DanTheSeamonster Posted May 5, 2015 Report Share Posted May 5, 2015 Oh, you have no earthly idea what the majesty of an Octo-Brandon-Bot in his full glory looks like. ...Nor do I, of course. Well, Mr. Kobold-Octo-Brandon-Bot, I would be impressed if you had seen yourself typing in keyboard shattering glory. Unless of course, you keep a mirror handy for when you write? In which case I applaud your sense of foresight. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rubix Posted May 5, 2015 Report Share Posted May 5, 2015 It's not Kobold. But I know who it is. 13 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kobold King Posted May 5, 2015 Report Share Posted May 5, 2015 It's not Kobold. But I know who it is. The only acceptable response to this revelation is... 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chaos Posted May 5, 2015 Report Share Posted May 5, 2015 I was Brandon all along!! 15 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TwiLyghtSansSparkles Posted May 5, 2015 Report Share Posted May 5, 2015 I was Brandon all along!! Curse my phone and its inability to post an extremely fitting Invader Zim clip! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rubix Posted May 5, 2015 Report Share Posted May 5, 2015 I was Brandon all along!! Nope. Not you. 8 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kobold King Posted May 5, 2015 Report Share Posted May 5, 2015 Nope. Not you. ...is it you? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rubix Posted May 5, 2015 Report Share Posted May 5, 2015 ...is it you? Nope. My identity is fairly easily figured out. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post Sarcasm Posted May 5, 2015 Popular Post Report Share Posted May 5, 2015 (edited) Could it possibly be the person whos username is "Brandon Sanderson?" Edited May 7, 2015 by Sarcasm 28 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kobold King Posted May 5, 2015 Report Share Posted May 5, 2015 Could it possibly be the person whos username is "Brandon Sanderson?" ^This guy's going places. 14 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Screwloose Posted May 5, 2015 Report Share Posted May 5, 2015 (edited) In fact, every member of this forum is actually Brandon, except for you, if you're reading this. Edit: and probably me. Edited May 5, 2015 by Screwloose 8 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sarcasm Posted May 5, 2015 Report Share Posted May 5, 2015 (edited) In fact, every member of this forum is actually Brandon, except for you, if you're reading this. Edit: and probably me. Brandon would say something like that... Edited May 5, 2015 by Sarcasm 10 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mailliw73 Posted May 6, 2015 Report Share Posted May 6, 2015 Could it possibly be the person whos username is "Brandon Sanderson?" That's wayyyy too obvious. "There's always another secret" remember. 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mail-mi Posted May 6, 2015 Report Share Posted May 6, 2015 It's not Kobold. But I know who it is. Wait, is this for real?! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lightsworn Panda Posted May 6, 2015 Report Share Posted May 6, 2015 Wait, is this for real?! Yes, it was Me all along! The Unseen Panda is the deadliest. 8 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Surgebound Rainspren Posted May 6, 2015 Report Share Posted May 6, 2015 Yes, it was Me all along! The Unseen Panda is the deadliest. What....I've been going to school with Brandon Sanderson for three years? 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Voidus Posted May 6, 2015 Report Share Posted May 6, 2015 Is it Zas? He had that long absence right when Brandon released a storm of books... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zas678 Posted May 6, 2015 Report Share Posted May 6, 2015 Man, that would make the BYU Cosmere club WAY cooler if it was being partly organized by Brandon himself. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post Kobold King Posted May 7, 2015 Popular Post Report Share Posted May 7, 2015 What....I've been going to school with Brandon Sanderson for three years? You hear about people secretly being Brandon Sanderson... but you never imagine it could be someone you know. PSA time: 1 in 4 Americans may actually be Brandon Sanderson in disguise (1 in 3 if you live in Utah). Don't let the Bandersnatch catch you unawares. Create passwords for identifying any of your loved ones in a suspicious situation, resisting the urge to use phrases from Cosmere books. Be sure to create passwords that would be impossible even for a genius level author to guess. Next, perform regular drills with your family and friends on how to react if a Sanderson is spotted in your area. It's safest to remain indoors in such an event, avoiding bookstores at all costs until the author has passed the area. 8 out of 10 victims of Sanderson replacement were fans attending a signing--don't become a statistic! When indoors during a Sanderson alert, resist the urge to read his novels. Reputable sources indicate that Brandon Sanderson is capable of manifesting as an astral projection from any of his written works, including blog posts, articles, and the Alcatraz books. If he appears in your home, do not ask him questions. Questions such as "What are you doing in my house" or "How did you get in here" will prompt him to respond with his infamous RAFO, sealing your fate in an instant. In 9 out of 10 cases Sanderson begins his replacements by RAFOing the victim. Again, don't become a statistic! Remember with the rhyme "Questions abandon to avoid being Brandon!" If you suspect a friend or family member of being Brandon Sanderson or spot the man in your area, contact 17th Shard authorities immediately. Do not attempt to engage Sanderson yourself. This is not a man--this is a demigod who has reached the perfect physical, cognitive, and spiritual ideal of humanity. 10 out of 10 Sanderson-mortal encounters end with the mortal's defeat. By reading this, you have successfully raised your chances of getting through a Sanderson encounter unscathed. Join the legions of Sharders aware of the Sanderson menace, and educate your friends and family of the threat he poses to you and society at large! 52 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Elithanathile Posted May 7, 2015 Author Report Share Posted May 7, 2015 So...... good. I just laughed and laughed at that. Of course, if you are actually Brandon, you are just spreading misinformation, with which to ensnare unsuspecting 17th sharders! Don't listen to him people! 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sarcasm Posted May 13, 2015 Report Share Posted May 13, 2015 (edited) You hear about people secretly being Brandon Sanderson... but you never imagine it could be someone you know. PSA time: 1 in 4 Americans may actually be Brandon Sanderson in disguise (1 in 3 if you live in Utah). Don't let the Bandersnatch catch you unawares. Create passwords for identifying any of your loved ones in a suspicious situation, resisting the urge to use phrases from Cosmere books. Be sure to create passwords that would be impossible even for a genius level author to guess. Next, perform regular drills with your family and friends on how to react if a Sanderson is spotted in your area. It's safest to remain indoors in such an event, avoiding bookstores at all costs until the author has passed the area. 8 out of 10 victims of Sanderson replacement were fans attending a signing--don't become a statistic! When indoors during a Sanderson alert, resist the urge to read his novels. Reputable sources indicate that Brandon Sanderson is capable of manifesting as an astral projection from any of his written works, including blog posts, articles, and the Alcatraz books. If he appears in your home, do not ask him questions. Questions such as "What are you doing in my house" or "How did you get in here" will prompt him to respond with his infamous RAFO, sealing your fate in an instant. In 9 out of 10 cases Sanderson begins his replacements by RAFOing the victim. Again, don't become a statistic! Remember with the rhyme "Questions abandon to avoid being Brandon!" If you suspect a friend or family member of being Brandon Sanderson or spot the man in your area, contact 17th Shard authorities immediately. Do not attempt to engage Sanderson yourself. This is not a man--this is a demigod who has reached the perfect physical, cognitive, and spiritual ideal of humanity. 10 out of 10 Sanderson-mortal encounters end with the mortal's defeat. By reading this, you have successfully raised your chances of getting through a Sanderson encounter unscathed. Join the legions of Sharders aware of the Sanderson menace, and educate your friends and family of the threat he poses to you and society at large! Edited May 13, 2015 by Sarcasm 12 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stormgate Posted November 23, 2015 Report Share Posted November 23, 2015 The only way to determine who Sanderson is is to figure out which Sharders know other Sharders in real life. I, warriormark16, and Zephyr are clean. I am sure there are other Sharders that know each other. Then, we take the remaining list of Sharders, corner them, and go all witch-hunt on them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
natc Posted November 23, 2015 Report Share Posted November 23, 2015 The only way to determine who Sanderson is is to figure out which Sharders know other Sharders in real life. I, warriormark16, and Zephyr are clean. I am sure there are other Sharders that know each other. Then, we take the remaining list of Sharders, corner them, and go all witch-hunt on them. But he can just make 2 accounts and lie to give himself an alibi. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Young Bard Posted November 23, 2015 Report Share Posted November 23, 2015 Yeahhh... Good luck with that. There are 11,000 accounts on the Shard. Even though most of them are abandoned at any given time, that leaves... about 1,000 people in a pure estimate that remain a 'regular' part of the Shard (i.e. They will log on again in future.) I call for clarification from Rubix. Do you mean other than the account that is publicly known to be Brandon's? It's also sort of pointless. Using a David-level metaphor, it's like playing a whack-a-mole game if a new mole was created any time an old one was destroyed, except there were 1000 moles you aren't supposed to hit, for every one you should. And you're wearing a blindfold. It's a work in progress. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stormgate Posted November 23, 2015 Report Share Posted November 23, 2015 On the subject of the metaphor, it actually was quite good, if a bit unwieldy. We need the Admins to vouch for each other, then get them to give us a list of regular Shard users (those who have gotten on in say, the past year) and eliminate those that spend a lot of time on here. My logic for the second part is that Sanderson takes a while to respond to fan mail due to writing, why would he be spending hours on end combing through Shard forums? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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