killersquirrel59

Nightwatcher Boon/Bane (Game)

9,900 posts in this topic

*poofs into existence*

Yes, tis I! Truthless of Shinovar! However, Nameless, you’re bane is that you receive a name and it is Hubert Keagen III! (No offense if that’s anyone’s name here).

Honorless, your bane is that you are also part of said collaboration, and the brunt of the responsibility and the work falls upon you.

I wish for a piano teacher!

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4 minutes ago, Truthless of Shinovar said:

I wish for a piano teacher!

Granted. I am now your piano teacher. I think that's enough of a bane for you

I wish for some cool rocks.

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Granted. They are huge and they crush you.

I wish for some doughnuts

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On 9/3/2021 at 6:47 AM, Szeth's Facepalm said:

I wish for some doughnuts

Yes but those donuts were originally supposed to be sent to Katakuri

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and he's not happy about you having his donuts. And you, you are not Luffy. So, tough luck when Katakuri finds you munching on his donuts.

I wish for... oh! I wish for a Devil Fruit! 

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Caesar Clown hand you a shiny new SMILE, when you bite into it, however, nothing happens (except for, of course something that is a spoiler)

I wish for a tablecloth

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6 minutes ago, Doomstick said:

I wish for a tablecloth

Granted. It is hilariously ugly.

I wish to know exactly what I want to go to college for.

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Music. You gain permanent tinnitus

I wish for some cool flags of cosmere countries to be released

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5 minutes ago, Doomstick said:

Music. You gain permanent tinnitus

Is that supposed to be a curse? I already have that :P

6 minutes ago, Doomstick said:

I wish for some cool flags of cosmere countries to be released

Granted. Brandon spends his every waking moment for the next 16 years developing flags for every country that he'll ever make in the entire Cosmere.

I wish to be able to pick locks really well.

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21 minutes ago, Nameless said:

Is that supposed to be a curse? I already have that :P

Granted. Brandon spends his every waking moment for the next 16 years developing flags for every country that he'll ever make in the entire Cosmere.

I wish to be able to pick locks really well.

Granted, your taste when it comes to locks is impeccable, and no one in the land can rival your sense of style. Your bane is that every lock you ever come into contact with will be locked and can’t be unlocked.

I wish for green.

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You get green:

Hank Green! Welcome to Crash Course Chemistry!

Your bane is that there is a hungry crow that follows you always

i wish for better air quality

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7 hours ago, Doomstick said:

Caesar Clown hand you a shiny new SMILE, when you bite into it, however, nothing happens (except for, of course something that is a spoiler)

Dammit 

6 hours ago, Doomstick said:

I wish for better air quality

Granted, in exchange for worse water quality. Next time you turn on your faucet, a cat crawls out of it, proving once and for all that cats are liquid.

I wish for the red coat from A Darker Shade of Magic

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On 9/6/2021 at 7:03 AM, Honorless said:

you are not Luffy.

How do you know i'm not Luffy?

14 hours ago, Honorless said:

I wish for the red coat from A Darker Shade of Magic

It's yours. But whenever you hear music that your brain registers as christmas music you start doing the macarena.

 

I wish for some super-strength study juice (as in it makes it way easier to study and do schoolwork)

Edited by Szeth's Facepalm
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Enjoy your Ritalin. You now have three 50 cent pieces superglued to the roof of your mouth.

I wish for a hat like Abraham Lincoln

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13 hours ago, Mage said:

I wish for a hat like Abraham Lincoln

The Nightwatcher smiles and says, "Finally, I am released!

Fourscore and seven Desolations ago, I, a simple spren of well built log cabins, was joined with the spren of the spirit of the law, and the spren of large cylindrical hats and became something greater than the sum of my parts. I have striven to uphold my sacred charge of dispersing fitting and sometimes ironic boons and banes, never turning the unending legions of supplicants away.

And when I came into being, Mother Cultivation promised that one day, a man of uncommon wisdom would come forth, and I would know this worthy by his judicious desire for the most morally upstanding chapeau in the Cosmere (and in the known universe as well). This beacon of uncommon good sense would request simply 'a hat like President Lincoln'. And she said to me thus, 'This shall be thy bondsmith'.

So I'm going to kick back with some horneater white, and have myself an Emancipation Celebration, because from now on I'll be passively supplying you power and you're going to be the one giving out the boons and banes. Easy street here I come. Look, there's a hammock spren, I'm going over there for a bit, wake me up when the Final Desolation hits."

My wish is that after reading my parody of "He's Got a Hat Like President Lincoln's", ya'll will watch the video of the original song "She's Bought a Hat Like Princess Marina" (spoilered below).

Quote

He's Got a Hat Like President Lincoln's (sung to the tune of She's Bought a Hat Like Princess Marina's by the Kinks)

He's got a hat like President Lincoln's
To wear on all his Bondsmith campaigns
He wears it when he's pow'ring the Radiants
He wears it when he's giving out banes
But you will never see him in Azir
Cuz' in the Valley he just remains
But he's got a hat like President Lincoln's
So he just reigns

Spoiler

 

 

Edited by Hoiditthroughthegrapevine
Tightened up the parody lyrics, a little better, just a scosh
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Granted. Your bane is you now have that song stuck in your head forever. There is nothing you can do about it. 

I wish for a squirrel (How can this backfire, squirrels are awesome!)

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58 minutes ago, Shard of Reading said:

I wish for a squirrel (How can this backfire, squirrels are awesome!)

Granted. The squirrel is killed in a car backfire incident.

I wish for a smooth wisdom teeth removal tomorrow.

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The nighwatcher says "ok" and hands you a coconut. you open the coconut and find it is filled with teeth made out of marzipan. You are perplexed. Your bane is that you can only breath out of one nostril at a time (and your mouth, of course).

I wish for a really good nights sleep.

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Granted. You never wake up. Just kidding that was really dark. Your true bane: During all waking hours after this marvelous night of sleep you hear the local country music radio station inside your head at full volume. It turns off at 10 pm and then back on at 7 am. Enjoy sleep while you can.

I wish for juggling skills like Thom Merrilin

13 hours ago, Nameless said:

I wish for a smooth wisdom teeth removal tomorrow.

I got my wisdom teeth out in December, right as my hold on RoW came available. I had already read part one through the preview chapters. I read the whole rest of the book in three days because I was doing nothing else.

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On 9/9/2021 at 10:45 AM, Mage said:

I wish for juggling skills like Thom Merrilin

Granted. you now have to juggle skills constantly in order to survive. (No, the Nightwatcher has no idea what that means either).

I wish for Allomantic Pewter so that I could recover from my wisdom teeth surgery way faster.

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The nighwatcher tells you to eat the marzipan teeth that were in the coconut she gave you.

I wish to be abke to know what to say in every situation

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1 hour ago, Szeth's Facepalm said:

I wish to be abke to know what to say in every situation

The Nightwatcher is confused as to why you want to be now to know what to say in every situation. She gives you some peanuts instead. Your bane is that you are now allergic to broccoli. 

I wish to be able to tell the ingredients in food just by looking at it.

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Granted, but you are allergic to every ingredient you see

I wish for a cool jacket

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14 minutes ago, Kelsier'sGodComplex said:

I wish for a cool jacket

Granted. The jacket always keeps you just barely uncomfortably cold.

I wish to be blind.

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13 minutes ago, Kelsier'sGodComplex said:

Granted, but you are allergic to every ingredient you see

I wish for a cool jacket

The Nightwatcher says "Go Go granted".

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Your bane is that when you pass gas it's now mostly helium (instead of methane), and that to fill your flying Go Go gadget jacket you have to eat mainly beans. But on the positive side, you are the only person who passes "noble gas".

Doh too slow

2 minutes ago, Nameless said:

I wish to be blind.

Granted!

The Nightwatcher hands you a set of those blacked over lens glasses you see in cartoons and a cup of pencils. Your bane is that you have to pose for cartoonists.

I wish for something flat.

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