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Nightwatcher Boon/Bane (Game)


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Granted, but you are so articulate that no one ever wants to speak to you because of your lack of flaws.

I wish to have the original copy of Lightsong’s painting, The Battle at Twilight Falls, for myself to admire and appreciate the beautiful description that Lightsong the Bold gives.

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Wow server lag. 

Granted, But it is in colours and images you cannot comprehend, for thousands and thousands of years have past, culture shifting, dying. This is all that remains

 

I wish i didnt have lag. 

Edited by Xtafa
laggggg
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1 minute ago, Xtafa said:

Granted; however, when swapping spikes you aimed poorly, landing onto your cat. You are now a mistwraith full of cat bones.

I wish I had regenerative capabilities 

Er... dare I ask which post this was in response to?

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@Apollyon xD someone wanting to be a Kandra 5 hours ago

Heres yours

 

Granted, But it is in colours and images you cannot comprehend, for thousands and thousands of years have past, culture shifting, dying. This is all that remains

 

I wish i didnt have lag. 

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Granted, now everyone else has lag, so effectively the internet is a seldom used pile of misshapen chaos.

I wish to have a list of everyone who has taken up the shard Cultivation thanks to this thread.

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2 minutes ago, Jehoiada said:

I wish to live on each inhabited cosmere planet for six months each.

Granted: you get to live on each planet for 6 months each but every time you switch planets you wake up on the new one with amnesia and have NO clue who you are or where you're from.

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1 minute ago, 1st of Lunch said:

Granted: you get to live on each planet for 6 months each but every time you switch planets you wake up on the new one with amnesia and have NO clue who you are or where you're from.

Good one but you forgot to wish

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22 minutes ago, Apollyon said:

I wish to have a list of everyone who has taken up the shard Cultivation thanks to this t

The Nightwatcher hands you a piece of paper and a pencil. After you finish the 15 minute project of compiling your list while looking through this thread, she then turns you into a pinkish colored hat. It's a very special type of hat, with two round protrusions on the bowl of the hat, that pinch inwards towards the center. The hat evokes the rosy buttocks of cherubs seen in Rococo paintings.

Then she turns to Cultivation and says "What an a□□ hat"

I wish that I got this in before @Jehoiada and @1st of Lunch too...

 

3 minutes ago, Jehoiada said:

I wish to live on each inhabited cosmere planet for six months each.

Granted, unfortunately your wish brings obnoxious tourists in a massive scale, and pretty soon everyone's smuggling spren off planet or getting aluminum canteens filled with shardpool water. Pretty soon there's no more investiture on any of the Invested worlds, but Disney does open a Cosmere them park and it's pretty epic.

I wish I could type faster on my phone.

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27 minutes ago, 1st of Lunch said:

I wish I knew how to forum...

(Cant believe I forgot the stupid wish!)

Granted, you're doing great. Have an upvote.

I wish that @Apollyon knows that the boon granted above was in no way directed at him personally, and that it really was just about the idea of opening yourself up for an unknown bane for a boon that was easily accomplished without magical intervention, and the Nightwatcher's reaction to the aforementioned (on re-reading it, it sounded a bit harsh). Oh and I also wish for a flying monkey familiar that likes to play cribbage and who wouldn't mind carrying my groceries in from the car.

Edited by hoiditthroughthegrapevine
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3 hours ago, hoiditthroughthegrapevine said:

Oh and I also wish for a flying monkey familiar that likes to play cribbage and who wouldn't mind carrying my groceries in from the car.

 

Granted but his grasp on the english language is horrible, he plays with a Cabbage, this backfires on you when he unleashed a cabbage P O O T into your vehicle upon depositing your groceries. This scent lingers on you, wafting around you until the day you die, it pushes away all your friends and family, you are jobless.. however, you still have your Monkey friend. 

 

I wish for a delicious pork roast. 

Edited by Xtafa
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2 hours ago, Xtafa said:

I wish for a delicious pork roast. 

Granted, but Odium loves pork roast, so he moves out of Roshar and makes a desolation on Earth before you can eat your pork roast. You are cornered by Fused warriors, and told to give up the pork roast or die. What a choice, eh?

 

I wish I had the powers of all of the magical traditions in Desolation but would only get 1/10 of the burn.

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12 hours ago, The Allomantic Metalhead said:

I wish I had the powers of all of the magical traditions in Desolation but would only get 1/10 of the burn.

"You wish for the powers that have caused Desolations?  You wish to be the scourge of Roshar?!" the Nightwatcher demands.  "Denied!  Instead, you shall suffer in torment for eternity--" then the Nightwatcher actually clicks on your link. "Oh. You meant that Desolation.  Very well."

You are granted all the magical powers and are known throughout the land of Scondera as the "Unnatural, Not-Evil Necromancer of The Fellowship of the Father's Fury."  You receive only 1/10 of the burn.  Unfortunately, the Nightwatcher defines "1/10 of the burn" as the eternal hatred of 1/10 of Scondera's pre-apocalypse population.  The 90% who didn't hate you were killed in The Night of Fire.  This means that everyone left alive would love to see you ripped to shreds, even though your Necromancy is certifiably "Non-Evil."  Good thing you have all those magical powers to defend yourself with, eh?

I wish to see the future. (I'm opening a can of worms on this one, aren't I?)

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Granted. However, what you see disturbs you. You see, all that will happen for the rest of eternity is every person on Earth constantly opening infinity cans of worms. You, seeing your own future, are bound to join them. Have fun!

I wish for a single can of worms.

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13 minutes ago, Kidpen said:

Granted. However, what you see disturbs you. You see, all that will happen for the rest of eternity is every person on Earth constantly opening infinity cans of worms. You, seeing your own future, are bound to join them. Have fun!

Ha!  Well played. In retrospect, I really should have seen that coming. (..."seen that coming."  Get it? <giggles like a 5-year-old after a dumb "knock, knock" joke>  That's seer humor, right there ;))

16 minutes ago, Kidpen said:

I wish for a single can of worms.

Granted.  You get a single can of worms.  It's always on eHarmony and Match.com, looking for love.  It finally finds a nice, compassionate fishing pole and they settle down, eager to start a new life together.  Then you're like, "Wait, this is really weird.  A can of worms and a fishing pole?  You're both inanimate objects -- how can you feel anything, let alone love?"  The romance dies, and the can of worms becomes single again.  It blames you, and you can never eat spaghetti again for fear of finding a non-noodle on your plate.

I wish for limited cosmic power!

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Granted, but the Type IV awakened sword is incredibly immature, and every time you attempt to use it, it repeats "Odium rains", giggling like a maniac.

"Odium rains - get it? Like rain? Falling from the sky? The Everstorm is of Odium. The Everstorm has rain in it. So, Odium rains. Heeheehee... I'm so funny... Heeheehee... Get it? Get it?" it crows, and you get the impression that if the sword had been a person, it would be doubled over with laughter.

Worst of all, when you unsheathe it for the first time, it consumes your burrito before you can eat it, because matter and Investiture are the same thing. You didn't even get a bite. Of course, immediately afterwards it consumes you as well, while crying "Odium RAINS. RAINS! HEEHEEHEE, HAHAHA, HA HAAAA! I'm hilarious! Heeheehee... heh...heh..." The sword realizes it is now alone and is crushingly sad that nobody is here to laugh with it.

I wish the sword could meet Nightblood so it would no longer be lonely.

Edited by Mistspren
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29 minutes ago, Apollyon said:

I wish that my awakened koloss blade was the second most invested object in the Cosmere!

Granted. Unbeknownst to you, your Koloss blade, named The Pun-isher (due to its proclivity for bad puns) has been using the Internet behind your back to channel your savings into speculative positions in the Rosharan, Scadrian, and Nalthan futures markets.

With a portfolio of dubious investments that spans 3 shardworlds, your sword is now the 2nd most "invested" object in the cosmere, right behind an awakened paperweight in Silver light that owns and manages a booming chain of Ramen noodle joints on 4 sub-astrals called the Soul of the Noodle.

Your bane is that Pun-isher's mind is much duller than his blade, and you now owe quite a bit of money to the ghostbloods.

 

Ninja'd by @Xtafa...

3 minutes ago, Xtafa said:

I wish for a perfect gemstone, the size of my fist.

 The Nightwatcher hands you a gemstone glowing with a strangely dark purple light and then makes you swallow it.

For the next 2 hours you are master of every surge, the multitudinous powers of creation are yours to control. After sculpting a statue of yourself out of basalt like it was clay, lashing yourself into the upper reaches of the atmosphere, and sliding down a hill with super slick legs, what's left of your body collapses into an immobile heap. And Yelig-nar's gem stone still glows faintly with its eery purplish light. 

I wish that T-Rex's could fly, and that instead of like birds, they retained their cute little arms with 3 fingers and had separate wings.

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