Nightwatcher Boon/Bane (Game)

[ScarletSabre]

Granted, however the chap you win it with is a sadist with a particular sense of irony, and has you thrown down a chute and tries to beat you to death with a ladder as you finish sliding. Poor sportsmanship, that.

I wish to have a 360 degree range of vision.

[Gancho Libre]

Granted, but you have terrible fucus, as you happen to no longer have pupils. huh.

anyway, i wish to command the infinite forces of the congo.

[+ElephantEarwax]

Granted. But you fall to the east now.

I wish for a cord of pre chopped wood, so I may be warm for the winter.

[Gancho Libre]

granted. but anyone affiliated with the Church of the Sticks or the sticknaughts rebells and stabbs you through with the One stick.

I wish for upvotes!

[Zath]

1 hour ago, Gancho Libre said:

I wish for upvotes!

Granted!  Your bane is that to receive them, you must make upvote-worthy posts.  

You frown at the Nightwatcher, and she shrugs. "Hey, do you have any idea what the 17th Shard Admins would do to me if I messed around with their upvote system? They'd turn me into a rotting chasmfiend carcass with that omnipotent banhammer of theirs..."

I wish for a glow-stick. Neon blue, please. 

[Kidpen]

Granted. You get a glow-stick. In fact, you get THE glow-stick. The one coveted by all. You are constantly hunted by anyone you meet, and everyone you don't. They are all coming at you in an attempt to get the glow-stick. Unfortunately, the glow-stick will never leave you until you die. it is neon blue though.

@Apollyon You were the one who wanted to know of the commands or whatever it was of the awakened objects, right? If so, this is post 2/3

I wish I knew the answer to the above question.

[Apollyon]

Yes, my question was the command to Hoid's Awakened boxer shorts which are stuck on my head and own all the Instant Noodle shops in the Cosmere.

Your bane is that you must still tell me what the command is on your 3rd post.

I wish for a flaming ant that won't kill me directly or indirectly.

[ScarletSabre]

Granted, however your ant is protective of you, and will set fire to anyone who comes within three feet of you without making a proper offering to it first, and it makes it damnably difficult to sleep at night with how brightly it glows and flickers.

I wish for the power to create ice from my hands as I please.

[Gancho Libre]

Granted. however, because of the porous structure of your hands, the ice cream is melted so it is able to seep through. And if you ever spend too much time in a cold place, and you attempt to summon ice cream, your hands will be pulled apart from the solid structure as it tries to come through.

I wish to win a spelling bee. While holding an actual bee's hive over my head without being hurt in any way.

[Apollyon]

Granted, but the judges don’t like the beehive and throw a trophy at it, causing bees to swarm everywhere and stinging anything that breathes minus you. The judges grudgingly hand over the now broken trophy whilst covered in bee stings.

I wish that my high school would do spelling bees.

[+ElephantEarwax]

Granted, but the only word is bee.

I wish for a piece of chocolate cake.

[Gancho Libre]

granted. you get a peice. meaning, a small crumb.

I wish for the nightwatcher to grant me a wish.

[Apollyon]

Granted. She grants that one. 

I wish for three chihuahuas that dislike onions.

[Rebecca]

Granted. They instead enjoy eating shoes. Have fun with that one.

I wish for 1,000 feet of ribbon.

[Jehoiada]

Granted, but it always doesn't match the stuff you want it to be on.

I wish that everything shiped would come within the hour of purchase, free of charge.

Edited May 31, 2018 by Jehoiada

[Apollyon]

Granted, but unfortunately, every time you order something you must move 500 miles away instantly. Your belongings come with you, but the things you ordered will never be yours. You have to purchase things manually and with cost forever.

I wish for three additional chihuahuas that like onions, contrary to my previous post.

[Gancho Libre]

Granted. They, from here on out, smell bad.

I wish for three chihuahuas that eat computer viruses.

And nothing else.

[Slimy_Slider]

Granted, your Chihuahuas keep your computer safe from harm.

Unfortunately, every computer virus they eat is excreted as a real-life virus.

 

I wish that I could come up with an original and inspired Cosmere theory.

[Jehoiada]

Granted, you make a wonderfull cosmere theory that no ones ever thought of, you spend hours even days writing it up it's so amazing, but when you post it no one ever sees it.

I wish for amazing writing abilities.

[AonEne]

Granted. You now have the writing abilities of Zath, Mistspren, and Brandon Sanderson COMBINED.

However, you must say one of these three specific inside jokes in every bane you give on this thread: Flashback Girl, Roman Torchwick's Ghost, and/or Pasta. It can be minor, or even have nothing to do with the bane. But it must be there.

I wish for Cinder to...no, that's a spoiler...I wish Pyrrha...nope, hmm...I WANT MY CHRISTMASTREE, CRWBY! ... uhm...

I wish to have a loving home for my elderly rabbird, Ink. Not to be confused with Inklingspren. Check my profile for a pic.

[Kidpen]

Granted. However, Ink turns into ink.

@Apollyon the command is this: “have an anticlimactic command”. 

I wish Apollyon enjoyed the above joke.

Edited June 1, 2018 by Kidpen

[AonEne]

(I don't wanna godmod, if that term applies here)

But hey, I enjoy it. If that means anything.

Also, ha! You turned ink into ink, but you never turned Ink into ink! Grammar wins again!

So whose loving home is it?

[Kidpen]

1 hour ago, AonEne said:

(I don't wanna godmod, if that term applies here)

But hey, I enjoy it. If that means anything.

Also, ha! You turned ink into ink, but you never turned Ink into ink! Grammar wins again!

So whose loving home is it?

Fixed

[Apollyon]

@Kidpen, granted. But on one condition; it was particularly anticlimactic. I was hoping for something like “enlighten me”.

I wish that everyone would find a particular show that exists on YT and watch it. Then we would all split off into sides, Arkos and Lancaster; in a great civil war to save (and/or end) humanity.

[AonEne]

Granted.

After years of struggle, there was a fateful night when Lancaster was besieged on a second front by ChristmasTree, and lo, it fell. Arkos and ChristmasTree - the latter also known as RoseGarden - forged an alliance.

Many years later, after [REDACTED], Arkos went to war again; this time without CT/RG at its side. It battled now with White Knight, after such had just defeated Weitune/Iceberg. To this day, the war between WK and Arkos still goes on. But a winner is beginning to emerge, to the shock and horror of many. What terrible wars you have set upon this Earth.

I wish we had the full version of Smile already, because it's taking too storming long.