Xcarthan12

To Look Skyward, Chapter One

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Here is the first chapter of my NaNoWriMo novel, an epic fantasy entitled To Look Skyward.

The premise: In a massive city built on and between two mountain ridges, the upper (literally) class oppresses the lower class, and through a magic that allows mind control based on elevation, has forced the lower class into virtual slavery.

I'll let the rest of the book speak for itself.

I've never tried this before, but I thought it might be cool, instead of uploading a file, giving a link to the Google Doc version of my chapter, in which you can make suggestions directly in the text that I can later correct. Mostly, I am looking for emotional reactions to things, such as "this part is cool" or "this joke wasn't very funny". Stuff like that. Not really grammar stuff, though if you find that go ahead and give me a heads up. Thank you so much and I hope you enjoy!

 

https://docs.google.com/document/d/15y5ChcUzzbgIk9aU5KviFTyAXzrXQcN8BsfHwX7ORWI/edit?usp=sharing

Edited by Xcarthan12
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Now, I might be missing something.  And I don't actually have the time to critique tonight.  But where's the link?

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*facepalm* Dang it. There we go, it's there now.

Edited by Xcarthan12
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