Nightwatcher Boon/Bane (Game)

[+Hoiditthroughthegrapevine]

51 minutes ago, Enter a username said:

I wish for allomancy.

Granted. You're even a full allomancer, only problem is you're turned into a never-aging baby. Pre-speech, but you can army crawl and cruise using furniture. You get enough zinc from sucking on pennies and brass from sucking on door knobs that you can soothe and riot your parents so you always get to pick whats on the TV.

51 minutes ago, SirWolfe said:

I wish for the ability to become more energetic (in terms of awake-ness and motivation) by standing in sunlight.

Granted. Only problem is that your head is now dark brown and circular, and surrounded by a bunch of bright yellow petals and small green sepals. You look like a sunflower, but boy is that sunlight invigorating!

I wish that tanning booths were really covert entry points to underground CIA laboratories.

Edited June 11, 2020 by hoiditthroughthegrapevine

[Enter a username]

Granted. You can't know about it, though.

I wish that people would stop ignoring my "granted"s.

[+Hoiditthroughthegrapevine]

40 minutes ago, Enter a username said:

I wish that people would stop ignoring my "granted"s.

Granted. The Nightwatcher, looking more pale than usual, suddenly starts talking to about packet routing, internet latency and many other such abstruse particulars about how the internet works. Finnally she shows you the following image highlighting the problem (Spoilered below)

Spoiler

if you look closely, your entry is above mine, but your reply hadn't registered before I submitted mine. Your post says clearly "posted 2 hours ago" while mine says "posted 1 hour ago". This seems to be a network latency issue, but it is bizarre. You might want to mention this on the 17th Shard tech support page if it keeps happening. 

Your bane was that you had to listen to the Nightwatcher drone on about IT issues. 

I wish that I had winged shoes like the god Hermes.

[Truthless of Shinovar]

1 hour ago, hoiditthroughthegrapevine said:

I wish that tanning booths were really covert entry points to underground CIA laboratories.

What? Entry points? Who said anything about entry points?

Spoiler

 

*covertly into a walkie talkie*
He knows too much, send in strike squad six!

 

Edited June 12, 2020 by Truthless of Shinovar

[Enter a username]

Granted. You have ordinary shoes with wings on them.

I wish for my sister to age six months so that she can get a 17th Shard account, by her request.

[+Hoiditthroughthegrapevine]

44 minutes ago, Truthless of Shinovar said:

What? Entry points? Who said anything about entry points?

Oh how nice! There are six suited florists here to give me some flowers, but why is that guy loading a bullet magazine into that bouquet and attaching a silencer to that rose?

17 minutes ago, Enter a username said:

I wish for my sister to age six months so that she can get a 17th Shard account, by her request.

The Nightwatcher says "Awwww, that's so sweet", and suddenly you find that you are looking out of your sister's eyes...it was her request to get a 17th shard account, but it's your account! Now your sister, after she swapped into your body did age 6 months, but unfortunately you'll have to wait 6 months to setup a new account. But since you were so sweet the Nightwatcher gave you an everlasting lollipop.

I wish that I could, without dying, travel past the event horizon of a black hole, with a firefly traveling companion ( who likewise wouldn't die) and see what happens to the light it emits. 

[Shard of Reading]

1 minute ago, hoiditthroughthegrapevine said:

I wish that I could, without dying, travel past the event horizon of a black hole, with a firefly traveling companion ( who likewise wouldn't die) and see what happens to the light it emits. 

Granted, but after you see what happens you die. (Because what you wished for happened)

I wish for a good book that I have never read before, in mint condition.

[theTruthshaper]

Granted. But the book is made mint flavored chewing gum.

I wish that I could fly.

[Shard of Reading]

Granted. You are now a fly.

Truthwatcher: Bzzzzzzzz

Nightwatcher: You are so annoying *SMACK!*

I wish I could turn invisible

Edit: Why do I always notice my grammar mistakes after I post?

Edited June 12, 2020 by Shard of Reading
Grammar

[Truthless of Shinovar]

Granted, but you can only do it once, and you can’t come back.

I wish for a journey across the world.

[Shard of Reading]

Granted. But you must do it in 80 days.

I wish for superpowers.

[Gears]

15 minutes ago, Shard of Reading said:

Granted. But you must do it in 80 days.

I wish for superpowers.

Granted. Your superpower is the ability to always insert the USB stick the right way first try. Your bane is that everyone pesters you to put their USB sticks in their devices. You never have a moment's rest. 

I wish that I have a copy of every book that Brandon has ever and will ever write in a format that I can understand and talk about without being rendered incapable of reading the books, listening to the books, or any other method of absorbing the information contained within the books.

[Mat]

Granted. The second you finish them you will be struck dead.

I wish that bird outside my window wasn't there.

[SirWolfe]

7 minutes ago, Matrim's_Dice said:

I wish that bird outside my window wasn't there.

Granted, it vanishes in a puff of smoke. Your bane is that once a day, a small object in your line of sight will vanish forever.

I wish for an unsealed bronze metalmind.

Edited June 12, 2020 by SirWolfe

[+Hoiditthroughthegrapevine]

1 hour ago, Gears said:

I wish that I have a copy of every book that Brandon has ever and will ever write in a format that I can understand and talk about without being rendered incapable of reading the books, listening to the books, or any other method of absorbing the information contained within the books.

Granted. You're put in stasis for a thousand years, and the executors of your estate have dutifully placed  a copy of everything that Brandon ever wrote during his lifetime in your cryogenic vault including photostatic copies of grocery lists, random musings on the back of envelopes while he was on hold on the phone, etc.

After your thousand year sleep you see your mountainous accumulation of all the works Brandon ever created ( even the hundreds of titles co-written by Brandon-bot in the 2050's). Your cryochamber includes a food synthesizer, so for 3 solid months you do nothing but read and reread all of Brandon's books. All the secrets of the Cosmere are laid bare, all you questions have been answered with satisfying resolutions. You are completely content. 

When you emerge from your cryo chamber, what looks to be a mac classic on a hover board swerves within inches of your face. You struggle to see as your eyes adjust to the bright light of day. All around you see metal structures, and to your left the crappy, tinny sound of a robotic bird pierces your ear. The bird is perched on some sort of strange metal tree. You flag down a passing hover car, and when the window rolls down you see no one inside, then the car rudely yells "Get back, you'll scratch my paint flesh-bag".

You have read all of Brandon's works, but you have no one to discuss them with. You are in fact the last human on earth. The good news is that Brandon-bot is still around and putting out books faster than you are biologically capable of reading them. Most of them are surprisingly good except the Fridge-Light Archive, those are total garbage.

*Edit*

Doh, Ninja'd.

@SirWolfe

I wish for an unsealed bronze metalmind.

 

Granted. You are the proud owner of an unsealed bronze metalmind that has been promptly resealed through the process of vitrification in a 3' x 3' solid cube of glass. Quite the handsome paperweight you got.

I wish hotdogs were health food.

Edited June 12, 2020 by hoiditthroughthegrapevine

[Enter a username]

Granted. They cure cancer, but that makes them ridiculously expensive.

I wish for the ability to change my reading speed at will. (I'm reading Warbreaker right now and I don't want to wait two weeks for another Sanderson book.)

[Rosharan A.C.]

Granted. Your bane is that every three seconds faster that you read, a page of the book is lost to your memory.

I wish for the willpower to go to bed early.

[Enter a username]

What about slower? I'm trying to make Warbreaker last until I can get another Sanderbook.

Edit: Granted. You have the willpower to go to sleep at about 8 AM

I wish that the upvote limit didn't exist.

Edited June 12, 2020 by Enter a username

[BringerOfLight]

1 hour ago, Enter a username said:

What about slower? I'm trying to make Warbreaker last until I can get another Sanderbook.

Edit: Granted. You have the willpower to go to sleep at about 8 AM

I wish that the upvote limit didn't exist.

Granted, but you can accrue no upvotes.

I wish for my enemy's death.

Edited June 12, 2020 by BringerOfLight

[Gears]

2 hours ago, BringerOfLight said:

Granted, but you can accrue no upvotes.

I wish for my enemy's death.

Granted. Your enemy dies of natural causes many decades in the future.

I wish to be a good friend of Hoid that is unaging and immortal, has not become a Shardbearer, has not sworn an oath of non-interference, and consistently has positive interactions with Hoid. 

[Enter a username]

Granted. Everyone else you meet mistakes you for an enemy and attacks you, leaving you physically quite broken after only the first few centuries of it. After all, immortality and invincibility are two very different things. 

I wish gain Allomancy for cadmium and bendalloy without Hemalurgy.

[Mist]

13 minutes ago, Enter a username said:

I wish gain Allomancy for cadmium and bendalloy without Hemalurgy.

Granted. You can now only drink liquids. 

I wish for a Pattern sticker. 

[Truthless of Shinovar]

3 hours ago, Mist said:

Granted. You can now only drink liquids. 

Isn’t that what everybody does? Because you never drink solids, you only eat them...

[Mist]

4 minutes ago, Truthless of Shinovar said:

Isn’t that what everybody does? Because you never drink solids, you only eat them...

Sorry. You cannot eat solids is what I meant. 

[Soulbinder]

4 hours ago, Mist said:

Granted. You can now only drink liquids. 

I wish for a Pattern sticker. 

Granted. It isn’t waterproof and you receive it in the rain.

I wish for a mini marshmallow.