NaNoWriMo Prep

[cjhuitt]

1. Exaggeration: In what aspect are they wildly different than the reader?
   
2. Exotic position: In what way is their setting interesting?
   
3. Introduction: What is a typical and memorable character action they can be performing when first introduced?
   
4. Empathy: How will their initial setup, problem, or goal make the reader empathize with them? (I'm deviating a bit on this from what the post says, but I think it's worthwhile.)
   
5. Tags and Traits: How will the reader consistently know who it is on-screen?
   

For my antagonist in the upcoming NaNo story, Damien:

1. Exaggeration: The best swordfighter in the kingdom, far and away. He's scary-good.
   
2. Exotic position: The King's Sword, a mix of executor and enforcer of the king.
   
3. Introduction: Beating Guntram to win his fifth Tourney in a row.
   
4. Empathy: At least at first, he appears honorable in how he defeats Guntram. Even as the novel progresses, he tries to do what is best for his family.
   
5. Tags and Traits: Dark mustache, whip-thin, tall, scar on one cheek (near mouth), smirks (with other side of mouth, mostly), unfailingly polite.
   

For another major character, kind of between antagonist and force-of-nature, Ulberic:

1. Exaggeration: An ancient water mage. He was the last to win the sword (multiple centuries ago).
   
2. Exotic position: A hermit living well into the foothills of the southern mountains.
   
3. Introduction: Facing down the King's armies as he tries to obtain the sword for himself.
   
4. Empathy: He has spent untold centuries of his life trying to destroy the sword, which he considers evil. He has at least managed to keep it from influencing the rest of the world.
   
5. Tags and Traits: Great white beard, deep blue eyes. Large nose. Wild white hair, always sticking out. Deep blue robe. Very private: doesn't eat or drink in front of anyone. Avoids all physical contact with others.
   

[cjhuitt]

Now it is time to move from characters back to plot. Remember when you wrote a story question? (You can review it again now if you'd like.)

1. Read Jim Butcher's article on the great swampy middle.
   
2. Write down the following three things:
   
   1. 
      
   2. Beginning: How is the main event set in motion. This should come out of the story question, since it had <When event happens> in it.
      
   3. End: How will the story question be resolved?
      
   4. Middle: What is a Big Middle you can use? Remember to both add a lot of drama, and set things in motion.
      

You don't necessarily have to do them in that order, but I find it is the order that helps me when figuring out what the middle should have.

For extra credit, repeat the above for the story you are currently revising. For additional extra credit, consider the other options presented for solving the great swampy middle and see if you can't add them to your planning as well.

[Thought]

I like how you've set Ember up. My main concern is that her introduction should perhaps be along the lines of her imagining something into the world, or at least include that aspect, since it seems to be an important aspect of her character.

Thanks. I had thought about the same, but was having trouble with making it clear (originally she was imagining up George Washington to do that, but then that felt like it was telling us about his character instead of her own). But your concern is the validation I need to go back to the drawing board and work on it more! Thanks again.

For my main character for the upcoming NaNo novel, Guntram Holder:

1. Exaggeration: One of the best swordfighters of his generation, and focused on becoming the best.

For my antagonist in the upcoming NaNo story, Damien:

1. Exaggeration: The best swordfighter in the kingdom, far and away. He's scary-good.

My concern here is that you have two characters who are exaggerated in exactly the same one (it is just a difference of the amount of exaggeration). At least as I understand this exercise, the goal is to make a character memorable and unique. By having two the same, it seems like it makes it harder for the reader to keep them separate.

It sounds like their skills at the sword are fundamental to the story, but is there perhaps some other way you can exaggerate them? Perhaps D-man actually lost his right hand during childhood, but is still the best swordsman around (exaggerating him in a Princess Bride direction)? Or perhaps he's big and strong enough that he can use a zwiehander as easily as a rapier? Or an exaggeration in a different direction? He could be the most stringent follower of the chivalric code. Or, G-man could be any of the above (or more) instead.

Edited October 8, 2012 by Thought

[Mindie]

Those must be some pretty bad kids, because I know a mom of 12 kids, and she's fine, albeit stressed occasionally..

You must not be a mother yourself. I don't think I could explain it so that you understand. It's a story for a very small audience. I am a mom my self and gosh, I just want to run away. Perhaps this story is to much of a Mary Sue........

[cjhuitt]

My concern here is that you have two characters who are exaggerated in exactly the same one (it is just a difference of the amount of exaggeration). At least as I understand this exercise, the goal is to make a character memorable and unique. By having two the same, it seems like it makes it harder for the reader to keep them separate.

It sounds like their skills at the sword are fundamental to the story, but is there perhaps some other way you can exaggerate them? Perhaps D-man actually lost his right hand during childhood, but is still the best swordsman around (exaggerating him in a Princess Bride direction)? Or perhaps he's big and strong enough that he can use a zwiehander as easily as a rapier? Or an exaggeration in a different direction? He could be the most stringent follower of the chivalric code. Or, G-man could be any of the above (or more) instead.

As you say, they are exaggerated in the same way. I will probably need to resolve that somehow, but right now I'm at a loss for how. I'll probably have to change Guntram's exaggerated aspect, somehow.

[Thought]

Would it ruin the story if instead of being the second best swordsman, he starts out as the worst?

[cjhuitt]

Would it ruin the story if instead of being the second best swordsman, he starts out as the worst?

Probably. He has to start out at least competent, so that 1) he can be put in his place by Damien at the beginning, and 2) he has a chance to be in contention to obtain the magic sword at the end. Although I suppose I could make him competent in a different weapon, and not a sword. Maybe.

[Thought]

1. Read Jim Butcher's article on the great swampy middle.
   
2. Write down the following three things:
   
   1. 
      
   2. Beginning: How is the main event set in motion. This should come out of the story question, since it had <When event happens> in it.
      
   3. End: How will the story question be resolved?
      
   4. Middle: What is a Big Middle you can use? Remember to both add a lot of drama, and set things in motion.
      

I actually ripped off the structure of my story from a video game. It's a variation on Three Act format used by Chrono Trigger. Essentially, it's a Minor Quest that sets the protagonist up to encounter The Main Plot, then the First Major Quest in which the heroes are improperly informed and so while they struggle for a certain goal, the means they believe will achieve it are incorrect. The second Major quest is thus a reorientation of their means, while keeping the ultimate goal the same. So, without further ado

Beginning: I'm planning on two related stories (milieu and event) that occur within the same book. The beginning of the milieu story is when Ember Watt's friend disappears from school and the main character subsequently sets out to find her, thereby traveling to the fantasy land where much of the story takes place. This is the Minor Quest that causes the hero to encounter the larger world. It ends when Ember finds out why her friend disappeared. Technobabbly speaking, since the friend is a powerful imaginary creature that was able to cross into the real world, the bad guys are essentially going to break her open to use the same power to change America's past (imagine a different past and bring it into reality).

End: The milieu event ends with Ember rescuing her friend from The Big Bad and thus being able to leave the otherworld. The Event event ends with Ember defeating the Big Bad, who is the head behind the plot to change the past, and who had taken Ember's friend as part of this plan. I have a bunch of ideas for the climax, but not all of them work together, so I am shifting through things, trying to figure out what would be the most awesome.

Middle: After the "Minor Quest" that gets Ember to the mystical world, she becomes aware of an impending attack from the fantasy world on Washington D.C., where her imaginary friend will be used to change the past. She also learns that her mother is involved in the organization preparing to invade D.C. Pushed by fear for the welfare of the father she left behind, the curiosity she feels for how her mother is involved in this world, the temptation of her own growing powers, and a desire to save her friend, she sets out to stop them. The Middle ends when Ember meets up with her mother, who reveals that D.C. had already been invaded and that her force was intended to liberate it. A classic "The Princess is in another castle" moment. Here, hopefully, the character grows by realizing that her mother, whom she thought was evil, actually isn't.

[cjhuitt]

Would it ruin the story if instead of being the second best swordsman, he starts out as the worst?

I've been thinking about this some more, and an starting to think that I might make my main character extremely determined, rather than particularly good at swordfighting. He'd still be decent at swordfighting, of course, and willing to put in a lot of practice. But not exactly a natural.

[cjhuitt]

1. Beginning: "When a lost magic sword resurfaces..." a rush to claim the sword occurs.
   
2. End: Guntram will capture the sword, but fall prey to its influence. He'll attack Arkady with it, and she'll use a family fighting technique to disarm him (possibly with his subconscious knowledge?). Guntram will then attack her and force her to wield the sword against him, fulfilling the conditions for its destruction (and meeting the prophecy I may or may not want to add into the story).
   
3. Middle: The king's army has gathered with most of the nobles to try and claim the sword from the mage currently keeping it. Unbeknownst to them, the church had also gathered its people and are forcing the king to negotiate with them as to the disposition of the sword after it is claimed (the church views it as an evil artifact). Unbeknownst to either of them, the revealing of the sword sent magical echoes throughout the lands, and other mages are also converging on the location. The big middle is when all of the factions are revealed.
   

[cjhuitt]

Only a couple more weeks until November. Continuing with plot, and looking at more specifics...

1. Read Jim Butcher's article on scenes.
   
2. Write down the following for your opening scene:
   
   1. 
      
   2. Point of View: Whose point of view is the opening scene from? Remember that the opening scene should generally be in the POV of your main character (or protagonist).
      
   3. Goal: What is the character's goal in the scene? Refer back to the POV (or main) character's introduction information and see if there is a goal inherent in there.
      
   4. Conflict: Identify the scene antagonist, and how his/her goal conflicts with the scene protagonist.
      
   5. Setback: What causes the scene protagonist to fail to (completely) accomplish their goal. Remember the phrases "yes, but..." and "no, and furthermore..."
      

For extra credit, repeat the above for the story you are currently revising. For additional extra credit, plot out a few opening scenes and see which one you like the most.

Edited October 15, 2012 by cjhuitt

[Thought]

1. Beginning: "When a lost magic sword resurfaces..." a rush to claim the sword occurs.
   
2. End: Guntram will capture the sword, but fall prey to its influence. He'll attack Arkady with it, and she'll use a family fighting technique to disarm him (possibly with his subconscious knowledge?). Guntram will then attack her and force her to wield the sword against him, fulfilling the conditions for its destruction (and meeting the prophecy I may or may not want to add into the story).
   
3. Middle: The king's army has gathered with most of the nobles to try and claim the sword from the mage currently keeping it. Unbeknownst to them, the church had also gathered its people and are forcing the king to negotiate with them as to the disposition of the sword after it is claimed (the church views it as an evil artifact). Unbeknownst to either of them, the revealing of the sword sent magical echoes throughout the lands, and other mages are also converging on the location. The big middle is when all of the factions are revealed.
   

I'm sure you already know this information, but why should a lost magic sword resurfacing cause there to be a rush to claim it? That is, you have what people are doing, but haven't really gotten what motivates them to do it. It might be useful here to think about when real world civilizations have raced against each other. The race to colonize and exploit "The New World," for example, was driven in part by greed, but also in part by a desire to prevent hated enemies from getting the resources, and in part by a sense of benevolence. USA and USSR raced into space largely out of competition with each other, and less because of curiosity or a desire for scientific discovery. To extrapolate this to a fantasy setting, I'd expect then that people would seek the sword more to beat other nations than to gain the resource itself, which means that the states need to be in fierce competition with each other. Altruistic motivations might be in there as well.

As always, of course, this is just a Thought

Only a couple more weeks until November. Continuing with plot, and looking at more specifics...

1. Read Jim Butcher's article on scenes.
   
2. Write down the following for your opening scene:
   
   1. 
      
   2. Point of View: Whose point of view is the opening scene from? Remember that the opening scene should generally be in the POV of your main character (or protagonist).
      
   3. Goal: What is the character's goal in the scene? Refer back to the POV (or main) character's introduction information and see if there is a goal inherent in there.
      
   4. Conflict: Identify the scene antagonist, and how his/her goal conflicts with the scene protagonist.
      
   5. Setback: What causes the scene protagonist to fail to (completely) accomplish their goal. Remember the phrases "yes, but..." and "no, and furthermore..."
      

POINT OF VIEW CHARACTER: Ember Watt (main character, little girl, age 11 or 12 [dependant on what the start of middle school is in DC], parents going through a divorce, attends a school with a lot of "plotical brats" but her own father is an instructor probably at the University of the District of Columbia)

GOAL: Ember wants to meet up with her friend at school before classes start in order to not feel like a social outcast.

ADVERSITY: To achieve this goal, Ember has to overcome some adversity. Namely, she needs to navigate DC's subway system and streets in a timely manner. She also has to overcome her own social fears (does the friend really like her, maybe she shouldn't rush to the friend but wait for the friend to seek her out, etc). Once separated, Ember also must overcome the communication gap between them.

CONFLICT: The above goal is opposed by bullies from her school who seek to torment her, teachers who seek to separate her from her friend for misbehaving (or, in other words, to be shown respect by students and to quell rebellious behavior), and ultimately the principle who seeks to address the underlying issues by calling their parents and having them dealt with (or, in other words, to maintain discipline at his school).

SETBACK: "No, and..." Ember first avoids the bullies, but eventually engages them in a fight. The bullies thus succeed in tormenting Ember to the point of her lashing out, and this causes the teachers to separate Ember and her friend. Ember then tries to communicate with her friend, although they are separated. The teachers are upset that she's passing notes in class, confiscates it, and sends them to the principle's office. Ember tries to be contrite, in order to avoid punishment, but the principle is upset by the recent spat of poor behavior on Ember and her friends part and so he separates them and calls their parents. The friend's "evil mother" arrives and carts her away. Dun dun DUUUUUN.

SETUP: Ember's fight with the bullies is actually over a new student who they target in addition to her. By fighting back, Ember earns the new kids respect and friendship, although she is so focused on her own friend that she doesn't notice. This new kid is important to the next chapter.

As you might have noticed, I added two categories (adversity and setup), mostly for my own planning. I added "adversity" so that I can be sure that I'm aware of the various passive factors in a scene. Essentially, this is to help make me aware of possible interplays between the background and the characters (the bullies, for example, might not be trying to make Ember late, but if they make her miss her train, then the effects are the same). "Setup" is basically just a category to remind me to look ahead and to be sure that I am planting the tools I need later. As I am going through my outline, this tends to be the perfect category to come back to when I need to put guns on mantle places.

[cjhuitt]

I'm sure you already know this information, but why should a lost magic sword resurfacing cause there to be a rush to claim it? That is, you have what people are doing, but haven't really gotten what motivates them to do it.

You are quite right, but most of that falls beyond the summary stage (in my opinion). However, despite the term "king", one might say his grasp on the throne isn't as secure as that might imply. Thus, him going after the sword, plus many of the noble houses. The church, as mentioned, also wants it to either destroy or confiscate if they can't destroy it. Beyond that, once other nations (and powers) find out it has resurfaced....

SETBACK: "No, and..." Ember first avoids the bullies, but eventually engages them in a fight. The bullies thus succeed in tormenting Ember to the point of her lashing out, and this causes the teachers to separate Ember and her friend. Ember then tries to communicate with her friend, although they are separated. The teachers are upset that she's passing notes in class, confiscates it, and sends them to the principle's office. Ember tries to be contrite, in order to avoid punishment, but the principle is upset by the recent spat of poor behavior on Ember and her friends part and so he separates them and calls their parents. The friend's "evil mother" arrives and carts her away. Dun dun DUUUUUN.

I think you have the basic idea down, but as I read this I can't help but think there are two or maybe three setbacks in there (Ember is separated from her friend, she is caught passing notes and sent to the principle's office, and she tries to avoid punishment but fails. I wonder if those might actually be three consecutive scenes, especially since the goal at first is to meet with her friend. The logical end of that scene goal is being separated by the teachers (which reads to me as a "yes, but..." answer).

"Setup" is basically just a category to remind me to look ahead and to be sure that I am planting the tools I need later. As I am going through my outline, this tends to be the perfect category to come back to when I need to put guns on mantle places.

Yes, feel free to modify the framework. The setup category in particular sounds useful, though for my own planning I wonder if I would use it as much before the first draft? I might be more likely to do so if I use this framework to help clear up the second draft and make sure everything is working.

[cjhuitt]

Only a couple more weeks until November. Continuing with plot, and looking at more specifics...

1. Read Jim Butcher's article on scenes.
   
2. Write down the following for your opening scene:
   
   1. 
      
   2. Point of View: Whose point of view is the opening scene from? Remember that the opening scene should generally be in the POV of your main character (or protagonist).
      
   3. Goal: What is the character's goal in the scene? Refer back to the POV (or main) character's introduction information and see if there is a goal inherent in there.
      
   4. Conflict: Identify the scene antagonist, and how his/her goal conflicts with the scene protagonist.
      
   5. Setback: What causes the scene protagonist to fail to (completely) accomplish their goal. Remember the phrases "yes, but..." and "no, and furthermore..."
      

For extra credit, repeat the above for the story you are currently revising. For additional extra credit, plot out a few opening scenes and see which one you like the most.

Well, I've been running out of time as I spend a little more revising Blue Crystals, and a little less planning this out. However, here goes a good college try:

1. Point of View: Guntram
   
2. Goal: To win the final round it the King's Tournament, against the current champion and King's Sword.
   
3. Conflict: He is fighting against Damien, who plans to use the opportunity to show how much better than everyone else he still is.
   
4. Setback: As Guntram fights, he realized Damien is playing with him. Furthermore, when he tries harder he loses his temper and then doesn't even get a chance to finish the fight, as it is interrupted by a messenger.
   

[cjhuitt]

It's only what, 10 days to October? Time flies when I'm ignoring it too much. Next up is sequels.

1. Read Jim Butcher's article on sequels.
   
2. Write down the following for the sequel to your opening scene:
   
   1. 
      
   2. Emotional Reaction: What is the characters first, primal, emotional reaction to the last scene's setback?
      
   3. Review, Logic, & Reason: What does the character immediately think about the setback (after the emotional reaction flares through)? What other thoughts have a bearing on their reaction (and following aspects of the sequel)?
      
   4. Anticipation: How will the character's options play out in the future?
      
   5. Choice: What does the character choose to do next? (Note that this usually ties directly into the scene goal for their next scene.)
      

As I try to remember this, the character has to CARE backward, or CARE-back.

For extra credit, repeat the above for the story you are currently revising. For additional extra credit, vary one or more parts of the sequel and see how it affects your setup for the next scene.

[Mandamon]

I finally finished editing my last book (which is in the Writing Group Dropbox folder under The Best Kind of Present - rewrite 1, if anyone wants to take a look), so now I can concentrate on revving up for NaNoWriMo.

Here's my everything...

Story Skeleton (updated)

When hormonal surges start causing temporary changes and powers instead of just acne, one teenager uses his new powers to fit in at school. But when a pattern to his powers turns dangerous, will he succeed in saving himself and his hometown?

Character:

Allen Merszywyzk

a. Exaggeration: ultra dorky, unpronounceable last name (“It’s Polish”).

b. Exotic position: his hormones cause weird changes instead of acne.

c. Introduction: Grows something physically unattractive (giant gross skin wings)

d. Empathy: can't help that he has giant wings. It's hard for him to do simple things.

e. Tags: long messy hair, dyed black, pale, NOT goth!

f. Traits: wears black, clothes are messy, shoelaces get untied

The Great Swampy Middle:

BEGINNING: Allen wakes up with wings. Not angelic feathery wings (which might be embarrassing), or leathery demon wings (which might be cool), but pink, skin-toned expanses of skin held together with creaking bones and muscles. They were disgusting. Just like every other mutation he has. Why wasn’t it ever just a zit? Despite his social standing somewhere near pond scum, this will actually make him less popular.

END: Allen lands a date with the most beautiful girl in the school, the new head cheerleader, after confronting the person responsible for the mutations and getting the cure. Only, after the cure takes affect, he finds the girl's mutation was to become strikingly beautiful instead of having acne. She wasn’t a new girl as everyone thought, but the nerdy girl no one payed attention to. She reinvented herself to take advantage of her new looks. Now he finds she likes the same comics he does and laughs at the same nerdy jokes.

MIDDLE: Allen gets into a fight with Steve Bellik, the school bully, and the hormonal surges cause Allen to start burning—a human torch. He gets out of the school, but not before most of the school is destroyed. Steve is in the hospital for major burns, as are several other students, including, the new girl; the most stunning girl in the whole school. She even talked to Allen twice! This is too much—he can’t live like this for the next five years, or whenever his hormones calm down, and he sneaks out of his house to investigate why all the teenagers are having strange reactions instead of acne.

(I had these scene/sequels combined into one, but as I wrote them out, they seemed like two sets.)

First scene:

1) POV – Allen Merszywyzk

2) Goal: Get to School.

3) Conflict: (Self) He woke up with wings—everyone will laugh at him (more than usual).

4) Resolution: Yes, but: He finally figures out how to get a shirt on, but by that time he is late for school and has to skip breakfast.

First Sequel:

1) Emotional Reaction: Great, I thought. Why couldn't it have just been a giant zit on my nose? Why do I always get the most disgusting changes?

2) Review, Logic, & Reason: Can’t stand around feeling sorry for myself. I’m already late.

3) Anticipation: Can I get on the bus?

4) Choice: Go for it.

Second Scene:

1) POV – Allen

2) Goal: Get on the bus

3) Conflict: Has an embarrassingly hard time getting on the bus. He's teased by Steve Bellik-the football jock/bully-and his cronies, once he forces his way onto the bus. Steve has perfect hair today. Yesterday his teeth were blindingly white. Allen get wings, Steve gets a thousand dollar haircut. There is no justice.

4) Resolution: Yes, but: Allen gets to school, but his wings keep popping up (along with other things) and getting in the way when girls look at him and finally the teacher sends him home early.

Second Sequel:

1) Emotional Reaction: Why do I have reactions that are so disgusting and awful? Everyone hates me. Why can’t I have reactions like Steve?

2) Review, Logic, & Reason: If I had a reaction like Steve I’d be like Steve. Do I want that? No. I don’t want to be some football jock with white teeth—no one would notice me beside him. Of course the notice today was not the best.

3) Anticipation: How can I make other people see the cool guy I really am?

4) Choice: I’m going to take control of these reactions. I’m not going to let them get the best of me.

[Thought]

You are quite right, but most of that falls beyond the summary stage (in my opinion).

Probably an artifact of how we view the summary stages differently. For me, the summary stage is a time for getting down the underlying umph of a story (and adding important fluff in where possible). That is, if I were making a summary of your story, I'd consider the why behind the mad rush to be more basic and fundamental to the story than the mad rush itself. But again, it seems we just prepare things differently (indeed, I noticed that my summaries are more verbose than your own).

I think you have the basic idea down, but as I read this I can't help but think there are two or maybe three setbacks in there (Ember is separated from her friend, she is caught passing notes and sent to the principle's office, and she tries to avoid punishment but fails. I wonder if those might actually be three consecutive scenes, especially since the goal at first is to meet with her friend. The logical end of that scene goal is being separated by the teachers (which reads to me as a "yes, but..." answer).

Certainly something to consider. I'm a bit worried about things being too slow as it is, but then again, if I'm not making the characters relatable, the pacing doesn't really matter.

The setup category in particular sounds useful, though for my own planning I wonder if I would use it as much before the first draft?

Possibly. For me, my first outline tends to be an almost quasi-draft, where I move around plot points, split and combine events, etc. quite a bit. Ideally, this is also when a decent amount of foreshadowing gets planned. For example, in working on the outline yesterday, I realized that a character needed to know how the roads in DC are designed. I jotted that down where she needed the info, then went back through the outline looking for an appropriate place to foreshadow, and dropped that note there, too.

Setback: As Guntram fights, he realized Damien is playing with him. Furthermore, when he tries harder he loses his temper and then doesn't even get a chance to finish the fight, as it is interrupted by a messenger.

The setback seems a little disappointing, I think because it is caused by adversity rather than conflict. That is, Guntram doesn't get to finish the fight because of deus ex machina. If the story doesn't require that fight to be stalled, then perhaps let him be beaten before the message arrives (which, instead, might just interrupt any attempt of his to save face).

If it is that the fight can't be resolved now, but rather is part of a climactic point, perhaps go with the karate kid method of raising tension? That is, have other notable figures who succeed in the early rounds of the tournament, only to get easily knocked down by Damien. Meanwhile, if Guntram struggles mightily through each round, the anticipation is that he'd lose against Damien. Then, the messenger stops the fight from starting, rather than pausing it midway.

Just a Thought, as always.

1. Read Jim Butcher's article on sequels.
   
2. Write down the following for the sequel to your opening scene:
   
   1. 
      
   2. Emotional Reaction: What is the characters first, primal, emotional reaction to the last scene's setback?
      
   3. Review, Logic, & Reason: What does the character immediately think about the setback (after the emotional reaction flares through)? What other thoughts have a bearing on their reaction (and following aspects of the sequel)?
      
   4. Anticipation: How will the character's options play out in the future?
      
   5. Choice: What does the character choose to do next? (Note that this usually ties directly into the scene goal for their next scene.)
      

Definitely not my strong suit. I'm a little worried that I am treating a sequel like a scene, but...

1) Emotional Reaction: Ember has been taken home by her father and is sulking in her room. She is morose over being separated from Gayle (her friend), and feeling shamed for having been punished. Time passes until it is dark

2) Review: Ember stews and blames the bullies, her teacher, and the principle for the situation. Notably, she also and irrationally blames her mother. She thinks of a few "I should have"s, but that is cut short when she sees a woman enter the house. Suspecting that this is her mother, she sneaks out of her room and watches the shadow of a fight between this woman and her father (she can't make out the details). Suspects that her mother will do something drastic to punish her. The next day at school, the friend (Gayle) is missing. Same the next, and for a few days

3) Anticipation: Worried about her friend, Ember starts to ask around school, only to find out that no one remembers her, except Cliff (the boy from chapter one), who's been trying to make friends with her. He notes that Gayle was picked up by a woman whom he describes in a manner similar to Ember’s mother. Ember feels that she must take action, since simply waiting for Gayle to turn up is unlikely to be fruitful. Considers talking to her father, but rejects it as he would be mad once he found out that Gayle started out as an imaginary friend (reveal that father discourages Ember from affecting reality with her imagination). Other adults wont believe her at all, however, so she can't talk to them. Only other option is to search for Gayle herself (thinks that Gayle's house might be a good starting point), but that would require breaking rules (skipping at least part of school). Cliff frets, but voices his desire to help Ember.

4) Choice: Ember decides to seek out Gayle, and sets the friend's house as her starting point. Cliff promises to help, but recommends they wait until the next day (less suspicious to not show up from school than to leave during the middle of the day).

Story Skeleton (updated)

When hormonal surges start causing temporary changes and powers instead of just acne, one teenager uses his new powers to fit in at school. But when a pattern to his powers turns dangerous, will he succeed in saving himself and his hometown?

This sets your story up as a bit of man vs self. I love those stories, but they are harder to pull off, and still tend to need a strong external plot to push things along. The John Clever series is great at this: the tension in the plots are almost entirely centered on John's internal struggle, but the external conflict provides the motivation for change. So, I guess, I'd just recommend making sure that the external conflict is there, and that it is interesting enough to help balance the internal conflict. Or, if the plot isn’t man vs self, perhaps reworking the skeleton?

Character:

Allen Merszywyzk

a. Exaggeration: ultra dorky, unpronounceable last name (“It’s Polish”).

b. Exotic position: his hormones cause weird changes instead of acne.

c. Introduction: Grows something physically unattractive (giant gross skin wings)

d. Empathy: can't help that he has giant wings. It's hard for him to do simple things.

e. Tags: long messy hair, dyed black, pale, NOT goth!

f. Traits: wears black, clothes are messy, shoelaces get untied

Love the "it's Polish" joke.

For exotic position, that just seems to be more of an exaggeration. To my understanding, the exotic position would be the ablative of location in "he's a super spy... IN SPAAAAAACE." However, exotic positions are based on the individual. An alien on Raxacoricofallapatorius is old hat, the same alien waiting in line at the DMV is exotic. So, in your case, I'd think (but I can very easily be wrong) that the exotic location is more of "Allen is a hideous mutant attending a sleepy-town’s only highschool" or something like that.

The introduction also seems good. Just reading it makes me think of several different ways I might start a story, so it seems like a good launching off point.

Not being his fault doesn't exactly make him empathetic by itself, but could work well if you particularly play up the "it's not fair" aspect, and in all parts of his life. People feel for the good guy who doesn't get a break. Make it so that it's not his fault that he has mutant powers, not his fault that he was late to school, not his fault that the family car got wrecked, not his fault that his bike got stolen, not his fault that his science project blew up the chemistry lab, not his fault that Rome fell, not his fault that someone set up us the bomb, not his fault that Lincoln was assassinated, not his fault that Firefly was canceled, but that everything is constructed in such a way that everyone else reasonable thinks these things ARE his fault, and punishes him accordingly.

The Great Swampy Middle:

BEGINNING: Allen wakes up with wings. Not angelic feathery wings (which might be embarrassing), or leathery demon wings (which might be cool), but pink, skin-toned expanses of skin held together with creaking bones and muscles. They were disgusting. Just like every other mutation he has. Why wasn’t it ever just a zit? Despite his social standing somewhere near pond scum, this will actually make him less popular.

From my perspective, any kind of wings still seem cool. Perhaps start out smaller, and more socially unacceptable? A second thumb on each hand, a third nostril, or a tail? Or, cool but awakward: boney armor-like growths that, when he wears a shirt, makes it look like he's developing breasts (or like he’s fat), or chameleon-like skin that accidentally gets stuck on “Pinkie-Pie Pink.”

Point being, I think you can make this a little stronger with a weirder first mutation.

Anywho, in general it sounds quite interesting. Good luck.

[Mandamon]

This sets your story up as a bit of man vs self. I love those stories, but they are harder to pull off, and still tend to need a strong external plot to push things along. The John Clever series is great at this: the tension in the plots are almost entirely centered on John's internal struggle, but the external conflict provides the motivation for change. So, I guess, I'd just recommend making sure that the external conflict is there, and that it is interesting enough to help balance the internal conflict. Or, if the plot isn’t man vs self, perhaps reworking the skeleton?

Yes, I think it's going to be Man vs. Self, if only because I can't come up with a believable villain. I also want to challenge myself to make a story fully character-driven. I tend to drift to plot-driven.

"Allen is a hideous mutant attending a sleepy-town’s only highschool"

Yeah, that might be more accurate...

People feel for the good guy who doesn't get a break. Make it so that it's not his fault...

I like that. Ties in with his personality well.

From my perspective, any kind of wings still seem cool. Perhaps start out smaller, and more socially unacceptable? A second thumb on each hand, a third nostril, or a tail? Or, cool but awakward: boney armor-like growths that, when he wears a shirt, makes it look like he's developing breasts (or like he’s fat), or chameleon-like skin that accidentally gets stuck on “Pinkie-Pie Pink.”

Point being, I think you can make this a little stronger with a weirder first mutation.

I want to make his mutations potentially dangerous to him and others, to ramp up the Man vs. Self aspect, a la John Cleaver having to stop himself from harming others. How about this--his skin excretes acid instead of sweat, and he keeps dissolving things he's sitting on and using (like his chair and clothes)?

[cjhuitt]

Just a Thought, as always.

Is that so? These are pretty good ones, overall.

Probably an artifact of how we view the summary stages differently. [...](indeed, I noticed that my summaries are more verbose than your own).

I'm thinking the same thing. For my summaries, I'm actively trying to keep them as short and on-target as possible, so that I keep the story progress in mind -- the essence of what the scene or story is trying to do. I usually have no problems adding in backstory, reasons, and dead-end plot devices. Anyway, it's been helping me lately.

Certainly something to consider. I'm a bit worried about things being too slow as it is, but then again, if I'm not making the characters relatable, the pacing doesn't really matter.

[...] For me, my first outline tends to be an almost quasi-draft, where I move around plot points, split and combine events, etc. quite a bit. Ideally, this is also when a decent amount of foreshadowing gets planned.

This gets to the heart of the difference, I think. I'm beginning to suspect that I might be at least partially a multi-drafter, at least at this stage in my writing. I do outline some, including key scenes and whatnot, but I tend to find the motivations, reasons, etc (all that stuff I listed before) as I write the first draft. For the second one, I move things around, split and combine, add (appropriate) foreshadowing, and usually find one or two subplots that I should add or emphasize to help the main plot. For this year's Nano, however, I've been doing at least this planning, and I plan on doing something closer to what you describe... call it somewhere between an outline and a first draft. I may well write out some scenes in full, while just summarizing others. We'll see how it works.

The setback seems a little disappointing, I think because it is caused by adversity rather than conflict. That is, Guntram doesn't get to finish the fight because of deus ex machina. If the story doesn't require that fight to be stalled, then perhaps let him be beaten before the message arrives (which, instead, might just interrupt any attempt of his to save face).

You've a good point here. I may need to change it to let the match end in a properly humiliating manner, then go to the message.

Definitely not my strong suit. I'm a little worried that I am treating a sequel like a scene, but...

I think there's a mix (though that's just my opinion based on my interpretations of the items). I'm going to intersperse some comments here...

1) Emotional Reaction: Ember has been taken home by her father and is sulking in her room. She is morose over being separated from Gayle (her friend), and feeling shamed for having been punished. Time passes until it is dark

Sulking definitely fits the bill, though I wonder if a bit of anger might be worthwhile as well (in the principle's office, anyway, or right when she is taken by her father). The shame is good also.

The biggest problem I have here is the "time passes" part. While I think it could be done, and narratively it sometimes helps to gloss over intervening time like that to make a story tighter, I think a lot of the point of the sequels is that they are immediate progressions... or at least, not delayed by significant time. In particular, referencing the example from the article of a car crash, the emotion was the immediate panic, and maybe anger or worry. How long can such emotion last, however? After just a bit, it gives way to the reason aspect.

2) Review: Ember stews and blames the bullies, her teacher, and the principle for the situation. Notably, she also and irrationally blames her mother. She thinks of a few "I should have"s, but that is cut short when she sees a woman enter the house. Suspecting that this is her mother, she sneaks out of her room and watches the shadow of a fight between this woman and her father (she can't make out the details). Suspects that her mother will do something drastic to punish her. The next day at school, the friend (Gayle) is missing. Same the next, and for a few days

"Stews" and "irrationally blames" to me seems like emotional reaction still -- not that this is horrible, just making sure things are placed in the correct spot. The "I should have"s sound better here.

The bit with her mother sounds like a scene to me. She sees something, her goal is to find out what is going on, and she ends up failing and not knowing. Then the "suspects her mother will do something drastic" sounds like another sequel after that scene, to me. I would think it could be expanded to all of the parts listed.

The Gayle-is-missing part, I don't know where it goes. It's information that needs to be in here, but perhaps it's just background (plot) information.

3) Anticipation: Worried about her friend, Ember starts to ask around school, only to find out that no one remembers her, except Cliff (the boy from chapter one), who's been trying to make friends with her. He notes that Gayle was picked up by a woman whom he describes in a manner similar to Ember’s mother. Ember feels that she must take action, since simply waiting for Gayle to turn up is unlikely to be fruitful. Considers talking to her father, but rejects it as he would be mad once he found out that Gayle started out as an imaginary friend (reveal that father discourages Ember from affecting reality with her imagination). Other adults wont believe her at all, however, so she can't talk to them. Only other option is to search for Gayle herself (thinks that Gayle's house might be a good starting point), but that would require breaking rules (skipping at least part of school). Cliff frets, but voices his desire to help Ember.

Again, finding out what Cliff knows seems like a scene, leading to revealing information ("Yes, but..."), and then the decision for action seems like reason/anticipation for the sequel to that scene.

4) Choice: Ember decides to seek out Gayle, and sets the friend's house as her starting point. Cliff promises to help, but recommends they wait until the next day (less suspicious to not show up from school than to leave during the middle of the day).

Here is a definite choice, followed by possibly another scene: Extracting the promise from Cliff to help, but being denied in getting it immediately.

Having said all this, I'm not sure your version is wrong. I can't recall where I read it, but I know I had read a suggestion that the scene-sequel view can be taken up a level and viewed in a larger form, which this might well be. The same suggestion was made that it could be taken down into the scenes for action-reaction alternation (although abbreviated, of course).

Well, that's this for now. I'll be back with more later, probably tomorrow.

[cjhuitt]

Love the "it's Polish" joke.

Ditto.

Not being his fault doesn't exactly make him empathetic by itself, but could work well if you particularly play up the "it's not fair" aspect, and in all parts of his life. People feel for the good guy who doesn't get a break. Make it so that it's not his fault that he has mutant powers, not his fault that he was late to school, not his fault that the family car got wrecked, not his fault that his bike got stolen, not his fault that his science project blew up the chemistry lab, not his fault that Rome fell, not his fault that someone set up us the bomb, not his fault that Lincoln was assassinated, not his fault that Firefly was canceled, but that everything is constructed in such a way that everyone else reasonable thinks these things ARE his fault, and punishes him accordingly.

This is all a good idea also, I think.

From my perspective, any kind of wings still seem cool. Perhaps start out smaller, and more socially unacceptable? A second thumb on each hand, a third nostril, or a tail? Or, cool but awakward: boney armor-like growths that, when he wears a shirt, makes it look like he's developing breasts (or like he’s fat), or chameleon-like skin that accidentally gets stuck on “Pinkie-Pie Pink.”

I want to make his mutations potentially dangerous to him and others, to ramp up the Man vs. Self aspect, a la John Cleaver having to stop himself from harming others. How about this--his skin excretes acid instead of sweat, and he keeps dissolving things he's sitting on and using (like his chair and clothes)?

I like the acid idea better than wings, although you may consider making it a little more subtle than straight-up dissolving... such as somewhat slowly degrading, only to become obvious it's directly associated with him (and not ill luck) when he's stressed, or something. Or you may want to go all-out, I suppose. I don't know exactly how the rest of the story will play out, so I don't know exactly how to advise here.

[cjhuitt]

So, this cold really knocked me for a loop, or I would have had this finished a couple days ago. Now, we'll have to see what we can fit in, starting with the climax.

1. Read Jim Butcher's article on endings.
   
2. Write down the following for the story climax:
   
   1. 
      
   2. Isolation: How will the protagonist be isolated from any (apparent) support?
      
   3. Confrontation: How will the protagonist/antagonist confrontation work?
      
   4. Dark Moment: What else goes wrong as a result of the confrontation? How badly are the odds stacked?
      
   5. Choice: What revealing choice is the protagonist forced to make?
      
   6. Dramatic Reversal: What is the unexpected way things change at the end?
      
   7. Resolution: What needs to be wrapped up?
      

[*] Review the scene/sequel steps and the beginning/middle/end you wrote.

[*] If you have time, write scene and sequel bullet points from the opening scene, leading up to the middle, then to the final resolution. This is your outline.

[cjhuitt]

Also, for anyone curious, I have decided that the story I was working on for the Nano prep is not the story I will be writing, after all. I had always planned on having another novel or two after the current Blue Crystals story, and since I have been revising that one, the characters and potential plots are dancing in my head. Thus, I will be changing course not-quite-midstream and trying to take on that instead. If I have time, I'll try to go through these exercises for my new novel plan, though I may not get them posted (or the helpful feedback) in time.

[cjhuitt]

...and NaNoWriMo has officially started for me. As I mentioned, I changed stories right near the end. I decided to make the prep work part of my writing for the month, and have done a lot of it this morning (I still have the resolution to do, and I need to think about it, because I don't think my ending I wrote down is a properly dramatic ending, but rather the denouement after it).

I'm also going to try and do my best to do the scene/sequel bullet points (four each) for each one of those I write, and to try and be conscious of going between them as I write the story. Right now my plan is to summarize the key scenes overall to get a bigger plot, then expand them as I can/am inspired to in order to make the word count goals.

[Mandamon]

I'm also going to try to at least be concious of the scene/sequel format while writing. These tips have been very helpful, and I think made my outline a lot better to start with. Hopefully that means less editing afterward...

Good to luck to all participating in NaNoWriMo!

If anyone wants to do the official buddy thing on the NaNoWriMo website, I'm willing to participate.

[cjhuitt]

If anyone wants to do the official buddy thing on the NaNoWriMo website, I'm willing to participate.

Likewise. My username there is the same as here.