Having a Bad Day?: Get 'yer Hugs here!!

[Darth Woodrack]

Talk to them and apologize. Explain it. Hopefully they will work.

[+Slowswift]

*mails hugbots to various people*

[SongStorm]

When I registered in this forum I said I was suicidal like Kaladin.

But it doesnt even compare to how bad I feel today. I feel like Kaladin looking directly at the chasm at the beginning of TWoK.

Send hugs !!!!!!!

[Truthless of Shinovar]

3 hours ago, SongStorm said:

When I registered in this forum I said I was suicidal like Kaladin.

But it doesnt even compare to how bad I feel today. I feel like Kaladin looking directly at the chasm at the beginning of TWoK.

Send hugs !!!!!!!

Hey fam, we got you. I responded to your first post about this, and everything I said there still holds up now. I haven’t had the chance to interact with you much, but from what I’ve seen, you are awesome. Period. I know that you are incredible, and if the world seems against you, please please please please please please PLEASE know that I want you. You are someone unique and wonderful, and the world without you would change for the worst if you were to disappear. I urge you, hold on, have hope in happiness, and know that one day it will come. PM me anytime, I want to help you through your struggles!

Edited December 18, 2019 by Ookla the Imperial

[AonEne]

1 hour ago, Ookla the Imperial said:

Hey fam, we got you. I responded to your first post about this, and everything I said there still holds up now. I haven’t had the chance to interact with you much, but from what I’ve seen, you are awesome. Period. I know that you are incredible, and if the world seems against you, please please please please please please PLEASE know that I want you. You are someone unique and wonderful, and the world without you would change for the worst of you were to disappear. I urge you, hold on, have hope in happiness, and know that one day it will come. PM me anytime, I want to help you through your struggles!

ALL OF THIS ^^^ 

Kaladin found hope too! He’s living even though he’s depressed. It is possible and it is worth it! 

[Maxgy]

I'm feeling kind of lonely right now, feeling like I don't matter. I could use a couple hugs.

[+Ed Venture]

Quote

I'm feeling kind of lonely right now, feeling like I don't matter. I could use a couple hugs.

@Maxgy

Dude? Loneliness is the worst. I’m sorry that you’re feeling bad right now. But if you ever want to talk, I am always down for a conversation. *hugs* Have a good rest of the day. *thumbs up*

Edited December 18, 2019 by Ookla the Journey

[+ZincAboutIt]

I'm totally at a loss of what I'm going to do with the remainder of my life. I have no goals or aspirations, there is nothing that I'm really looking forward to. I'm staring down the better part of (statistically) ~sixty more years of living and I have no idea what on earth I'm going to do with all that time. It seems like such a long while, and I already feel like I've done everything that I really want to do. I don't like travelling, I don't have a "bucket list," I don't enjoy projects or other such things. So much time feels impossibly daunting, and feels like such a terrible obligation. I'm just very overwhelmed with this prospect.

[Kidpen]

6 hours ago, ZincAboutIt said:

I'm totally at a loss of what I'm going to do with the remainder of my life. I have no goals or aspirations, there is nothing that I'm really looking forward to. I'm staring down the better part of (statistically) ~sixty more years of living and I have no idea what on earth I'm going to do with all that time. It seems like such a long while, and I already feel like I've done everything that I really want to do. I don't like travelling, I don't have a "bucket list," I don't enjoy projects or other such things. So much time feels impossibly daunting, and feels like such a terrible obligation. I'm just very overwhelmed with this prospect.

Can you think of something to do with tomorrow? What about the next day? The next week? The next month? I think when it comes down to it these questions are most important. A lifetime is made up of years, a year is made up of months, months are made up of weeks and weeks are made up of days. The most important step is the next one.

On the other hand, I'm a small child who doesn't really know much about life, so idk how valid this advice is. So *hugs*!!!!

[Showman]

14 hours ago, ZincAboutIt said:

I'm totally at a loss of what I'm going to do with the remainder of my life. I have no goals or aspirations, there is nothing that I'm really looking forward to. I'm staring down the better part of (statistically) ~sixty more years of living and I have no idea what on earth I'm going to do with all that time. It seems like such a long while, and I already feel like I've done everything that I really want to do. I don't like travelling, I don't have a "bucket list," I don't enjoy projects or other such things. So much time feels impossibly daunting, and feels like such a terrible obligation. I'm just very overwhelmed with this prospect.

Hey, you know what, sometimes that's ok. Two years into high school, I have less of an idea of what career I want than before high school. I have no clue about my future, only a couple specific goals.

I recently moved, and for a while, my family didn't have a house, a car, and I had to start life completely over, never knowing what to expect from the next day. I had to just take it one day at a time. As for things to do, I believe it's always possible to find something to do. Music, athletics, clubs, writing, geeking out about Sanderson (you're on this forum already!), or even just trying make the day better for everyone you interact with (this works and will keep you plenty busy). Make a goal, short term or long term, and you might find yourself with a new hobby. *hugs*

[Nathrangking]

15 hours ago, ZincAboutIt said:

I'm totally at a loss of what I'm going to do with the remainder of my life. I have no goals or aspirations, there is nothing that I'm really looking forward to. I'm staring down the better part of (statistically) ~sixty more years of living and I have no idea what on earth I'm going to do with all that time. It seems like such a long while, and I already feel like I've done everything that I really want to do. I don't like travelling, I don't have a "bucket list," I don't enjoy projects or other such things. So much time feels impossibly daunting, and feels like such a terrible obligation. I'm just very overwhelmed with this prospect.

*Hugs* To add to what others said I can speak to not knowing what to do tomorrow. I thought that I had an aspiration for the rest of my life and it fell apart. Living day by day can open many doors. Designate a task for yourself each day try new things it is possible that you will discover new love or interest as @Ookla the Showman said. It is terrifying to think that there is nothing for you. However, life is constantly evolving in ways that we least expect. Don't lose hope for the future!!  Instead of racing into the future only worry about tomorrow!! Let that occupy you and guide your way through this! Journey before destination!!

[Zelly]

Hey there folks. I'm not having a bad day myself, but I thought I'd share something with you if you're going through some dark times.

https://www.futureme.org/   Write an email to yourself.....but you won't receive it for years.

I've been using this for awhile now  (usually when I'm in a sad place and have a lot of questions about who I am and what I'm doing).  It's nice now because journaling and dumping my thoughts in writing helps me vent and focus.  It's nice in the future because, wow, things.......things change.  Not everything. And maybe not what you want.  But....it blows my mind the things that were different just a year or two ago, let alone 5-10.  Wants, needs, priorities, people.....life is weird.

Anyway, try it out.

Also I recommend reading the public letters that people let be posted anonymously.  They are a beautiful mess of us all being beautiful messes. 

You're not alone.

[+Wax]

 

.......

Edited December 23, 2019 by Wax
Deleted

[Nathrangking]

I rarely get sick so I suppose that I was due. 4 or so days ago I started coughing but I had no other symptoms. 2 days ago I got an annoying headache on top of the coughing. I took my temperature that 'night and discovered a fever. I went to the doctor yesterday with a slightly sore throat, fever, and cough. He did a quick examination did not tell me what was wrong and prescribed antibiotics. My research has revealed that this is potent stuff used when lesser antibiotics won't work. It is sometimes used to cure anthrax and plague which makes me wonder what did my doctor know that he did not bother to mention. Meanwhile my sickness goes on and I just have to ride it out. End rant...

[Draginon]

Had a small bit of badness while in Florida for Christmas.

On Christmas Eve there was this kid that was so badly behaved I was thinking ‘why is he going on the same boat as me?’ since my mom and I were taking the boat/water taxi from Hollywood Studios to Epcot. This kid was supposedly 8 but he was kicking and hollering, to the point that one wishes someone would shut the brat up, was in a stroller and the mother claims he acts that way because he doesn’t take too well being out at night. It was already 2-3 hours past sunset at that point so if that’s the case why were they only going back at that time? The father apparently had gone back earlier with the other children so why didn’t he take this brat with him if he only acts like that after dark? The mom also claimed the motion of the boat would soothe him but I could still hear him making a fuss from the other end of the boat. I don’t know what that kids deal is but the parents need to put him on something.

Then on Christmas Day I woke up just fine but when I went to eat breakfast I just couldn’t manage more than a few bites. As soon as I had stood up my stomach started going like I needed to puke so I rushed to the nearest toilet where it turned out I had bad diarrhea. My mom and I had planned to go to Hollywood Studios that day to do the Star Wars stuff but with me needing to go to the bathroom every so often I didn’t want to chance getting on a ride and needing the toilet halfway in. This lasted for a couple more days before it started getting normal. My mom thinks it was bad oil from the fish and chips we ate the night before.

[Lunamor]

(Spoiler because this ended up being pretty long)

Spoiler

So recently things haven’t been great for me. A little while ago I found out that a muscular disorder I have that was supposed to be stable and not get any worse has actually started to get worse. This was not supposed to happen and is terrifying to me. Before things got worse I could manage with some physical therapy, but at this point nothing can help. All I can do is hope that things don’t get worse. On top of that it was found out that I now have a serious vitamin deficiency. I have almost zero of it in my bloodstream. I tried taking supplements to fix it, but my body can’t absorb any of it and I just have to deal with the symptoms. The deficiency has caused me to become constantly tired and weak, and the chances of it going away seem slim. Both of these things combined have made simple tasks like walking up the stairs cause my muscles to burn. I can’t stand up for more than half an hour without my joints hurting a ton. Even a five minute walk is enough to make my muscles spasm. I avoid walking whenever possible because it’s humiliating how many strange looks I get for breathing hard. People are usually sympathetic once I explain why I have so much trouble, but I can’t explain that to everyone and am thought to just be incredibly lazy or a wimp. This has resulted in greatly increased anxiety and depression. I’ve been able to keep those mental problems at bay by convincing myself that I have no reason for them, but I can’t use that excuse anymore. I have lost almost all of my motivation to do stuff. Sometimes it’s so bad that all I can do is sit and stare at the wall. I have started to randomly have breakdowns over things, and it is extremely humiliating when I burst into tears in public for seemingly no reason. I’ve stopped doing things that used to make me happy because I just get so anxious about them. I’ve tried going to therapists in the past for this stuff, but they didn’t help at all. I have had so many traumatizing experiences with doctors that I don’t think I can make myself go again. If I try and talk about my problems to people they just say that if I work hard they will go away. Or that I’m somehow “lucky” for having a muscular disorder because I never had to go to PE. Sorry this ended up being so long, I just needed somewhere to rant. 

   

[Jaywalk]

12 minutes ago, Lunamor said:

(Spoiler because this ended up being pretty long)

  Reveal hidden contents

So recently things haven’t been great for me. A little while ago I found out that a muscular disorder I have that was supposed to be stable and not get any worse has actually started to get worse. This was not supposed to happen and is terrifying to me. Before things got worse I could manage with some physical therapy, but at this point nothing can help. All I can do is hope that things don’t get worse. On top of that it was found out that I now have a serious vitamin deficiency. I have almost zero of it in my bloodstream. I tried taking supplements to fix it, but my body can’t absorb any of it and I just have to deal with the symptoms. The deficiency has caused me to become constantly tired and weak, and the chances of it going away seem slim. Both of these things combined have made simple tasks like walking up the stairs cause my muscles to burn. I can’t stand up for more than half an hour without my joints hurting a ton. Even a five minute walk is enough to make my muscles spasm. I avoid walking whenever possible because it’s humiliating how many strange looks I get for breathing hard. People are usually sympathetic once I explain why I have so much trouble, but I can’t explain that to everyone and am thought to just be incredibly lazy or a wimp. This has resulted in greatly increased anxiety and depression. I’ve been able to keep those mental problems at bay by convincing myself that I have no reason for them, but I can’t use that excuse anymore. I have lost almost all of my motivation to do stuff. Sometimes it’s so bad that all I can do is sit and stare at the wall. I have started to randomly have breakdowns over things, and it is extremely humiliating when I burst into tears in public for seemingly no reason. I’ve stopped doing things that used to make me happy because I just get so anxious about them. I’ve tried going to therapists in the past for this stuff, but they didn’t help at all. I have had so many traumatizing experiences with doctors that I don’t think I can make myself go again. If I try and talk about my problems to people they just say that if I work hard they will go away. Or that I’m somehow “lucky” for having a muscular disorder because I never had to go to PE. Sorry this ended up being so long, I just needed somewhere to rant. 

   

*hugs*

That sounds awful, Luna! I hope you’re able to get past it, and I wish I could do something to help. Just know that you’re amazing and we’re all here for you during your struggles!

[Nathrangking]

7 hours ago, Lunamor said:

(Spoiler because this ended up being pretty long)

  Reveal hidden contents

So recently things haven’t been great for me. A little while ago I found out that a muscular disorder I have that was supposed to be stable and not get any worse has actually started to get worse. This was not supposed to happen and is terrifying to me. Before things got worse I could manage with some physical therapy, but at this point nothing can help. All I can do is hope that things don’t get worse. On top of that it was found out that I now have a serious vitamin deficiency. I have almost zero of it in my bloodstream. I tried taking supplements to fix it, but my body can’t absorb any of it and I just have to deal with the symptoms. The deficiency has caused me to become constantly tired and weak, and the chances of it going away seem slim. Both of these things combined have made simple tasks like walking up the stairs cause my muscles to burn. I can’t stand up for more than half an hour without my joints hurting a ton. Even a five minute walk is enough to make my muscles spasm. I avoid walking whenever possible because it’s humiliating how many strange looks I get for breathing hard. People are usually sympathetic once I explain why I have so much trouble, but I can’t explain that to everyone and am thought to just be incredibly lazy or a wimp. This has resulted in greatly increased anxiety and depression. I’ve been able to keep those mental problems at bay by convincing myself that I have no reason for them, but I can’t use that excuse anymore. I have lost almost all of my motivation to do stuff. Sometimes it’s so bad that all I can do is sit and stare at the wall. I have started to randomly have breakdowns over things, and it is extremely humiliating when I burst into tears in public for seemingly no reason. I’ve stopped doing things that used to make me happy because I just get so anxious about them. I’ve tried going to therapists in the past for this stuff, but they didn’t help at all. I have had so many traumatizing experiences with doctors that I don’t think I can make myself go again. If I try and talk about my problems to people they just say that if I work hard they will go away. Or that I’m somehow “lucky” for having a muscular disorder because I never had to go to PE. Sorry this ended up being so long, I just needed somewhere to rant. 

   

Firstly *Hugs* 

As far as I know you I know you to be an incredible and strong person. I know that you will overcome this and come out on top!! We are all here for you as @Jaywalk said. Keep fighting and show this situation that you are in charge and going nowhere!!

[+Slowswift]

20 hours ago, Lunamor said:

(Spoiler because this ended up being pretty long)

  Reveal hidden contents

So recently things haven’t been great for me. A little while ago I found out that a muscular disorder I have that was supposed to be stable and not get any worse has actually started to get worse. This was not supposed to happen and is terrifying to me. Before things got worse I could manage with some physical therapy, but at this point nothing can help. All I can do is hope that things don’t get worse. On top of that it was found out that I now have a serious vitamin deficiency. I have almost zero of it in my bloodstream. I tried taking supplements to fix it, but my body can’t absorb any of it and I just have to deal with the symptoms. The deficiency has caused me to become constantly tired and weak, and the chances of it going away seem slim. Both of these things combined have made simple tasks like walking up the stairs cause my muscles to burn. I can’t stand up for more than half an hour without my joints hurting a ton. Even a five minute walk is enough to make my muscles spasm. I avoid walking whenever possible because it’s humiliating how many strange looks I get for breathing hard. People are usually sympathetic once I explain why I have so much trouble, but I can’t explain that to everyone and am thought to just be incredibly lazy or a wimp. This has resulted in greatly increased anxiety and depression. I’ve been able to keep those mental problems at bay by convincing myself that I have no reason for them, but I can’t use that excuse anymore. I have lost almost all of my motivation to do stuff. Sometimes it’s so bad that all I can do is sit and stare at the wall. I have started to randomly have breakdowns over things, and it is extremely humiliating when I burst into tears in public for seemingly no reason. I’ve stopped doing things that used to make me happy because I just get so anxious about them. I’ve tried going to therapists in the past for this stuff, but they didn’t help at all. I have had so many traumatizing experiences with doctors that I don’t think I can make myself go again. If I try and talk about my problems to people they just say that if I work hard they will go away. Or that I’m somehow “lucky” for having a muscular disorder because I never had to go to PE. Sorry this ended up being so long, I just needed somewhere to rant. 

   

*piles on with the hugs* To quote the world's most memeable poster, keep calm and carry on, and know that if you need to let off some steam we're all here.  

[Zephrun’s Imperium]

On 12/31/2019 at 3:34 PM, Lunamor said:

(Spoiler because this ended up being pretty long)

  Hide contents

So recently things haven’t been great for me. A little while ago I found out that a muscular disorder I have that was supposed to be stable and not get any worse has actually started to get worse. This was not supposed to happen and is terrifying to me. Before things got worse I could manage with some physical therapy, but at this point nothing can help. All I can do is hope that things don’t get worse. On top of that it was found out that I now have a serious vitamin deficiency. I have almost zero of it in my bloodstream. I tried taking supplements to fix it, but my body can’t absorb any of it and I just have to deal with the symptoms. The deficiency has caused me to become constantly tired and weak, and the chances of it going away seem slim. Both of these things combined have made simple tasks like walking up the stairs cause my muscles to burn. I can’t stand up for more than half an hour without my joints hurting a ton. Even a five minute walk is enough to make my muscles spasm. I avoid walking whenever possible because it’s humiliating how many strange looks I get for breathing hard. People are usually sympathetic once I explain why I have so much trouble, but I can’t explain that to everyone and am thought to just be incredibly lazy or a wimp. This has resulted in greatly increased anxiety and depression. I’ve been able to keep those mental problems at bay by convincing myself that I have no reason for them, but I can’t use that excuse anymore. I have lost almost all of my motivation to do stuff. Sometimes it’s so bad that all I can do is sit and stare at the wall. I have started to randomly have breakdowns over things, and it is extremely humiliating when I burst into tears in public for seemingly no reason. I’ve stopped doing things that used to make me happy because I just get so anxious about them. I’ve tried going to therapists in the past for this stuff, but they didn’t help at all. I have had so many traumatizing experiences with doctors that I don’t think I can make myself go again. If I try and talk about my problems to people they just say that if I work hard they will go away. Or that I’m somehow “lucky” for having a muscular disorder because I never had to go to PE. Sorry this ended up being so long, I just needed somewhere to rant. 

   

Kay, first of all *hugs*. Luna, that is seriously awful. I can't even imagine dealing with something like that. But the great thing is, you are that much more amazing for going through that and getting up in the morning every day. Whatever happens, we really love you here on the Shard.  Really, I can't say it any better than any of the people who posted before me. 

[+Sorana]

On 31.12.2019 at 10:34 PM, Lunamor said:

(Spoiler because this ended up being pretty long)  

*hugs*

Just saw this today, and I have to admit it leaves a little at a loss what to say. I have so much respect for you for going through all of it, and for getting up each morning and for going on. I hope that things will get better and you will be able to find a way to live your life in a way that satisfies you.

For now, just know that I treassure our interactions and that I always look forward to your posts. If you need a shoulder to lean on, I can only offer mine and know, that I wish you all the luck in the world to sort your things.

Edited January 3, 2020 by Sorana

[Zephrun’s Imperium]

I honestly feel kinda bad posting this after Luna because her problem is so serious and mine is just my petty self. 

So a month ago I tried out for this solo. Every year our school holds a massive Variety Show and there's only one solo in it. Our middle school is 7-9th and they always give it to a 9th grader. I'm in 9th grade this year and I really thought I would get the solo. I sang Journey To The Past and my audition went super well. There were three other ninth graders that tried out for it. Two didn't stand a chance, but the other one was really good. I still thought I'd get it though because every time I've heard her sing, she's kinda quiet and not very expressive. Well, they posted the results the day before break and guess what, I didn't get it. 

I really, really thought I was going to get it and not getting it was really quite crushing. And yet... it wasn't. I spent the latter half of that school day trembling, my stomach literally hurting because I was so nervous for those results. I expected to get it though. And then when I didn't see my name on the list, I just kinda... died a little bit. My stomach stopped hurting, I stopped trembling; I just felt dead. Part of what hurts so much is that I expected to get it. And now that I haven't got it, I feel like there's something wrong with me and I'm really paranoid about what I did wrong. Was there something I could have done in my audition that would have made me get it? What do I lack? What was it specifically that made it so that I can't sing up there this February - something I have fantasized about since 7th grade? I've spent my entire life being told that I'm a good singer, but now I'm doubting all of that. 

I'm kinda full of myself. I have a tendency to think of myself as above other people. It's kind of a problem. But the thing is, I recognize that in myself and I really, really hate it. It's such a weird problem - I hate myself for loving myself too much. And now, with this happening, it's gotten worse. I think of myself at the best. And if I'm not, then I must just be awful. Every failure stings, but this one is really big and I don't really know what to do about it. So.... I don't know. I thought I had gotten over it over break, but at school today in choir, my stomach started hurting again and I nearly started crying because I just don't want to sing anymore. Part of it is that we have a new choir teacher and he's not nearly as good as our old one. So I suppose a lot of this can be contributed to me missing her. Anyway, thanks for reading through this, it's been eating at me for weeks. 

And for anyone wanting to know what I sound like, here's me singing Ocean Eyes. (I'm a soprano, so my low notes don't come out perfectly, but it sounds really good over all)

New_Recording_2.mp3

Edited January 3, 2020 by Shard of Thought

[Jaywalk]

1 hour ago, Shard of Thought said:

And for anyone wanting to know what I sound like, here's me singing Ocean Eyes. (I'm a soprano, so my low notes don't come out perfectly, but it sounds really good over all)

Ocean Eyes is a great song!

*hugs* Things will get better, Star! We all go through failure—it’s inevitable, as much as we fear it—and it helps us to grow. I wish I could reach through the screen and hug you for real, and I wish I could make you feel better with words alone, but the extent of my abilities to do that is limited. All I can do is let you know that you are a gift to this world. You have so much to give, and I myself am incredibly grateful for your spirit.

Edit: I just listened to the recording. You have an incredible voice! I wish I could sing half as well as you.

Edited January 3, 2020 by Jaywalk

[Nathrangking]

1 hour ago, Shard of Thought said:

I honestly feel kinda bad posting this after Luna because her problem is so serious and mine is just my petty self. 

So a month ago I tried out for this solo. Every year our school holds a massive Variety Show and there's only one solo in it. Our middle school is 7-9th and they always give it to a 9th grader. I'm in 9th grade this year and I really thought I would get the solo. I sang Journey To The Past and my audition went super well. There were three other ninth graders that tried out for it. Two didn't stand a chance, but the other one was really good. I still thought I'd get it though because every time I've heard her sing, she's kinda quiet and not very expressive. Well, they posted the results the day before break and guess what, I didn't get it. 

I really, really thought I was going to get it and not getting it was really quite crushing. And yet... it wasn't. I spent the latter half of that school day trembling, my stomach literally hurting because I was so nervous for those results. I expected to get it though. And then when I didn't see my name on the list, I just kinda... died a little bit. My stomach stopped hurting, I stopped trembling; I just felt dead. Part of what hurts so much is that I expected to get it. And now that I haven't got it, I feel like there's something wrong with me and I'm really paranoid about what I did wrong. Was there something I could have done in my audition that would have made me get it? What do I lack? What was it specifically that made it so that I can't sing up there this February - something I have fantasized about since 7th grade? I've spent my entire life being told that I'm a good singer, but now I'm doubting all of that. 

I'm kinda full of myself. I have a tendency to think of myself as above other people. It's kind of a problem. But the thing is, I recognize that in myself and I really, really hate it. It's such a weird problem - I hate myself for loving myself too much. And now, with this happening, it's gotten worse. I think of myself at the best. And if I'm not, then I must just be awful. Every failure stings, but this one is really big and I don't really know what to do about it. So.... I don't know. I thought I had gotten over it over break, but at school today in choir, my stomach started hurting again and I nearly started crying because I just don't want to sing anymore. Part of it is that we have a new choir teacher and he's not nearly as good as our old one. So I suppose a lot of this can be contributed to me missing her. Anyway, thanks for reading through this, it's been eating at me for weeks. 

And for anyone wanting to know what I sound like, here's me singing Ocean Eyes. (I'm a soprano, so my low notes don't come out perfectly, but it sounds really good over all)

New_Recording_2.mp3

*Hugs* Your problem is hardly a petty. It hurts to give of yourself, expect all the world to see in your work what you do, and then suffer rejection. I wish I could say that such things stop hurting. However, they can be used to grow as @Jaywalk said. There is nothing wrong with you! It is natural to question and doubt, but know that the fact that you were not chosen does not speak to your abilities. Be strong and remember that you are amazing and the world would be a poorer place without you!

[+Slowswift]

@Shard of Thought You have a lovely voice!

And I kinda know how you feel -- something similar happened with me when I was younger, though my experience was more borne of crippling naivete than anything else.  I also just want to echo what Jaywalk and Nathrangking said. They've put it much better than I could!

I'll just leave you (and anyone else who needs it) with an Emerson quote I love:

Quote

Finish each day and be done with it. You have done what you could. Some blunders and absurdities no doubt crept in; forget them as soon as you can. Tomorrow is a new day. You shall begin it serenely and with too high a spirit to be encumbered with your old nonsense.