killersquirrel59

Nightwatcher Boon/Bane (Game)

6,863 posts in this topic

Granted. Your daddy becomes the pony.

I wish for Jay the mods to remove my post, and Jay's post right behind it that way, this topic can have 5800 posts.

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Posted (edited)

The Nightwatcher gives you a blank stare. “I’m sorry, can you repeat that? Coherently this time?”

I wish for Reese’s Pieces.

Edited by Jaywalk
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Granted, you get the pieces of a random guy named Reese.

I wish my dog wasn’t so lazy.

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Granted. Now you are lazy.

 

 

I wish for a cat named Poe.

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Granted, but Poe is very good at kung fu, and repeatedly kicks you in the face as you try to sleep.

I wish that cats didn’t hate me.

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Granted. Now dogs hate you.

 

 

I wish to learn Kung Fu.

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Granted. You have to use it on a half-hourly basis, making you too tired to do anything but sleep when your not using your wicked moves.

I wish for good food of my choice.

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Granted. You have a choice of 4 slips of paper that say good food in a different font.

I wish I could have copper feruchemy.

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Granted, your teeth now have the consistently and texture of burnt toast.

 

I wish for a really fun bane.

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1 hour ago, The Technovore said:

Granted, your teeth now have the consistently and texture of burnt toast.

 

I wish for a really fun bane.

Granted, the fictional character Bane is now both real and your roommate. He's a lot of fun, except that you're Batman.

 

I wish for cool socks.

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Granted. Your socks are made of ice. They're very cool, for the next two minutes.

 

I wish the week was 8 days long.

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Granted. You have one extra day to go to school.

 

 

I wish I had something to do.

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Granted. You are now allergic to chocolate.

I wish for more wishes.

 

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1 hour ago, WannabeWorldhopper said:

Granted. You are now allergic to chocolate.

I wish for more wishes.

 

Granted, but you may only wish for the ability to make people poop their pants at will.

I wish for the ability described above.

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Granted, but monkey see, monkey do, and monkey you are.

I wish I could snowboard sans helmet without risk of smashing my head open like a coconut. I hate helmet hair.

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Granted but you now always have helmet hair.

I wish that the essay I am working on was finished.

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7 minutes ago, Karger said:

Granted but you now always have helmet hair.

I wish that the essay I am working on was finished.

Granted. Now you have to write mine. And it's for my Cranky Professor with Double Sticks up her...

I wish I had a German Shepherd.

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Posted (edited)

14 hours ago, The Night Watcher said:

I wish I had a German Shepherd.

Granted you now have a German. Shepherd.

I wish for the ability to do math problems quickly.

Edited by Karger
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23 hours ago, Karger said:

Granted you now have a German. Shepherd.

I wish for the ability to do math problems quickly.

Granted but they are always incorrect 

I wish to never age 

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Granted, you suddenly become 87, so now you’re permanently yelling at people to get off your lawn. 

 

I wish for The Last Jedi to get a better score on Rotten Tomatoes.

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Granted. Nuff said.

I wish that I was an adult.

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Posted (edited)

Granted. Now you get to pay your own rent, utilities, taxes, do your own laundry, get your own job, take responsibility for own actions, pay for gas and a car loan, pay for your own internet, buy your own furniture, pay for your own phone, deal with idiots at work, be alone and have no one to talk to, you won’t be able to ask your parents how to ask the girl out, take care of your parents, pay a lot of money for your gf’s date, (If your lucky enough) have a family, become jealous of your friends at there happy life’s, try and get a job that actually pays well, finish your college degree, work at a minimum job because your a broke college student, pay for your own clothes, work at a boring desk job, pay for your own vacations, have no one to drive you around, complain about stuff, have baby boomers make fun of you, having the responsibility of voting, hangovers, moving, annoying neighbors, annoying drivers, having to move out, (then back in) living with your parents, helping them with technology, having a mental break down, having mid-life crisis, getting underpaid and overworked, your boss is a total jerk, your co-workers are also jerks, having to worry about your health, exercising and dieting because your metabolisms stopped working…do you want me to go on?

 

I wish to stop getting ninja’d. 

Edited by BringerofShadows
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Posted (edited)

Granted. But now nobody will reply back when you text them  

I wish for a credit card with all the money I could want on it. 

Edited by BookishOcelot
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