killersquirrel59

Nightwatcher Boon/Bane (Game)

6,886 posts in this topic

Granted, but each consciousness is bitter rivals with the rest, resulting in infighting that is highly distracting and prevents any two working together.

I wish that I had the ability to view and interpret the emotions of anyone I choose.

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Granted, but everytime you do this, you are struck with an incomprehensible stutter for the next 10 minutes.

I wish to be able to speak clearly and not have my stutter.

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Granted. However you speak ancient Sumerian, a language nobody living understands.

I wish to be able to forget all the inadvertant spoilers I've heard for the anime I'm currently watching with my friend in Sweden.

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Granted you are automatically spoiled by all future anime's instead apart from that one anime you wished to forget.

I wish for all the time in the world to have fun while still able to do all the responsibilities without problems.

Edited by goody153
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Granted. However, to balance this out, our alternate universes become desolate, miserable, and utterly devoid of purple balloons. They eventually die out, the conditions too dreary for human life, in order to balance out our prosperity.

I wish for sparkly beads to follow behind my footsteps like a snake.

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Granted, but the beads are made of plastic and don't biodegrade, and they slowly fill up the oceans.

 

I wish for plastic to be biodegradable.

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28 minutes ago, Ishar said:

Granted, but the beads are made of plastic and don't biodegrade, and they slowly fill up the oceans.

 

I wish for plastic to be biodegradable.

Granted but suddenly everything went into role reversal, everything biodegradable became none-biodegradable and vice versa. The thought of none-digestible food strikes you fear but at least the thought of clothes also slowly experiencing entropy is an exciting notion.

I wish for me to become the Herald of the Sticks

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Granted, but because of this the only thought that is capable of passing through your mind is "I am a stick" while the Void Bringer torture you until you begin to think "Am I a stick?"

 

I wish for something new to replace "I am a stick" that the 17th shard can overly obsess about.

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Granted. "NO MATING." becomes the new Sandermeme.

I wish for Pattern and Syl to have a loud, public argument over the virtues and taboos of mating, with suggestions from each on positions etc.

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Granted, but you have to watch the entire thing.

 

I wish somebody else to make a wish for me.

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Granted, but it's a terrible wish that means benefits you little, while you spend the rest of your life unable to do any action unless another person confirms that you are permitted to do so.

I wish for the ability to Invest according to all the magic systems.

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Granted. however, by a strange conundrum of bad luck and counterproductive magic working against you, you never come in contact with any form of investiture to use.

I wish tomatoes came cubed.

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On 6/14/2018 at 10:53 AM, Apollyon said:

I wish for @Mistspren to actually give a eulogy at my funeral, puns or not.

 

On 6/17/2018 at 6:15 PM, AonEne said:

Granted. It's amazing. However, you have to write this eulogy, and then post it on this thread once you're done (in your next post, preferably) . Have fun...I know I will, reading it.

I wish for this eulogy to have puns.

I meant this, not just any old eulogy.

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Granted. Your tomatoes are cubed, but you forever smell like rotten tomatoes. 

I wish Kaladin could no longer have PTSD or Depression.

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Granted. However, you're the one who has to give him his therapy, and personally try and find the proper combination of chemicals and medicines that may help him.

I wish that Kaladin, Adolin, and Shallan would end up in a polyamourous relationship together.

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Granted but suddenly for some unknowable reason the entire Roshar band together and made it first priority to stop the polyamourous relationship that the 3 has with any means necessary too. Even Odium and Cultivation raised a ceasefire just for this reason

I wish Vasher and Vivenna will meet up again, get married and leave their current location to live happily ever after

Edited by goody153
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2 hours ago, goody153 said:

I wish Vasher and Vivenna will meet up again, get married and leave their current location to live happily ever after

The Nightwatcher nods and says "Grant-" before she's interrupted.

"No," says a grumpy voice from behind you.  You turn around and see Vasher scowling at you.  "I'm not getting married."  He turns on his heel and stomps away, muttering under his breath, "17th Sharders, who do they think they are?  Makes me eat the wrong flower..."

After a moment of awkward silence, the Nightwatcher looks at you and shrugs.  "Sorry.  There's only so much I can do when dealing with someone that grouchy."


I wish for a jellybean!

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4 hours ago, Zath said:

I wish for a jellybean!

"A....jellybean." The Nightwatcher says flatly. "All of my powers, the ability to make you loved, respected, wealthy.... and you wish for a jellybean."

Seeing your happily smiling face, she sighs, just making your pleasure at having found a boon that even she couldn't twist with a bane increase. Though you are almost prepared for the jellybean to be the size of a boat and crush you, or something similarly nonsensical. It almost seemed like the Nightwatcher was getting more and more creative with her banes just to be unexpected rather than thematic or ironic...

"Very well..." she says, a swirling ripple of mist, dark as a moonless night, leaving her form. It spiralls in front of you as it gets closer to your face, specks of light within it glowing and twinkling brighter and brighter.

Finally, with a small flash of light, the mist finishes condensing and shaping, becoming a small, brightly coloured box that seems vaguely familiar. The top of the box opens, revealing brightly coloured and patterned beans that look tantalisingly tasty.

You hesitate as you look at the beans. You only wished for one. This was too easy, surely... Glancing at the Nightwatcher, she motions for you to take a bean, to choose your prize, her little hands making plucking motions with fingers and thumbs.

Slowly, you reach into the box, half expecting the jelly to spread across your fingers and encase your hand and whole body, turning you into a jellybean yourself. Or perhaps growinto some kind of jelly beanstalk, perhaps from your stomach itself... When your finger finally makes contact with the soft material of the bean on top, you flinch, and from the corner of your eye you can see the Nightwatcher rolling her eyes. How curiously human...

Emboldened by your lack of consequences thus far, you breathe a sigh of relief, chuckling to yourself at your worrying. It seems that for such a mundane request, a waste of her time, the Nightwatcher just wanted you to pick your bean and be done with it. Or maybe she just couldn't think of a way to twist it with a bane... Whatever the case, you relax visibly, plucking a particularly tasty looking golden bean from the pile and pop it into your mouth.

Of course, this could still backfire somehow. Maybe this would turn your mouth, eyes or skin golden... Though that might be rather cool. There was always a chance the bane would be unintendedly beneficial... Though it could always give you foul breath. Possibly permanantly.

You hesitate. Another glance at the impatient Nightwatcher makes you sigh through your nose as you hold the bean between your teeth. Well, it wasn't going to get any better putting it off, and all this worrying was going to give you a headache... or possibly an ulcer. Maybe that was the Nightwatcher's bane, making you paranoid?

Steeling yourself, you just go with it and chomp down on the bean, squishing the jelly in your mouth with the chew and spreading the taste across your tongue, filling your mouth with flavour.

Your eyes widen, then brim with tears as you gag and retch, spitting the remnants of the bean out with a cough. "BLECH! Ugh!"

The Nightwatcher just watches you drop to your knees with a smug smirk as the box of beans floats over to herself, and one of her hands plucks a bean out for herself, each hand passing it to the next towards her mouth as she watches you and gives a happy chuckle.

"Alas, earwax."

 

-------------------------------------------------

I wish for a sword I can summon like a Shardblade

Edited by ScarletSabre
Forgot my wish.... XD
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@ScarletSabre , that was awesome :)

I don't know what to say after that. Anything I say will be lame in comparison.

Well, here goes nothing.

Granted. Although your sword is similar to Shardblades in that it can be summoned, it is the complete opposite of said Shardblade in everything else. The edges are dull and a centimeter wide, the handle is uncomfortable and tiny, the blade measures about a foot and a half long, but despite the size, the sword is multiple tons in weight. It is innefectly made, and it is obvious that a single swing will separate the blade from the handle.

I wish for time. Plain and simple.

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The Nightwatcher looks at you and says you already have 24 hours a day or whatever amount of time Roshar has a day.  She does not give you anything else and so you don’t get any banes.

I wish for more meals that my sister can eat.  She’s on a narrow diet, so the food and get repetitive.

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Granted. However, as a bane, you have to go on the same diet.

 

 

I wish that people would call me BitKip.

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@Gancho Libre , glad you liked it! ^_^ Haha, it sparked a quick little something from me while I was at work ~

12 hours ago, BitBitio the Mudkip said:

I wish that people would call me BitKip.

Granted. However, this is what everyone calls you from now on, including yourself. You have to introduce yourself at parties and job interviews as BitKip, get business cards and driving licences with it as your name, and never even be allowed a nickname. Hopefully it won't wear on you!

I wish I had 3D Maneouver Gear with an unlimited supply of gas.

Edited by ScarletSabre
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Granted. However, it is model gear so it doesnt actually work.

 

 

 

I wish to no longer be called BitKip.

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12 hours ago, BitBitio the Mudkip said:

I wish to no longer be called BitKip.

Granted. Now nobody ever calls you anything other than "that guy", "you", or other equally vague terms. Even you slowly start to forget your name. By the time you die, the only thing on your grave is "That Guy. We don't know their actual name anymore. Or their usernames or anything. ??? - ???"

 

I wish people who should know better, pretentious know-it-alls who actually don't know anything, and just plain historically ignorant people would just stop associating the German Empire with the Nazi party.

Yes, I did have an argument with a guy who thought that. He didn't know what the Schlieffen Plan was, and thought that the German Empire had been around since the 1700s "at least", but the Dunning-Kruger Effect was in full swing, and he just wouldn't shut up about it.

Sorry for ranting, it's just... geez... we can always dream, right?

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Granted, but from now on, this is what people will think the 19th and 20th centuries were like (in the form of a puppet show with too many characters):

Otto von Bismarck: *realpolitikin’ to Highschool Musical* We’re alllll in this together!

Kaiser Wilhelm II: Thanks mate. Plot twist time! You’re fired.

Otto: Whaaaaaaaaa?

Kaiser: *misses his dinner with Russia so Russia goes to hang out with France* Who’s up for an arms race? *starts Weltpolitikin’*

Schlieffen: The French have a big wall! But we can go around it and take Paris!

Kaiser: Lets go! *German armies conquer Belgium – slowly*

BEF: Now see here, chaps! We were in the neighbourhood and we just thought we’d drop in to see – GOOD GRIEF! GERMANY, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

German military officers: *in France* Let’s attack Paris!

Alexander von Kluck: This is too easy…*Kluck chickens out*

World: *fights* *Allies win* *Central powers lose*

German people: Ummm, are you sure we lost?

Hitler: No! We were cheated!

Nazi party: *rises*

League of Nations: Please stop. Oh, you’re not stopping. Um. Well then.

World: Here we go again. *fights*

America: I GOT THIS.

 

For my wish, I would like to be able to CTRL+Z my actions in real life

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