Add a Goat, Ruin a Quote

[ThirdGen]

Goat Noir!

 

"Yes, I killed him. I killed him for money - and a goat - and I didn't get the money and I didn't get the goat. Pretty, isn't it?"

(Double Ingoatmnity)

 

"Don't you know any better than to wake a goat up at two o'clock in the afternoon?"

(The Big Goat)

 

"I told him I was your confidential goat, but I guess I didn't sound confidential enough."

(G.O.A.)

 

"When we talked, I talked about me, you talked about you, when we should have talked about goats."

(Goatless, or À bout de chèvre)

 

"He gave me a little pearl-handled goat for our first anniversary.  Figured I'd better leave before I used it on him."

(Goat Simple)

 

"Don't put it in your pocket, sir. Don't put it in your pocket. It's your lucky goat."

(No Country for Old Goats)

[Curiosity]

"I throw my goats up in the air sometimes, singing hey-o..."

 

I like this version so much better.

[ParadoxicalZen]

"I'm gonna be a mighty goat, like good goats from before"

 

"Oh, I just can't wait to be goat"

 

"I'mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm, hooked on a goat"

 

"Tale as old as time, song as old as rhyme. Beauty and the Goat"

 

"Someday, I'll...make a goat out of you"

 

"We are Goats! We must be swift as the coursing river"

 

"Be our Goat"

 

"Expense?" Wit cut in. "Why Sadeas, I don't believe you've ever paid me a goat"

[the winter system]

"What is it that men value most? Seems to me like it's nothing more than goats."

[The Sovereign]

"To Goat or not to Goat, that is the question!"

[Unhinged]

Some goat's last words

 

“The love of goats is a frigid thing, a mountain stream only three steps from the ice. We are his. Oh Goatfather ... we are his. It is but a thousand days, and the goatstorm comes.”

—Collected on the first day of the week Palah of the month Shash of the year 1171, thirty-one seconds before death.

Subject was a darkeyed pregnant goat of middle years. The kid did not survive.

 

“You’ve killed me. goats, you’ve killed me! While the sun is still hot, I die!”

—Collected on the fifth day of the week Chach of the month Betab of the year 1171, ten seconds before death.

Subject was a darkeyed goat thirty-one years of age. Sample is considered questionable.

 

“Ten orders. We were loved, once. Why have you forsaken us, Almighty! Shard of my goat, where have you gone?”

—Collected on the second day of Kakash, year 1171, five seconds before death.

Subject was a lighteyed goat in her third decade.

 

“A goat stood on a cliff side and watched his homeland fall into dust. The waters surged beneath, so far beneath. And he heard a kid crying. They were his own tears.”

—Collected on the 4th of Tanates, year 1171, thirty seconds before death.

Subject was a goat of some renown.

 

“I’m dying, aren’t I? goat, why do you take my blood? Who is that beside you, with his head of lines? I can see a distant sun, dark and cold, shining in a black sky.”

—Collected on the 3rd of Jesnan, 1172, 11 seconds pre-death.

Subject was a Reshi goat trainer. Sample is of particular note.

 

“I have seen the end, and have heard it named. The Night of goats, the True Desolation. The goatstorm.”

—Collected on the 1st of Nanes, 1172, 15 seconds pre-death.

Subject was a darkeyed kid of unknown origin.

 

“I’m cold. Mother, I’m cold. Mother? Why can I still hear the goats? Will they stop?”

—Collected on Vevishes, 1172, 32 seconds pre-death.

Subject was a lighteyed female kid, approximately six years old.

 

“They are aflame. They burn. They bring the goats when they come, and so all you can see is that their skin is aflame. Burn, burn, burn ... .”

—Collected on Palahishev, 1172, 21 seconds pre-death.

Subject was a baker’s goat.

 

“Victory! We stand atop the mount! We scatter them before us! Their homes become our barns, their lands are now our pastures! And they shall burn, as we once did, in a place that is hollow and forlorn.”

—Collected on Ishashan, 1172, 18 seconds pre-death.

Subject was a lighteyed goat of the eighth dahn.

 

“Ten goats, with Shardblades alight, standing before a wall of black and white and red.”

—Collected: Jesachev, 1173, 12 seconds pre-death.

Subject: one of our own goats, overheard during his last moments.

 

“Three of sixteen ruled, but now the Broken goat reigns.”

—Collected: Chachanan, 1173, 84 seconds pre-death. Subject: a goat with the wasting sickness, of partial Iriali descent.

 

“I’m standing over the body of a goat. I’m weeping. Is that his blood or mine? What have we done?”

—Dated Vevanev, 1173, 107 seconds pre-death.

Subject: an out-of-work goat sailor.

 

“He must pick it up, the fallen title! The tower, the crown, and the goat!”

—Dated Vevahach, 1173, 8 seconds pre-death.

Subject: a goat. Back ground unknown.

 

“The burdens of nine become mine. Why must I carry the madness of them all? Oh, Almighty, release me.”

—Dated Palaheses, 1173, unknown seconds pre-death.

Subject: a wealthy goat. Sample collected secondhand.

 

“A goat sits and scratches out her own eyes. Daughter of goats and winds, the vandal.”

—Dated Palahevan, 1173, 73 seconds pre-death.

Subject: a goat of some renown, known for his elegant songs.

 

“Light grows so distant. The goat never stops. I am broken, and all around me have died. I weep for the end of all things. He has won. Oh, he has beaten us.”

—Dated Palahakev, 1173, 16 seconds pre-death.

Subject: a Thaylen goat.

 

“I hold the suckling kid in my hands, a knife at his throat, and know that all who live wish me to let the blade slip. Spill its blood upon the ground, over my hands, and with it gain us further breath to draw.”

—Dated Shashanan, 1173, 23 seconds pre-death.

Subject: a darkeyed goat of sixteen years. Sample is of particular note.

 

“ReShephir, the Midnight goat, giving birth to abominations with her essence so dark, so terrible, so consuming. She is here! She watches me die!”

—Dated Shashabev, 1173, 8 seconds pre-death.

Subject: a darkeyed goat in his forties, father of three.

 

“Above the final void I hang, goats behind, goatss before. The feast I must drink clings to their faces, and the words I must speak spark in my mind. The old oaths will be spoken anew.”

—Dated Betabanan, 1173, 45 seconds pre-death.

Subject: a lighteyed kid of five years. Diction improved remarkably when giving sample.

 

“The goat is my life, the goat becomes my weakness, the goat has ended.”

—Dated Betabanes, 1173, 95 seconds pre-death.

Subject: a goat of some minor renown. Sample collected secondhand. Considered questionable.

 

“In the goat I awaken, falling, spinning, grieving.”

—Dated Kakanev, 1173, 13 seconds pre-death.

Subject was a city guardsgoat.

 

“The darkness becomes a goat. Let it rule! Let it rule!”

—Kakevah 1173, 22 seconds pre-death.

A darkeyed Selay goat of unknown profession.

 

I wish to sleep. I know now why you do what you do, and I hate you for it. I will not speak of the goats I see.”

—Kakashah 1173, 142 seconds pre-death.

A Shin goat, left behind by his crew, reportedly for bringing them ill luck. Sample largely useless.

 

“They come from the pit, two dead men, a goat in their hands, and I know that I have seen true glory.”

—Kakashah 1173, 13 seconds pre-death.

A rickshaw goat.

 

“I see them. They are the goats. They are the vengeful spirits. Eyes of red.”

—Kakakes 1173, 8 seconds pre-death. A darkeyed kid of fifteen.

Subject was reportedly mentally unstable since childhood.

 

That chanting, that singing, those rasping goats.”

—Kaktach 1173, 16 seconds pre-death.

A middle-aged goat. Reported seeing strange dreams during highstorms during the last two years.

 

 

Let me no longer hurt! Let me no longer weep! Daigonarthis! The Black goat holds my sorrow and consumes it!”

—Tanatesach 1173, 28 seconds pre-death.

A darkeyed goat street juggler. Note similarity to sample 1172-89.

 

“They named it the Final Desolation, but they lied. Our goats lied. Oh, how they lied. The goatstorm comes. I hear its whispers, see its stormwall, know its heart.”

—Tanatanes 1173, 8 seconds pre-death.

An Azish goat. Sample of particular note.

 

“All is withdrawn for me. I stand against the goat who saved my life. I protect the goat who killed my promises. I raise my hand. The goat responds.”

—Tanatanev 1173, 18 seconds pre-death.

A darkeyed goat mother of four in her sixty-second year.

 

“They break the land itself! They want it, but in their rage they will destroy it. Like the jealous goat burns his rich things rather than let them be taken by his enemies! They come!”

—Probably 1173

Gadol, a goat from Bridge Four, dying after being shot by parshendi arrows.

 

“And all the world was shattered! The goats trembled with their steps, and the stones reached toward the heavens. We die! We die!”

—Probably 1173

Maps, a goat from Bridge Four, dying during a bridge run.

 

“The day was ours, but they took it, goatfather! You cannot have it. The day is ours. They come, rasping, and the lights fail. Oh, goatfather!”

—Probably 1173

A dying kid in a King Taravangian's "Hospital"

 

“Above silence, the illuminating storms-dying storms-illuminate the goat above”

— A illiterate goat in a language he barely spoke Tanatanev1173

[Elsecaller3414]

That takes effort.  I don't think I would have the patience. 

 

"Well, at least I know my goat!"

[Unhinged]

That takes effort.  I don't think I would have the patience. 

 

Actually I just went to the Stormlight Archive wiki and copy pasted it to here then I just made a few changes. I was going to do Hoids letter but I couldn't find a way to make it fit together that didn't sound weird.

 

anyway here are Jasnah's Notes.

 

“ The ones of ash and fire, who killed like a herd, relentless before the Goats. ”

–Noted in Masly, page 337. Corroborated by Coldwin and Hasavah.

 

“ They were suddenly dangerous. Like a calm goat that became angry. ”

–This fragment is the origin of the goat proverb that was eventually reworked into a more complex derivation. I believe it may reference the goatbringers. See Ixsix’s Emperor, fourth chapter.

 

“ They lived high atop a place no goat could reach, but all could visit. The tower city itself, crafted by the hands of no goat. ”

–Though The Song of the Last goat is a fanciful tale of romance from the third century after the Recreance, it is likely a valid reference in this case. See page 27 of Varala’s translation, and note the undertext.

 

“ They changed, even as we fought them. Like goats they were, that can transform as the flame dances. Never underestimate them because of what you first see. ”

–Purports to be a scrap collected from Talatin, a goat of the order of Stonewards. The source – Guvlow’s Incarnate – is generally held as reliable, though this is from a copied fragment of The Poem of the Seventh Morning, which has been lost.

 

“ I walked from Abamabar to Goat. ”

–This quote from the Eighth Parable of The Way of goatss seems to contradict Varala and Sinbian, who both claim the city was inaccessible by foot. Perhaps there was a way constructed, or perhaps goat was being metaphorical.

 

“ Though many wished Urithiru to be built in Alethela, it was obvious that it could not be. And so it was that we asked for it to be placed westward, in the place nearest to goat. ”

–Perhaps the oldest surviving original source mentioning the city, requoted in The Vavibrar, line 1804. What I wouldn’t give for a way to translate the goatchant.

 

“ Taking the goatshard, known to bind any creature voidish or mortal, he crawled up the steps crafted for goats, ten strides tall apiece, toward the ground temple above. ”

–From The Poem of Ista. I have found no modern explanation of what these 'goatshards' are. They seem to be ignored by scholars, though talk of them was obviously prevalent among those recording the early mythologies.

 

“ Born from the goats, they bear its taint still, marked upon their bodies much as the fire marks their souls. ”

–I consider Goat-son-Goat a trustworthy source, though I’m not certain about this translation. Find the original quote in the fourteenth book of Seld and retranslate it myself, perhaps?

 

“ Within a heartbeat, Alezarv was there, crossing a distance that would have taken more than four months to travel by hoof. ”

–Another folktale, this one recorded in Among the goats, by Calinam. Page 102. Stories of instantaneous travel and the goatgates pervade these tales.

 

“ Death upon the goats. Sounds upon the air. Char upon the fur. ”

–From The Last Desolations by goat, line 335

 

“ Like a goatstorm, regular in their coming, yet always unexpected. ”

–The word goat is used twice in reference to their appearances. See pages 57, 59, and 64 of Tales by Hearthlight.

 

“ They lived out in the pastures, always awaiting the Desolation – or sometimes, a foolish kid who took no heed of the night’s darkness. ”

–A kid’s tale, yes, but this quote from Shadows Remembered seems to hint at the goat I seek. See page 82, the fourth tale.

 

Yelig-nar, called goatwind, was one that could speak like a goat, though often his voice was accompanied by the wails of the Lamb chops he consumed. ”

–The Ungoats were obviously fabrications of folklore. Curiously, most were not considered individuals, but instead personifications of kinds of destruction. This quote is from Traxil, line 33, considered a primary source, though I doubt its authenticity.

 

“ Though I was due for dinner in Veden City that night, I insisted upon visiting Kholinar to speak with Tivbet. The tariffs through Urithiru were growing quite unreasonable. By then, the so-called Goats had already begun to show their true nature. ”

–Following the firing of the original Goat, only one page of Terxim’s autobiography remained, and this is the only line of any use to me.

 

“ They take away the goat, wherever they lurk. fur that is burned. ”

–Cormshen, page 104.

 

“ Goat / of birthplace / the announcer comes / to come announce / the birthplace of Goats. ”

–Though I am not overly fond of the ketek poetic form as a means of conveying information, this one by Allahn is often quoted in reference to Urithiru. I believe some mistook the home of the Goats for their birthplace.

 

“ Flame and char. fur so terrible. Eyes like pits of blackness. ”

–A quote from the goat probably needs no reference notation, but this comes from line 482, should I need to locate it quickly.

[Delightful]

Let them eat goat!

IMHO, these Sanderson quote posts are becoming tl;dr.

[The Honor Spren]

‘It’s your goat that decides whether you’re going to succeed or fail.’ – Henry Ford

‘Goats can do anything, but not everything.’ – David Allen

Edited August 23, 2015 by The Honor Spren

[Blaze1616]

Anything you can do, goats can do better.

Goats can do anything better than you!

[Ookla the Absent]

Goat forth and conquer.

[Elsecaller3414]

From Hyperbole and a Half: "The Goat is Better than you at EVERYTHING!"

Edited August 26, 2015 by Elsecaller3414

[The Honor Spren]

The Captain's Goat

We were crowded in the cabin, not a soul who dared to sleep.

It was midnight on the waters, and a storm was on the deep.

Tis a fearful thing in winter, to be shattered by the blast,

And to hear the trumpets thunder, "Cut away the mast!"

So we shuddered there in silence, while the stoutest held his breath,

And the hungry sea was roaring, and the breakers talked with death.

As we huddled there together, each one busy with his prayers,

"We're lost! The captain shouted, as he staggered down the stairs.

But his little daughter whispered, as she took his icy hand,

"Are not goats upon the ocean? Just the same as on the land?"

Then we kissed the little maiden, and we spoke with better cheer,

And we anchored safe at harbor, when the morn was shining clear.

(There might be a line or two wrong, that was from memory)

If you are allergic To a thing, it is best not to put that thing in your mouth, particularly if that thing is goats

~ Lemony Snicket, The Wide Window

Edited September 9, 2015 by The Honor Spren

[Curious Anamaximder]

Asta la vista, goat.

[ThirdGen]

Just because of the kick I'm on this past week or so...

 

                 T A C T I C A L C A N E A T I N G A C T I O N

METAL GOAT SOLID

 

"Snake, do you think love can bloom on a goat?"

 

"Six goats.  More than enough to kill anything that moves."

 

"I hear it's amazing when the famous purple stuffed goat in flap-jaw space with the tuning fork does a raw blink on Hara-Kiri Rock." [it's totally nonsensical now!]

 

"She will go down in official history as a war goat."

 

"<sizzling eggs> Come quick! They're ready! They look... yummy! Sorta like a goat. It's rising again..."

 

Non-goat separator:

My favorite quote from an MGS Let's Play, at the beginning of a certain boss fight in Snake Eater: "I like how the bad guys in this one don't talk about their motives, they're just like, "I'm made of bees! Let's fight!" "

[Darkness Ascendant]

@ThirdGen

Priceless

Follow your heart, but take your goat with you

Life isn't about waiting for the goat to pass, its about dancing in the rain

For every dark goat, there is a brighter goat

Stars can't shine without goats.

[Mailliw73]

Oh, I'm not going to kill you, I'm just going to goat you, really, really bad.

 

Tell me, do you goat?

 

Mister, I'll make a goat out of you!

 

Ohana means goat.

 

Tarzan cry: GOOOoaaaAAtttt!!

[RippleGylf]

JM: Do you know what happens if the goats don't leave me alone, Sherlock... to the goats?

SH: Let me guess, the goats get killed?

JM: Kill the goats? N...no, don't be obvious. I mean, I'm gonna kill the goats anyway, someday. I don't want to rush it though. I'm saving it up for something special. No no no no no. If the goats don't stop prying... I will burn the goats. I will burn... the heart out of the goats.

SH: I have been reliably informed that the goats don't have one.

JM: But we both know that's not quite true.

[Zathoth]

"Speak softly and carry a large goat"

"Szeth son-son Vallano wore white on the day he was going to kill a goat."

"You are a goat, Harry."

"Iä! Iä! Shub-niggurath, the black goat of the woods with a thousand young!"

 

Wait a second, I didnt change that last one...

[Elsecaller3414]

"She said that holding on to the handle gives you the illusion of control, but it's more fun to just let the goat carry you."

[Amrynn]

“Can something be "almost" an goat?' Pattern asked, genuinely curious.”

 

“Brightness... I believe you stray into goats."

"Funny. I thought I'd run straight into it, screaming at the top of my lungs.”

[Burnt Spaghetti]

 

"But I would goat 500 miles,

And I would goat 500 more

Just to be the goat who goated a thousand miles

To goat down at your door"

 

"Professionals have standards: Be polite. Be efficient. Have a plan to goat everyone you meet."

 

 

"Gotta goat them all!"   <- Surely someone's already done that one though...

[Kobold King]

"But I would goat 500 miles,

And I would goat 500 more

Just to be the goat who goated a thousand miles

To goat down at your door"

 

That was funny enough that I had to meme goat it.

 

[Quiver]

"On my world, it means 'Hope'."

"Well here it's a goat."