Renegade

Instabam's Epic Power: A Visualization

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So, Instabam.  Apparently, he has instant potato powers, yes?  And, seeing as he tried to kill some of the Reckoners, it's likely that these potatoes had... perhaps, explosive capabilities.  I did some research, and came up with what I think is an accurate representation of Instabam's Epic power.

 

Potatomine.png

 

Don't believe me?  Personally, I think it's no coincidence that David alludes to "a potato in a minefield" in one of his later similes...  :ph34r:

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So, Instabam.  Apparently, he has instant potato powers, yes?  And, seeing as he tried to kill some of the Reckoners, it's likely that these potatoes had... perhaps, explosive capabilities.  I did some research, and came up with what I think is an accurate representation of Instabam's Epic power.

 

Potatomine.png

 

Don't believe me?  Personally, I think it's no coincidence that David alludes to "a potato in a minefield" in one of his later similes...  :ph34r:

 

Why? 

 

Why did Instabam not conquer the world? He clearly could have, so why didn't he? 

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Wish we knew more about Instabam... Like, can he telekinetically control instant potatoes? Can he make instant potatoes explode? Can he summon a massive wave of instant potatoes? So vague...

 

I bet his weakness was eating real mashed potatoes.

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If his weakness was mashed potatoes, what sort of experience would cause that to be his most feared thing?

"No! I don"'t want the potatoes!

YOU'RE GONNNA EAT THESE POTATERS IF IT BE TAKEN LAS THING YALL EVER DO!

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If his weakness was mashed potatoes, what sort of experience would cause that to be his most feared thing?

"No! I don"'t want the potatoes!

YOU'RE GONNNA EAT THESE POTATERS IF IT BE TAKEN LAS THING YALL EVER DO!

 

"When I was a boy, back in New York City, my mother always told me that if I ate a potato, I would be a potato. So in my household, it was all instant potatoes, all the time. Seriously, we, like, never ate anything else. Just instant potatoes. Then one fateful day, one of the neighborhood vandals threw a real potato at my head! It hit me like—BAM! And let me tell you, I was so scared I would turn into a potato that I went into the pantry and I ate every box of instant potatoes I could see." 

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"When I was a boy, back in New York City, my mother always told me that if I ate a potato, I would be a potato. So in my household, it was all instant potatoes, all the time. Seriously, we, like, never ate anything else. Just instant potatoes. Then one fateful day, one of the neighborhood vandals threw a real potato at my head! It hit me like—BAM! And let me tell you, I was so scared I would turn into a potato that I went into the pantry and I ate every box of instant potatoes I could see."

Oh that's just genius.
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So, Instabam.  Apparently, he has instant potato powers, yes?  And, seeing as he tried to kill some of the Reckoners, it's likely that these potatoes had... perhaps, explosive capabilities.  I did some research, and came up with what I think is an accurate representation of Instabam's Epic power.

 

Potatomine.png

 

Don't believe me?  Personally, I think it's no coincidence that David alludes to "a potato in a minefield" in one of his later similes...  :ph34r:

So David´s line doesn´t make sense afterall. Clearly Instabam can create a minefield made out of potatoes.

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So if we take his organs we can create a potato mine machine?

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So if we take his organs we can create a potato mine machine?

....and this wasn't Regalia's master plan because....?

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....and this wasn't Regalia's master plan because....?

Because a minefield made out of potatoes is awesome and letting someone die through it wouldn´t be evil enough for her.

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I think we can figure out exactly what happened at Prof's school. Instabam was there, but didn't know he was an epic yet. That's when some unfortunate wretch started a food fight...

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You guys are wrong.

 

You see, Instabam's potatoes explode in a NUCLEAR FUSION REACTION.  That's the key.

 

Fallout's Instamash potatoes aren't a coincidence...

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You guys are wrong.

You see, Instabam's potatoes explode in a NUCLEAR FUSION REACTION. That's the key.

Fallout's Instamash potatoes aren't a coincidence...

And I just finished reading a webcomic where someone says "Potatoes can't do ANYTHING."

How very wrong he was.

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That comic character hasn't tried using those things as batteries. And probably never met an Epic.

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Speaking as seriously as I can about this particular topic, I imagine it would be moderately devastating to suddenly have your entire trachea filled with mashed potatoes. To put it another way, Instabam is not small potatoes.

Ooo, see what I did there? ;)

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Potato batteries can indeed be used for many purposes.  Keeping a psychopathic artificial intelligence alive but partially disabled, for one.

53kXy0P.jpg

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Potato batteries can indeed be used for many purposes. Keeping a psychopathic artificial intelligence alive but partially disabled, for one.

53kXy0P.jpg

GLaDOS and Instabam, arch enemies, or unstoppable diabolical team?

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GLaDOS and Instabam, arch enemies, or unstoppable diabolical team?

 

"I have your test results, Steelslayer. They say that you were raised in Newcago, that you're an orphan, and that you're a horrible person. Really, it actually says 'You're a horrible person.' And we weren't even testing for that."

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"I have your test results, Steelslayer. They say that you were raised in Newcago, that you're an orphan, and that you're a horrible person. Really, it actually says 'You're a horrible person.' And we weren't even testing for that."

 

"Remember before when I was talking about smelly garbage standing around being useless? That was a metaphor. I was actually talking about you, Steelslayer. And I'm sorry. You didn't react at the time, so I was worried it sailed right over your head. Which would have made this apology seem insane. That's why I had to call you garbage a second time just now."

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"Even though you missed my metaphor, the test results say that yours are 100% worse than mine. And I wasn't even trying."
 

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"Even though you missed my metaphor, the test results say that yours are 100% worse than mine. And I wasn't even trying."

 

 

"Oh. It's you. It's been a long time. How have you been? I've been really busy being dead, you know, after you MURDERED me. Okay, look, we've both said a lot of things that you're going to regret, but I think we can put our differences behind us. For science. You monster."

 

GLaDOS is now officially a science-obsessed resurrection Epic. :P

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Oh. David=Chell and Wheatley= if Prof was a moron. Think about it.

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Oh. David=Chell and Wheatley= if Prof was a moron. Think about it.

 

O.o

 

o.O

 

O.O

 

It makes too much sense:o

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