Mandamon - 20130923 - Dark Crystal Author Quest Entry Part 1

[Mandamon]

Hi all,

This is the first half of an entry for the Penguin Dark Crystal Author Quest Contest, so it's
1) technically fan fiction and
2) I've got some specific things I'm looking for along with general feedback.

If you're familiar with The Dark Crystal, this takes place many years before, when there were lots of Gelfling, and the Skeksis and Mystics were young and strong.
I am looking for:
1) Does this evoke the world of Henson's Dark Crystal movie for you?  Why/why not
2) Does this make you want to read a 50,000 word story based on this topic?
3) Gelfling are not human, and are characterized as innocent, naive, and forgetful. Do you see these characteristics?

If you're not familiar with the Dark Crystal, any normal feedback is appreciated.

Thanks!

[Guru Coyote]

Let me begin by saying that I, too, had considered entering this Quest. That other WiP and the fact that I return to working life on 1st October stopped me from persuing the idea much further than some initial ideas and reading all the material.

 

To your piece:

Yes, I think it hits the right style and evokes the world nicely.

I especially liked how the opening is very typical of Gelfling, using mostly physical senses and very little verbalized thought or even dialog.

 

I've read the original film novelization and must say your style here reminds me of the writing. 

 

With all that praise, you'll want some critique too, and some critical thoughts, so here we go:

1) The characters you set up are convincing and in-style of Dark Crystal. My thought here is only... maybe they are too close to the two Gelflings we already know? Make sure you disctinguish your two from those in the film.

2) The word-count of about 50k for the finished novel does call for a tight narrative, but I'd have liked more description of the world (flora and fauna). 

Also I like the location(s) you set up, although we won't likely be seesing much of that hidden palace?

3) I do like how you centralize the theme of the Skeksis Lie of being noble and benevolent. My only concern would be that this might be 'too early.' After all, this seems to be The Central Conflict that has been set out for the new stories to be written. I don't know, just my 2c here.

 

All in all, I think this is solid Dark Crystal. I would definitely read more. I'm curious how the two characters you set up will meet, and what their adventure might be. The obvious one being: go see for real how the Skeksis are... And here, again, I think maybe it would be good to NOT do that, as it is the very obvious plot.

[Mandamon]

Thanks for the comments. I haven't read the novelization, but I did get the recent graphic novels and the World of the Dark Crystal (which is a fantastic book to have, in any case).

 

1) I was attempting to capture some of the nostalgia of the film in choosing those characters, plus all the stories put out so far have had the girl/boy pair.  That said, I do want these two to be different.  See what you think of the second half.

 

2) I intended this to be more of a writing example than a particular part of a 50K novel.  However it turned out more as the beginning of the story.  The hidden palace probably wouldn't come back in until the end of the story.  As for description, I was a little frustrated while writing, trying to cram as much description in while getting the story across.  That's one area I'll target when I re-edit.

 

3) This was another part sort of bound by the contest rules.  The story is supposed to be about the Gelfling Gathering together to create the Wall of Destiny, so I can't really keep the Skeksis secret long because there has to be enough time to gather the clans.  I settled on the secret being "out" but not believed by all but a few.  Again, let me know if the second half changes your views any.

 

Thanks again for the comments, and tune in next week for the conclusion (of the entry)!