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This is the thread for all of your ideas/funny stories/jokes/etc. that you don't feel like deserve a whole new topic all to themselves.

I'll start: Has anyone else here had Dole pineapple whip? It is AMAZING.

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I've got a joke:

What do you call a 5 foot psychic who escaped from prison?

 

 

A small medium at large.

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Recipe: Semester Project 

 

  1. Add all ingredients in order described. Check multiple times to ensure every component has been added. 
  2. Type frantically, shunning all human contact. 
  3. Add a few more words to conclusion. 
  4. Go back and add more to intro. 
  5. Panic. 
  6. Add more words; realize project is now over 40 pages long. 
  7. Wonder if you'll be docked points. 
  8. Panic. 
  9. Finish project; let rest for a few hours. 
  10. Return, edit, and send to online dropbox. 
  11. Panic. 
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Sables belong to the weasel family Mustelidae, and are officially designated as Martes zibellina.

 

Sables are prized for their luxurious fur coats. Greater quantities of black hairs in an individual's coat makes for a pricier pelt.

 

In heraldry, the color black is called "sable" as a reference to the animal's prized coat.

 

Henry VIII banned all nobles below the rank of viscount from wearing clothing made from sable skins.

 

Sables inhabit a wide range of Eurasian habitats, including the taiga of Siberia, the lowland forests of Mongolia, and the Japanese island of Hokkaido.

 

The Soviet Union allowed colonies of religious separatists called the Old Believers to follow their traditional mode of life, in exchange for all sable skins the communities succeeded in catching.

 

A Russian diplomat in the 17th century claimed that the soft fur of the sable inspired Greek legends of the Golden Fleece.

 

The IUCN does not believe sables to be endangered, but admits data to be deficient in the case of the Japanese sub-population.

 

The hybrid between a sable and a pine marten is called a kidus.

 

This is a sable:

 

3840x2400.jpg

 

This is a sable antelope:

 

sable-male_sable_farm_brits_25-10-2008_i

 

 

This is two sable antelopes:

 

Sable-Antilopes-91-1024x680.jpg

 

A Google Images search for "sable" will inevitably turn up countless pictures of sable fur coats, dead sable antelopes shot for trophies on the African savannah, and a model named Sable whom I've never heard of before today.

 

Thus concludes today's lesson on sables in all their forms.

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Wish me luck guys, my finals start tomorrow!!

I'm SUPER nervous and I feel like I haven't studied enough even though I've been studying ALOT!!!!

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Wish me luck guys, my finals start tomorrow!!

I'm SUPER nervous and I feel like I haven't studied enough even though I've been studying ALOT!!!!

Good luck!!!! :) You will pass with flying colours :)
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Good luck!!!! :) You will pass with flying colours :)

Thanks, but I am not sure about that because the exam is a sort of statistics thing where the instructor gives us a bunch of raw random data and tells us to analyse as we please.

It is annoying because we NEVER know what the guy really wants us to do yet we have to do SOMETHING!

So we start randomly inserting equations and stuffs in the analysis but we never know what we are doing...

so yeah, if the previous exams mean anything to me, I am NOT gonna pass that easily :s

BUT in other news I finish exams on Thursday and get a month long winter break so YAY!!!!

EDIT: BTW, I wonder if TwiLyghtSansSparkles's approach to assignments works for exams as well hmmm...

Edited by The Drunk Monkey
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Thanks, but I am not sure about that because the exam is a sort of statistics thing where the instructor gives us a bunch of raw random data and tells us to analyse as we please.

It is annoying because we NEVER know what the guy really wants us to do yet we have to do SOMETHING!

So we start randomly inserting equations and stuffs in the analysis but we never know what we are doing...

so yeah, if the previous exams mean anything to me, I am NOT gonna pass that easily :s

BUT in other news I finish exams on Thursday and get a month long winter break so YAY!!!!

EDIT: BTW, I wonder if TwiLyghtSansSparkles's approach to assignments works for exams as well hmmm...

As long as you studied, you will be fine :)

And you will have the winter break as the reward after the exam. When I do finals, I always look forward to like eg: a holiday maybe or something and it helps more to get through the exams.

But Good Luck :)

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As long as you studied, you will be fine :)

And you will have the winter break as the reward after the exam. When I do finals, I always look forward to like eg: a holiday maybe or something and it helps more to get through the exams.

But Good Luck :)

 

Thank you your highness ;)

and yes I agree, the winter break is keeping me motivated, I can almost taste the freedom of next month :D

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Thank you your highness ;)

and yes I agree, the winter break is keeping me motivated, I can almost taste the freedom of next month :D

:D. Freedom is the most awesome feeling in the world. And it's definately worth it :)
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If it makes you feel any better Drunk Monkey - maths tests never make much sense to me either.

Although considering your name, I can imagine a drunk monkey randomly filling out numbers on the test till it gets the right answer

(NB I still recommend you do the working out etc :P)

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Actually my test tomorrow is not your average math test, but actually a graduate level biostatistics exam (yes I have many smarts :P)

So yeah it's not just "math", it's biologically significant math

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Thanks, but I am not sure about that because the exam is a sort of statistics thing where the instructor gives us a bunch of raw random data and tells us to analyse as we please.

It is annoying because we NEVER know what the guy really wants us to do yet we have to do SOMETHING!

So we start randomly inserting equations and stuffs in the analysis but we never know what we are doing...

so yeah, if the previous exams mean anything to me, I am NOT gonna pass that easily :s

BUT in other news I finish exams on Thursday and get a month long winter break so YAY!!!!

EDIT: BTW, I wonder if TwiLyghtSansSparkles's approach to assignments works for exams as well hmmm...

For exam variant, substitute frantic typing for frantic writing resulting in temporary carpal tunnel syndrome and lead-smeared hand. Subtract intro and conclusion; add problems or whatever variant exam requires. Be sure to add several fear-filled glances at the clock, to taste, and crippling anxiety and serious questions as to your own intelligence when you are not the first to hand in your exam.

If you are the first to hand it in, substitute questions about own intelligence for moments of terror as you wonder whether or not you got every answer wrong, to taste.

Simmer over slow-burning anxiety about future career until graduation.

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For exam variant, substitute frantic typing for frantic writing resulting in temporary carpal tunnel syndrome and lead-smeared hand. Subtract intro and conclusion; add problems or whatever variant exam requires. Be sure to add several fear-filled glances at the clock, to taste, and crippling anxiety and serious questions as to your own intelligence when you are not the first to hand in your exam.

If you are the first to hand it in, substitute questions about own intelligence for moments of terror as you wonder whether or not you got every answer wrong, to taste.

 

Simmer over slow-burning anxiety about future career until graduation.

This sounds about right, intellectually I know that exams are just my best type of knowledge performance, like to an absurd degree. I barely scrape through a B in most assignments or essays but in an exam situation it's very rare for me not to get an A, also I finish absurdly early, like 20 minutes before the next person finishes. I know intellectually that that doesn't at all mean that I did poorly but every single exam my hand shakes horribly when I hand it in and everyone else is still only halfway through and I just know that I failed every single question. Then I complain and stress for days then I get my grades back and they're perfectly fine.

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This sounds about right, intellectually I know that exams are just my best type of knowledge performance, like to an absurd degree. I barely scrape through a B in most assignments or essays but in an exam situation it's very rare for me not to get an A, also I finish absurdly early, like 20 minutes before the next person finishes. I know intellectually that that doesn't at all mean that I did poorly but every single exam my hand shakes horribly when I hand it in and everyone else is still only halfway through and I just know that I failed every single question. Then I complain and stress for days then I get my grades back and they're perfectly fine.

I've been stressing for days. I know I've done fine on everything so far; throughout all of grad school, I've only gotten one C on an assignment. All of my grades have been A's and B's, yet I still keep going back over all of my work in my head, thinking "he's going to dock me for that and that and that, this one is going to sink my grade for sure."

Edited by TwiLyghtSansSparkles
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I've been stressing for days. I know I've done fine on everything so far; throughout all of grad school, I've only gotten one C on an assignment. All of my grades have been A's and B's, yet I still keep going back over all of my work in my head, thinking "he's going to dock me for that and that and that, this one is going to sink my grade for sure."

If you put even a tenth of the ability you apply to your writing on here into it I'm sure you'll get a great grade from it Twi. :)

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If you put even a tenth of the ability you apply to your writing on here into it I'm sure you'll get a great grade from it Twi. :)

Thanks :) It was a creative project (make up an organization and a federation, then talk about the inner workings of both) and the prof seemed to like my initial concept. I'm just hoping I kept all the details straight. :mellow: 40 pages is a lot to wade through on the rewrites.

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Looks like you know your uni endured panic attacks quite well TwiLightSansSparkles

And that 40 page assignment seems like a lot of work!!

I'm sure it's all gonna go great ;)

And Voidus, I'm sorta like that with exams too, but I usually get a MAJOR panic attack BEFORE the test, I'm extremely calm and rational during, then I'm back to panicking after (what if I answer that question wrong and so on...)

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And Voidus, I'm sorta like that with exams too, but I usually get a MAJOR panic attack BEFORE the test, I'm extremely calm and rational during, then I'm back to panicking after (what if I answer that question wrong and so on...)

Same here, but you'll do great and good luck! :)

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Exams day one went horribly but this might be the nerves talking...

I still have one day of exams on Thursday, hope I do better then :s

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Exams day one went horribly but this might be the nerves talking...

I still have one day of exams on Thursday, hope I do better then :s

You'll do great on Thursday :):). And nerves sometimes are good.

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Exams day one went horribly but this might be the nerves talking...

I still have one day of exams on Thursday, hope I do better then :s

 

When exam or project is finished, spend remainder of day/week curled up on bed biting nails. Use this time to question your own intellect, remember vividly each and every mistake you have made thus far (be sure to go back to that time in kindergarten when you asked the teacher if she made the bathroom smell bad in front of the entire class!) and wonder if you will be doomed to a lifetime of working at McDonald's. 

 

Exam grades will be posted in a few days. When you learn you did far better than you thought, feel free to ignore your family saying "I told you so!" as you open a bottle of your favorite hipster soda to celebrate. 

 

(Update: I got a 98 percent on my project, so I must've done something right. You'll do better than you think, DM. :)

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Woo congrats Twi!
As long as you weren't too drunk I'm sure your exam went better than you think :P

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Thanks guys fir the awesome advice ;)

Tge exam on Thursday is gonna be s breeze I'm not even studying for that one.

As for the exams I already did, I'm not really sure if my answers are even right or wrong tbh

But what's done is done, am gonna proceed with nail biting till e grades come up...

PS, I'm ALWAYS too drunk :P (jk, contrary to what my name implies, I don't drink muchk

Edited by The Drunk Monkey
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