02ranger Posted August 30, 2015 Report Share Posted August 30, 2015 Gotta add this one that I just read: "It wasn't an admonition," Jasnah said, turning a page. "Simply an observation. I make them on occasion: Those books are musty. The sky is blue today. My ward is a smart-lipped reprobate." 8 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scottbushee907 Posted September 2, 2015 Report Share Posted September 2, 2015 "A bunny rabbit and a chick went frolicking in the grass together on a sunny day.”“A chick . . . baby chicken?” Kaladin said. “And a what?”“Ah, forgot myself for a moment,” Wit said. “Sorry. Let me make it more appropriate for you. A piece of wet slime and a disgusting crab thing with seventeen legs slunk across the rocks together on an insufferably rainy day. Is that better?”“I suppose. Is the story over?”“It hasn’t started yet.”" 9 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Elsecaller3414 Posted September 8, 2015 Report Share Posted September 8, 2015 I keep forgetting that they have no idea what those are. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Herald Posted September 8, 2015 Report Share Posted September 8, 2015 Apart from the great ones mentioned here that involved Wit, Lopen and Shallan dialogues, these scenes really cracked me up. “The anatomical differences between genders are so slight,” Pattern said, humming to himself. “Yet so profound. And you augment them. Long hair. Blush on the cheeks. I went and watched Sebarial bathe last night and—” “Please tell me you didn’t,” Shallan said, blushing as she grabbed some pasty soap from the jar beside the iron tub. "I ain't grouchy," Teft snapped. "I just have a low threshold for stupidity." Pattern buzzed, speaking with a new voice, interpreting the sphere’s words. “I am a stick,” he said. He sounded satisfied. “You could be fire,” Shallan said. “I am a stick.” The stick was not particularly eloquent. She supposed that she shouldn’t be surprised. “Why don’t you become fire instead?” “I am a stick.” ... She looked back at the stick. “You want to burn.” “I am a stick.” “Think how much fun it would be?” “I am a stick.” “Stormlight,” Shallan said. “You could have it! All that I’m holding.” A pause. Finally, “I am a stick.” “Sticks need Stormlight. For . . . things . . .” Shallan blinked away tears of fatigue. “I am—” “—a stick,” Shallan said. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hoid Is Dead Posted September 11, 2015 Report Share Posted September 11, 2015 I can't remember the chapter but it is funny when Wit came back to the camps before the end of the book. Kal: You! Wit: Me! Adol: You! Wit: Me! Shal: You! *hugs* Wit: Don't know what will do. 7 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
windrunner16 Posted September 13, 2015 Report Share Posted September 13, 2015 Just the entire part when Kaladin and Shallan really meet for the first time, when she's not pretending to be a Horneater princess. There's a lot before this, but here's where it's most concentrated: "She took his arm in her freehand as he turned to give orders to his men. 'Is this really all because I lied to you?' she demanded more softly. He looked nack at her. 'It's about doing my job.' 'Your job is to be offensive and asinine?' 'No, I'm offensive and asinine on my own time too. My job is to keep people like you away form Dalinar Kholin.' 'I guarantee he hill want to see me.' 'Well, forgive me for not trusting the word of a Horneater princess. Would you like some shells to chew on while my men tow you away to the dungeons?' All right, that's enough. 'The dungeons sound wonderful!' she said. 'At least there, I'd be away from you, idiot man!' 'Only for a short time. I'd be by to interrogate you.' 'What? I couldn't pick a more pleasant option? Like being excecuted?' 'You're assuming I could find a hangman willing to put up with your blathering long enough to fit the rope.' 'Well, if you want to kill me, you could always let your breath do the job.' ... 'I should envy you,' he said, turning back to her. 'My breath needs to be up close to kill, while that face of yours can kill any man from a distance.' 'Any man?' she asked. 'Why, it's not working on you. I guess that's proof that you're not much of a man.' 'I misspoke. I didn't mean any man, just males of your own species -- but don't worry. I'll take care not to let our chulls get close.' 'Oh? Your parents are in the area, then?' His eyes widened, and for the first time she seemed to have really gotten under his skin. 'My parents have nothing to do with this.' 'Yes, that makes sense. I'd expect that they want nothing to do with you.' 'At least my ancestors had the sense not to breed with a sponge!' he snapped, probably a reference to her red hair. 'At least I know my parentage!'" Sorry for the long quote, but I cannot stop laughing anytime I read this part! 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
natc Posted September 13, 2015 Report Share Posted September 13, 2015 I do feel Shallan went too far there though. His parents really do have nothing to do with this, and we all know how much he cared about them. Everything before that was funny though. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ParadoxicalZen Posted September 14, 2015 Report Share Posted September 14, 2015 (edited) Who knew Shallan was willing lower herself to Yo parent jokes. I hope for more exchanges between those two, especially if Jasnah joined partway through and just put both of them in their place. Would really like it if she ended up in a witty slanging match, especially with Wit. Edited September 14, 2015 by ParadoxSpren 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Colateralwar Posted September 14, 2015 Report Share Posted September 14, 2015 "Hey, is anyone up there? We're down here and we're making bad puns. Save us from ourselves!" Kaladin in the chasms with Shallan. Not sure about the exact wording, but thats the gist of it. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AerionBFII Posted September 14, 2015 Report Share Posted September 14, 2015 (edited) "A bunny rabbit and a chick went frolicking in the grass together on a sunny day.”“A chick . . . baby chicken?” Kaladin said. “And a what?”“Ah, forgot myself for a moment,” Wit said. “Sorry. Let me make it more appropriate for you. A piece of wet slime and a disgusting crab thing with seventeen legs slunk across the rocks together on an insufferably rainy day. Is that better?”“I suppose. Is the story over?”“It hasn’t started yet.”" Can not believe i forgot about this little Gem i always forget they have no idea what they are... The best part about Hoid/Wits character is everybody just thinks he is insane because of his little private jokes.... “We can’t depend upon the ancient writings,” she said. “And the supposed god of men is a fabrication. So we can’t look to the heavens for salvation, but apparently we can’t look toward the past either. So where can we look?” “You’re so convinced that there is no God.”“The Almighty is—”“Oh,” Wit said, “I don’t mean the Almighty. Tanavast was a fine enough fellow—bought me drinks once—but he was not God. I’ll admit, Jasnah, that I empathize with your skepticism, but I don’t agree with it. I just think you’ve been looking for God in the wrong places.” “Ain’t nothing wrong with being a woman, gancho,” Lopen said. “Some of my relatives are women.” “Of course they . . .” He trailed off at Lopen’s grin. Storming Herdazian. How much of what he said was to deliberately sound obtuse? Well, Kaladin had heard men telling jokes about how stupid Herdazians were, but Lopen could talk rings around those men. Of course, half of Lopen’s own jokes were about Herdazians. He seemed to find those extra funny. Edited September 14, 2015 by WEZ313 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maya389 Posted September 30, 2015 Report Share Posted September 30, 2015 wait what do i post to get chull? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maya389 Posted September 30, 2015 Report Share Posted September 30, 2015 i feel like if Hoid, Lopen, Shalan and maybe Jasnah were to have a converstaion that would be verry intresting.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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