorry, Szeth. A lot of that sounds really awful. It's the worst when things get all bottled up inside.

Maybe try to clear the communication channels with your parents? From what you said, I can tell things are really difficult right now, but maybe you could express how you've been having a hard time lately, so it feels unfair to be treated this way because you're doing the absolute best you can. You can tell them that you're in the place right now where it really hurts to be criticized about the minor things and ask them to express themselves differently. Personally, this is the approach that's worked for me, but I understand that all situations are different and you should do what you think is best. 

Another thing you could try doing is finding a way to let your emotions out. Maybe it sounds silly and one more 'annoying thing' to do, but it's truly worth doing. For me, it's playing piano, but I've known people who have started running, writing, drawing, or anything that expresses themselves and it's been so helpful for them. Just take about 10 minutes a day to find something to do that expresses yourself and I think you'll notice a difference. Things won't immediately be better, but maybe it'll help. Also, talking to people always helps.

Also, I'm sorry that you have to deal with that cousin. Like what the heck, he shouldn't be able to do things like that and barely get punished. And I don't like that you are the one who has to worry that "he'll be pissed". It doesn't sound like a fun situation.

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19 hours ago, Ookla the 3 Frogs ina Coat said:

I'm having kind of a bad time of it lately...... i have the sense my parents are talking a lot about me behind my back, which i get it, parents do, but just more than usual, and they're being very difficult and stubborn about a lot of things and are getting upset at me very easily, especially if i cry or express how i feel in anything other than calm and measured tones, and bottling everything up around them is getting extremely draining and tiring and is resulting in more angry outbursts towards them about minor things which just starts the whole cycle over again. And i'm managing school a little better than i was at the beginning of the year, but the work is still difficult and i'm procrastinating a lot on accident, which is making it harder. And last friday a certain cousin of mine who is older and stronger than me and absolutely knows better physically attacked me over some chocolate Hanukkah gelt, and he barely got punished for it, and now family gatherings are going to be even more difficult for me because he's gonna be more pissed at me than usual, and the band-aid that i put on my wrist where he scratched me irritated my eczema severely (which my parents still will not take me to a docter about despite literal years of begging) and now my wrist really hurts.

 

Sorry, i know that was a lot, i just really needed to vent about all of it. hugs would be appreciated :(

Hugs Szeth that sounds stressful. It's rough to deal with multiple things like that at a time! I hope everything clears up and you start feeling better :(

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*hugs* @Ookla the 3 Frogs ina Coat

szeth I'm so sorry about that. i wish i could give you a hug in real life, but sadly, the most i can do is hugs over the internets.

my PMs are always open, you know that, it's so fun to talk to you, and it hurts to see you suffering this much.

we all love you, and think you're an amazing person to have on the Shard and in the world.

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I'm so sorry Szeth! Parents can be horrible and they don't have any right to behave that way towards you 

It's really unfair how they are treating you. I hope things get better for you and my PM's are always open if you wanna talk and vent (or even get excited over TRC) 

Lots of hugs <333

Edited by Elf of Ooklas
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All of you are so kind, thank you for the hugs and encouragement :)

19 hours ago, Ookla the Debonair said:

Another thing you could try doing is finding a way to let your emotions out. Maybe it sounds silly and one more 'annoying thing' to do, but it's truly worth doing. For me, it's playing piano, but I've known people who have started running, writing, drawing, or anything that expresses themselves and it's been so helpful for them. Just take about 10 minutes a day to find something to do that expresses yourself and I think you'll notice a difference. Things won't immediately be better, but maybe it'll help. Also, talking to people always helps.

Yeah, i try to let my frustration out in productive ways, and it does work sometimes but often it just doesn't feel like enough :( talking to people i know irl about stuff like this is really really hard for me but i think im going to try. I really appreciate all of your advice :)

29 minutes ago, Ookla the Crow said:

*hugs* @Ookla the 3 Frogs ina Coat

szeth I'm so sorry about that. i wish i could give you a hug in real life, but sadly, the most i can do is hugs over the internets.

my PMs are always open, you know that, it's so fun to talk to you, and it hurts to see you suffering this much.

we all love you, and think you're an amazing person to have on the Shard and in the world.

 

19 minutes ago, Elf of Ooklas said:

I'm so sorry Szeth! Parents can be horrible and they don't have any right to behave that way towards you 

It's really unfair how they are treating you. I hope things get better for you and my PM's are always open if you wanna talk and vent (or even get excited over TRC) 

Lots of hugs <333

I might take you guys up on the pm offer if it gets worse :(

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1 minute ago, Ookla the 3 Frogs ina Coat said:

All of you are so kind, thank you for the hugs and encouragement :)

Yeah, i try to let my frustration out in productive ways, and it does work sometimes but often it just doesn't feel like enough :( talking to people i know irl about stuff like this is really really hard for me but i think im going to try. I really appreciate all of your advice :)

I might take you guys up on the pm offer if it gets worse :(

I get what you're saying about talking to people. I'm not good at that either. It helps though! It's worth it. My PMs are also always open if you need to talk.

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If you do take up the offer, I'll be very glad to listen. I'm here for you and so is every body else   

Remember that it will get better 

Here's some quotes from one of my most favourite books 

Quote

It has been a hard and lonely life, she says, and a wonderful one, too. She has lived through wars, and fought in them, witnessed revolutions and rebirth. She has left her mark on a thousand works of art, like a thumbprint in the bottom of a drying bowl. She has seen marvels, and gone mad, has danced in snowbanks and frozen to death along the Seine. She fell in love with the darkness many times, fell in love with a human once.

And she is tired. Unspeakably tired.

But there is no question she has lived.

'Nothing is all good or all bad,' she says. 'Life is is much messier than that.'

And there in the dark, he asks if it was really worth it.

Were the instants of joy worth the stretches of sorrow?

Were the moments of beauty worth the years of pain?

And she turns her head, and looks at him, and says, 'Always.' 

 

Quote

Do you know how to live three hundred years?” she says. And when he asks how, she smiles. “The same way you live one. A second at a time

 

Quote

There is a defiance in being a dreamer.

 

Quote

There are days when she mourns the prospect of another year, another decade, another century. There are nights when she cannot sleep, moments when she lies awake and dreams of dying.

But then she wakes, and sees the pink and orange dawn against the clouds, or hears the lament of a lone fiddle, the music and the melody, and remembers there is such beauty in the world.

And she does not want to miss it—any of it.

 

Quote

“But this is how you walk to the end of the world. This is how you live forever. Here is one day, and here is the next, and the next, and you take what you can, savor every stolen second, cling to every moment, until it's gone.” -The Invisible Life of Addie Larue 

 

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On 11/27/2022 at 1:06 PM, Ookla the 3 Frogs ina Coat said:

I'm having kind of a bad time of it lately...... i have the sense my parents are talking a lot about me behind my back, which i get it, parents do, but just more than usual, and they're being very difficult and stubborn about a lot of things and are getting upset at me very easily, especially if i cry or express how i feel in anything other than calm and measured tones, and bottling everything up around them is getting extremely draining and tiring and is resulting in more angry outbursts towards them about minor things which just starts the whole cycle over again. And i'm managing school a little better than i was at the beginning of the year, but the work is still difficult and i'm procrastinating a lot on accident, which is making it harder. And last friday a certain cousin of mine who is older and stronger than me and absolutely knows better physically attacked me over some chocolate Hanukkah gelt, and he barely got punished for it, and now family gatherings are going to be even more difficult for me because he's gonna be more pissed at me than usual, and the band-aid that i put on my wrist where he scratched me irritated my eczema severely (which my parents still will not take me to a docter about despite literal years of begging) and now my wrist really hurts.

 

Sorry, i know that was a lot, i just really needed to vent about all of it. hugs would be appreciated :(

I know I'm a day late, but I am so sorry. It's the worst when everything bottles up and explodes all at once and then...no one cares. I recently missed a ton of school, and now I don't understand any of it. Being behind in school is the worst. Don't beat yourself up about procrastinating. There's a lot to do, and while you should do it, it's also really hard to get started. Do what you can, but take it slow and remember that school isn't the most important thing. It does matter, but take time for yourself too. I'm so sorry also about everything else. People are jerks, and I have no idea how to deal with them. If I knew you irl, I would give you a hug. Virtual will have to do. *hugs*

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On 11/25/2022 at 9:48 AM, Spren of Kindness said:

I'm mildly sick right now, and it sucks.  It's just a cough and tiredness, I'm not even running a fever, but it is not enjoyable to cough so violently you think you're going to hurl.

*hugs* i just got sick like that. I had to sit next to my sick younger brother for 6 hours in a cramped car, so that's how I got it. *hugs again* get well soon. 

On 11/27/2022 at 1:06 PM, Ookla the 3 Frogs ina Coat said:

I'm having kind of a bad time of it lately...... i have the sense my parents are talking a lot about me behind my back, which i get it, parents do, but just more than usual, and they're being very difficult and stubborn about a lot of things and are getting upset at me very easily, especially if i cry or express how i feel in anything other than calm and measured tones, and bottling everything up around them is getting extremely draining and tiring and is resulting in more angry outbursts towards them about minor things which just starts the whole cycle over again. And i'm managing school a little better than i was at the beginning of the year, but the work is still difficult and i'm procrastinating a lot on accident, which is making it harder. And last friday a certain cousin of mine who is older and stronger than me and absolutely knows better physically attacked me over some chocolate Hanukkah gelt, and he barely got punished for it, and now family gatherings are going to be even more difficult for me because he's gonna be more pissed at me than usual, and the band-aid that i put on my wrist where he scratched me irritated my eczema severely (which my parents still will not take me to a docter about despite literal years of begging) and now my wrist really hurts.

 

Sorry, i know that was a lot, i just really needed to vent about all of it. hugs would be appreciated :(

*hugs* *hugs* *hugs* *hugs* *hugs* *hugs* *hugs* *hugs*

I haven't had most of those experiences, but the ones I have had suckI hope you feel better and stay safe and get your parents to do what you need and get caught up and are able to deal with everything. I don't know what else to say so... *hugs* *hugs* *hugs* *hugs* *hugs* *hugs* *hugs*

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On 11/27/2022 at 2:06 PM, Ookla the 3 Frogs ina Coat said:

I'm having kind of a bad time of it lately...... i have the sense my parents are talking a lot about me behind my back, which i get it, parents do, but just more than usual, and they're being very difficult and stubborn about a lot of things and are getting upset at me very easily, especially if i cry or express how i feel in anything other than calm and measured tones, and bottling everything up around them is getting extremely draining and tiring and is resulting in more angry outbursts towards them about minor things which just starts the whole cycle over again. And i'm managing school a little better than i was at the beginning of the year, but the work is still difficult and i'm procrastinating a lot on accident, which is making it harder. And last friday a certain cousin of mine who is older and stronger than me and absolutely knows better physically attacked me over some chocolate Hanukkah gelt, and he barely got punished for it, and now family gatherings are going to be even more difficult for me because he's gonna be more pissed at me than usual, and the band-aid that i put on my wrist where he scratched me irritated my eczema severely (which my parents still will not take me to a docter about despite literal years of begging) and now my wrist really hurts.

 

Sorry, i know that was a lot, i just really needed to vent about all of it. hugs would be appreciated :(

Wow. I am so sorry. *Hugs* You're awesome.

We all have challenges, and look at how well you've done! You've improved!

I hope things end up going better for you, and I'm so sorry that you've had to deal with this. I hope you'll be able to set things right and be happy.

Good luck out there, the world is a rough place. I'm so glad there are good people like you in it.

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I realized that I've been overworking myself yesterday when I started crying about speech stuff. And now my parents want me to email my speech coaches about the stuff I was crying about but if I'm being honest, I'm scared of my speech coaches. I went straight from crying to a show choir rehearsal. The result of which is my left knee is so bruised it hurts to walk. And the other knee is just sore from all the dancing. And then when I got home I found out that my grandfather has meningioma. They're figuring out what they're going to do about it today. Which for some reason made me start crying this morning. Even though I'm really not that worried about it. And I hate crying so that was a great way to start my day. Plus people have been accidentally triggering me all day.

So I'm just kind of done with today.

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1 hour ago, InfiniteInsanity said:

I realized that I've been overworking myself yesterday when I started crying about speech stuff. And now my parents want me to email my speech coaches about the stuff I was crying about but if I'm being honest, I'm scared of my speech coaches. I went straight from crying to a show choir rehearsal. The result of which is my left knee is so bruised it hurts to walk. And the other knee is just sore from all the dancing. And then when I got home I found out that my grandfather has meningioma. They're figuring out what they're going to do about it today. Which for some reason made me start crying this morning. Even though I'm really not that worried about it. And I hate crying so that was a great way to start my day. Plus people have been accidentally triggering me all day.

So I'm just kind of done with today.

*Hugs* Hmmmmm, as usual, I'm completely baffled as to how to help people out here. My advice, personally, would be above all things to get more sleep and make certain you have time to relax. I'm really sorry you've been having a rough time lately. Talk to people you trust and know will be able to help you, because we can try to give support, but those people will be the ones who can really relate and more accurately help you through your problems. Good luck! I hope you're feeling better soon!

Music is something that helps me calm down when I'm really overwhelmed. I would recommend you listen to Mendelsohn's Violin concerto in E minor, op 64, or Largo from the sonata in G minor for cello by Henry Eccles.

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1 hour ago, InfiniteInsanity said:

I realized that I've been overworking myself yesterday when I started crying about speech stuff. And now my parents want me to email my speech coaches about the stuff I was crying about but if I'm being honest, I'm scared of my speech coaches. I went straight from crying to a show choir rehearsal. The result of which is my left knee is so bruised it hurts to walk. And the other knee is just sore from all the dancing. And then when I got home I found out that my grandfather has meningioma. They're figuring out what they're going to do about it today. Which for some reason made me start crying this morning. Even though I'm really not that worried about it. And I hate crying so that was a great way to start my day. Plus people have been accidentally triggering me all day.

So I'm just kind of done with today.

I'm sorry. That sounds awful.

To be honest, it's okay to be done with the day. Take some time for yourself. Life is difficult, and no one can keep up with it all the time. 

We're here for you, and we believe in you.

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1 hour ago, InfiniteInsanity said:

I realized that I've been overworking myself yesterday when I started crying about speech stuff. And now my parents want me to email my speech coaches about the stuff I was crying about but if I'm being honest, I'm scared of my speech coaches. I went straight from crying to a show choir rehearsal. The result of which is my left knee is so bruised it hurts to walk. And the other knee is just sore from all the dancing. And then when I got home I found out that my grandfather has meningioma. They're figuring out what they're going to do about it today. Which for some reason made me start crying this morning. Even though I'm really not that worried about it. And I hate crying so that was a great way to start my day. Plus people have been accidentally triggering me all day.

So I'm just kind of done with today.

That sucks Insa. I'm also quite done with today, I'm in math class and struggling bad. I know that doesn't compare to why you're day is bad, but I can relate to you right now, if only a bit.

*hugs* we're here for you if you need us.

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1 hour ago, InfiniteInsanity said:

I realized that I've been overworking myself yesterday when I started crying about speech stuff. And now my parents want me to email my speech coaches about the stuff I was crying about but if I'm being honest, I'm scared of my speech coaches. I went straight from crying to a show choir rehearsal. The result of which is my left knee is so bruised it hurts to walk. And the other knee is just sore from all the dancing. And then when I got home I found out that my grandfather has meningioma. They're figuring out what they're going to do about it today. Which for some reason made me start crying this morning. Even though I'm really not that worried about it. And I hate crying so that was a great way to start my day. Plus people have been accidentally triggering me all day.

So I'm just kind of done with today.

I'm sorry that sucks Insa. Take some time for yourself as it seems like you are doing a lot right now. Find those that you can talk to about your life and what you have going on. 

We are all here for you.

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5 hours ago, InfiniteInsanity said:

I realized that I've been overworking myself yesterday when I started crying about speech stuff. And now my parents want me to email my speech coaches about the stuff I was crying about but if I'm being honest, I'm scared of my speech coaches. I went straight from crying to a show choir rehearsal. The result of which is my left knee is so bruised it hurts to walk. And the other knee is just sore from all the dancing. And then when I got home I found out that my grandfather has meningioma. They're figuring out what they're going to do about it today. Which for some reason made me start crying this morning. Even though I'm really not that worried about it. And I hate crying so that was a great way to start my day. Plus people have been accidentally triggering me all day.

So I'm just kind of done with today.

*Hugs* That sounds like a truly terrible day, and a completely justified reaction to it. I'm sorry, and I don't know what to say, but please do take care of yourself. I believe in you and I hope you untangle this. *more hugs* x

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On 11/28/2022 at 11:28 AM, Elf of Ooklas said:

If you do take up the offer, I'll be very glad to listen. I'm here for you and so is every body else   

Remember that it will get better 

Here's some quotes from one of my most favourite books 

These are all so pretty and they helped me a lot, thank you elf <3

21 hours ago, InfiniteInsanity said:

I realized that I've been overworking myself yesterday when I started crying about speech stuff. And now my parents want me to email my speech coaches about the stuff I was crying about but if I'm being honest, I'm scared of my speech coaches. I went straight from crying to a show choir rehearsal. The result of which is my left knee is so bruised it hurts to walk. And the other knee is just sore from all the dancing. And then when I got home I found out that my grandfather has meningioma. They're figuring out what they're going to do about it today. Which for some reason made me start crying this morning. Even though I'm really not that worried about it. And I hate crying so that was a great way to start my day. Plus people have been accidentally triggering me all day.

So I'm just kind of done with today.

*hugs hugs hugs* That sounds miserable, i'm so sorry :( i don't know how to help but i do know that a cup of tea and a really good sleep always helps me to collect myself when i'm dealing with hard things. I hope you find a good balance with your work and your health so don't feel overworked :( :(

Edited by Ookla the 3 Frogs ina Coat
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This is why i hate my birthday

Today I went out to celebrate it with my friends cause yesterday they were all busy and i was so excited cause it was the first time i was allowed to go out to celebrate 

And you know i got a new haircut. I got bangs like Wednesday Addams and every single body made fun of them. Said i looked creepy and like a drunkard and a drug addict.  

And i was also told my face is "puffy" and called "chubby" many times today

And then we were going to a restaurant to have dinner and my best friend ditched me for her new boy toy. I got in huge trouble with my mom today cause she insisted that i come over to her house so she could do my makeup. I told her no and she still called up my mom and asked her. And my mom went off at me saying that i shouldn't ask my friends to talk to her when i literally told this girl not to 

So she ditched me. And the later she did end up coming but spent the entire time talking with her boyfriend. And none of the conversation included me. They all just basically ignored.me

I'm always ignored. Always the outsider. I thought i was fitting in finally. But no, I'm always the loser. 

My birthdays always go horribly. And for the first time i thought it wouldn't, but no. Of course not. 

Edited by Elf of Ooklas
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*hugs hugs hugs hugs hug hugs hugs so much hugs*

elf I'm so so sorry that happened/happens to you. That is absolutely a horrible thing, especially on a day that should definitely be about you.

i'm so insanely sorry, and I hope you find better friends. these don't seem like good ones.

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*hugs*

That's downright stupid.

I like your haircut! I think those people don't know what they're talking about.

I'm sorry you had to go through that awful day. You deserve so much better. You're a wonderful person, and I think the people that are ignoring you are missing a gem right in from of their eyes.

Their loss, I think.

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