What Happened in The Dalles

[Fatebreaker]

Antonio had been planning to sleep in. It had been a good day and he had decided to crash in one of his cozier bolt-holes. He actually had a pillow in this one. He was gonna lay low for a while, since the city guard would be on extra alert for him. Sleep in, eat a few snacks, take a day or two off.

 

That had been the plan anyways.

 

It all changed when Jaime(thats pronounced Hi-Mey, for all you non hispanics out there) woke him.

Jaime was a siamang, and as such, ignoring him was not easy. He had come from the circus and had escaped and followed Antonio when he left. He was still wearing his pants with suspenders that had been part of his circus garb, and a newsboy cap he'd taken a shining to. He kept bonking Antonio on the head and hooting softly. Antonio tried to ignore him, but Jaime became more agitated, tugging on his arm and hooting louder.  Antonio tried to roll over, but Jaime jumped on top of him and started jumping up and down.

 

"Cállate Jamie!  You'll bring the guards down on us with your noise. Let me sleep."

 

Jaime  jumped down and ran to the window. he looked out, and then started hooting wildly. 

The call of the siamang can be heard at over two kilometers away. In this small room, it was deafening. Antonio threw his hands over his ears and rolled out of bed, staggering towards the agitated primate.Jaime knew better than this! He was going to get them arrested!

 

"Jaime! What is sparking wrong with you!?!"

 

Then suddenly Jaime was silent. He was looking at Antonio and pointing at the sky. Then Antonio heard the noise.

Oinking.

Antonio looked out and saw what appeared to be flying pigs releasing razor squirrels over the city. He stared in silence at the scene playing in the skies above the Dalles. His head was pounding like he was hung over, and he couldn't even hear his stomach growling.

 

"This must be what going mad feels like."

 

He then noticed a tight group of pigs flying towards the reading outpost. What made this group of flying swine unique is that unlike the rest of the flying sausages, these ones were carrying pandas.

 

Sparking Pandas.

 

He watched as they dropped from the pigs and were obscured from view by the buildings.

Jaime hooted softly and grabbed his hand, giving it a comforting pat. His eyes seemed to say, "It's going to be one of those days. We should probably eat first."

Antonio held the bridge of his nose.

 

No, this is what going mad must feel like.

Edited December 27, 2014 by Fatebreaker

[Mailliw73]

As Edgerunner landed next to Lucy, in the small pork-free area, she began breathing deeply and counted to five. She found that it helped quell the anger that arose in her chest when she used her powers. Lucy nodded towards her and greeted her simply.

"Emma," she said.

"Lucy," Emma responded, relieved to be with an Epic who wasn't some extreme annoyance in one way or another. She smiled at Scribbler.

Emma noticed as Lucy's hand briefly grazed her own breast. She seemed to calm a bit as she did so. Emma had noticed the strange gesture that Lucy performed often when greeting Epics. She had never mentioned it, for fear of losing any sort of friendship that existed between the two as well as wanting to avoid Scribbler's rage. Whyever she did it, it helped her, so Emma moved on.

"Do you know what we're up against? It seems to be some kind of animal manipulating Epic but the noise has been too much for me to hear the radio. Has anyone discovered who it is?" Lucy questioned Emma.

"Arse told me about some panda invaders," Emma answered, using her nickname for Arsenal. She found it hilarious that his name could be shortened to an obscenity. She never used it in front of him of course; she'd only get another eyebrow show and a lecture. "Apparently they set up wooden forts outside the town and then began shooting flaming arrows. Then the pigs showed up. This new Epic has some weird humor." Edgerunner stabbed another rabid squirrel as it lunged for her thigh.

[Seonid]

Will ran through the forest, breath heaving. That sparking epic, the one with the shining sword and the silver armor, just wouldn't let up. And Will was beginning to get tired. Very tired. Something had to give. He squeezed through two fallen trees, then left one of his wisps in the opening. Hopefully the shock he'd get from running into it would be sufficient to delay him. As he ran, the sound of curses following gave him a quick sense of relief. He'd gained a few precious seconds.

 

It happened too quickly to react. The ground gave way beneath Will's feet, and he found himself falling down through a muddled mix of sand and water. Quicksand. The same patch he had led those two girls to the day before. How could I have missed that? His thoughts were furious, but they changed quickly to panic. Frantically, he started clawing his way back to the surface, then he remembered himself and relaxed, floating. That was the only safe way to deal with quicksand. The more you struggled, the more you sank. His face broke the surface, and he gulped in huge mouthfuls of air. Where is that Epic? Where did he go? That was the important question now. If he didn't locate the man, it wouldn't matter whether he made it through the sand or not. That sword would skewer him much too quickly. He pulled himself out of the pool, his last wisp floating around him. The forest was still.

 

He noticed a flash of silver and turned his head quickly. The Epic was charging towards him, straight across the pool of sand. At the last second, he leaped powerfully, trailing drops of blood from his severed arm. He looked like he might clear it. Will's eyes lit up. That arm was a weakness, and he had a way to exploit it. With a flash like lightning, he sent his last wisp to the leaping Epic, bringing it directly into contact with the severed stump of the arm. He saw the spark even through closed lids. He heard the splash as the Epic fell. Will opened his eyes to see the armored man thrashing frantically near the edge of the pool. The last sound he made was a scream of primal rage as his head sank below the water.

 

*  *  *  *  *  *

 

Ari huddled up against the tree trunk, shivering in terror. She was almost frantic with her fear. Her mind was threatening to shut down. Somewhere, on an instinctive level, she knew that she needed to calm down. So she did what she always did when fear threatened to take over. She told herself a story.

 

The giant lizard roared at her new daddy. He was brave, but all he had was a big stick. She didn't know any stories where people beat lizards with big sticks! Maybe she could tell herself a story about the brave knight in shining armor that saved the day. And they could all go live in a castle together! But wait. The prince from Frozen turned out to be a bad guy. She wasn't sure if she wanted a prince to come if she couldn't trust that they'd live happily ever after.

 

Well maybe there was a story about a unicorn that came in and made her feel better. Maybe one with wings that could fly her and her daddy away where they would be safe. But a unicorn couldn't get its horn through that lizard's thick skin. There was only one story she could think of. Reaching well back into her memory, she pulled out a story about a great dragon. She remembered that she hadn't liked that it went around eating people, so she had changed it so that it went around eating monsters and saving people from them. That was a much better job for dragons. Besides, they were so pretty and colorful...

 

She began the story in her mind. Once upon a time, there was a brave girl and her daddy, who were being attacked by a giant lizard. Suddenly... As she went on, her mind slowly calmed, and her fear slipped away.

 

The lizard roared again at her daddy, moving closer. But this time, it was answered with another saurian voice. This one was much louder, and it answered with fire.

[Newan]

 

Planeshift was dripping wet.  Where was he?  How did he get here?  It looked like he was on the outskirts of a town.  He looked to his left.  A portly woman with a buzz cut stood there with a confused look on her face.  Memori.  Friend.  Sheep noises.  Planeshift looked to his right.  A bald Asian man was sitting on a rock.  Current Event.  Friend.  Blood oxygen.  Current Event's face was pale and there was blood on his leg, but whatever wound had caused his condition had been wrapped, apparently by the same ratty fabric that the three of them were all wearing.  Planeshift looked down.  The bottom half of his shirt had been cut off.  

 

Memori spoke up first.  "What's going on?"

 

"Well now," said Current Event with a hint of an accent, "Because of what you did, none of us really know, do we?"

 

"What's that supposed to mean?" Planeshift said.  

 

"She let her fears get the better of her, man.  Apparently, we are supposed to be doing something very important, but she was too afraid that some Reader guy would find out."

 

"Hold up," said Memori, "My memories only go back to a moment ago, right before I said 'what's going on'.  Could you please start from the beginning?"

 

Current Event pointed north to a wide river.  "I can only remember the last twenty minutes.  I was controlling the currents to push us up that river when a stray arrow fell out of the sky and hit me in the arm.  Planeshift, you said we needed to stop and wrap my arm, and that we could drive 'the rest of the way', whatever that means.  Memori went to investigate.  She said the town was under attack from pandas, that it's called Dalles, and that she remembers hearing about a telepath named Reader who lives here.  I guess she knows a lot about telepaths.  Then she wiped most of our memories so Reader wouldn't be able to figure out our plan.  She said that our memories would come back once we get on the road."  

 

"Which road?" Planeshift asked.

 

"No clue." said Current Event.  

 

"That is the most ridiculous thing I have ever heard!" said Memori. "I can wipe people's memories?  There are pandas attacking a town?"

 

"Well since you probably only remember hearing a few dozen things, it doesn't really have much competition." said Current Event.  He was trying to act confident, probably because he was the only one who could remember much of anything, but from pale face it was clear that he too was shaken.  Or maybe that was just the blood loss.  

 

Planeshift walked over to Current Event and offered him a hand.  The man accepted it, and groaned as he stood up.  

 

"Memori, help support Current Event," said Planeshift. "Your powers are mental, so you don't need your hands to be free.  I can't remember if I have any combat training, but since we can still walk, I know she didn't wipe our muscle memory.  I have a feeling that if I start punching stuff, it will come back to me.  Since the town is under siege, the pandas will have destroyed any means of transportation they could get their paws on.  That means the only working cars will be in the town.  We need to go in and find something fast, with gravitonics.  It's going to take more than grandma's jalopy to get past a blockade of intelligent bears.  Since we came up the river, we need to drive that way."  He pointed east.  

 

"Hold up." said Memori, "How do we know you're supposed to be in charge?"

 

"Because you chose to leave me one memory," said Planeshift, "and it was our weaknesses."

[Seonid]

 

Ranger picked himself up from where he had jumped from his bike as it exploded. Nothing seemed broken, so that was probably a good sign. Paladin had already gone roaring off after the Epic who had ambushed them. Ranger had more important concerns.

 

Ariel lay, neck twisted at an odd angle, nestled up between a pair of tree roots where she had come to rest. He ran over to her uncertainly. She could regenerate, true, but he'd never seen a set of injuries as bad as this one. As he approached, he could see that the back of her head was caved in from where she had hit the road, and her clothes were torn and ripped from her violent trip across the asphalt and into the tree. Come on Ariel, he thought as he knelt by her side, examining her injuries. You can do this. Don't let a simple motorcycle ambush be the end of you.

 

There! One of the abrasions was closing as he watched. He carefully moved her broken body out of the hollow in the tree to give her room to regenerate. The back of her head started filling out as soon as he pulled her out, and he heard cracking sounds from her neck as it twisted back to a normal orientation.

 

He was almost ready to breathe a sigh of relief when she started jerking and twitching uncontrollably.

 

The fit lasted for nearly two minutes, before she fell still. Ranger had seen this happen once before, and there was only one explanation. Paladin was dead.

 

Shivering slightly, he picked Ariel's limp body up in his arms and moved off into the forest to find a safe place to wait.

 

*  *  *  *  *  *

 

Will O'the Wisp slipped quietly back through the forest, almost skipping with excitement. It had been a good day. He'd sent a couple of vanillas to be eaten by a giant lizard, he'd drowned an Epic in quicksand, and the secret he had been sent to secure was about to be his. He would just have to face it. Today was going to be hard to top.

 

The idling gravitonic car hummed quietly on the road in front of him. He settled to his search, whistling contentedly as he rummaged through various papers and knick-knacks in the glove compartment, trunk, and scattered over the back seat. Arvin was obviously not a neat car owner.

 

An hour later, he still hadn't found what he was looking for. He was just about to pull out a knife and start cutting open the seats when a thought hit him. If I had an extremely valuable and extremely secret to take back to The Dalles, would I leave it in my car? Not a chance. I'd keep it on my person.

 

With building frustration, he rushed back towards the clearing where he had left the vanillas.

 

*  *  *  *  *  *

 

The clearing was empty. The vegetation smoldered, as if Arvin had turned to fire in a desperate attempt to save himself. The torn dirt and tracks told the story of a titanic struggle, but there was no sign of either vanillas or lizard. They had vanished without a trace.

 

Will let out a scream of rage. It was gone.

 

*  *  *  *  *  *

 

Arvin lay awake in the back of the cave, one arm curled protectively around Ari as she slept. The dragon lay at the mouth of the cave in the growing twilight, every now and then taking a bite out of the roasted monitor lizard. The events of the last few hours were still confusing to him. The lizard advancing. Another roar, out of nowhere. A burst of flame, white hot like a smelter's furnace. And then he had been grasped firmly but not dangerously in a vast claw, flown to this cave in the side of a mountain.

 

A dragon. A real, honest-to-goodness dragon.

 

Arvin wasn't sure about a lot of things, but he knew one thing for certain. This little girl - this little Epic - was like nothing he'd ever encountered before.

 

He lay back to try to rest, but it was a long while before his whirling thoughts slowed down enough for him to drift off.

[mail-mi]

Thanks to Twi for helping me with Koschei!

 

Darkness.

 

Reader tightened up as soon as the bag went over his head. He tried to move, tried to attack, tried to get out, but his body wouldn’t obey his commands. Though a bit of light still seeped through the canvas, he couldn’t make anything out.

 

He couldn’t. See. Anything.

 

Reader barely moved as he felt the pandas pick up the bag and start to hoof it--or maybe paw it--down the hall. He wanted to claw, he wanted to punch, but his body refused to move. Darkness. He was blind. His powers relied on sight, and if he was sightless, he couldn’t Read anything. Though darkness wasn’t technically his weakness, it still hindered him greatly. The constant wealth of information he had grown so accustomed to was gone.

 

This had only happened once before.

 

* * *

Two years ago.

 

Koschei left him. After supposedly “trying” to heal him, he just up-and-left.

 

Reader tried to shout out in rage, but he could hardly form a single coherent word. That blasted Epic! That sparking slontze! Reader clutched his wound again, which was still open. He wanted to do something to him, something that would hurt him forever.

 

A voice whispered in the back of his mind. You know him better than anyone else, Reader. You can figure out his weakness...

 

Reader pushed the thought away. If he killed Koschei, what would be left for him? Koschei was the immortal “god” of healing. Reader was just omniscient, not immortal.

 

No, Koschei must’ve disapproved of something he’d done before. There was no other reason that he would refuse to heal him, right? Determining to prove his loyalty, to show Koschei how much he needed Reader, he walked after Koschei to the garage.

 

“N-north,” the driver, Clarence Lloyd Martin, sputtered. “He went north.”

 

Springfield, Reader thought. He’s talking about Springfield.

 

“Was he armed?” Koschei asked, his knife still bloodied. He must have killed and revived Clarence a few times already.

 

Reader stepped up to Koschei. “Yes, Springfield was armed,” he said proudly. “Also, the driver didn’t talk to him at all, he just saw him going north. He doesn’t know exactly where Springfield is headed.”

 

Koschei eyed Reader, then turned back to Clarence. “Thank you.” Koschei drew a bloodied finger along Clarence’s cheek until he opened his eyes and looked into his smile. His eyes closed again. “Continue to do as I say, and you will remain whole.”

 

He released Clarence, who sank slowly to the floor, and smiled at his prisoners. Shots rang out, and Reader ducked down, until he realized they were coming from somewhere distant from the garage. Not all of them were stopped by Frequency’s whistles. Koschei’s cruel smile faded, and Reader winced. Others were following the plan Koschei had put into place, and were attempting to secure some of the surrounding homes. It didn’t seem entirely successful.

 

Koschei’s gaze turned back on Reader, and it became a scowl. Briefly--he covered it quickly--but the displeasure was unmistakable. Wiping the blood from his hands, he took a roll of gauze from a battered first-aid kit hanging on the wall, strode toward Reader, and wrapped it tightly around the wound.

 

“You’re coming with me,” he said. It wasn’t a request, nor a command, but a fact. “When we encounter the Springfields, you will tell me where they plan to go.”

 

Reader glanced down at the gauze. Still, he doesn’t heal me. “I...of course. Let’s go.”

 

* * *

 

Reader’s body finally moved, shaking in an intense shiver. He’d buried those memories down, deep down, and yet everyone and everything seemed intent on forcing them back up again.

 

He felt the bag being lifted up, then set down on something. Then...well, then it felt as if the thing the bag was resting on was being lifted higher, and higher, and higher still.

 

Reader hated not knowing exactly where he was going, but it looked like that wasn’t going to change any time soon. At least this ride won’t be as bumpy as when the pandas were carrying me, he thought. Suddenly, the whatever-he-was-in lurched, and Reader fell off of whatever-he’d-been-on-top-of and onto the floor of whatever-it-was.

 

Reader scowled. Never mind.

Edited December 21, 2014 by mail-mi

[Kobold King]

  

 

 

I was wrong, Backtrack thought dimly. Koschei isn't the ruler of The Dalles.

 

He was cowering in a corner, right beside a large chart showing different cuts of a pig's body.

 

Irony is.

 

Squirrels continued banging on the windows, raging against the glass in a way that made Backtrack think of old zombie movies. The difference being that no one felt ridiculous when fleeing from zombies, because zombies were actually scary.

 

Autumn Glass, fortunately, had taken control of the situation. Backtrack didn't feel inclined to argue--even if she wasn't flanked by armed soldiers, he'd still be following meekly at her heels. Zombie squirrels weren't something a man could just handle on his own.

 

"Glass to Arsenal," the woman spoke through the crackling radio. "In Bentley Avenue butcher shop with three unregistered Epics. Two have momentum-based powers demonstrably capable of bringing down the pigs." She winced for a moment, though it was unclear why. "Sir, what do you advise? Remain in shop until danger has passed, or send momentum Epics to assist?"

 

Backtrack reflexively shot a glance at the twins, who were standing bemusedly out a window. They were still holding hands, which he would have found cute at any other time. Right now though, he could barely keep the terror out of his voice.

 

"Um, Glass?" he yelped anxiously. "You're not... you're not sending them away, are you?" A bead of sweat formed on his forehead, joining a congregation of its bretheren holding some kind of sermon on his brow. "I mean... it could be dangerous for them, who knows what else is out there..."

 

OK, so he wasn't really concerned with the twins. He'd seen the way they'd de-airborned the flying pig earlier; there was no doubt they could handle themselves.

 

What he was really concerned about was how well-defended the butcher shop would be without the momentum-controlling goddesses on hand.

 

Before Autumn could respond, a curse blasted through the radio.

 

"Damnation Glass, you're supposed to restrict them from using abilities! We're lucky your negligence--" The radio crackled, though whether it was from typical static or the high-pitched squeal of something dying was impossible to tell. "Calamity, Glass. We'll be talking about this later. Send them out!" the voice commanded.

 

Backtrack's heart sank. Well, sparks.

Edited July 12, 2015 by Kobold King

[TwiLyghtSansSparkles]

 

"Damnation Glass, you're supposed to restrict them from using abilities! We're lucky your negligence—" A squeal made the radio crackle, causing Autumn to wince. "Calamity, Glass. We'll be talking about this later. Send them out!" 

 

You get rid of your powers for a day, she wanted to shout back. Just one day. You try to keep two stubborn teenagers in line when they see you as three steps above pond scum. You try to keep them from using their powers in the middle of a crisis while I insult you over a public radio channel for doing your job. You want to try that, Arsenal? Do you? 

 

Making a conscious effort to unclench her jaw, Autumn pasted on a smile. Arsenal couldn't see it, but the twins and Backtrack could. Were Vondra there, he would say something about "presenting a unified front to outsiders." 

 

He would also say something about "putting Epics in their place." 

 

Autumn drew a few breaths until she no longer felt like shouting, raised her radio, and replied as sweetly as she could. "Apologies, Arsenal. I wasn't aware that power use must also be suspended in life-or-death situations. In future crises I will ensure all options and ammunition have been exhausted before seeking alternative methods of defense." Worth the lecture, she thought with a smile. 

 

Lowering her radio, she checked the pouch at her belt. Fifty spare rounds of ammunition, plus the six she had chambered. "How much ammo do you have?" 

 

Bill and Jordan confirmed what she knew: they each carried the standard one hundred spare rounds. A glance at the pig-darkened sky and swirling, chittering ground told her their supply wouldn't be enough to make a difference, but combined with the twins' powers, it would get them to safer ground. "Here's the plan," she said mostly to the twins, who appeared eager to rush out the door and bring down as many pigs as they could. "We need to get out of this shop before those pigs realize they can break the windows. We'll head for Arsenal's outpost by way of the healer." Reader, Vondra is going to hear about this. I'll start counting every time I have to say that. "Backtrack and I will stay there, while Waters and McKenzie escort you to Arsenal. You two and McKenzie take the lead. Bring down any pigs or squirrels that pose an immediate threat. Waters will cover the rear. I'll take out any remaining threats. Stick to the plan. If we deviate, our chances of being overwhelmed increase, and being overwhelmed by flying pigs and zombie squirrels is not my idea of a good time. Does everyone understand the plan?" 

 

Either they did or they lied. The squealing and scratching outside the door left them no choice but to follow it. 

 

"Good. Twins, stay close. Backtrack, stick by me. Don't even think about wandering off." The thought of this scrawny, cringing man rolling up his sleeves to face the pigs on his own terms was laughable, but she could see his frightened eyes through those useless pink glasses of his. Wander off, no. Run screaming for the hills, flapping his arms like a penguin, yes. Still, when dealing with Epics, it was best to treat them all the same, and if she had to be a little harsh with the twins, she had to be a little harsh with Backtrack, too. 

 

"Ready? Let's go." 

 

Holding her rifle, Jordan pushed the door open, beckoning the twins after. Autumn stood to follow, saw Backtrack still huddled beneath a diagrammed pig, and sighed. "Come on, we'll get overrun if we stay." 

 

Bill finally had to nudge him with his steel-toed boot to get him up off his feet. Once he was up, they left the shop, a bell above the door signaling their departure. 

 

"Stick to the plan, everyone. Twins, ready an attack and we'll—" 

 

What could only be described as the detonation of an atom bomb in a glitter factory cut off her words. Showers of red and gold, green and purple spun in the air like someone had turned the sun into a massive disco ball. Autumn squinted, shielding her eyes, unsure whether the swirling dots and colors she saw were her eyes trying to adjust or the result of the explosion itself. Dead squirrels fell to the ground like furry hailstones, hitting the asphalt with sickening crunches and splats. 

 

And there, scarcely a few feet away, was the shiniest, sparkliest Epic Autumn had ever seen. Aside from the turquoise jacket, her white blouse and jeans could have been mistaken for normal—had her shirt not sparkled. She turned toward them, and Autumn knew that if this colorful Epic was one of the invulnerable ones, she had best send her last words over the radio while she had the chance. 

 

There was a brief moment of silence before Autumn lifted her radio. "Glass to Arsenal. You are not pinning that one on me." 

Edited December 20, 2014 by TwiLyghtSansSparkles

[Voidus]

MV led Impact out the door, hands tightly grasped in case they needed to attack quickly, the squirrels seemed to have largely vanished for now, the few remaining were quickly sent flying into the air.

"Stick to the plan, everyone. Twins, ready an attack and we'll—" 

A nearby detonation cut Autumn Glass off mid sentence with a shower of colour.

What is wrong with this place?
 

A form emerged from the colour-splosion, for a moment a panicked MV thought it was that crazy glitter-lady from the museum come to retrieve them but they were dressed differently.

A small crackle of a radio broke the silence.
"Glass to Arsenal. You are not pinning that one on me." 

"So... not a friend of yours I take it?" Impact asked, picking up a shard of glass and aiming it at the newcomer.

MV readied her powers, prepared to immobilize the newest in a line of bizarre Epics she'd met today.

 

Lucy Lockser let a small smile escape at Emma's words, the idea of how Arsenal would react to the nickname was just too funny to contain.

"Weird sense of humour indeed, but whoever it is they're certainly strong to make and control an army of this size, no matter how ridiculous that army may be." She replied.

The combination of Emma's arrival and the terriers still chasing squirrels had cleared the area for now. With a thought Lucy dismissed the dogs, their bodies instantly collapsing back into an inky mess.

Lucy got to work on a larger project while she had the time, scrawling out the word 'griffin' in large letters while she talked to Emma.

"They've got flying capabilities and these kinds of numbers, this is going to be a difficult fight." She said. "We only have a few flyers and knowing him Arse is probably going to spend 10 hours lecturing people before actually making anything useful."
Lucy cracked another smile when she used Emma's nickname for Arsenal. For a brief moment she felt a connection with her, but then her smile faded. No matter how she acted, Emma was an Epic. She couldn't be trusted, not long term.

Finishing her work, Lucy actualized the ink. The beast rose slowly from the ground, golden hair melding slowly into large eagle feathers. Stretching briefly the griffin opened it's eyes, an emerald green orb fixed upon Lucy immediately, watching her as it's beak opened to let out a screech.

Lucy nodded respectfully to the griffin before reaching out a hand cautiously. Living things were tricky for her, mythological ones even more so, she created them with the compulsion to follow her verbal orders but she'd found it was easier to get them to obey if it was something that seemed natural to the creature.

Colourful explosions littered the sky for a brief moment, accompanied by squeals and a rain of squirrels falling to the ground. Lucy frowned at the sight, who could possibly be doing that? Glamour? He could create the lights certainly but what was causing the actual damage?

Shaking her head Lucy turned back to Emma.

"Want to go find some bacon?" She asked, a grim smile on her face.

[Edgedancer]

A bit of radio static caught Shiny Sparkles attention. She saw a group of five people, at the front a freckled woman speaking into a radio. "Glass to Arsenal. You are not pinning that one on me."

Glass, was looking at her rather worried and the rest of her group seemed to pick up on that. A pair of blonde twins behind her turned hostile almost immediately, one of them picking up a shard of glass and pointing it at her.

 

“Now now, I´m just here to help you with your flying pig problem, so there´s no reason to be aggressive.” Shiny Sparkle remained relaxed while talking; not paying much mind to the weapons pointed at her and casually surveyed the rest of the group, as she continued talking, “Anyway, the only thing that you´ll manage to do with that is cut yourself. I would say that glass is useless but that would be tactless, wouldn´t it?”

 

The other members of the group were two soldiers that still seemed a bit perplexed by the situation and lastly a scrawny man that apparently took the chance offered by her teleportation to jump back into the building and was now cowering behind the doorframe, a nice pair of pink sunglasses sitting on his nose.

 

A Cheshire cat smile spreading across her face and she teleported next to the sunglasses wearer, where she grabbed him by laying an arm across his shoulder, not giving him a chance to colorful sparks erupting next to him, “Calamity, communication broke down after that Koschei guy took charge here but why did no one tell me that there was such a nice pair of sunglasses here. Say, does that whole pig thing happen often around here?”    

[mail-mi]

Thanks to Seonid for all of Ironmonger's dialogue and other descriptions!

 

Miner walked through the hallways of the City Hall--which, ironically, had more than one hallway.

 

Though, it didn’t really have much more than hallways. It was a bit shabby, and old, run-down building, pre-Calamity by the looks of it. Miner grunted with distaste as he examined the pictures of famous vanillas in the town. He was beginning to have a hard time believing this Ironmonger was as powerful as he’d heard. Why, if he was the Epic version of Magneto, as he’d been told by a nerdy-looking passing vanilla, did he stay in this drab of a place?

 

Miner followed the screams. It sounded like...a begging woman? Miner’s lips curved into a half-smile. At least Ironmonger seemed to know how to treat vanillas. Still.... Miner began to craft a deep tunnel under the city hall, but far enough under the surface that the building had no chance of collapsing the tunnel...unless Miner deemed otherwise. If Ironmonger didn’t turn out as the people had said, Miner would not hesitate to sink the whole building and take over Ironmonger’s budding empire.

 

He reached the place where he assumed the screaming was coming from--the main audience room. He threw open the door, startling the pair of guards who stood sloppily to attention as he entered. One fell down in surprise. The other moved as if to challenge him, then stopped. The ring of stone around Miner’s arm was a dead giveaway that he was an Epic, and this vanilla obviously wanted nothing to do with challenging Epics.

 

The screaming was coming from a short, rather attractive woman who appeared to be in her late twenties. She was kneeling before a tall, powerfully built man with jet-black hair and a cruel expression on her face. If this wasn’t enough to identify the ruler of the city, the hair ornaments levitating more than a foot above her head, yanking her face up at an uncomfortable angle, certainly did. Two more guards held a gagged child up against the wall. It looked to be about two years old.

 

Ironmonger turned to look at the new disturbance, then turned his attention back to the unfortunate woman. “I have no use for a woman who betrays me. One who seeks attention from lesser men.” His voice was gravelly, rasping in a cruel cadence.

 

“Please. My lord. It is as I said. The child is from before you came here. I haven’t seen the father in years. Please! I am faithful! Believe me!” The woman’s voice grew more and more desperate as she spoke. Ironmonger cut her off with a curt wave of his hand.

 

“I do not wish to hear your feeble lies any longer, woman! It is time you learned the penalty for betrayal.” With another gesture, her hair ornaments flew backwards, dragging her by the hair until she hit the far wall with a crash, hanging a foot above the ground. The necklace around her neck cut into her skin, pushed by the awesome force of Ironmonger’s power. Her hands went to her neck, trying hopelessly to pull off the necklace. Her face began to turn blue, and her feet began to kick against the wall, drumming a frantic rhythm. Ironmonger watched for a long moment, then turned to face Miner as the drumming feet began to slow.

 

“Who are you, and what are you doing in my presence?”

 

Miner grinned, looking back at the woman stuck on the wall. He looked back at Ironmonger, then knelt on one knee and bowed his head. He held that position for a second, waiting while he refilled the hole beneath the city hall. Ironmonger was definitely just like the people had said. He looked up at the emperor. His emperor. “I come to offer my...humble services to you, great Ironmonger. I wish to join your conquest, as I have...” He lifted his stone-encased stump, rotating it and pretending to examine it. “...revenge to enact.”

 

Ironmonger smiled a cruel smile, and motioned for the guards standing nearby to ungag the child. He immediately started whimpering. “There appears to be a child in my court who recently lost his mother. Normally I wouldn’t care, but I find the incessant noise disturbing. As a demonstration of both your powers and your loyalty, would you please excise the disturbance? And find a proper place for that piece of filth.” He motioned toward the body still hanging on the wall, pinned by her jewelry.

 

“Why, of course I can.” Miner stood up and faced the child first. He slowly opened up a hole underneath the boy, a hole that reached as deep as he could go. The rocks beneath the room rumbled as they shifted out of the way, shaking the city hall as if there was an earthquake. The child screamed as he plummeted into the glowing red hole, and Miner sealed it up before any magma could escape to the surface.

 

That annoying, little thing taken care of, Miner stalked over to the woman’s body. A pretty little thing, Miner was almost regretful that she’d had to be killed, but she was better dead than rebellious. He carefully crafted a coffin of stone just beneath the ground, then waited for Ironmonger to drop his hold on her. Moments later, she slumped into the small hole, and Miner buried it deep down underneath the ground

 

He turned back to Ironmonger and smiled, going down onto one knee again. Ironmonger nodded curtly. “He’ll do,” he said to the guards, who stood down reluctantly. “Whatever your name is, Epic, I accept you as my vassal. If you will attend me in the morning, there will be a war meeting. We plan the invasion of The Dalles, as soon as our forces can be ready to strike.”

 

“It’s Miner, my Lord,” Miner said, standing up slowly. “And I would be...glad to be your vassal.”

 

Ironmonger smiled. “Welcome to the Iron Empire, Miner.”

Edited December 22, 2014 by mail-mi

[Mailliw73]

As Frequency stood atop the old apartment building, he watched the panda attacks take place. He kept the national guard's radio frequency in his mind as well, listening to their panic as they were attacked. The black and white bears had sent in flying pigs with baskets of angry squirrels. The Epic in charge of this assault had style, Frequency admitted. An assault of animals. The more he deliberated whether or not to contact and join him, the more he realized that this panda would likely want to populate this city with his black and white brethren and he was obviously more than capable of taking the city.

Frequency decided that he would first need to help the government of the Dalles defeat this panda Epic before he would destroy them to claim this city again for Koschei. He'd need some assistance to do that though. He had made some friends in various nearby cities when he had been hiding out after Koschei's death. He used his mobile to contact three of them. They had formed a sort of triumvirate of rule in a triangle around the Dalles. Blitz in Wasco, to the east, Terraform in Wishram to the north, and Canis in Hood River to the west. All three ruled their small towns, nothing much, but then, their powers weren't superior to many Epics. They worked together to govern their territory. None of them had wanted to take on the Dalles, first with Koschei's powerful rule and then with Vondra's steel grip on the city. With Frequency's help though, they could be enough to take over the city.

Blitz would be the last one here, most likely. His powers weren't suited to quick transportation. He'd have to drive here. He could summon lightning from the sky or shoot bolts from his hands, which made him the most combat suited of the three Epics. He was in charge of defenses and the militia of the three cities.

Terraform could manipulate dirt. As long as it was fairly fine, she could control it. She occupied the city just north of the Dalles, across the river in Washington. She was the leader and coordinator of the trio.

Canis was a speed Epic. He could move up to 150 miles per hour. He could also track anyone who's blood he had touched before. It was a requirement in Hood River, his city, for Canis to touch every person's blood. Hood River being next to the river, he was fast enough to run on the surface of the water and go quickly between the cities. He was in charge of communication between the three Epics and their towns. He knew exactly where Frequency was and so he'd be the one to get all three to Frequency's building.

Frequency kept watching the city's battle as a colorful explosion happened somewhere to the west of his location. He had seen that before. Shiny Sparkle from Dallesport. He had been to that city briefly after Koschei's death. He had seen her in action a couple times, but never interacted with her.

Frequency smelled a slight unpleasant stench of blood, dirt, and electricity. He turned to see Canis shutting the door to the roof after Blitz and Terra came up. He had, Frequency assumed, brought the two other Epics into the city with his speed so that the guards would miss them.

"Hello, friends. Pleasure to see you again," Frequency greeted the trio. He kissed Terra's hand and smiled at the two male Epics.

Canis's grin, which bothered most people, spread across his face as he spoke, "'Sup, Freq. We're taking the Dalles now?"

"Canis, patience. We don't all move at such fast speeds. Frequency, it is wonderful to work with you again," Terra said. She was the rational one of the three.

Frequency smiled at the woman. "It's okay. Canis, yes we are. The Dalles will come under our rule soon enough. But first, there's a new Epic here who thinks he can take this city as his own. He has an army of pandas, flying pigs, and squirrels. Some type of animal control or manipulation is likely his powerset. Once we drive him out of town, then we can take this city from the pathetic humans that attempt to control it."

"Sweet!" Canis said. "Let's get to it."

"First, we need to let these vanillas know we're here and we aren't under their control," Blitz said, speaking up for the first time. He had sparks of electricity jumping between his fingers and looked ready for battle, or maybe like he had just come out of battle. His shirt was singed and his face was burned. He had long ago shaved his head to stop his hair from burning and singeing when he summoned lightning. He wasn't harmed by his lightning, but his clothes didn't get the same protection and the heat still gave him slight burns.

"I agree," Frequency smiled. "Will you do us the honors, Blitz?" Blitz nodded and his hands reached into the air. The sky above darkened as grey storm clouds gathered. A bolt of lightning struck in front of the building the four Epics were standing on. All of them had their ears covered as an almost instantaneous clap of thunder followed. They uncovered their ears as Blitz shot twin lightning bolts from his hands to the north, frying pigs in the sky. Terra joined in this spectacle, raising up dirt that was gathered at the base of the building. She created a wall of it in front of them. She then sent out tendrils, each grabbing pigs out of the air and smashing them to the ground.

"Well done, my friends," Frequency said. "That will let them know that we're here and that we don't care for these pandas either. Now, humans that die during this battle are insignificant, but avoid killing the Epics of the Dalles. They may be useful to us."

All three nodded and Canis burst off, ready to fight. Terra smiled at Frequency as she used some dirt to carry her to the ground. Only Blitz was left with Frequency. "Let's go get these guys," Blitz said grimly. Frequency nodded and headed towards the ground floor of the building.

[Fatebreaker]

 "Anything else? I don't really know anything about the city, besides a few names." 

Reflection thought a moment then  gestured to a chair.

 

"Lift that and place it on the other side of the room without damaging anything if you can. After we will proceed to an alley a short distance from here where Busdriver will create a bus that you are to destroy. You must be aware that there are guards and mutants about, and if you attract their attention you will with them alone. If you are captured or killed, then you are unworthy to join us. We will return here afterwards. You will maintain professionalism at all times. Have I been perfectly clear?"

[the winter system]

Mistwraith waited, her fingers tapping the side of the wall. The Epic pointed out a chair. "Lift that and place it on the other side of the room without damaging anything if you can. After we will proceed to an alley a short distance from here where Busdriver will create a bus that you are to destroy. You must be aware that there are guards and mutants about, and if you attract their attention you will with them alone. If you are captured or killed, then you are unworthy to join us. We will return here afterwards. You will maintain professionalism at all times. Have I been perfectly clear?" Mistwraith wanted to scream, but she breathed in and out calmly.

     "Yes." Mistwraith flexed the "third hand" that was the mist. A tendril of mist formed through the water in the air. It surrounded the chair and picked it up. Mistwraith wasn't sure how she did that, just that she did. More mist formed and gently pushed the chair across the room. It bumped into the ground once and Mistwraith's heart skipped a beat. However, it didn't damage anything. She landed the chair on the other side of the room. 

[TwiLyghtSansSparkles]

 

No sooner had Autumn sent what could very well be her last words over the radio, she lost control. One of the twins lifted a shard of glass and brandished it like a weapon, the other shifting into a fighting stance; the sparkling newcomer smiled, oblivious to the two assault rifles aimed at her; and Backtrack appeared to silently beg Calamity for the power to sink through the floor and disappear. 

 

“Now now, I´m just here to help you with your flying pig problem, so there´s no reason to be aggressive.” She nodded to the bit of glass, unfazed by it or the weapons. “Anyway, the only thing that you´ll manage to do with that is cut yourself. I would say that glass is useless but that would be tactless, wouldn't it?”

 

Autumn knew her first duty was to determine what sort of threat the newcomer posed. She wasn't supposed to care about her reputation, or how this would look when performance reviews rolled around, or what Arsenal would say when he heard she'd been murdered by an Epic whose shirt would make a four-year-old girl squeal with glee. But with two trained soldiers toting potentially useless weapons and three dangerous Epics who knew it, Autumn had different priorities. 

 

With one hand, she reached for her pocket. Her fingers brushed the recording chip she'd taken from her office and turned it on. If she released pressure on the button for more than a minute, the recording would be automatically transmitted to the nearest base, which could then send for backup. ​Wait—what's the nearest base? We're closer to Dallesport, which means we're nearer to the center of town than the edge, which means the closest base is….

 

Arsenal's. Of course. If her last words were "Augh! Put that down! Backtrack, come back here! If I've told you once I've told you a hundred times—listen to me, will you?" then Arsenal could read them at her funeral. 

 

Her smile stretching into a catlike grin, the Epic vanished, reappearing beside Backtrack in a shower of colorful sparkles. Before he could protest, she had her arm around his shoulder as he shrank back. If Autumn wasn't mistaken, a small whimper escaped his lips. “Calamity, communication broke down after that Koschei guy took charge here but why did no one tell me that there was such a nice pair of sunglasses here. Say, does that whole pig thing happen often around here?”    

 

Autumn did not say the first thing that popped into her head. She would not, under any circumstances, have something about unauthorized hugs as her last words. "Teleportation," she noted instead. "That's useful." If backup was sent, they ought to know what they were dealing with. "So other than the pigs, what brought you here?" 

Edited December 27, 2014 by TwiLyghtSansSparkles

[Edgedancer]

The guy she grabbed whined and tried to get out of her grip, not that she let him. Before she got any more reactions out of him Glass interfered. “Teleportation, that's useful. So other than the pigs, what brought you here?" Shiny Sparkle teleported in front of the woman, also dragging Pinky and his sunglasses along with her, both of them appearing surrounded by a shower of light.

 

Making sure she still had her grip on the whimpering Pinky she smiled at the other woman, “Nothing really, I just was a bit bored and,” she pointed towards the sky and caused another sparkling explosion up there, “what´s better than a good firework to entertain yourself? Am I right, Pinky?” Shiny Sparkle nudged him a bit.

[Voidus]

Impact nearly wrenched her neck trying to keep up with the sparkling explosives and teleportation the woman was producing, she managed to clear her eyes enough to see again just in time to hear the newly arrived Epic.

“what´s better than a good firework to entertain yourself? Am I right, Pinky?"
Pinky?

About to reply, Impact was, for perhaps the 10,000th time in her life, interrupted by her twin.

"Hey!" MV yelled "You don't get to call him that! He's mine!"
Impact raised a skeptical eyebrow to her sister, imperceptible to most her twin seemed to sense it without even looking, blushing immediately and beginning to stammer.

"I- I just ah.. I just meant you know, that we um... came here together..."
In a truly unusual state MV seemed to be having trouble speaking, looking down as her face slowly turned crimson.

Any longer with this guy and she's going to turn into one of those girls from Jeremy's anime. Impact mused, a wry smile on her face.

"What my sister is oh so eloquently trying to articulate" Impact began, taking over from the still stammering MV. "Is that you should let go of him now. We've had a rather bad day and I'm really not in the mood to stop my sister here from squishing you with the weight of a falling elephant or whatever the hell this day throws at us next."

[Edgedancer]

As she gave Pinky a hug one of the twins screamed at her, "Hey! You don't get to call him that! He's mine!" The girl tried to backpedal almost immediately, blushing deep red. Looking at her, she might be a bit young for Pinky but one couldn´t help but want to cheer for such a pure maiden… or teasing them.

 

Completely and wholeheartedly ignoring the other twin, Shiny Sparkle hugged Pinky´s head. “Calamity Pinky! Why didn´t you tell me you had a girlfriend, such a cute one even,” Shiny Sparkle gave it her best shot at sounding flustered, although she couldn´t quite keep the amusement out of her voice, “You shouldn´t be here with me if you already have a woman in your life.” The Epic let go of his head and pulled the shades from his face. “These sunglasses however deserve someone better, someone faithful. I shall take them to the only person here lovely enough to do them justice.”

 

After making her passionate exclamation Shiny Sparkle teleported and reappeared a very short distance away, right behind Glass. Not giving the woman time to react she put the glasses on her, she really did look cute with them and from this close she could tell that her hair was in a nice red ponytail. On an impulse Shiny Sparkle hugged the other woman, pressed herself against her back and rubbed her cheek against hers. “Glass,” Shiny Sparkle called her name in a wistful tone, “you´re the only one here treating me properly. I think I might be in love.”

[TwiLyghtSansSparkles]

 

Many things had been on Autumn’s mind that day. With the panda invasion and the appearance of three new Epics, plus another whose power was as sparkly as it was destructive, she’d had precious few moments to pause and think. But as the sparkling Epic balanced Backtrack’s stolen glasses on her nose and hugged her from behind, one thought and one thought only drifted through Autumn’s head.

 

Is she serious?

 

It was not the first time an Epic had flirted with her. Nor was it the first time said Epic had been female. Precious few captured Epics dared flirt with Reader, but for some reason that escaped Autumn’s comprehension, most of them seemed to assume that flirting with the quite obvious good cop would convince her to bend the rules. The second she explained them, the City Guard’s prisoner would turn up the charm.

 

But there was no prison. No Reader. If she wanted, this newcomer could probably turn each of their heads into a colorful explosion, then sit back and watch the show. She could convince the momentum twins to join her, blackmail Backtrack with his glasses, and skip off to try and take control of the town. She didn't hold all the cards, but she held some of the best. 

 

And here she was. Hugging Autumn. Pressing her cheek against hers.

 

Flirting.

 

There was only one thing to do. Two, technically, but one of those involved pushing the Epic away and ordering Bill and Jordan to fire, and that option made far less sense than the other.

 

Autumn smiled and leaned into the hug. Everything had a strange pink cast from behind Backtrack’s glasses, including Backtrack, who seemed unsure whether to cry or demand his glasses back before crying. “I think it might be a bit too soon to talk about love….but if the city’s still standing when my shift’s over, there’s this great bar downtown.”

Edited December 31, 2014 by TwiLyghtSansSparkles

[Mailliw73]

This is another part of the Destructors story that takes place in Connell, Washington.

Jag was left with his Commandos and Metalmech's squad. The other two Epics swung around to hit the steel factory and cause destruction along the way. Jag knew that if they killed the strongest Epics in town, the humans and other Epics would surrender easily and the city would be theirs.

He leapt out of the Lightning, leaving two Commandos in the bed to shoot at the guards. The other three got out of the truck as he did. One guard dared to make eye contact with Jaguar. Black Jaguar leapt towards the man. He ripped into the man's neck with his teeth. The skin gave way under his fierce bite easily. Ignoring bullets, Jag turned to the next soldier as the man dropped, bleeding from his jugular. The second man lasted only a second against Jaguar's strength enhanced machete thrusts. A third, a fourth, a fifth. They all fell. To his strength, to his claws, or to his machete, they all fell. When Jag got into a rage like this, regular humans didn't stand a chance.

They were all inferior. Jag lifted their weak bodies as if they were feathers. He snapped bones like most people snapped peas.

{non existent image for Smasher here.}

Smasher drove his jeep past the guards, ignoring any attacks. The commandos would take care of them with their weapons. Smasher made himself as dense as possible so that any stray bullets would just bounce off of him. He also kept a hand on his door to increase the car's chassis's density too. Bullets wouldn't be able to damage the metal as long as he touched it.

Smasher drove in a curve, heading towards the steel factory, sweeping from the right. Once he arrived, he got out of the car and hefted his large metal shield. Densifying it, he charged at the nearest soldiers and cut a path through them, shoving them all to the ground. He created force fields in the middle of groups of soldiers, the fields were like small, expanding bubbles: they grew outwards from where he started them, knocking aside anything they hit. They created patches where no soldiers could enter. Any soldiers that had avoided Smasher's first hit were knocked over now. His Commandos began shooting at the prone soldiers on the ground.

[mail-mi]

Hundredeyes had never quite gotten used to switching his vision around.

 

He was the newest Epic in the Architect’s ring, and he’d only had his powers for about a year. The Architect had immediately seen his powers for what they were: very excellent security. And so, Hundredeyes was Connell’s head of security. He spent his days rotating his vision between all of the Eyes he drawn out in the city, scanning for possible threats.

 

It was then that he saw the advancing cars and tanks.

 

He switched his vision to the nearest Eye and focused in on them. “Three cars,” he said, “and one tank. All fully weaponized.” He switched to his normal eyes and looked at one of the soldiers guarding him. “Warn the Architect--there might be Epics coming.” The soldier nodded and ran off to tell him.

Hundredeyes switched back to the Eye watching the cars. Suddenly two of them split off, and the other two started to attack. The vanilla guards of the city went out to attack, and were quickly cut down. One of them slumped against Hundredeyes’ Eye, instantly blinding him to the attack.

[Voidus]

The Architect lounged on his couch, one hand trailing to the side, reaching down to the concrete floor. A mass of grey liquid slowly seeped up around his hand and then solidified in his palm in the shape of a dart. His hand snapped out quickly, sending the dart towards a nearby dartboard. With a soft thud it missed the board completely, the dart falling back to the ground only to liquefy under the Architects gaze again.

“That’s what, the 30th miss in a row?” asked a nearby voice. Maodun lounged on his own chair, casually stabbing the ground with one of his spears, which cut through the solid concrete like it was butter.

“Mmmm” the Architect replied lazily, not in the slightest concerned with his terrible performance. “I’m bored.” He whined. “I haven’t done anything even slightly interesting for weeks. Not since I collapsed that building onto that fire-guy. What was his name again?”

“Uriel” Maodun grunted, equally bored though much more frustrated by it than his companion. “Twice the idiot for trying to take such a grand name when he had such a pointless power”

A rush of footsteps proceded a soldier entering the room, the man snapped a quick salute before adressing MaoDun.

“Sir! Reports of gunshots have been coming in, it seems to be a large scale firefight. Presence of Epics is currently unknown.”

MaoDun wrenched his spear out of the ground with a grin.

“You coming?” He asked the Architect who still lounged in his seat throwing darts. A brief pause and a lazy nod later the Architect collected himself out of the seat, a small pool of concrete climbing his body, clinging to him as he walked.

“Are you sure that’s wise sir?” The soldier asked. “We have no intel on the soldiers they might have st-”

“SHUT UP!” The Architect yelled, his eyes snapping wide. The soldier took a hasty step back.

“Sorry sir! I just meant… sir?” The soldier began to strugggle as he slowly sank into the floor, the formerly solid surface turning into a thick goop under the Architects gaze.

“You should know, you should all know!” He screamed at the struggling soldier. “You never mention that! NEVER!”

A trail of thick grey liquid slowly ascended the soldiers body as he fell to his knees in terror. The soldier whimpered as it reached his neck, showing no signs of slowing.

“Please, sir! I didn’t… I won’t do it agai-”

The soldier choked off his sentence as the liquid coursed down his protesting throat.

“No.” The Architect said sternly, his rage finally cooling as the soldier fell. “You won’t.”
He departed the building with MaoDun, they left the body, concrete leaking from the dead man’s eyes as he was slowly absorbed into the buildings structure. One of many such ‘additions’ to the architecture of Connel.

[Edgedancer]

Shiny Sparkle wasn´t even the one wearing rose-tinted glasses, yet she couldn´t help but find Glass´ smile beautiful. First those glasses and now Glass herself, why hadn´t she visited the other shore earlier? As she returned her hug, Shiny Sparkle stared to purr and let some of her power flow out, making both her own and Glass´ clothing emit a faint warm glow, it was probably the closest Shiny Sparkle had ever come to blushing.

 

“I think it might be a bit too soon to talk about love….but if the city’s still standing when my shift’s over, there’s this great bar downtown.” Glass offered her. Not quite a victory but enough to string along a maiden´s love.

 

“It´s a date then,” Shiny Sparkle happily continued to flirt, still rubbing their cheeks together, “Seems I´ll have to help your town now, you cute little fox.”

 

Naturally, she knew that Glass might just be trying to use her and anyone else she would probably deserve to be exploded for that or dropped off somewhere far away from home without clothes but right now a first date seemed worth it, especially given that´s why she came here in the first place.

 

“What´s first on our agenda then Glass, blowing stuff up, making sure no longer Pinky doesn´t start crying by hooking him up with the tsundere or some more cuddling, please tell me it´s the cuddling.” To make her point Shiny Sparkle gave her love a squeeze.  

[Newan]

Previously, on What Happened in the Dalles:  Planeshift (personal spacial dilation), Current Event (water current manipulation), and Memori (memory suppression) came to the Dalles by river, but Current Event was wounded and they now must steal a car.  Memori gave them selective amnesia because she is afraid of the telepath Reader.  

 

 

"Hows it going in there, Planeshift?" asked Current Event through the broken window of the car they were trying to hotwire.  

 

"Not so well," replied Planeshift, exasperated.  He was sitting upside-down in the driver's seat with his head under the steering wheel.  He had three wires in each hand.  Three!  Where did they come from?  "I was hoping that I had muscle memory of how to hotwire a car, but apparently I've never done this before." Planeshift touched two wires together and was rewarded with the blaring car alarm.

 

WOOP! WOOP! WOOP! bweeeEEEEP! bweeeEEEEP!  BEEDOO! BEEDOO! BEEDOO!

 

"Sparkamity!" yelled Memori.  "This isn't going to work.  Let's get the heck out of here before we attract any attention.  We'll go with Plan B."  

 

Planeshift had come up with a few backup plans while they had walked into the Dalles from the river.  It seemed prudent to have contingencies when walking blind into what might be the strangest city in northwest Oregon.  

 

"Look out," called Current Event, "We're about to be attacked by flying pigs!"

 

Planeshift clambered out of the window of the noisy vehicle.  Sure enough, two pigs were diving straight down toward the fugitive epics.  Somehow, they even managed to look dangerous despite their pink pudginess.  Planeshift reached up toward them and the world changed.  It compressed around him until the pigs were within reach.  He grabbed a leg of a different pig in each hand, then let the world change back.  As the world stretched out again, his feet were lifted off the ground until he was high in the air, hanging from the pigs.  To another's eyes, he would have appeared to stretch upward, grab the pigs, then return to a regular size.  

 

The pigs struggled, but Planeshift didn't let go.  They fell toward the ground together.  Before they hit, Planeshift rapidly stretched horizontally.  The world shrunk toward him and he held his arms outright.  His hands with the pigs in them smashed through the walls of the buildings on the two sides of the street, and the pigs fell limp.  

 

Planeshift held that position for a moment and caught his breath.  His hands were still stuck through the walls.  He was only a few feet off the ground.  His hands hurt, his knuckles skinned, but his bones should be splintered.  Maybe they were unbreakable.  Planeshift dropped the dead pigs and returned to normal size, dropping to the ground in the middle of the street.  

 

Current Event stared in awe.  "I don't care if you can't hotwire a car.  I'm keeping you."  

 

***

 

The fugitive epics were ready to put Plan B into motion.  There was some kind of patrol or supply line, because military vans drove down this street every ten minutes.  The last one had come nine minutes ago.  Memori and Current Event stepped into the street.  

 

Like clockwork, a van drove up on the tenth minute, but this time it had to slow to a stop to avoid hitting the two disheveled Epics.  The soldier in the van rolled down the window and pointed a megaphone at the epics.  

 

"Citizens!  Please clear the road!"

 

"Please help my friend," said Memori, "He's been injured."

 

Planeshift sneaked up behind the van and started to crawl under it.  He hurried because the soldier seemed to have a short temper.  

 

"Clear the road or I will be forced to run you over.  Don't you know the Dalles is at war?  Get out of the way, now!"

 

Before the van started driving, Planeshift laid flat on the asphalt, then stretched until his back was pressed against the bottom of the van.  Then he slowly stretched just a little bit more, so the wheels were lifted slightly off the ground.  When the driver hit the gas, the wheels spun freely.  It was only a moment until the aggressive soldier got out of the van to try and figure out what was going on.  Now it was up to Memori.  

 

"Soldier!" yelled Memori, "What are you doing?"

 

"Um, well," stammered the soldier.

 

"Spit it out." said Memori.

 

"I don't remember."

 

"Oh dear.  This is worse than I thought." she said.

 

The soldier looked very confused.  

 

"Jonah," Memori said, choosing a random name.  It's not like the soldier would know the difference.  "You were saving a family of five from a collapsing home when a beam hit you in the head.  It seems to have given you a serious concussion.  Do you remember driving here, to the medical ward?"

 

"No," he said.

 

She sighed.  "You'd better get in there right away, captain.  It's that one," and she pointed at one of the buildings.  The soldier hurried toward it.  

 

The three epics quickly piled into the van.  Memori had made sure to make 'Jonah' forget that he left his keys in the ignition.  They started driving toward the east end of the city.  

 

"Family of five?" asked Current Event from the back seat.

 

"Yeah, the disapproving thing wasn't working for me.  I had to improvise some flattery in there," Memori said while making a right turn.  

 

"I'm just glad it worked," said Planeshift.  "Next stop... well actually I still don't remember where our next stop is. But that's ok.  At this moment, all I want is to get out of this ridiculous city."

 

Then all hell broke loose.  

[TwiLyghtSansSparkles]

 

Backtrack's glasses made everything look strange. Grass and pine needles took on a darker hue. The sky—what she could see of it through the pigs—was a garish shade of purple. The pigs looked pinker than any pig had a right to be, dropping squirrels that appeared nearly black. But the glasses couldn't explain Autumn's shirt, which had begun to glow softly. 

 

That would be the Epic pressed against her, cheek to cheek, who had begun to purr. 

 

“It´s a date then." If she wasn't serious, she was very good at acting that way. Most Epics stuck to verbal flirting; precious few went right for a hug. "Seems I´ll have to help your town now, you cute little fox.”

 

Autumn kept her hand in her pocket, finger pressed firmly against the recording chip. She couldn't let go. Letting go would mean sending the data to Arsenal. Then again, if she had a date tonight, he'd find out anyway. 

 

A date. She had a date. 

 

With an Epic. 

 

“What´s first on our agenda then Glass, blowing stuff up, making sure no longer Pinky doesn´t start crying by hooking him up with the tsundere or some more cuddling, please tell me it´s the cuddling.”

 

Autumn kept the button pressed. She would tell Arsenal later, when she told Vondra. He would learn about her date when she wanted him to, when she could give him the short and official-sounding version. "It was somewhat unexpected, but I believe it's essential to the security of the town, sir. It might even open a door to further cooperation with Dallesport."

 

Yes, that was what she would tell him. After she smashed the recording chip and tossed the pieces into a bonfire, of course. Bill and Jordan, for their part, were doing a commendable job of keeping straight faces. They know it's not my fault, right? I mean, I've never flirted on the job before, ​so if someone asks….

 

"I…well, Backtrack got shot earlier, so we were kind of on our way to getting that looked at. You—" Sounding both professional and flirtatious while an Epic who could turn her clothes into an IED was hugging her and rubbing her cheek against hers was more difficult than Autumn thought. "You want to join us? And I don't think I caught your name?" Sparks! Too professional! Fix it, fix it before she— "Mine's Autumn. Not Glass. Well, Glass is my last name, but—" 

 

It sounded more confident in her head, before the Epic hugged her again. 

 

​"…but Autumn's fine."