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I too have discovered this:

Vin to Kelsier: Me? I'm the bee knees, but, you? You're just...
Elend: Cockroach ankles!
Vin: Ye- uh, what?

Kelsier: The moon looks beautiful, doesn’t it?
Elend, looking at Kelsier: Yeah… but do you know what’s more beautiful?
Kelsier and Elend in unison: *sighs* Vin

Vin, knocking on the door: Kelsier, open up!
Kelsier: It all started when I was a kid.
Vin: That’s not what I-
Elend: Let him finish!

Elend: Vin and I were crossing the street, and this man drove by and honked at us.
Kelsier: What did you do?
Elend: She chased him to the next red light, and reached into his window, and-
Vin: *walking in* Who wants a steering wheel?

Kelsier: I am strong! I beat Elend at arm wrestling!
Vin: Anyone can beat Elend at arm wrestling!
Elend: Hey-

Kelsier: If you water water, it grows.
Vin: ...What.
Spook: He's got a point.

Elend, reading a recipe: Beat three eggs?
Vin: It means like in hand-to-hand combat.
Elend: Ohhhh-
Dockson: Both of you get out of this kitchen.

Syl: Would you slap Shallan-
Kaladin: Yes.
Syl: I didn't even finish!
Kaladin: Sorry, continue.
Syl: Would you slap Shallan for 10 dollars?
Kaladin: I would do it for free.
Shallan: Rude...

Shallan: Guess what number I’m thinking of.
Kaladin: 420?
Shallan: No, that’s really immature of you. Someone else guess, and please take this seriously.
Syl: 69.
Shallan: Yeah it was 69.

Shallan: Kaladin won’t come out of their room!
Syl: Just tell them I said something.
Shallan: Like what?
Syl: Anything factually incorrect.
Shallan, shrugging: If you say so.
Kaladin, arriving moments later: Did you just say the sun is a PLANET?

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12 minutes ago, EmulatonStromenkiin said:

I too have discovered this:

Vin to Kelsier: Me? I'm the bee knees, but, you? You're just...
Elend: Cockroach ankles!
Vin: Ye- uh, what?

Kelsier: The moon looks beautiful, doesn’t it?
Elend, looking at Kelsier: Yeah… but do you know what’s more beautiful?
Kelsier and Elend in unison: *sighs* Vin

Vin, knocking on the door: Kelsier, open up!
Kelsier: It all started when I was a kid.
Vin: That’s not what I-
Elend: Let him finish!

Elend: Vin and I were crossing the street, and this man drove by and honked at us.
Kelsier: What did you do?
Elend: She chased him to the next red light, and reached into his window, and-
Vin: *walking in* Who wants a steering wheel?

Kelsier: I am strong! I beat Elend at arm wrestling!
Vin: Anyone can beat Elend at arm wrestling!
Elend: Hey-

Kelsier: If you water water, it grows.
Vin: ...What.
Spook: He's got a point.

Elend, reading a recipe: Beat three eggs?
Vin: It means like in hand-to-hand combat.
Elend: Ohhhh-
Dockson: Both of you get out of this kitchen.

Syl: Would you slap Shallan-
Kaladin: Yes.
Syl: I didn't even finish!
Kaladin: Sorry, continue.
Syl: Would you slap Shallan for 10 dollars?
Kaladin: I would do it for free.
Shallan: Rude...

Shallan: Guess what number I’m thinking of.
Kaladin: 420?
Shallan: No, that’s really immature of you. Someone else guess, and please take this seriously.
Syl: 69.
Shallan: Yeah it was 69.

Shallan: Kaladin won’t come out of their room!
Syl: Just tell them I said something.
Shallan: Like what?
Syl: Anything factually incorrect.
Shallan, shrugging: If you say so.
Kaladin, arriving moments later: Did you just say the sun is a PLANET?

Lmao 

 

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Syl: I told Kaladin that their ears turn red when they lie.
Adolin: Do they?
Syl: No.
Adolin: Then why did you tell them that?
Syl: Because I can do this.
Syl: Hey Kaladin! Do you love us?
Kaladin, with their hands over their ears: No

Shallan: Can I have 2 straws with that milkshake?
Adolin: Aww-
Shallan: With 2 straws, I can drink it double as fast!

Adolin: Ew. What kind of tea is this?
Shallan: I boiled gatorade.

Kaladin: That’s the longest worm I’ve ever seen.
Shallan: That’s a snake.

Adolin: How are you today?
Kaladin: Please don’t make me think about my life.

Shallan: What the hell were you thinking?
Kaladin: I heard releasing birds at a wedding is romantic!
Shallan: You released OSTRICHES!

Syl: Is stabbing someone immoral?
Shallan: Not if they consent to it.
Kaladin: Depends on who your stabbing.
Adolin: YES??!!?

Navani: I need 28 lightbulbs for 28 ducks.
Shallan: Ducks can’t eat lightbulbs?
Kaladin: I think that’s the point.
Navani: Exactly. I want my ducks to glow so I can find them.

Adolin: I know this isn’t going to end well and I don’t care. So don’t you try and stop me, Shallan!
Shallan: I wasn’t stopping you. I was asking if you had a spare camera so I can record this

Dalinar: Are you having another depressive episode?
Kaladin: A depressive episode?
Kaladin: I'm having a depressive series and we're just on season one

 

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  • 2 weeks later...
On 5/13/2022 at 5:18 PM, EmulatonStromenkiin said:

Syl: Is stabbing someone immoral?
Shallan: Not if they consent to it.
Kaladin: Depends on who your stabbing.
Adolin: YES??!!?

I would flip the bottom two attributions because, ya know, [WoR Spoilers].

Also:

Person: ...and you are a hypocrite!

Dalinar: Sometimes, a hypocrite is just someone in the process of changing.

Bavadin: I'm not a hypocrite, we are a god. There's a difference.

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19 hours ago, Personification said:

I would flip the bottom two attributions because, ya know, [WoR Spoilers].

Also:

Person: ...and you are a hypocrite!

Dalinar: Sometimes, a hypocrite is just someone in the process of changing.

Bavadin: I'm not a hypocrite, we are a god. There's a difference.

It could go either way.

Many sharders: 

DramaQueen: How do you connect with a fictional character?
person 1: What?
person 2: What?
person 3: What?
Person 4: *pulls up a 500 slide presentation* I'm glad you asked.

Thank you for posting, now another quote dump: (spoiler for size)

Roshar:

Spoiler

 

Odium: Well you see, the explanation is perfectly simple and scientific. It was because shut up. Shut up is why.

Odium: Clownery. Tomfoolery. Absolute idiocy, I am going to revoke your life privileges

Teft: You treat an outside wound with rubbing alcohol. You treat an inside wound with drinking alcohol.(not the best, who do you think this fits better?)

Me: As someone who has a long history of not understanding anything, I feel confident in my ability to continue not knowing what is going on.

Kaladin: Sometimes I wonder if I’m hearing voices.
Kaladin: Then I remember that’s the last bit of sanity I have trying to get me to fall asleep at a reasonable time.

Odium: You seem familiar... have I threatened you before?

Jasnah: I currently have 7 empty notebooks and I have no idea what to put in them. Any suggestions?
Shallan: Put spaghetti in it.
Jasnah: I am currently taking suggestions from everyone but you.
Hoid: Put spaghetti in it.
Jasnah: I am currently taking suggestions from everyone but you two.
Lift: Put spaghetti in it.
Jasnah: I am no longer taking suggestions.

Blackthorn: I scare people a lot because I walk very softly and they don't hear me enter rooms. So when they turn around, I'm just kind of there and their fear fuels me.

Shallan, handing a balloon to Kaladin: I have no soul. Have a good day!
Kaladin, walking off: I don't have one either.

Kaladin: *Posts a super low-quality image to the group chat*
Shallan: If I had a dollar for every pixel in this image, I’d have 15 cents.
Kaladin: If I had a dollar for every ounce of rage I felt in my body after I read this text, I would have enough money to buy a cannon to fire at you.
Renarin: Actually I did the math, Person B would have $225, not $0.15.
Kaladin: Fam I’m right here....
Lift: If I had a dollar I would buy a can of soda :)
Kaladin: while you’re there could you buy me an apply juice please?
Lift: Sorry I only have a dollar.
Kaladin::(
Renarin: Hey I just realized my friend is right, Person B would have $22,500 because it's a dollar for every pixel, not a cent.
Lift: If I had $22,500 I would buy a can of soda and an apply juice.
Renarin: You can buy anything you want with $22,500.
Adolin: Yeah and they want soda and apply juice.
Renarin: Apply juice to what.
Adolin: Directly to the forehead.
Kaladin: Great chat everyone.

*At a bank teller window*
Lift, in a bad Italian accent: I'd like-a to make-a da deposit!
Teller: HEY BUDDY, WAIT, I REMEMBER YOU!
Lift: *Frantically pours marinara sauce into the vacuum tube*
Teller: STORMIT, IT'S THEM AGAIN!

Dalinar: So, Lift is no longer allowed to take the trash out at night.
Shallan: Why?
Dalinar: Because I've caught them trying to train raccoons to fight five times in a row.
Lift, arms crossed and pouting: You'll be thanking me when the third raccoon battalion saves your butt.

Amaram: Enough! How dare you mock me in such a manner!?
Wit: Well. How would you like me to mock you? I take requests.

Shallan: Are oranges named orange because oranges are orange or is orange called orange because oranges are orange?
Navani: Which came first, the orange or the orange?
Renarin: Orange was first used to refer the fruit 1280 years ago but was not used as a color until 1000 years ago.
Kaladin: What was the color called before then?
Lift: There was no color, duh! Everything was black and white!

Dalinar, setting down a card: Ace of spades.
Shallan, pulling out an Uno card: +4.
Lift, pulling out a Pokémon card: Jolteon, I choose you!
Kaladin, trembling: What are we playing?!

 

Scadrial:

Spoiler

Ham: What if the person who named Walkie Talkies named everything?
Ham: Pregnancy tests are Maybe Babies.
Spook: Socks are Feetie Heaties.
Dox: Defibrillators are Heartie Starties.
Kelsier: Nightmares are Dreamy Screamies.
Vin: Stamps are Lickie Stickies.
Breeze: I hate you guys so much

Kelsier: Croissants: dropped
Dox: Road: works ahead
Elend: BBQ sauce: on my face
Spook: Shavacado: fre
Ham: Miss Keisha: very dead
Breeze:
Breeze: ...I didn’t understand a single word of that and I hate every single one of you.

Kelsier: I’m the smartest person in my friend group.
Elend: You hang out with Ham, Spook, Dox, and Breeze.
Elend: It’s not as high a compliment as you think.

Elend: The floor is lava!
Ham: *helps Breeze onto the counter*
Spook: *kicks Dox off the sofa*
Vin: *lays on the floor*
Elend: ...Are you okay?
Vin: No.

Kelsier: Rules were made to be broken.
Elend: They were made to be followed. Nothing is made to be broken.
Ham: Uh, piñatas.
Dox: Glow sticks.
Kelsier: Karate boards.
Vin: Spaghetti when you have a small pot.
Breeze: Rules.
Elend:

Spook: Between Kelsier, Vin, Dox, and Breeze -- if you had to -- who would you punch?
Elend: No one! They're my friends. I wouldn't punch any of them.
Spook: Dox?
Elend: Yeah, but I don't know why.

Dox: We’re kind of missing something guys.
Vin: Cohesion?
Spook: Teamwork?
Ham: A general sense of what we’re doing?
Elend: And Kelsier is not here.
Vin: Oh, and that, yeah.

Vin: Stressed.
Kelsier: Depressed.
Dox: Possessed.
Elend: Obsessed.
Spook: Impressed.
Ham: Chicken breast.
Everyone: ...What?
Ham: I just wanted to join in

Kelsier: So, did everyone learn their lesson?
Spook: No.
Breeze: I did not.
Ham: I may have actually forgotten one.
Elend: Also no.
Kelsier: Oh good, neither did I.
Dox: *Exhausted sigh*

Breeze: I can’t tell if you’re a genius or just incredibly arrogant.
Kelsier: Well, on a good day, I’m both.

Sel:

Spoiler

Sarene: You’re just being paranoid. Again.
Iadon: When have I been paranoid?
Sarene: Um, when you first met Dilaf you thought they were an undercover cop…?
Iadon: No one has a wart that big, I thought it was a surveillance camera!
Sarene: And last year you were sure Hrathen was a mermaid!
Iadon: They hate wearing shirts! COINCIDENCE?!
*Later, when Kiin’s theory is proven wrong*
Sarene: Do you have anything to say for yourself?
Iadon: I still think Hrathen is a mermaid.

Dilaf: You were wise to seek help from the world's most deadly weapon.
Dilaf: It's me.

Raoden: If you took a shot for every time you made a bad decision, how drunk would you be?
Sarene: Maybe a bit tipsy?
Galladon: Drunk.
Dilaf: Wasted.
Iadon: Dead.

Raoden: What did you guys get in your yearbook?
Sarene: 'Prettiest Smile'
Hrathen: 'Nicest Personality'
Dilaf: 'Most likely to start a bar fight'
Kiin: 'Least likely to start a bar fight, but most likely to win one'

Sarene: Kiin's refusing to wear their gla**es!
Kiin: Sarene, look, I wore the gla**es for a day. My eyes are much better now. Watch.
Kiin: *points to Hrathen* Hrathen.
Kiin: *points to Raoden* Raoden.
Kiin: *points to Galladon* Sasquatch.

Dilaf: Where's Hrathen, Sarene, and Raoden?
Galladon: They're playing hide and seek.
Dilaf: Where?
Galladon: I don't think you get how this game works.

*the squad is at a dinner party but someone has been murdered*
Kiin: You’re acting pretty carefree for someone who’s life’s at stake. Who’s to say you aren’t the killer?
Sarene: It’s a murder, not a tax audit. I’ll be fine.
Dilaf: What about Galladon? Nobody ever suspects Galladon!
Galladon: Well what about Iadon? They have a gun!
Iadon: Kiin has a knife.
Kiin: Yeah, for fun, not for murder! *stabs Dilaf in the arm*

Raoden: Why isn’t the statue smirking at me?
Sarene: It isn’t smirking at anyone, they’re all just imagining it.
Iodon: Three of us saw it, Sarene. How do you explain that?
Sarene: *points at Hrathen* Sleep deprivation. *points at Iadon* Paranoia. *points at Dilaf* Delusional personality disorder.

 

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5 hours ago, EmulatonStromenkiin said:

It could go either way.

Many sharders: 

DramaQueen: How do you connect with a fictional character?
person 1: What?
person 2: What?
person 3: What?
Person 4: *pulls up a 500 slide presentation* I'm glad you asked.

Thank you for posting, now another quote dump: (spoiler for size)

Roshar:

  Hide contents

 

Odium: Well you see, the explanation is perfectly simple and scientific. It was because shut up. Shut up is why.

Odium: Clownery. Tomfoolery. Absolute idiocy, I am going to revoke your life privileges

Teft: You treat an outside wound with rubbing alcohol. You treat an inside wound with drinking alcohol.(not the best, who do you think this fits better?)

Me: As someone who has a long history of not understanding anything, I feel confident in my ability to continue not knowing what is going on.

Kaladin: Sometimes I wonder if I’m hearing voices.
Kaladin: Then I remember that’s the last bit of sanity I have trying to get me to fall asleep at a reasonable time.

Odium: You seem familiar... have I threatened you before?

Jasnah: I currently have 7 empty notebooks and I have no idea what to put in them. Any suggestions?
Shallan: Put spaghetti in it.
Jasnah: I am currently taking suggestions from everyone but you.
Hoid: Put spaghetti in it.
Jasnah: I am currently taking suggestions from everyone but you two.
Lift: Put spaghetti in it.
Jasnah: I am no longer taking suggestions.

Blackthorn: I scare people a lot because I walk very softly and they don't hear me enter rooms. So when they turn around, I'm just kind of there and their fear fuels me.

Shallan, handing a balloon to Kaladin: I have no soul. Have a good day!
Kaladin, walking off: I don't have one either.

Kaladin: *Posts a super low-quality image to the group chat*
Shallan: If I had a dollar for every pixel in this image, I’d have 15 cents.
Kaladin: If I had a dollar for every ounce of rage I felt in my body after I read this text, I would have enough money to buy a cannon to fire at you.
Renarin: Actually I did the math, Person B would have $225, not $0.15.
Kaladin: Fam I’m right here....
Lift: If I had a dollar I would buy a can of soda :)
Kaladin: while you’re there could you buy me an apply juice please?
Lift: Sorry I only have a dollar.
Kaladin::(
Renarin: Hey I just realized my friend is right, Person B would have $22,500 because it's a dollar for every pixel, not a cent.
Lift: If I had $22,500 I would buy a can of soda and an apply juice.
Renarin: You can buy anything you want with $22,500.
Adolin: Yeah and they want soda and apply juice.
Renarin: Apply juice to what.
Adolin: Directly to the forehead.
Kaladin: Great chat everyone.

*At a bank teller window*
Lift, in a bad Italian accent: I'd like-a to make-a da deposit!
Teller: HEY BUDDY, WAIT, I REMEMBER YOU!
Lift: *Frantically pours marinara sauce into the vacuum tube*
Teller: STORMIT, IT'S THEM AGAIN!

Dalinar: So, Lift is no longer allowed to take the trash out at night.
Shallan: Why?
Dalinar: Because I've caught them trying to train raccoons to fight five times in a row.
Lift, arms crossed and pouting: You'll be thanking me when the third raccoon battalion saves your butt.

Amaram: Enough! How dare you mock me in such a manner!?
Wit: Well. How would you like me to mock you? I take requests.

Shallan: Are oranges named orange because oranges are orange or is orange called orange because oranges are orange?
Navani: Which came first, the orange or the orange?
Renarin: Orange was first used to refer the fruit 1280 years ago but was not used as a color until 1000 years ago.
Kaladin: What was the color called before then?
Lift: There was no color, duh! Everything was black and white!

Dalinar, setting down a card: Ace of spades.
Shallan, pulling out an Uno card: +4.
Lift, pulling out a Pokémon card: Jolteon, I choose you!
Kaladin, trembling: What are we playing?!

 

Scadrial:

  Hide contents

Ham: What if the person who named Walkie Talkies named everything?
Ham: Pregnancy tests are Maybe Babies.
Spook: Socks are Feetie Heaties.
Dox: Defibrillators are Heartie Starties.
Kelsier: Nightmares are Dreamy Screamies.
Vin: Stamps are Lickie Stickies.
Breeze: I hate you guys so much

Kelsier: Croissants: dropped
Dox: Road: works ahead
Elend: BBQ sauce: on my face
Spook: Shavacado: fre
Ham: Miss Keisha: very dead
Breeze:
Breeze: ...I didn’t understand a single word of that and I hate every single one of you.

Kelsier: I’m the smartest person in my friend group.
Elend: You hang out with Ham, Spook, Dox, and Breeze.
Elend: It’s not as high a compliment as you think.

Elend: The floor is lava!
Ham: *helps Breeze onto the counter*
Spook: *kicks Dox off the sofa*
Vin: *lays on the floor*
Elend: ...Are you okay?
Vin: No.

Kelsier: Rules were made to be broken.
Elend: They were made to be followed. Nothing is made to be broken.
Ham: Uh, piñatas.
Dox: Glow sticks.
Kelsier: Karate boards.
Vin: Spaghetti when you have a small pot.
Breeze: Rules.
Elend:

Spook: Between Kelsier, Vin, Dox, and Breeze -- if you had to -- who would you punch?
Elend: No one! They're my friends. I wouldn't punch any of them.
Spook: Dox?
Elend: Yeah, but I don't know why.

Dox: We’re kind of missing something guys.
Vin: Cohesion?
Spook: Teamwork?
Ham: A general sense of what we’re doing?
Elend: And Kelsier is not here.
Vin: Oh, and that, yeah.

Vin: Stressed.
Kelsier: Depressed.
Dox: Possessed.
Elend: Obsessed.
Spook: Impressed.
Ham: Chicken breast.
Everyone: ...What?
Ham: I just wanted to join in

Kelsier: So, did everyone learn their lesson?
Spook: No.
Breeze: I did not.
Ham: I may have actually forgotten one.
Elend: Also no.
Kelsier: Oh good, neither did I.
Dox: *Exhausted sigh*

Breeze: I can’t tell if you’re a genius or just incredibly arrogant.
Kelsier: Well, on a good day, I’m both.

Sel:

  Hide contents

Sarene: You’re just being paranoid. Again.
Iadon: When have I been paranoid?
Sarene: Um, when you first met Dilaf you thought they were an undercover cop…?
Iadon: No one has a wart that big, I thought it was a surveillance camera!
Sarene: And last year you were sure Hrathen was a mermaid!
Iadon: They hate wearing shirts! COINCIDENCE?!
*Later, when Kiin’s theory is proven wrong*
Sarene: Do you have anything to say for yourself?
Iadon: I still think Hrathen is a mermaid.

Dilaf: You were wise to seek help from the world's most deadly weapon.
Dilaf: It's me.

Raoden: If you took a shot for every time you made a bad decision, how drunk would you be?
Sarene: Maybe a bit tipsy?
Galladon: Drunk.
Dilaf: Wasted.
Iadon: Dead.

Raoden: What did you guys get in your yearbook?
Sarene: 'Prettiest Smile'
Hrathen: 'Nicest Personality'
Dilaf: 'Most likely to start a bar fight'
Kiin: 'Least likely to start a bar fight, but most likely to win one'

Sarene: Kiin's refusing to wear their gla**es!
Kiin: Sarene, look, I wore the gla**es for a day. My eyes are much better now. Watch.
Kiin: *points to Hrathen* Hrathen.
Kiin: *points to Raoden* Raoden.
Kiin: *points to Galladon* Sasquatch.

Dilaf: Where's Hrathen, Sarene, and Raoden?
Galladon: They're playing hide and seek.
Dilaf: Where?
Galladon: I don't think you get how this game works.

*the squad is at a dinner party but someone has been murdered*
Kiin: You’re acting pretty carefree for someone who’s life’s at stake. Who’s to say you aren’t the killer?
Sarene: It’s a murder, not a tax audit. I’ll be fine.
Dilaf: What about Galladon? Nobody ever suspects Galladon!
Galladon: Well what about Iadon? They have a gun!
Iadon: Kiin has a knife.
Kiin: Yeah, for fun, not for murder! *stabs Dilaf in the arm*

Raoden: Why isn’t the statue smirking at me?
Sarene: It isn’t smirking at anyone, they’re all just imagining it.
Iodon: Three of us saw it, Sarene. How do you explain that?
Sarene: *points at Hrathen* Sleep deprivation. *points at Iadon* Paranoia. *points at Dilaf* Delusional personality disorder.

 

am I the only one who read these how I imagine their voices? (or read Galladon like Rock.)

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Lightsong: Maybe the true treasure was friendship all along. But I hope not, because I can’t spend friendship on new clothes.

Vasher: I will send my army to attack!
Vasher: *releases a dumpster of raccoons*

Vasher: I'm feeling it! What am I feeling? Death, probably.

Siri: I've never encountered a problem that can't be solved by an spontaneous musical number.

Lightsong: Sometimes I'll start a sentence and I don't even know where it's going. I just hope I find it along the way.

Lightsong: Welcome to my very first vlog, in which I try different hair products!
Lightsong: *sprays hairspray in their mouth*
Lightsong: Well, right off the bat I can tell you this one is not very good.

Vasher: My expectations are low, but they can always go lower.

Lightsong: I hate when people ask me, 'What did you do today?' Buddy listen, I woke up at noon and then it was five p.m., okay? I don't KNOW!

Nightblood: I’m gonna mix a can of Red Bull with seventeen shots of espresso in a fishbowl and then chug it while Kids by MGMT plays in the background so I can perceive twenty-three spatial dimensions and fight my own soul.

Vasher: *Picks up hammer and breaks ringing cell phone.*

Nightblood: My only talent is being stress.
Vivenna: Don't you mean stressed?
Nightblood: No

Susebron: Are you coming to bed?
Siri: I can't. This is important.
Susebron: What?
Siri: Someone is wrong on the internet.

*at a zoo*
Vasher: What are they in for?
Vivenna: Vivenna, this isn't prison.
Vasher: So they can leave?
Vivenna: No, but-
Vasher, pointing at a meerkat: I bet that one murdered someone.

Lightsong: Just so everyone knows, don't ever try to climb a tree at night carrying a strobe light, owls DON'T like it.
Siri: ...what happened?
Lightsong: I made a VERY bad mistake.

Vasher: When I first met you, I did not like you.
Vivenna: I'm aware of that.
Vasher: But then you and I had some time together.
Vivenna: Uh-huh?
Vasher: It did not get better.

Siri: I did it! I memorized everything in the book! I'm gonna ace this test!
Lightsong: Ok, Siri, I'll give you one more question before you go. What ended in 1918?
Siri: 1917.
Lightsong: ...You're ready.

Susebron: I’m afraid of clowns. There, I said it.
Vivenna: Susebron, if you don't like clowns, why are you hanging with Siri?

Vasher: Is anyone going to tell me what's going on in here?!
Susebron: It's kind of complicated, but Vivenna-
Vasher: Got it. Forget I asked.

Vivenna: We can’t tell you because you’re not a member of the club.
Vasher: What club?
Susebron: The hating Vasher club.
Vasher: …What? I should be the leader of that club!    (wrong people except vasher, but can't figure out who else.)

Lightsong: What are you writing?
Vasher: The government wants to know what kind of weapons we have in the house. I'm letting them know it's private information.
Siri, looking over Vasher's shoulder: This just says 'come around and find out' in calligraphy.

Lightsong: Hey, what are you reading?
Vasher: This is my magic book where any ink spilled shows a scripture of the future, however it bears a curse making it broken, and as such in order to make any scripture appears, I have to do it myself.
Lightsong: Impressive! I must have it for myself!
Vivenna: So it’s just a Notebook?
Vasher: It’s just a Notebook.

Vivenna: What are you two arguing about this time?
Siri: They’re always using common phrases incorrectly!
Vasher: Cry me a table, Siri.

Vivenna: We’re playing Scrabble. It’s a nightmare.
Nightblood: Scrabble? Scrabble’s great.
Vivenna: Not when you’re playing with Siri, it’s not. They put words like “ephemeral” and I put “dog.”

Nightblood: Welcome to Applebees, do you want apples or bees?
Vivenna: Bees?
Nightblood: THEY HAVE SELECTED THE BEES!
Vivenna: Wait-
*Vasher approaches, shaking a jar of bees menacingly*

Siri: What’s it like being tall?
Siri: Is it nice?
Siri: Can you reach comfortably for the cupboards?
Susebron: We live in constant fear of the short ones who, in my experience, will climb 4 chairs, 2 boxes, a small coffee table and 6 oddly placed stools to get what they want.
Vasher: It was one time!

Lightsong & Siri: *accidentally set the kitchen on fire*
Lightsong: We need an adult!
Siri: Lightsong, you are an adult!
Lightsong: We need an adultier adult! Get Vivenna!

Susebron: I think I did fairly well on my anatomy quiz! :)
Siri: I forgot I was doing a test.
Susebron: Siri.
Siri: I said the vertebrae was the back stick because I thought it was funny....
Vivenna: Siri.

 

Edited by EmulatonStromenkiin
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10 hours ago, EmulatonStromenkiin said:

Vivenna: We can’t tell you because you’re not a member of the club.
Vasher: What club?
Susebron: The hating Vasher club.
Vasher: …What? I should be the leader of that club!    (wrong people except vasher, but can't figure out who else.)

I think Denth would work. 

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  • 3 weeks later...
On 5/23/2022 at 6:21 AM, EmulatonStromenkiin said:

 

  Hide contents

Dalinar: So, Lift is no longer allowed to take the trash out at night.
Shallan: Why?
Dalinar: Because I've caught them trying to train raccoons to fight five times in a row.
Lift, arms crossed and pouting: You'll be thanking me when the third raccoon battalion saves your butt.

 

This was my favorite one

I'm dying XD

 

 

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  • 1 month later...

Silly quotes made NOT by a generator:

 

Kaladin: Adolin, you've seemed really heliocentric lately.

Adolin: Hey! How do I deserve that?

Kaladin: Did I insult you?

Adolin: Yeah! You said... I'm... oh...

Shallan: Heliocentric. It means you go around the sun.*

Adolin: Storm it.

 

Wit: You can do it! I believe in you!

Kaladin: Wait, really?

Wit: You're dating someone. Anything is possible.

Kaladin: Lyn broke up with me five weeks ago.

Wit *shrugs*: Still.

 

*Not strictly exactly perfectly correct, but close enough.

Edited by Shallan Stormblessed
Adding footnote*
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I messed around with an A.I.

Quote

Kaladin saw the black cat and knew he was going to die. 

He tried to move but discovered he couldn't.
 
The pain flared up suddenly, and he groaned.
 
What ... was wrong with him?
 
In a distant part of his mind, he felt himself scream.
 
He glanced down.
 
The blood around him was gone.
 
Gone.
 
His hand didn't even seem to be pierced.
 
Was he dead?
 
What had happened?
 
"Stormfather, Kaladin!"
 
Syl cried.
 
"Don't die!"
 
Kal was a swift, determined man.
 
As he ran, he considered why he felt so determined.
 
Perhaps because of the death of his friend Adolin.
 
His legs pushed harder, his breathing grew labored.
 
He burst from the bush, just barely avoiding another arrow.
 
He didn't bother to consider why.
 
Couldn't think about that.
 
He had to run.
 
As he drew his weapon, a group of spearmen chased him.
 
He threw a Stormlight spell at them, turning them and throwing them off their feet.
 
Then he barreled forward, one fist raised, followed by his Shardblade.
 
He knew the life and death of men, could feel death as a hot fist inside him, seeking

 

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I've been messing around with an A.I. again

Quote

Szeth-son-son-Vallano, Truthless of Shinovar, wore white on the day he was to kill a king. The white clothing was a Parshendi tradition, foreign to him. But he did as his masters required and did not ask for an explanation. The bright cloth was stark against the dead white of the marble. An assassin of the Alethi army, he had been assigned to assassinate King Gavilar of Jah Keved, whose brutal reign was well-known throughout the empire. The Voidbringers were supposedly returning, and they were said to unleash an unholy tempest. No one knew what lay beyond the storm, but the king was stubborn in his refusal to acknowledge their existence. He treated every single Voidbringer on the Parshendi world of Cathay with utter contempt. It was one thing to kill the king—but to kill the king's eyes? No. He would not die that way. Szeth's assassination would end the king's life with dignity.

 
Szeth sought the king's prison, but the place was guarded by soldiers and sentries. An Alethi guard scanned him, and Szeth dropped to the floor, landing silently. He was quick and light on his feet, a maneuver he'd learned from the Sylhead. The sentry recoiled from him with an oath, and Szeth moved. He breathed out softly,

And here's an alternate storyline

Quote

Szeth-son-son-Vallano, Truthless of Shinovar, wore white on the day he was to kill a king. The white clothing was a Parshendi tradition, foreign to him. But he did as his masters required and did not ask for an explanation. He remembered that day even now, as he fought for his life against a blue-skinned, kandra-born assassin. But the memories were bitter.

 
He had been too late. Mraize, the king of Alethkar, had passed on to the next world just before the assassin arrived. They fought for a long while, both equally skilled. But at last, Szeth had found his mark and slain the king.
 
He was going to have his revenge.
 
But the assassin had made one last strike before he could claim the crown. That hit would change Szeth's life forever.
 
He was brought back to the training yard as a Shardbearer. He did not fight, even though he was a Shardbearer. He instead sat in a chair, bound to it and wearing the white tunic. His wound was patched, though not a complete healed. A shower of Shardblades continued to rain down on the yard, but he was too weak to lift his hand to stop it.
 
No one noticed him as he watched Kaladin's bridgemen train.
 
Yes, Kaladin's team. It was a difficult set of exercises. The bridgemen pace

It seems to know some stormlight terms. Such as a kandra-born assassin or Mraize the king of alethkar.

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Spoiler
18 hours ago, The Wandering Wizard said:

I've been messing around with an A.I. again

And here's an alternate storyline

It seems to know some stormlight terms. Such as a kandra-born assassin or Mraize the king of alethkar.

 

Did you mean Mistborn Terms?

@The Wandering Wizard

Edited by Ta'veren Kaladin
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