Eluvianii Posted February 25, 2019 Report Share Posted February 25, 2019 Granted, but you get fired immediately and after word spreads out you are banned from all bookstores so you can never buy his books again. I wish my writing abilities were on par with Sanderson's. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jetter Posted February 25, 2019 Report Share Posted February 25, 2019 10 hours ago, Eluvianii said: Granted, but you get fired immediately and after word spreads out you are banned from all bookstores so you can never buy his books again. I wish my writing abilities were on par with Sanderson's. Granted, but your internet is now so slow you cannot read or post anything more than a paragraph in an hour. slow internet is worse than no internet. I wish to win the lottery! 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Night Watcher Posted February 25, 2019 Report Share Posted February 25, 2019 Granted. You win $10 off a scratchcard. I wish I could get a spoon out of the cabinet before my cereal gets soggy. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BringerofShadows Posted February 25, 2019 Report Share Posted February 25, 2019 Granted, but the cereal becomes brick solid. I wish to go to a rock concert. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
beantheboy12 Posted February 25, 2019 Report Share Posted February 25, 2019 Granted. It’s watching Numuhukumakiaki’aialunamor cook I wish I could win the day 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lunamor Posted February 25, 2019 Report Share Posted February 25, 2019 (edited) 11 minutes ago, beantheboy12 said: Granted. It’s watching Numuhukumakiaki’aialunamor cook Hey! This thing, he is very entertaining! Granted, you win “The Day”, a copy of a boring newspaper that summarizes the events of the day. I wish for perfect grammar skillz. Edited February 25, 2019 by Lunamor 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vogelsang Posted February 26, 2019 Report Share Posted February 26, 2019 Granted! You now have an annoying tendency to correct everyone around you for their far inferior grammar. I wish I wouldn't run out of upvotes to give. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lunamor Posted February 26, 2019 Report Share Posted February 26, 2019 (edited) 2 minutes ago, P's and Q's said: Granted! You now have an annoying tendency to correct everyone around you for their far inferior grammar. I already do that. Granted, but you lose all upvotes currently on your posts and any they may receive in the future. I wish for an infinite, clean source of energy. Edited February 26, 2019 by Lunamor 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vogelsang Posted February 26, 2019 Report Share Posted February 26, 2019 Just now, Lunamor said: I already do that. Granted, but you lose all of your upvotes and any you may receive in the future. I wish for an infinite, clean source of energy. The price of generosity I guess. Granted, but you lose a bit of your identity every time someone uses your new infinite clean source of energy to charge their phone. I wish for an regenerating slice of pepperoni and sausage pizza. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Merlin Posted February 26, 2019 Report Share Posted February 26, 2019 Granted. It's so greasy you choke on it with every bite. I wish for my brother to stop pestering me. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eluvianii Posted February 26, 2019 Report Share Posted February 26, 2019 Granted, you never had a brother in the first place. I wish for an infinite dotation of peanuts and chocolates. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BringerofShadows Posted February 26, 2019 Report Share Posted February 26, 2019 Granted, but you don’t live forever to eat them all. I wish for the weekend to last forever. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Night Watcher Posted February 26, 2019 Report Share Posted February 26, 2019 2 minutes ago, BringerofShadows said: Granted, but you don’t live forever to eat them all. I wish for the weekend to last forever. Granted, but one Saturday you drink 3 cases of beer and you never wake to see the following Saturday morning. I wish my professor didn't have an accent. Then maybe I could take notes. Or even understand what he's saying when he scolds me for not taking notes. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vogelsang Posted February 26, 2019 Report Share Posted February 26, 2019 Granted, but now he has a long illustrious bright purple mullet, accompanied by a clashing puke green mustache. I wish I could speak German fluently. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sherlock Holmes Posted February 26, 2019 Report Share Posted February 26, 2019 Granted. You can now speak German, but you always have an itch in your right ear. I wish that people stopped caring about whether a person was straight or not. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Night Watcher Posted February 26, 2019 Report Share Posted February 26, 2019 1 hour ago, Sherlock Holmes said: Granted. You can now speak German, but you always have an itch in your right ear. I wish that people stopped caring about whether a person was straight or not. Granted, but something has to fill the empty hetero- hole. (That's not innuendo.) So now people care if you can grow a beard or not. First, it's in the media, then it's bullying in schools. Suddenly, beard bars start popping up all over the world, and the beardless are denied access. Bolstered by women and men forever trapped in pubescence, protests and rallies form, but, alas, the bearded regime crushes them, and with the enforced breeding — ahem bearding ahem — programs, beardless numbers begin to dwindle. I wish I had better things to do with my life than write stupid beard puns in a forum of well-mannered, educated people. 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Winds Alight Posted February 26, 2019 Report Share Posted February 26, 2019 Granted. Everyone else feels the urge to tell you stupid beard puns. I wish for customers in retail to just ... be less stupid. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Quantus Posted February 26, 2019 Report Share Posted February 26, 2019 Granted. They are all now insufferable know-it-all's I wish for a relaxing vacation. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BringerofShadows Posted February 26, 2019 Report Share Posted February 26, 2019 Granted. You get a relaxing vacation in Antarctica. I wish to die a slow and painful death. Alone. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheGirlWhoLookedUp Posted February 26, 2019 Report Share Posted February 26, 2019 Granted, you become an Elantrian, then a Hoed. Slowly and painfully. You get beheaded before Elantris is restored. I wish I could sing well. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Merlin Posted February 26, 2019 Report Share Posted February 26, 2019 Granted. You sing so well and so high it deafens you and mutes you the first time you try. I wish for tasty food without maggots. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zephrun’s Imperium Posted February 27, 2019 Report Share Posted February 27, 2019 Granted. Hope you like chull dung. I wish for this week to be over... 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Night Watcher Posted February 27, 2019 Report Share Posted February 27, 2019 2 hours ago, Shard of Thought said: Granted. Hope you like chull dung. I wish for this week to be over... Granted. In 3 days. I want to play Dragon Age. I wish I still had the motivation to wait the 4 minutes it takes to boot my spaceship-esque P.C. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kelsier'sGodComplex Posted February 27, 2019 Report Share Posted February 27, 2019 Granted, but you also have motivation to stop playing the game. I wish for a pet tiger who is nice to everyone except people who are tryng to attack me. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Night Watcher Posted February 27, 2019 Report Share Posted February 27, 2019 18 minutes ago, Kelsier'sGodComplex said: Granted, but you also have motivation to stop playing the game. I wish for a pet tiger who is nice to everyone except people who are tryng to attack me. Sure, but your tiger is senile and often mistakes one person for another. Specifically your mother for your awful ex. I wish for a golden egg. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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