Nightwatcher Boon/Bane (Game)

[theRoyalDingus]

Dividing by zero is indeed completely ok, if you don't care about finding an answer. Because multiplying by zero destroys information (1*0 = 0, 129376*0 = 0 -123*0=0), you can't undo this process by creating information out of nothing (cause you know, dividing supposed's to undo multiplication). Point is, you can still do it. I think it's useful in proofs occasionally in modular arithmetic and number theory. (maybe elsewhere too)

7 hours ago, Zennix said:

Boon: The Nightwatcher grants you a free session with a Psychiatrist.

Bane: The Nightwatcher decides that your current state of your mental health is punishment enough for you. So, she takes pity on you and personally accompany so that you won't hurt yourself.

I wish to become an immortal worldhopper. 

You become an immortal worldhopper. However, that's the only thing you are. You can't walk anywhere now - you have to use your skills. You need a constant supply of Investiture, and you are never able to even move around for the simplest of tasks.

I wish I could be reverse Lift: Absorb Investiture, and then turn it into food.

[+Hoiditthroughthegrapevine]

2 hours ago, theRoyalDingus said:

I wish I could be reverse Lift: Absorb Investiture, and then turn it into food.

Granted, your new name is Chiri Chiri and you're a larkin. You get to live on some nicely potted shinovar grass, and your budy Rysn gives you quite a few spheres to drain a day.

I wish that I could travel to the future, say 150 years, and see the Royal Philharmonic Orchestra (which in the future will be a geosynchronous low space orbit concert venue) perform some classic music. I would wish specifically to see the full orchestra rendition of "More than a Woman" by the Bee Gees.

Edited February 14, 2018 by hoiditthroughthegrapevine

[Lord Mistborn Bondbreaker]

9 hours ago, hoiditthroughthegrapevine said:

Granted, your new name is Chiri Chiri and you're a larkin. You get to live on some nicely potted shinovar grass, and your budy Rysn gives you quite a few spheres to drain a day.

I wish that I could travel to the future, say 150 years, and see the Royal Philharmonic Orchestra (which in the future will be a geosynchronous low space orbit concert venue) perform some classic music. I would wish specifically to see the full orchestra rendition of "More than a Woman" by the Bee Gees.

Granted, however after visiting the future you must return and watch the Twilight Trilogy over over and over again for eternity. (You will never die)

I wish that I was a Fullbinder.

[+ElephantEarwax]

13 hours ago, Lord Mistborn Skybreaker said:

Granted, however after visiting the future you must return and watch the Twilight Trilogy over over and over again for eternity. (You will never die)

I wish that I was a Fullbinder.

Granted. You have bonded (Maybe OB spoiler)

Spoiler

Yelig-Nar

You must avoid being consumed.

I wish for a train set.

[DrakeMarshall]

2 hours ago, ElephantEarwax said:

Granted. You have bonded (Maybe OB spoiler)

  Hide contents

Yelig-Nar

You must avoid being consumed.

I wish for a train set.

Granted. You are transported onto an infinite railway network, onboard a beautiful train, and it all belongs to you. Onboard the train is pretty much everything you need to lead a good life, including a complete signed collection of the cosmere books.

Unfortunately, the train never stops and you may not exit it. Every hour you encounter a trolley question scenario on the tracks. Have fun solving ethical dilemmas for the rest of eternity.

 

I wish for a combustible lemon. Preferably one that will not combust in my face or anything of that sort.

[GeneralHZRD]

Granted, but you have no control over when it will combust, so you live your life in constant worry.

 

I wish for exactly 263.5 TicTacs.

[Nathrangking]

6 minutes ago, TheVillageIdiot said:

I wish for exactly 263.5 TicTacs.

Granted. You now have 263.5 tics shaped like tacks that nest in your body.

I call upon the power of the Nightwatcher to fulfill my boon. I wish to have the power of spiritual adhesion and have complete control of this power and knowledge of how it works. 

[Lord Mistborn Bondbreaker]

4 hours ago, Nathrangking said:

Granted. You now have 263.5 tics shaped like tacks that nest in your body.

I call upon the power of the Nightwatcher to fulfill my boon. I wish to have the power of spiritual adhesion and have complete control of this power and knowledge of how it works. 

Alas, spirtual adhesion is of Honor and the nightwatcher is unable to grant your wish.

I wish that whoever gives me my curse would do so in old English.

Edited February 16, 2018 by Lord Mistborn Skybreaker

[DrakeMarshall]

15 hours ago, Lord Mistborn Skybreaker said:

Alas, spirtual adhesion is of Honor and the nightwatcher is unable to grant your wish.

I wish that whoever gives me my curse would do so in old English.

Cuman hêr forniman êcnes, attraction with pron ðe ic wiergan êower âsettan tôsprecan ðiclîce nêah ealdlic Englisc!

(I do rather hope you meant old English and not middle English)

Warning: Reference inbound: I wish for blessed greased fixed +2 grey dragon scale mail 

[Glaedr Firnen]

On 9/24/2014 at 9:04 AM, Ashiok said:

sure, but you can't breathe air.

 

No School, but same knowledge and recomendations as somebody who has school

1

Granted, but you will have an unbearably strong desire to attend school that can never be fulfilled.

I want to never age.

 

[Zennix]

Granted. You remain a baby for all eternity.

I wish to use everybody that has posted in this thread for my latest Dark Alley project. 

Edited February 18, 2018 by Zennix

[+Hoiditthroughthegrapevine]

30 minutes ago, Zennix said:

I wish to use everybody that has posted in this thread for my latest Dark Alley project. 

Granted! Unfortunately you kind of mumbled when you made your wish, so you show up to your Dark Alley and see you a whole lot of people who look like this:

You're Dark Alley has been turned into a Dork Alley!

I wish that someone would grant @Drake Marshall's wish:

On 2/16/2018 at 9:54 AM, Drake Marshall said:

Warning: Reference inbound: I wish for blessed greased fixed +2 grey dragon scale mail 

I did some initial internet research to try and figure out what this was referring to, but I could tell that I was seeing shallowly and dimly into an arcane sub-world and that I lack the requisite esoteric knowledge to come up with a suitable bane/boon for this one...

[DrakeMarshall]

3 hours ago, hoiditthroughthegrapevine said:

I wish that someone would grant @Drake Marshall's wish:

I did some initial internet research to try and figure out what this was referring to, but I could tell that I was seeing shallowly and dimly into an arcane sub-world and that I lack the requisite esoteric knowledge to come up with a suitable bane/boon for this one...

Terribly sorry. Perhaps I should not have made it so difficult.

To clarify, that is a reference to Nethack, a positively ancient, text-based, DnD style game notorious for being rather complicated and killing players many, many, many times over.

The sort-of joke here is that in vanilla nethack, "blessed greased fixed +2 grey dragon scale mail" is an extremely common first wish.

Edited February 18, 2018 by Drake Marshall

[+Hoiditthroughthegrapevine]

4 hours ago, Drake Marshall said:

Terribly sorry. Perhaps I should not have made it so difficult.

To clarify, that is a reference to Nethack, a positively ancient, text-based, DnD style game notorious for being rather complicated and killing players many, many, many times over.

The sort-of joke here is that in vanilla nethack, "blessed greased fixed +2 grey dragon scale mail" is an extremely common first wish

That's funny, NetHack was the game I thought  you were probably referring to, but the daunting number of forks and other RogueLike games made me think that as an internet dilettante I was out of my depths. But using my cursory and newly acquired knowledge of Nethack, I feel somewhat confident that I can indeed bestow upon you a boon and bane.

So to do this up right:

On 2/16/2018 at 9:54 AM, Drake Marshall said:

Warning: Reference inbound: I wish for blessed greased fixed +2 grey dragon scale mail 

Granted, you now have blessed greased fixed +2 grey dragon scale mail in your inventory, but unfortunately you use an unidentified scroll named "DAIYEN FOOELS" and it asks for an item to apply it to, and you select your recently acquired awesome armor. 

Then you get the following message "Your blessed greased fixed +2 grey dragon scale mail glows for a moment."  and it loses one of it's enchantments and is cursed. Also, your computer that had all of your NetHack saved games on it explodes. Youch.

I wish that the Empire, instead of cloning Jango Fett, would have cloned Frank Zappa instead for their clone army. Holy crap, I would be on the side of the Empire if we had 3+ million frank zappas. The universe would indeed be a strange place.

 

 

[DrakeMarshall]

On 2/18/2018 at 8:26 PM, hoiditthroughthegrapevine said:

Granted, you now have blessed greased fixed +2 grey dragon scale mail in your inventory, but unfortunately you use an unidentified scroll named "DAIYEN FOOELS" and it asks for an item to apply it to, and you select your recently acquired awesome armor. 

Then you get the following message "Your blessed greased fixed +2 grey dragon scale mail glows for a moment."  and it loses one of it's enchantments and is cursed. Also, your computer that had all of your NetHack saved games on it explodes. Youch.

I'll take it. Very well done.  All things considered, you let me off the hook. At least the scroll that backfired in my face wasn't a scroll of genocide.

On 2/18/2018 at 8:26 PM, hoiditthroughthegrapevine said:

I wish that the Empire, instead of cloning Jango Fett, would have cloned Frank Zappa instead for their clone army. Holy crap, I would be on the side of the Empire if we had 3+ million frank zappas. The universe would indeed be a strange place.

Granted. The Empire has an army of Frank Zappa clones instead of Jango Fett clones.

Unfortunately, you may not join the Empire like you stated you would wish to do. Your bane is that you are a sworn enemy of the Empire, and they will never let you join them. The 3+ million Zappaclones are all bent on destroying you.

While you are probably going to end up killed by the Empire, at least you will have an extremely interesting story to tell in the afterlife.

 

I wish for a well filled zincmind with no identity signature.

[Draginon]

18 hours ago, Drake Marshall said:

I'll take it. Very well done.  All things considered, you let me off the hook. At least the scroll that backfired in my face wasn't a scroll of genocide.

Granted. The Empire has an army of Frank Zappa clones instead of Jango Fett clones.

Unfortunately, you may not join the Empire like you stated you would wish to do. Your bane is that you are a sworn enemy of the Empire, and they will never let you join them. The 3+ million Zappaclones are all bent on destroying you.

While you are probably going to end up killed by the Empire, at least you will have an extremely interesting story to tell in the afterlife.

 

I wish for a well filled zincmind with no identity signature.

Granted, but you will never be able to use the zincmind since you'll be deathly allergic to zinc

I wish to be able to read faster

[digitalbusker]

9 hours ago, Draginon said:

Granted, but you will never be able to use the zincmind since you'll be deathly allergic to zinc

I wish to be able to read faster

You can read very quickly indeed, but you forget anything you read after an hour or so.

I wish to wake fully refreshed after a single hour of sleep.

Edited February 22, 2018 by digitalbusker
Forgot my boon!

[Draginon]

1 hour ago, digitalbusker said:

You can read very quickly indeed, but you forget anything you read after an hour or so.

I wish to wake fully refreshed after a single hour of sleep.

You will be refreshed upon waking but shall feel drained within five minutes

 

I wish to be able to visit any fictional world I want

[agigabyte]

Granted, but you are always as low on the metaphorical totem pole as one can be, stuck as the least important, influential, sapient being in that world. 

I wish to never suffer any effects that, by my standards, qualify as negative, from any wish that I make on this page or as part of any game like this. (This is a redux of one from the very first page, hopefully rephrased well enough to avoid bad stuff. 

[Lord Mistborn Bondbreaker]

2 hours ago, agigabyte said:

Granted, but you are always as low on the metaphorical totem pole as one can be, stuck as the least important, influential, sapient being in that world. 

I wish to never suffer any effects that, by my standards, qualify as negative, from any wish that I make on this page or as part of any game like this. (This is a redux of one from the very first page, hopefully rephrased well enough to avoid bad stuff. 

Granted, however you don’t gain anything so what’s the point.

I want the Lopen to become the lord ruler.

[+Hoiditthroughthegrapevine]

7 hours ago, Lord Mistborn Skybreaker said:

Granted, however you don’t gain anything so what’s the point.

I want the Lopen to become the lord ruler.

Granted Gancho. The only negative repercussion of this wish is that everyone has to tell him what a splendid guy he is. Everyday.

Nicely done, the Nightwatcher is impressed, she had been trying to give the Lopen unlimited powers so the world would be a better place but the strictures of the old magic had heretofore prevented her from doing so. But because this was your wish, to achieve balance in the universe you are also given a very painful boil on your backside that makes it impossible for you to sit through the 3 hour speeches that the Lopen gives in celebration of his magnificence and magnanimity daily to an adoring crowd. From the standing room only section you still can and do applaud.

I wish that mercury was non-toxic. It's such a cool freaking metal that it would be nice to be able to check out its properties first hand without fear of death or brain damage.

[agigabyte]

Granted, but you permanently lose the ability to perceive mercury in any form, with any senses (be the ones that a human normally has or ones that are artificially induced), including in pictures, on computer readings, or anything else that could be used as a loophole. This still applies if you somehow change bodies, or you attempt to perceive it through the cognitive or spiritual realms as well.

I wish for the ability to be a perfect minmaxer in all RPGs.

[agigabyte]

13 hours ago, hoiditthroughthegrapevine said:

Granted Gancho. The only negative repercussion of this wish is that everyone has to tell him what a splendid guy he is. Everyday.

Nicely done, the Nightwatcher is impressed, she had been trying to give the Lopen unlimited powers so the world would be a better place but the strictures of the old magic had heretofore prevented her from doing so. But because this was your wish, to achieve balance in the universe you are also given a very painful boil on your backside that makes it impossible for you to sit through the 3 hour speeches that the Lopen gives in celebration of his magnificence and magnanimity daily to an adoring crowd. From the standing room only section you still can and do applaud.

I wish that mercury was non-toxic. It's such a cool freaking metal that it would be nice to be able to check out its properties first hand without fear of death or brain damage.

Granted, but you permanently lose the ability to perceive mercury in any form, with any senses (be the ones that a human normally has or ones that are artificially induced), including in pictures, on computer readings, or anything else that could be used as a loophole. This still applies if you somehow change bodies, or you attempt to perceive it through the cognitive or spiritual realms as well.

I wish for the ability to be a perfect minmaxer in all RPGs.

(Please ignore the previous post; I forgot to quote the post to which I was responding).

[Complexityspren]

Granted, but you will derive no fun from RPGs

I wish for Shalash's honorblade

[theRoyalDingus]

Indeed you are granted this. Unfortunately, you and everyone else were looking for it, and as soon as you find it and it's just everyone else who's looking for it, the everyone elses end up attacking you to get it. You are able to kill the first few hordes, but there are too many, and they are unwilling to compromise. They kill you and take the honorblade from you.

I wish for a turkey. A roasted turkey. And a friend to share it with.