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Nightwatcher Boon/Bane (Game)


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30 minutes ago, Herald Of Justice said:

Because this is not supposed to be a boring game.

Okay, I'll change it:

Okay, you become a fullborn fullbinder, but you're also an epic that is extremely susceptible to the corruption despite having relatively useless powers. You're also violently allergic to everything, can't hold in stormlight for more than a second, have almost no strength (if we were using RPG terms, you'd have a strength score of 1), and can only see in the ultraviolet spectrum, but your powers, despite doing nothing to prevent you from having any of these burdens, do prevent you from dying by conventional means, so you're basically perpetually useless, evil, sick, almost incapable of movement, and unable to see normally, but you can't just be put out of your misery.

 

I wish I had an epic powerset without the corruption.

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4 hours ago, The Allomantic Metalhead said:

Okay, I'll change it:

Okay, you become a fullborn fullbinder, but you're also an epic that is extremely susceptible to the corruption despite having relatively useless powers. You're also violently allergic to everything, can't hold in stormlight for more than a second, have almost no strength (if we were using RPG terms, you'd have a strength score of 1), and can only see in the ultraviolet spectrum, but your powers, despite doing nothing to prevent you from having any of these burdens, do prevent you from dying by conventional means, so you're basically perpetually useless, evil, sick, almost incapable of movement, and unable to see normally, but you can't just be put out of your misery.

 

I wish I had an epic powerset without the corruption.

Granted, but other Epics fear you and will try to capture and kill you.

I wish I was a shapeshifter.

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28 minutes ago, kenod said:

Granted, but other Epics fear you and will try to capture and kill you.

I wish I was a shapeshifter.

Okay, you gain the powers of Nyalhotep, however, you're now basically Nyarlhotep, so you go insane and enjoy spreading chaos, madness, and pain. Congratulations, you're now worse than an epic.

I wish I was an avatar of the elder gods and overlord of chaos. 

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4 hours ago, The Allomantic Metalhead said:

I wish I was an avatar of the elder gods and overlord of chaos. 

Granted. You are an ancient and decrepit avatar who cannot understand the concept of order.

I call upon the powers of the Nightwatcher to fulfill my boon. I wish for my every desire to be fulfilled when I request it.

Edited by Nathrangking
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1 hour ago, Nathrangking said:

Granted. You are an ancient and decrepit avatar who cannot understand the concept of order.

I call upon the powers of the Nightwatcher to fulfill my boon. I wish for my every desire to be fulfilled when I request it.

The nightwatcher laughs at you. "It doesn't work that way, you storming slontze!" she tells you, then makes you an ancient and decrepit avatar who cannot understand order.

I wish that albinism was ten times as common as it currently is.

Edited by The Allomantic Metalhead
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15 hours ago, The Allomantic Metalhead said:

I wish that albinism was ten times as common as it currently is.

Granted a 10th of the human population magically has their pigment drained from their skin and all the new Albinos know that you were the one to bequeath this condition on them.

Unfortunately due to the absorptive nature of 700,000,000 new pigment-less skinned humans more of the radiant heat from the sun is trapped on the surface of the planet, which in turn speeds up global warming which in turn intensifies the radiant heat of the sun. The cycle spirals out of control, until an army of angry sunburned Albinos comes to your door and tears you limb from limb. On the positive side, they are able to use your SPF 50 blood to temporarily block the harsh rays of the sun.

I wish that I had a magical can of pop (the specific type that I like) that I could drink from whenever I wanted to that fufills the following criteria:

  1. Never runs out of pop
  2. The pop is always perfectly chilled
  3. The pop is always carbonated
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4 minutes ago, hoiditthroughthegrapevine said:

I wish that I had a magical can of pop (the specific type that I like) that I could drink from whenever I wanted to that fufills the following criteria:

  1. Never runs out of pop
  2. The pop is always perfectly chilled
  3. The pop is always carbonated

Granted. This can is grafted into your flesh and it's flavor is the only one that you can taste. 

I call upon the powers of the Nightwatcher to fulfill my boon. I wish for my body to be able to perfectly metabolize my meals.

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1 hour ago, hoiditthroughthegrapevine said:

Granted a 10th of the human population magically has their pigment drained from their skin and all the new Albinos know that you were the one to bequeath this condition on them.

Unfortunately due to the absorptive nature of 700,000,000 new pigment-less skinned humans more of the radiant heat from the sun is trapped on the surface of the planet, which in turn speeds up global warming which in turn intensifies the radiant heat of the sun. The cycle spirals out of control, until an army of angry sunburned Albinos comes to your door and tears you limb from limb. On the positive side, they are able to use your SPF 50 blood to temporarily block the harsh rays of the sun.

I wish that I had a magical can of pop (the specific type that I like) that I could drink from whenever I wanted to that fufills the following criteria:

  1. Never runs out of pop
  2. The pop is always perfectly chilled
  3. The pop is always carbonated

Okay, but you bane is that you're one of the albinos selected by my wish/curse, and you're also in the middle of the sahara desert when that happens and don't even get the pleasure of ripping me limb from limb.

 

I wish I was the avatar of the gibbering madness of the Cthulhu Mythos, who wields immense power and causes madness and destruction wherever he goes.

Edited by The Allomantic Metalhead
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1 hour ago, Nathrangking said:

I call upon the powers of the Nightwatcher to fulfill my boon. I wish for my body to be able to perfectly metabolize my meals.

Granted! Unfortunately your now on death row, and you only get a chance to metabolize one meal before you get the chair.

1 hour ago, The Allomantic Metalhead said:

I wish I was the avatar of the gibbering madness of the Cthulhu Mythos, who wields immense power and causes madness and destruction wherever he goes.

Granted, unfortunately you're now Rush Limbaugh and you have to listen to your own incessant, maddening drivel.

 

I wish that I had the cool sunshine triggered sparkly skin like the vampires in Twilight without having to be a vampire.

Edited by hoiditthroughthegrapevine
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51 minutes ago, hoiditthroughthegrapevine said:

Granted! Unfortunately your now on death row, and you only get a chance to metabolize one meal before you get the chair.

Granted, unfortunately you're now Rush Limbaugh and you have to listen to your own incessant, maddening drivel.

 

I wish that I had the cool sunshine triggered sparkly skin like the vampires in Twilight without having to be a vampire.

Granted, now everyone thinks you're really, really, really gay... and not the good kind of gay. The really, really, really campy kind of gay.

Also, your bane is that you are now compelled to randomly bite people and recoil from holy symbols. Still not a vampire, but you think you are.

 

I wish I could change my hair and eye color at will.

Edited by The Allomantic Metalhead
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1 minute ago, The Allomantic Metalhead said:

I wish I could change my hair and eye color at will.

You suddenly realize that you live in the modern world and wigs and colored contacts are readily available. Your bane unfortunately is that you're always to poor to buy these modern marvels. But there's always a rainbow, right? You figure out how to use condiments to color your hair, unfortunately you no longer have any friends other than the pigeon that lives in your hair.

I wish that all cancers could be readily cured so that I could smoke around babies.

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1 hour ago, hoiditthroughthegrapevine said:

You suddenly realize that you live in the modern world and wigs and colored contacts are readily available. Your bane unfortunately is that you're always to poor to buy these modern marvels. But there's always a rainbow, right? You figure out how to use condiments to color your hair, unfortunately you no longer have any friends other than the pigeon that lives in your hair.

I wish that all cancers could be readily cured so that I could smoke around babies.

Yes, but you are no longer allowed to smoke.

 

I wish I was a werewolf.

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2 minutes ago, The Allomantic Metalhead said:

I wish I was a werewolf.

Granted, you used to be a werewolf (gotta watch your verb tense when your talking to the Nightwatcher), but now you are a plumber living in Hoboken. The one carryover you have from your former days as a werewolf is that on nights of the full moon thick matted wolf fur erupts from your ears and nostrils. So you still have a great capacity to frighten people once every 28 days.

I wish that I had a robot that did my work for me.

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2 minutes ago, hoiditthroughthegrapevine said:

Granted, you used to be a werewolf (gotta watch your verb tense when your talking to the Nightwatcher), but now you are a plumber living in Hoboken. The one carryover you have from your former days as a werewolf is that on nights of the full moon thick matted wolf fur erupts from your ears and nostrils. So you still have a great capacity to frighten people once every 28 days.

I wish that I had a robot that did my work for me.

Okay, your brain is transplanted into a robot's body.

Your bane is that your body is constantly rusting and you have to polish it for two hours every day or become unable to move.

 

I want the nightwatcher to please make me a mistborn werewolf grey essencewielder (see the bottom of the page. Yes, I did just link you to one of my creations on creation daily).

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25 minutes ago, The Allomantic Metalhead said:

Ok, so here goes. You are a mistborn, but you are in a different galaxy than Scadrial is, and a different God has created your galaxy such that foreign Investiture cannot penetrate the boundary of your Galaxy. It gets turned into fluffy bits of stardust, shaped like butterflies that flutter briefly before they drift apart and are lost in the vast emptiness of space. Sorry about that.

You are a werewolf, but wolves on your planet are really what on are planet would be referred to as hamsters, so on Nights of a full moon you find yourself pushing large spherical boulders around and twitching your nose a lot.

You have been given the power of the grey essencewielder, but unfortunately the Nightwatcher dispatched a courier to the Church of the high Dawn, and a group of sunburned Albino zealots arrives at your house and tears you limb from limb.

I wish that I could be as cool as Alec Guinness.

Edited by hoiditthroughthegrapevine
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19 minutes ago, hoiditthroughthegrapevine said:

Ok, so here goes. You are a mistborn, but you are in a different galaxy than Scadrial is, and a different God has created your galaxy such that foreign Investiture cannot penetrate the boundary of your Galaxy. It gets turned into fluffy bits of stardust, shaped like butterflies that flutter briefly before they drift apart and are lost in the vast emptiness of space. Sorry about that.

You are a werewolf, but wolves on your planet are really what on are planet would be referred to as hamsters, so on Nights of a full moon you find yourself pushing large spherical boulders around and twitching your nose a lot.

You have been given the power of the grey essencewielder, but unfortunately the Nightwatcher dispatched a courier to the Church of the high Dawn, and a group of sunburned Albino zealots arrives at your house and tears you limb from limb.

I wish that I could be as cool as Alec Guinness.

Okay, you now always have the exact same body temperature of Alec Guinness.

 

I wish I was able to play and sing every single song I like and could summon an electric guitar out of thin air whenever I wanted to.

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26 minutes ago, The Allomantic Metalhead said:

I wish I was able to play and sing every single song I like and could summon an electric guitar out of thin air whenever I wanted to.

You are given the voice of Ray Orbison, the guitar prowess of Jimi Hendrix and then transported instantaneously 60 miles above the surface of the earth. In the Mesosphere, where the air is decidedly "thin", you can summon your electric guitar. At a temperature of -100 degrees Centrigrade, you better start playing some hot licks. Assuming you don't freeze to death, you only have a little over 27 minutes to enjoy your golden voice and godlike guitar ability before you're turned into a grisly splat in some poor Iowan's cornfield.

I wish that store bought donuts were as good as donuts from donut shops.

Edited by hoiditthroughthegrapevine
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2 hours ago, hoiditthroughthegrapevine said:

You are given the voice of Ray Orbison, the guitar prowess of Jimi Hendrix and then transported instantaneously 60 miles above the surface of the earth. In the Mesosphere, where the air is decidedly "thin", you can summon your electric guitar. At a temperature of -100 degrees Centrigrade, you better start playing some hot licks. Assuming you don't freeze to death, you only have a little over 27 minutes to enjoy your golden voice and godlike guitar ability before you're turned into a grisly splat in some poor Iowan's cornfield.

I wish that store bought donuts were as good as donuts from donut shops.

Okay, the Nightwatcher grants you your boon.

Your bane is that you constantly have Beseech's cover of Danzig's "Devil's Plaything" stuck in your head. The Nightwatcher decided to be kind with her banes this time.

 

I wish i was a mistborn with one randomly-generated ferring ability (choose one).

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1 hour ago, The Allomantic Metalhead said:

Okay, the Nightwatcher grants you your boon.

Your bane is that you constantly have Beseech's cover of Danzig's "Devil's Plaything" stuck in your head. The Nightwatcher decided to be kind with her banes this time.

 

I wish i was a mistborn with one randomly-generated ferring ability (choose

Awwww man, I wish it was a cover of Long Way Back From Hell, oh well.

 

Granted you are a full mistborn and an aluminum ferring, but along with your powers the Nightwatcher gave you a full frontal lobotomy. Enjoy!

 

I wish that I will never loose my wallet.

Edited by hoiditthroughthegrapevine
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19 hours ago, hoiditthroughthegrapevine said:

Awwww man, I wish it was a cover of Long Way Back From Hell, oh well.

 

Granted you are a full mistborn and an aluminum ferring, but along with your powers the Nightwatcher gave you a full frontal lobotomy. Enjoy!

 

I wish that I will never loose my wallet.

Okay, you will never lose your wallet again because, while visiting a girl you met on an online dating site in Iowa, some jerk falls from the Mesosphere and crushes you.

 

I wish that J.R.R. Tolkien and H.P. Lovecraft were temporarily resurrected to write a epic 13-book (each being about as long as Oathbringer) series with Brandon Sanderson and all of the books were extremely awesome (please make the curse effect me personally instead of the series please please please).

Edited by The Allomantic Metalhead
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46 minutes ago, The Allomantic Metalhead said:

I wish that J.R.R. Tolkien and H.P. Lovecraft were temporarily resurrected to write a epic 13-book (each being about as long as Oathbringer) series with Brandon Sanderson and all of the books were extremely awesome (please make the curse effect me personally instead of the series please please please).

Your boon has been granted. The Nightwatcher, being the sadistic splinter of Divinity that she is, has granted you a boon which is also your curse. You hold in your hand the complete 13 volume set of The SimaCthullurion, a work of sweeping grandeur, where the realms converge, the seas become the land and the lands become the sea. Where Evil and Light fight, converge, break apart and come back together, different yet the same. And the secrets of this universe and all of the rest of the many possible universes are revealed. BUT, you are forced to make a difficult decision. You can either read this series once and then it will be destroyed, even your memories of it (except for the vague impression that it was the greatest thing every written by mortal man) or you can choose to die without having read it, and it will be discovered in Lovecraft's Mausoleum, and will exist, cherished in the hearts of man forever. This is your boon and your curse (interested to hear what decision you make).

 

I wish that Humans were born fully mature and developed and would live their life in reverse. The start of life would be a period of physical weakness and wisdom and would be the time of life to reflect on the mystery of creation. The middle years would be a period of slowly gaining back faculty and bodily strength, as understanding of the world and your place in it starts to develop. The teenage years would be a period of incredible creation, a life having been lived, experiences having been had, with a brain that is in peak condition, a constitution that can turn any food (from hotdogs to boston cream pie) into useful perfect fuel, and a body that is resilient and nearly unbreakable, until finally, having completed your life's work in peak mental and physical condition, in your old age as a toddler and baby you can play with toys and have someone else change your diapers.

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1 hour ago, hoiditthroughthegrapevine said:

Your boon has been granted. The Nightwatcher, being the sadistic splinter of Divinity that she is, has granted you a boon which is also your curse. You hold in your hand the complete 13 volume set of The SimaCthullurion, a work of sweeping grandeur, where the realms converge, the seas become the land and the lands become the sea. Where Evil and Light fight, converge, break apart and come back together, different yet the same. And the secrets of this universe and all of the rest of the many possible universes are revealed. BUT, you are forced to make a difficult decision. You can either read this series once and then it will be destroyed, even your memories of it (except for the vague impression that it was the greatest thing every written by mortal man) or you can choose to die without having read it, and it will be discovered in Lovecraft's Mausoleum, and will exist, cherished in the hearts of man forever. This is your boon and your curse (interested to hear what decision you make).

 

I wish that Humans were born fully mature and developed and would live their life in reverse. The start of life would be a period of physical weakness and wisdom and would be the time of life to reflect on the mystery of creation. The middle years would be a period of slowly gaining back faculty and bodily strength, as understanding of the world and your place in it starts to develop. The teenage years would be a period of incredible creation, a life having been lived, experiences having been had, with a brain that is in peak condition, a constitution that can turn any food (from hotdogs to boston cream pie) into useful perfect fuel, and a body that is resilient and nearly unbreakable, until finally, having completed your life's work in peak mental and physical condition, in your old age as a toddler and baby you can play with toys and have someone else change your diapers.

Granted, but you live eternally in a coma where you experience being Highprince Sadeas’ servant (your job is to wipe his butt) over and over and over and over again.

I want the bands of mourning (they never run out of investiture) and all ten Honorblades (fueled directly by Honor).

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10 minutes ago, Herald Of Justice said:

I want the bands of mourning (they never run out of investiture) and all ten Honorblades (fueled directly by Honor).

Granted, but after you are gifted with these physical manifestations of unimaginable god-like power, you are immediately paralyzed from the eyebrows down. The rest of your life is spent with other people taking care of the unpleasant manifestation of digestion, you have an attendant that even has to manually do the peristalsis that your insensate throat can't accomplish (he forces the food down your esophagus by massaging your throat). Over 30 years, through a complicated systems of binary signs (you do have two eyebrows after all) you are able to communicate that if properly attached the bands of morning or the Edgedancer honorblade would be able to heal you of your current physical decrepitude. Unfortunately, your attendant responsible for peristalsis forgot to do his job as he fetched you the bands of morning and you choked to death on cream of mushroom soup. Cue the sad violins.

 

My wish is that @The Allomantic Metalhead would reply to the boon/curse specifically tailored for him:

1 hour ago, hoiditthroughthegrapevine said:

Your boon has been granted. The Nightwatcher, being the sadistic splinter of Divinity that she is, has granted you a boon which is also your curse. You hold in your hand the complete 13 volume set of The SimaCthullurion, a work of sweeping grandeur, where the realms converge, the seas become the land and the lands become the sea. Where Evil and Light fight, converge, break apart and come back together, different yet the same. And the secrets of this universe and all of the rest of the many possible universes are revealed. BUT, you are forced to make a difficult decision. You can either read this series once and then it will be destroyed, even your memories of it (except for the vague impression that it was the greatest thing every written by mortal man) or you can choose to die without having read it, and it will be discovered in Lovecraft's Mausoleum, and will exist, cherished in the hearts of man forever. This is your boon and your curse (interested to hear what decision you make).

 

If someone else wants to keep going with this, I will add this secondary wish. I wish that Unicorns were real, and further that they were very tiny, and that I could have one as a keychain for my carkeys. For real, that would be awesome. Look, check out my tiny unicorn keychain. Yeah, I touch his horn and my allergies are totally cured.

Edited by hoiditthroughthegrapevine
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1 hour ago, hoiditthroughthegrapevine said:

Your boon has been granted. The Nightwatcher, being the sadistic splinter of Divinity that she is, has granted you a boon which is also your curse. You hold in your hand the complete 13 volume set of The SimaCthullurion, a work of sweeping grandeur, where the realms converge, the seas become the land and the lands become the sea. Where Evil and Light fight, converge, break apart and come back together, different yet the same. And the secrets of this universe and all of the rest of the many possible universes are revealed. BUT, you are forced to make a difficult decision. You can either read this series once and then it will be destroyed, even your memories of it (except for the vague impression that it was the greatest thing every written by mortal man) or you can choose to die without having read it, and it will be discovered in Lovecraft's Mausoleum, and will exist, cherished in the hearts of man forever. This is your boon and your curse (interested to hear what decision you make).

 

I wish that Humans were born fully mature and developed and would live their life in reverse. The start of life would be a period of physical weakness and wisdom and would be the time of life to reflect on the mystery of creation. The middle years would be a period of slowly gaining back faculty and bodily strength, as understanding of the world and your place in it starts to develop. The teenage years would be a period of incredible creation, a life having been lived, experiences having been had, with a brain that is in peak condition, a constitution that can turn any food (from hotdogs to boston cream pie) into useful perfect fuel, and a body that is resilient and nearly unbreakable, until finally, having completed your life's work in peak mental and physical condition, in your old age as a toddler and baby you can play with toys and have someone else change your diapers.

14 minutes ago, hoiditthroughthegrapevine said:

Granted, but after you are gifted with these physical manifestations of unimaginable god-like power, you are immediately paralyzed from the eyebrows down. The rest of your life is spent with other people taking care of the unpleasant manifestation of digestion, you have an attendant that even has to manually do the peristalsis that your insensate throat can't accomplish (he forces the food down your esophagus by massaging your throat). Over 30 years, through a complicated systems of binary signs (you do have two eyebrows after all) you are able to communicate that if properly attached the bands of morning or the Edgedancer honorblade would be able to heal you of your current physical decrepitude. Unfortunately, your attendant responsible for peristalsis forgot to do his job as he fetched you the bands of morning and you choked to death on cream of mushroom soup. Cue the sad violins.

 

My wish is that @The Allomantic Metalhead would reply to the boon/curse specifically tailored for him:

 

If someone else wants to keep going with this, I will add this secondary wish. I wish that Unicorns were real, and further that they were very tiny, and that I could have one as a keychain for my carkeys. For real, that would be awesome. Look, check out my tiny unicorn keychain. Yeah, I touch his horn and my allergies are totally cured.

I choose death. Humanity deserves a book of grandeur made by three of the greatest authors in human history, even if I may never read it.

Your bane is that, when you die, your afterlife is just a barroom that's empty (and devoid of booze) except for me, and I know that you are the reason I was never allowed to read a work of such grandeur. Better prepare some halfway decent apologies or spend the rest of eternity getting clubbed over the head with a bar stool.

 

I wish that vampire fetishists would storm off. There's nothing sexy about a freezing cold walking corpse that rips your neck open and gorges on your blood, and it's technically necrophilia, even if they consent. And that's not even getting into the fact that they sleep in a storming coffin and can't enjoy a sunrise with you or go on a lunch date or anything like that....

Edited by The Allomantic Metalhead
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2 hours ago, The Allomantic Metalhead said:

I wish that vampire fetishists would storm off. There's nothing sexy about a freezing cold walking corpse that rips your neck open and gorges on your blood, and it's technically necrophilia, even if they consent. And that's not even getting into the fact that they sleep in a storming coffin and can't enjoy a sunrise with you or go on a lunch date or anything like that....

Granted, no one likes vampires anymore. Congratulations, the Nightwatcher has made you a vampire. Internet dating sites are now intelligent enough to interpolate from how you answer questions that you really are a vampire. You spend your deathless immortal life alone, with only a teddy bear and a ragged blanket for comfort. You curse your boon and your curse, while you feast on Elderly men the rest of your days. Boo hoo.

 

I wish that Apple was just a type of fruit and not a type of computer.

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