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firstRainbowRose

List of Bad Metaphors

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We'd like to compile a list of bad metaphors for the Wiki. Can you guys help us out, and find them for us? Thanks!

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Brick made of porridge and rhinoceros astronaut are the ones that spring most immediately to mind. I'll see if I can find some more later.

 

What kind of additional information do you need?

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I think just the text of the metaphor is good enough. Potentially the lead up words as well. (Like, I think the first was "I feel like a brick made of oatmeal.")

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A bunch of them would have been tweeted at Brandon for the steelhunt for firefight, wouldn't they?

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You're like a potato, in a minefield

Edited by CarolaDavar
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"…more useless than a bagful of snakes at a dance competition." ("Mitosis") 

"…like an off-kilter washing machine filled with a hundred epileptic chimpanzees." (Steelheart

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Brick made of porridge and rhinoceros astronaut are the ones that spring most immediately to mind. I'll see if I can find some more later.

 

What kind of additional information do you need?

rhino astronaut? I don't remember that one.

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rhino astronaut? I don't remember that one.

 

 

It's from Mitosis.

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I soooo want to help with this. (Having the Kindle version makes it easy :D)

 

From Steelheart:

 

"It wasn't like blowing smoke. It was like...like singing. From my hand."

 

"It's like...a banana farm for guns."

 

"I'm not smart, I'm just persistent. My friends who were smart, they didn't have to study at all. I had to study like a horse for every test I took."

 

"They looked so dangerous, like alligators. Really fast alligators wearing black. Ninja alligators."

 

"We were like deaf people trying to dance to a beat we couldn't hear, long after the music actually stopped."

 

"The weapons merchant looked so nervous you could have turned milk into butter by sticking his hand in it."

 

"I hadn't thought there was a flaw in my plan. I'd worked all those out, smoothing them away like cleanser removing the pimples from a teenager's chin."

 

"But getting the words out of my mouth felt like trying to push marbles through a keyhole."

 

"Imagine holding a swarm of bees in your mouth, then spitting them out and trying to keep them pointed in a single direction by the sheer force of your breath and will."

 

"Steel dust fell down around my arm, showering to the ground below like someone had taken a cheese grater to a refrigerator."

 

"But since then you've acted like I was a gorilla at your buffet."

 

"I was letting myself get distracted, like a rabbit doing math problems instead of looking for foxes."

 

"I'll bet I could drive one of these things, I told myself. It doesn't look too hard. Like slipping on a banana peel around a corner at eighty miles an hour. Piece of cake."

 

"I was like the guy who had brought the spoiled shrimp cocktail to the party, causing everyone to throw up for a week straight."

 

"Prof's ability makes mine look like a piece of rice. And not even a cooked one."

 

"It would be like trying to sneak up on a lion while armed only with a squirt gun."

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Thank you all! I was able to grab a complete list, and we'll be putting it into the coppermind shortly.

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