The Hobbit: The Battle of the Five Armies (spoilers)

[DanTheSeamonster]

So I just got back from seeing the new Hobbit movie!

 

I just wanted to see what everyone else thought about it?

 

All the friends (admittedly most of them were guys) I went with loved it, but honestly I had mixed feels. It was a very good action movie; but that is just what it was, almost pure action. A solid 3/4 of the movie was fighting. And while I do love a good action movie, I like to have at least some kind of plot line to them. I started to feel like it was a Michael Bay hack and slash movie instead of a Peter Jackson film. I would only give it about 2 and 1/2 out of 5 stars.

 

Although, most of the fighting was very cool and well choreographed. Especially the scene where Galadriel, Elrond, Saruman and Radagast are going on the 'rescue mission' to save Gandalf was pretty great. I loved finally getting to see Elrond and Saruman fight! (I know that technically Saruman and Gandalf fought in The Fellowship, but that was only like twenty seconds so I'm just going to say that it doesn't count) Especially since Saruman was on the good side this time. So that brought the rating up a bit.

 

Now let me explain to you the parts of the movie that I did not like. The whole Tauriel, (who should not have been in the movie in the first place, she was completely unnecessary. We already had a love story arc with Gandalf and Galadriel) Legolas, (again, someone who shouldn't have even been in the movie) and Fili love triangle. It added nothing to the story, and was also not done very well. It felt like it was almost added in as an afterthought most of the time.

 

Not only that, but people, some of those action scenes were a bit ridiculous. Like when Bard rode down the hill in a cart and rammed into that Troll thing? Or when Legolas hitched a ride on that bat, which took it exactly where he needed to go, just so he could hang off of it by his feet and shoot it in the head? Or the bridge scene with Legolas and Bolg? When Legolas defied the laws of physics and climbed up the pieces of a falling bridge???

 

And finally, the two main bad guys, Azog and Bolg would not die!! Azog fake died once, and Bolg fake died at least twice! I mean come on, Jackson! I know you did not have a lot of content to work with in the last chapters of the book, but extending the movie by thirty minutes is not worth it to have at least three fake deaths.

 

Okay. I believe I am done with my rant now. I know I'll probably catch some hate for this post, but oh well, this is how I feel. Let me know how you guys felt about it!

[Voidus]

Stupid Australian release date

[Unhinged]

So from the sound of things they threw out any idea of following the book? 

 

Thanks for letting me know before I wasted my money, I was disappointed with desolation turning into a cheep action movie and from what I've seen of the trailers five armies doesn't improve.

[Lightsworn Panda]

Stupid Australian release date

 

You'd think that the most annoying thing about Australia would be the hordes of creepy-crawlies marching around in the outback, but I think it's actually the extremely delayed release dates of everything.

 

KingKiller, you may want to put the movie spoilers inside a spoiler tag.

[little wilson]

I thought it was a really good movie, but not a great story. I'm a fan of action movies, but a movie that jumps straight into the action with absolutely no rising action whatsoever and doesn't really stop for 2 hours is just too much. It was well done action, though. I'll give it that. It was a good battle. Good fight scenes. Although sometimes, the orc-chopping was a little overdone. And there were a few times when the characters did things where I'm going "You idiot." --namely Thorin in that scene with Azog. You know the one. When he did that, I'm like "That's it. You deserve to die, and I'm not going to cry over it, because that was really stupid." And I'd been expecting to cry at Thorin's death. I went into that movie expecting tears there. And none came.

Oddly, the only time I teared up at all was with Tauriel and Killi when Thranduil tells Tauriel that her love was real. And I don't get why I got emotional. I was willing to deal with Tauriel and Kili in DoS. In this, it just seemed overdone. And 30 minutes earlier, Thranduil told Tauriel that her love wasn't real, and now that Kili's dead, he's suddenly had a change of heart? Nonsensical.

 

Still, like I said, it was a good movie. There were issues with plot points, but this movie wasn't about the plot. The only character with any arc at all was Thorin. And actually I kind of enjoyed his arc. Although there were some pretty cheesy effects there. Still, overall, it was a good arc, and I liked his redemption. But one character arc out of that many characters does not a plot or story make. And I wish it had had more. When it got done, it was after midnight (fortunately, I went to a 9:30 showing of it), and I was wired. I normally get tired around 11 on weekdays, and my friends and I were outside the theatre talking about it until 1. Still wasn't tired at all. Got 5 hours of sleep, which should've been fine even if not ideal, and I woke up exhausted. Far more than I was for DoS last year, and that one was a midnight showing. The only thing I can attribute this exhaustion to is all the action. It's draining, and I've never had an action movie do that to me--of course, I've never seen an action movie quite like this one either, so....yeah.

 

Basically, this is a movie that requires watching DoS with it. Especially if you want all the elements of a story (which, personally, I think every movie should have because that's what makes a movie feel complete.) DoS has no falling action, and BotFA has no rising action. But together, they've got all the story elements. And note that the reason I'm not grouping An Unexpected Journey in here as well is that UJ is a complete story, even if the journey plot is still going on. There's resolution with the Thorin/Bilbo tension that's been there the entire movie, and that ties it all together pretty well and good. I'm convinced now that either Jackson should've just done two movies or he should've stopped this one as the dwarves were leaving Lake-Town, and had all of Smaug in this last one, because for that huge of a cliffhanger, they dealt with him incredibly fast. Too fast, I think, because they wanted to get into the battle, and I feel like that cheapened the storyline around Smaug and that cliffhanger.

 

Oh, and one final thought. It amuses me (in a way that leaves me completely unamused) that Peter Jackson felt that it was okay to have Bilbo come back to an auction, but he hated the Cleansing of the Shire enough that he completely removed it from the LotR movies as if it never existed. Yes, let's leave this depressing part with Bilbo walking through his home that's been torn apart by his neighbors but remove the awesome plot about all the hobbits rising up to take down Saruman, showing them fight for their homes and everything. Plus, the symbolism about how evil touches everything is just fantastic. But that's just a bitter rant on my part, because the Cleansing was my favorite part of LotR. I was looking forward to Return of the King solely to watch the Cleansing. And then it didn't happen.....

[Quiver]

Basically, this is a movie that requires watching DoS with it. Especially if you want all the elements of a story (which, personally, I think every movie should have because that's what makes a movie feel complete.) DoS has no falling action, and BotFA has no rising action. But together, they've got all the story elements. And note that the reason I'm not grouping An Unexpected Journey in here as well is that UJ is a complete story, even if the journey plot is still going on. There's resolution with the Thorin/Bilbo tension that's been there the entire movie, and that ties it all together pretty well and good. I'm convinced now that either Jackson should've just done two movies or he should've stopped this one as the dwarves were leaving Lake-Town, and had all of Smaug in this last one, because for that huge of a cliffhanger, they dealt with him incredibly fast. Too fast, I think, because they wanted to get into the battle, and I feel like that cheapened the storyline around Smaug and that cliffhanger.

 

 

So... I don't have time to give my full thoughts on the film right now, but I wanted to chime in here: I agree with you, with regards Smaug's resolution and how it affects the cliffhanger.

But... the more I think about it, the more I think that the Lake Town scene should have been the climax of Desolation.

 

I haven't seen Desolation since it's release, so it took me a moment to remember where everyone was and why they were there. As much as I loved the scene-

-And let's be clear, I loved the scene. That action scene was what I was waiting for-

-it felt like it was tying up all the loose ends from the second movie; Bard, Girion and the Black Arrow, the Mayor. Those were all elements which were introduced, and had significance, in the second film, and shunting their resolution forward didn't sit right with me. I think Jackson could easily have removed the Dwarves confrontation with the dragon and fit it in.

 

...And actually, on the topic of Bard...

Please correct me if I'm wrong, but the last we see of him in the film is his confrontation with Alfred, isn't it? 

Meaning the last line Bard says in the movie- Bard the Dragon-Slayer, hero and revolutionary- is a joke about '[his] slip showing'? A joke which is framed around the joke of Alfred wearing women's clothes, and shoving enough gold coins down his shirt to... er... inflate the front?

Not... exactly the dignified ending to Bard's story that I was expecting...

[little wilson]

So... I don't have time to give my full thoughts on the film right now, but I wanted to chime in here: I agree with you, with regards Smaug's resolution and how it affects the cliffhanger.

But... the more I think about it, the more I think that the Lake Town scene should have been the climax of Desolation.

 

I haven't seen Desolation since it's release, so it took me a moment to remember where everyone was and why they were there. As much as I loved the scene-

-And let's be clear, I loved the scene. That action scene was what I was waiting for-

-it felt like it was tying up all the loose ends from the second movie; Bard, Girion and the Black Arrow, the Mayor. Those were all elements which were introduced, and had significance, in the second film, and shunting their resolution forward didn't sit right with me. I think Jackson could easily have removed the Dwarves confrontation with the dragon and fit it in.

 

....That would've made a freaking awesome climax. I'm not sure about the removal of the confrontation with Smaug, as that was necessary to show why he gets awoken and then goes and attacks Lake-Town, but Peter Jackson definitely could've shortened the confrontation to include the attack on Lake-Town in Desolation. Which would've fit that movie so much better. They could've gotten to the Lonely Mountain faster, spent a little less time in there, and then lengthened the attack just a bit to make it a better climax, and it would've been perfect. Even ending the movie right after that would've been fine too. And then the rising action in BotFA would be the Lake-Towners getting themselves all together for the trek to the Dale, and the realization that all the armies are going to converge on the Lonely Mountain. Which would've ended DoS on what it's focus should've been, and it would've stated BotFA with what it's focus was.

 

...And actually, on the topic of Bard...

Please correct me if I'm wrong, but the last we see of him in the film is his confrontation with Alfred, isn't it? 

Meaning the last line Bard says in the movie- Bard the Dragon-Slayer, hero and revolutionary- is a joke about '[his] slip showing'? A joke which is framed around the joke of Alfred wearing women's clothes, and shoving enough gold coins down his shirt to... er... inflate the front?

Not... exactly the dignified ending to Bard's story that I was expecting...

 

I didn't even think about that, but you're right. That's rather disappointing, because Bard is one of my favorites and that's just a completely unsatisfying final scene for his character. I mean, it was a funny line. But it's not a good wrap-up for Bard as a whole.

[BreathTaker]

I overall loved the movie as a "Not Hobbit" movie, more like a Skyrim/LotR/WoW fan movie.

 

Let start from what I remember: Smaug died and I (not quietly) went "And... roll credits." It was only half a joke but it seemed too blunt to me. Other things happened and Kili defended the humans for like a second before going and putting on armor ready to fight them... I mean what the hell just happened? It turns out I'm not going to do this in order, most of my issues have been stated already. 

 

Good: Everything was beautiful, BILLY CONNELY WAS DAIN!, HE RODE AN ARMORED RUSSIAN BOAR! THERE WERE ACTUALLY DWARVES! (Most of you know how much I love dwarves... no not like that...) Wizard throwdown was mostly awesome (Some of the moves were very obvious) Thranduil's sword and armor were pretty cool. There are a lot of other things but they weren't awesome enough for me to remember right now. 

 

Bad: Galadriel looked not only horrifying but weird at the same time when she went all glowy, she's supposed to be terrible and beautiful. Sword clashing sounds sounded cheesy. Legolas' many quick time events, (The weird chain eyed troll... I'm pretty sure someone was replaying PoP). Thranduil's gear while awesome looked like modified ebony armor and broadsword. Giant rams taken right out of WoW. When Thorin didn't stab Azog through the ice I was like "Stab him, stab him, sta... ooooh now you're dead." Billy Connely was all CGI. The giant graboid things were absolutely ridiculous and so were the bats. There are many more things but those were my main complaints.

[Gabriele]

I didn't mind the Tauriel/Kili romance (it was not actually a triangle since Orlando and Lili refused to act on any chemistry). Yeah, it has nothing do to with the book and Tauriel wasn't particularly elvish, though she did kick some Orc behind. The reason I didn't mind that plot element is that Kili's cute and we got to see more of him that way.

 

I was disappointed mostly about the slapstick action elements (Legolas in particular) and the ending. With all the set up in An Unexpected Journey about the loss of Erebor, there should have been Thorin's burial and Dáin becoming King under the Mountain. They could easily have added that (it's supposed to be in the EE, I think) and cut some elven acrobatics.

 

Some of the CGI was below par, too, especially that megalotherion Thranduil is riding. It looked ridiculous. And those sandworms of Dune. PJ found a new field to play on, unfortunately. It was much better when he played with the big-atures in the LOTR films; those were amazingly realistic.

Edited December 27, 2014 by Gabriele

[Gabriele]

 

So... I don't have time to give my full thoughts on the film right now, but I wanted to chime in here: I agree with you, with regards Smaug's resolution and how it affects the cliffhanger.

But... the more I think about it, the more I think that the Lake Town scene should have been the climax of Desolation.

 

I haven't seen Desolation since it's release, so it took me a moment to remember where everyone was and why they were there. As much as I loved the scene-

-And let's be clear, I loved the scene. That action scene was what I was waiting for-

-it felt like it was tying up all the loose ends from the second movie; Bard, Girion and the Black Arrow, the Mayor. Those were all elements which were introduced, and had significance, in the second film, and shunting their resolution forward didn't sit right with me. I think Jackson could easily have removed the Dwarves confrontation with the dragon and fit it in.

 

...And actually, on the topic of Bard...

Please correct me if I'm wrong, but the last we see of him in the film is his confrontation with Alfred, isn't it? 

Meaning the last line Bard says in the movie- Bard the Dragon-Slayer, hero and revolutionary- is a joke about '[his] slip showing'? A joke which is framed around the joke of Alfred wearing women's clothes, and shoving enough gold coins down his shirt to... er... inflate the front?

Not... exactly the dignified ending to Bard's story that I was expecting...

 

Yep, and the scriptscrewers would have had time to end the movie with the killing of Smaug if they had cut on Legolas doing ballet dances on dwarf heads.

[Kobold King]

Just watched this.

 

 

Do you know what I find irritating? The movie was good, and I enjoyed most of it, but a lot of the worldbuilding makes zero sense if you're not familiar with the books. Take the trolls, for instance. The first Hobbit movie makes a big deal about the fact that trolls turn to stone in direct sunlight; it's a major plot point, in fact. The resolution to a tense sequence.

 

However, in this movie there are trolls out in broad daylight fighting alongside their orc masters. My father who's read the books and the Silmarillion babbles about them being Olog-hai, capable of resisting sunlight, but I ask this: does a good movie require vast tomes of additional lore just for its rules to be consistent, or does a good movie explain the rules and keep the audience informed about why some cases are exceptions? If the first movie tells me that trolls are lactose-intolerant and the third has them gorging themselves on sundaes, I shouldn't need to consult a massive decades-old trilogy just to understand the discrepancy.

[Blaze1616]

Just watched this.

 

 

Do you know what I find irritating? The movie was good, and I enjoyed most of it, but a lot of the worldbuilding makes zero sense if you're not familiar with the books. Take the trolls, for instance. The first Hobbit movie makes a big deal about the fact that trolls turn to stone in direct sunlight; it's a major plot point, in fact. The resolution to a tense sequence.

 

However, in this movie there are trolls out in broad daylight fighting alongside their orc masters. My father who's read the books and the Silmarillion babbles about them being Olog-hai, capable of resisting sunlight, but I ask this: does a good movie require vast tomes of additional lore just for its rules to be consistent, or does a good movie explain the rules and keep the audience informed about why some cases are exceptions? If the first movie tells me that trolls are lactose-intolerant and the third has them gorging themselves on sundaes, I shouldn't need to consult a massive decades-old trilogy just to understand the discrepancy.

 

Well, Jackson was blinded by dollar bill signs when making this movie, so...

[Kobold King]

Well, Jackson was blinded by dollar bill signs when making this movie, so...

 

If Peter Jackson belonged to any Middle-Earth race, he'd be a dragon. Ravaging the source material in corporate fire as he rolls around in his bed of wealth.

[Blaze1616]

If Peter Jackson belonged to any Middle-Earth race, he'd be a dragon. Ravaging the source material in corporate fire as he rolls around in his bed of wealth.

 

To be fair, the LotR trilogy was fantastic, and did an admirable job of adjusting the source content to make a good trilogy of movies. It was only when the Hobbit movie was proposed that the greed reared its ugly head, and as a result we got three mediocre movies that didn't do the source material justice (even if they had great music and good acting).

[Kobold King]

To be fair, the LotR trilogy was fantastic, and did an admirable job of adjusting the source content to make a good trilogy of movies. It was only when the Hobbit movie was proposed that the greed reared its ugly head, and as a result we got three mediocre movies that didn't do the source material justice (even if they had great music and good acting).

 

 

Ah, so he's a dwarf who's succumbed to dragon sickness.