Jump to content

If stormlight archive was the wheel of time


Recommended Posts

Kaladin and Dalinar bring back the Radiants. The next book, rather than advancing the plot, will be about what every single other character in the series was doing while Kaladin brought back the Radiants.

 

Adolin will find out that Dalinar is not his father, and then despite how awesome Dalinar is, readers won't see him again until the last book, where he will teach Adolin to find peace while simultaneously hanging out with Shallan in Shinovar.

 

The series will end with Kaladin switching bodies with Szeth and heading off on wild adventures.

 

Adolin will take a break from the crusade against Odium to buy some grain.

 

Kaladin, instead of rejecting the Shardblade, would spend ten books carrying it around. Despite his Shardblade literally trying to kill him at one point, he wouldn't ditch it until he got mad and chopped some guy's hand off.

 

The quality of food will degrade throughout the books, culminating in Elhokar holding a fancy feast and literally serving his guests rust.

 

One of the Parshendi would see Kaladin and start worshiping him, causing him to become a major threat that had to be defeated.

 

Odium would be defeated because someone yelled at him in all caps.

 

Cultivation would be a horse who keeps appearing randomly nearby important plot points.o

Yesss!!! Those are all so great!.... And with that...

The 13 Generals of Elokhars army will always play "game of houses/politics" that never really amount to too much plot development and mostly end up as rumours.

Adolin will storming swear whenever he wants to, even in the presence of royalty. Stormfather curse you! (and he'll always win when gambling)

 

Kaladin will get his way because he has an intense stare and acts like he's in charge

And... one of the biggest heroes of the final battle will be a character who's introduced a book or two from the end, who's been working in the most neglected part of the story, who's a simple leather craftsman who's had experience in every single other type of oddball-end job, who's just somehow a savant of one specific type of magic.

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

A major plot point would revolve around a childrens game.

 

All the female surge binders would consider all the male surge binders insane...or maybe just illiterate

 

Shallan would have viewings...or maybe just draw extremely accurate pictures of things that aren't visible

 

Kaladin would be so bedazzled by Shallan that he'd fall off a wall the first time he saw her.

 

The Ghost Knights would be heroes of the past trapped in a horn that could only be blown by one waif that Kaladin adopts because he looks like Tien.

 

The void bringers wouldn't leave home without their stew pots.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

the initially planned ten books would become 20, then 40, then the 40th book will be split in three parts.

but it will be so awesome we won't mind and will be happy to have more to read.

 

Every time i look this thread i can't help imagining sanderson reading it and thinking "damnit! now i must change the plot"

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Basically any time someone discovers they have amazing superpowers, they'll whine about it for about a million years.

 

Every girl who's even slightly relevant to the story is fabulously attractive.

 

Jasnah will marry an old geezer like Thom.

 

Every magic ritual involving women includes stripping.

 

Magic is sexist.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I just can't wait until there's enough Stormlight books for us to make the "If Wheel of Time was like Stormlight Archive" thread.  :D

Maybe to get into the stone of tears mat and the aiels would have had to carry a bridge...

 

 

Basically any time someone discovers they have amazing superpowers, they'll whine about it for about a million years.

Well, it's not like kaladin didn't whine at least a bit about it. And he didn't even have the "i'll go crazy and kill everyone who ever loved be" as an excuse for it.

Edited by king of nowhere
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Shallan will eventually get pregnant and spend the second half of the series being completely hormonal and useless.

Edit: new one - Navani would be queen instead of there being kings, and would get duped and manipulated by one of the Ten Fools. She would then have to flee (with rumours of Dalinar killing her sprouting up after he goes to avenge her) and eventually will go strike up an alliance with Taravangian, who is just obviously using her.

Edited by Gamma Fiend
Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 2 weeks later...

- For no reason whatsoever all scientists will start treating Shallan like the smartest person they have ever met after making Shallan a prisoner.

- Lamarill didn't die, he switched bodies with Matal.

- Noone has any respect for anyone else.

- When Shallans opinion doesn't happen to coincide with Jasnahs, Jasnah will believe it's because of a mystical twist of destiny, not just her own conclusions.

- The descendants of the Wandersails crew will not believe or respect anything the Rosharans deem important and vice versa.

- Moash will start hearing the thoughts of cremlings in his mind and will mope about it for 8 out of 10 books.

- Teft knows everything about the Knights Radiant, he just doesn't fell like sharing.

- Some woman will show up suddenly, who is known by all other women, yet was never contacted until about the 5th book. She will call anyone "boy", "daughter" or "child" whenever she wants to put them in their place

 

Just as a sidenote, i loved WoT, I just found some parts of it extremely aggravating. :D

Link to comment
Share on other sites

navani would suddenly start being a real jerk towards dalinar, finding evewry excuse to be angry at him and beat him for no reason. All this because she would like him to shout back and show his strenght, but of course she won't explain. Even if it was an habit she picked up in a distant land and there wass no way dalinar could know about it.

 

In general, every woman in love will act most of the time like she hated her beloved. Even in her point of view, she would think like she actually hated him most of the time.

 

women will beat men all the time and everyone will see it as absolutely normal behaviour.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 4 weeks later...

Kaladin will marry Shallan. And that first lighteyed friend he had a crush on when they were kids. And a Sin woman. And Eshonai.

All of these women will be okay with this situation and create a new fabrial so they can all be emotionally linked.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

If stormlight archive were the wheel of time

Jasnah pulls her braid until she goes bald. She learns the Fifth Ideal for all women is Nudity and that all women must participate in a nude ceremony to become a complete Soulcaster.

Jasnah, Shallan and Eshonai fall in love with Kaladin and participate in a nude ceremony to become True Sisters. 

Also when Jasnah has sex with Kaladin, the others feel the orgasm too as they are all bonded together, but they have no probs whatsoever with it. Also note, Kaladin has sex with Jasnah only after she complains about him having had sex with the other to already.

Teft becomes a Kaladin fanatic, declares him Jezrien reborn and becomes a big tyrant, until he is put down by Moash.

Shallash pretends to be a good Herald and helps Kaladin but is later revealed to be one of the Forsaken..oops... i mean, one of the Ten Fools.

 

..........Most importantly, it is revealed that S&M is an integral part of Vorinism, and therefore all women kick, slap and beat their husbands half to death.

Edited by Sasukerinnegan
Link to comment
Share on other sites

No character is capable of having a relevant thought about another character without first taking note of the other character's clothing in excruciating detail; specifically: the general style of the clothing, the color of the clothing as well as political factions associated with those colors, the quality of the cut of fabric as well as the social status of someone who might wear a similar outfit, the material of the fabric as well as some brief speculations about climates and weather that that material may prove advantageous in, the presence or absence of embroidery and what that may indicate about the character's temperament (utilitarian vs flamboyant), and finally the presence of any jewelry, trinkets, weapons, and other miscellaneous ornamentation notable for either its presence or absence. Repeat this process every time a new character enters the scene, even if their clothing has not changed since the last time it was desribed in this manner.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

If Stormlight Archive were Wheel of Time... Gawyn would still be the worst character ever. Seriously. Can anybody even tolerate that little prick? I believe this is the character Jordan wanted to hate. Like, "Here's what happens when you become the whiniest, most incompetent character in the series. Who's assumptions about absolutely everything is completely wrong and just makes a fool of himself" - That's what Robert Jordan was thinking when he wrote Gawyn.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

If SA was WoT...

 

Every book, one of Odiums chief lieutenants will pop up in super secret conferences gloating about how badass he is without actually doing anything at all.

 

It will be strongly hinted at who he really is and what his plan is only for him eventually to turn up with an army from a society that has been mentioned a grand total of twice in the ENTIRE SERIES!

 

Shallan will be made head of the new radient orders for no logical reason whatsoever. Somehow she will be able to out whit and out manouver all her political opponents despite having zero experience and being almost completely wrong about nearly everything.

 

The books will go on for 5 extra books primarily beacause, despite the impending apocolypse, none of the characters will talk to each other.

 

The bridgemen will start showing their respect for Kaladin by beating him up alot.

Edited by MadRand
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Guest
This topic is now closed to further replies.
  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.
×
×
  • Create New...