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If stormlight archive was the wheel of time


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Shallan will ignore and avoid Shadesmar until the second last book. Which she will then master it within about a week.

The two most beautiful and good looking people will instantly fall in love when they meet.

Parshendi humor will be the epitome of comedy.

Edit: have to add this one in because it just annoys me so much.

Elokhar will hear about an an isolated region of Alethkar that has all but been ignored by the Throne for the last....couple decades, if not generations, and will get very upset when they decide to raise their own Lords and declare themselves independent. Never mind that they don't even know they're supposed to be part of Alethkar, are virtually ignored, and, oh, had to fight off an ungodly horde of Voidbringers all by themselves. But, no. They must submit to the will of the Lighteyes and the Althehi throne.

(Ugggghhh I can't stand Elayne. Or Egwene. Or Nynavene. Or almost all lead female characters. I just hate their characters, I'm not sexist. Although Robert Jordan might be....)
/rant

Edited by Gamma Fiend
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  • 7 months later...

(Ugggghhh I can't stand Elayne. Or Egwene. Or Nynavene. Or almost all lead female characters. I just hate their characters, I'm not sexist. Although Robert Jordan might be....)

/rant

 

Might? His women were all basically arrogant men with boobs and wimpy magic. I'd say we're a little bit past "might."

 

There's a good one. If stormlight archive were the wheel of time... everyone would be a man.

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....So I've been secretly hoping this thread would get revived ever since Words of Radiance came out.

However, they will all have to be in Spoiler Tags. ;)

Kaladin will get attacked by assassinations on the way back to visiting his parents, convincing him he's too dangerous for his family to be around. He'll never return to his village, and when he finally does see his father again he will at first thrash and rage and almost kill him, but then breakdown and cry in front of him instead.

We wouldn't have seen Jasnah return at the end of the book, instead Shallan would have received a note from her telling her she has to come rescue her from the Tower of the Cryptics. Good thing Kaladin's fancy new Shardblade will be a key for them to get out of there. Axies will have joined the party before then, as he travels all around the world, and will stay behind to sacrifice himself study the spren.

The Parshendi would have kidnapped Navani, and Dalinar would have led an expedition after them and will question himself and his self control the entire time. He'd get her back in time for Book 5 to end and the First Arc to be complete, barely coming to terms with his powers, yet still doubting them for the next few books.

Shallan will find out about Kaladin killing her brother, and instead of confronting him about it will sulk and refuse to acknowledge him, holding her nose up in the air like a good little Brighteyes. Likewise, Kaladin will be too big of a coward to talk to her about it, too. Their scenes together will be tense and awkward for the rest of the series, but with barely any resolution they'll still end up together.

Adolin will keep a list of all the Highprinces he's killed.



That's all I got for now. But let's bring this thing back!

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LOL. Mine, no order and link between them, just for fun.

 

Renarin's vision of the future will come true, always, no matter the vision. Entire story arcs will defined in order to follow the visions. All the main characters will alter their actions such as to comply to the visions. Plot devise.

 

Kaladin will not be able to decide between Laral, Tarah and Shallan so he'll get them all. He will claim he loves them all equally and all women will be entirely fine with it. Laral and Shallan will become first sister. Tarah will be suspicious so she'll manage to end up in Kal's bed more often than the others.

 

Adolin will receive a vision of the Almighty claiming he has to marry some unknown ugly princess from a far away land. She will turn out being Eshonai and strangely, despite being the worst couple in all history, they will fall in love...

 

Dalinar will start to regret his past. He will shake and tremble as he recites the name of all the people he had killed while being the Blackthorn.

 

Navani will refuse to have Dalinar in her bed until he excuses for something he does not remember having done. This will go on for books and books and books. She will regularly call him a "woolhearted fool".

 

Shallan and Jasnah will rediscover all to create fabrials. They will also rediscover all sort of tricks long thought forgotten. Thoughts will just pop into their heads and it will be done.

 

Shallan will always be right about everything. She will become the youngest to ever be in charge of the Radiants. Despite her obvious inexperience, everyone will respect and follow her, even seasoned warriors such as Dalinar. She will make Adolin dance around her for books and books until she will finally acknowledge, in a moment of weakness, that she loves him.

 

Jasnah will wear her hair into a braid she will tuck regularly. She will also have a special love for silk and jewelry.

 

In order to lead the force of good against the Desolation, Dalinar will have to learn to cry again.......

 

Adolin will start to surgebind, but he will not acknowledge it. He will be angry at it because he hates surgebinding. He will spend books and books fighting against it. He will lead his army of reckless fools all across Roshar, running away from all responsibility, only to end up doing the right thing every time. He will repetitively rescue Jasnah and Shallan, but none will ever thank him, quite the contrary: they will get angry at him for meddling in their affairs.

 

Elhokar will be be comprised by Odium. Everyone will think him dead, but he will manage to escape and hide amongst a group of Herdazians. He will fall in love with a darkeye Herdazian women and he will marry her. Kaladin will blame Lopen and will spend books and books being angry at him.

 

Lopen will be Kaladin long lost half-brother.

 

The succession war for the throne of Alethkar will go on and on for books. Adolin will end up winning the odds by mere talking and flashing around in nice clothing. Everyone will bow to his political prowess even if he's hardly more than a kid who's been away for years.

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For the entire series, Kaladin will try to tempt Shallan to cheat on Adolin.  Then he'll give up for no reason, go home to Hearthstone to help sick people, and do absolutely nothing in the last book.  

 

Adolin will be upset because Shallan won't get mad at him.  

 

Jasnah, after telling Shallan what her powers are in the first book but without teaching her how to use them, will now disappear for most of the series.  She'll come back near the end, but it will turn out that she now has nothing else to teach Shallan, and she'll just have to figure it out for herself.  

 

Pattern will die, but he will still exist in Shadesmar.  He will teach Shallan how to use Shadesmar, but will then be killed again, except for real this time.  

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Kaladin learns to kill stuff back in time, because gravitation surge and relativity and time something something. Nobody ever questions it.

 

It's really useful when all his friends are killed by Szeth, because they come back to life after Kaladin uses it to kill Szeth in the past.

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During books 4-8 we will hate all the characters except for Sebarial. He will be incredibly awesome, but he won't get enough screen time.

 

All the female people in authority will be royal pains in the chull.

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Kaladin learns to kill stuff back in time, because gravitation surge and relativity and time something something. Nobody ever questions it.

 

It's really useful when all his friends are killed by Szeth, because they come back to life after Kaladin uses it to kill Szeth in the past.

 

Wait, does this seriously happen?

 

I only got as far as Dragon Reborn, but that plot sounds so insane I might just keep reading just to get to it.

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A forsaken kills a couple people, then Rand than kills him with balefire like 15 pages later, so its all good. Its a little dumb really.

I didn't find that too problematic. Balefire had been clearly explained, so it was obvious that this was a real (and likely) possibility.

 

Kaladin will cleanse Odium by filtering him through Cultivation. He will then revert back to his original state of Slight Annoyance.

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Life wouldn't be awesome, she would just tug on her braids all day long.

Szeth will become increasingly whiny and unstable for the duration of the first 9 books, only to have a conversation with himself atop the tallest mountain to reverse his whole attitude and become the Hero everybody needs him to be.

Nobody will ever respect Kaladin because he should just be a farmer.

Mr. T and the Diagram would be be a minor antagonist that only shows up every few books to mess with/taunt Kaladin. When the Final Battle does eventually come, Adolin will be immune to the plottings of the Diagram and will be able to kill Mr. T in one blow.

Eshonai will feel bad for a few books because she no longer has any toh.

Keep 'em coming!

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There would be far fewer secret organizations, they would just be organizations.

 

Skybreakers                 Children of the Light

Purelakers                    Tinkerers

Storm Wardens            Black Tower

Ghostbloods                  White Tower

 

Not the best conversion, but its what I could get.

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I didn't find that too problematic. Balefire had been clearly explained, so it was obvious that this was a real (and likely) possibility.

 

I agree. That was not so bad. Balefire did not troubled me in WoT. I was more bothered by the

Jasnah is dead oh no Jasnah is not dead; Szeth is dead oh no Szeth is not dead, I had a fabrial.....

 

However, anti-balefire (the Flame of Tar Valon) that Egwene discovers in 5 minutes was one of the worst plot I have ever read.

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I agree. That was not so bad. Balefire did not troubled me in WoT. I was more bothered by the

Jasnah is dead oh no Jasnah is not dead; Szeth is dead oh no Szeth is not dead, I had a fabrial.....

This, I'd say, is the biggest flaw of Words of Radiance, but it couldn't be helped.

Don't forget Syl.

At least with Jasnah and Syl I refused to believe their deaths in the first place.

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This, I'd say, is the biggest flaw of Words of Radiance, but it couldn't be helped.

Don't forget Syl.

At least with Jasnah and Syl I refused to believe their deaths in the first place.

 

Yeah. I forgot about her. Bad plotting Brandon :ph34r:

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Jasnah will warn everyone, very clearly, not to touch or take anything from the evil cursed city of cursed evil. Adolin will do so anyway, gradually degenerate into a Gollum-like creature, then everyone will be surprised that it was the evil trinket doing it.

Edited by Quiver
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(Ugggghhh I can't stand Elayne. Or Egwene. Or Nynavene. Or almost all lead female characters. I just hate their characters, I'm not sexist. Although Robert Jordan might be....)

/rant

 

Totally amen to that. I stopped reading the books because of them.

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