ShadowLord_Lith Posted April 2, 2017 Report Share Posted April 2, 2017 With no wish, the joker cackles in glee and shreds your soul into non-existence, leaving your cognitive and physical aspects intact. You body and mind slowly wither and decay, though they remain alive. As there is nothing keeping you alive, yet nothing that can truly die, you live a half-life as a physical ghost; unable to die, yet unable to truly live. I wish for the nightwatcher to be returned to her rightful position. Goodbye joker. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DrakeMarshall Posted April 2, 2017 Report Share Posted April 2, 2017 Granted. The Joker agrees to leave Roshar and resume terrorizing earth. However, as he is still the one granting your wish, he gets revenge on you for banishing him from the nightwatcher's position. He creates a steel inquisitor in his own likeness (joker's face, but with spikes), and sicks it on you. It has full compounding abilities. I wish for 1,000 biochromatic breaths. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zennix Posted April 2, 2017 Report Share Posted April 2, 2017 3 hours ago, Drake Marshall said: Granted. The Joker agrees to leave Roshar and resume terrorizing earth. However, as he is still the one granting your wish, he gets revenge on you for banishing him from the nightwatcher's position. He creates a steel inquisitor in his own likeness (joker's face, but with spikes), and sicks it on you. It has full compounding abilities. I wish for 1,000 biochromatic breaths. You get Nighblood who is the equivalent of 1000 Breaths. Being ignorant of its power, you unsheathe it, but since you don't have Investiture, you die. I wish to lead a chasmfiend Orchestra. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kenod Posted April 2, 2017 Report Share Posted April 2, 2017 24 minutes ago, Zennix said: You get Nighblood who is the equivalent of 1000 Breaths. Being ignorant of its power, you unsheathe it, but since you don't have Investiture, you die. I wish to lead a chasmfiend Orchestra. (Emphasis mine) Nightblood kills you by feeding of Investure, so it shouldn't do anything. Anyway, you get to lead the chasmfiend Orchestra. Sadly enough, Elhokar stumbles upon you while leading the great chasmfiend hunt. He does like the music however. I wish for a tame fox as my pet. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gizmosowner Posted April 2, 2017 Report Share Posted April 2, 2017 Granted however at midnight each night yourfox gains the intent of Odium for one minute. I wish for a random beneficial thing to occur 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zennix Posted April 2, 2017 Report Share Posted April 2, 2017 Granted. You get one day of practical philosophy lessons from Jasnah. Unfortunately, midway through the lessons, you are attacked by Ghostblood assassins who murder after Jasnah elsecalls herself out of there leaving you behind. I wish for a taste of the Horneater lager. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Borio Singaldi Posted April 3, 2017 Report Share Posted April 3, 2017 5 hours ago, Zennix said: Granted. You get one day of practical philosophy lessons from Jasnah. Unfortunately, midway through the lessons, you are attacked by Ghostblood assassins who murder after Jasnah elsecalls herself out of there leaving you behind. I wish for a taste of the Horneater lager. Granted. You taste the Horneater lager, but instead of melting right through your insides as it would normally burn through things, the lager becomes trapped within your stomach, leaving you to feel of your insides burning and melting for the rest of your life without being able to do anything about it. I wish for the stick to become fire. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steeldancer Posted April 3, 2017 Report Share Posted April 3, 2017 Congratulations. The stick has become fire. But the amount of investiture required sucks your ambient investiture... And you die. And I wish to find beauty in everything 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
I Am Witless Posted April 3, 2017 Report Share Posted April 3, 2017 Granted. Everything that is considered ugly in this world congregates around you because it needs self-worth. Mud congregates around your shoes, vultures circle overhead, and Sadeas tries to become your best friend. I wish to have a tutoring session with Jasnah so that I can get a better grade in English 101. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zennix Posted April 3, 2017 Report Share Posted April 3, 2017 Granted. But you don't live long enough to the exam because you are murdered by Ghostblood assassins who mistook you for Jasnah. I wish to spank Cultivation. (Sorry guys. I just couldn't stop myself from posting that) 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steeldancer Posted April 4, 2017 Report Share Posted April 4, 2017 1 hour ago, Zennix said: Granted. But you don't live long enough to the exam because you are murdered by Ghostblood assassins who mistook you for Jasnah. I wish to spank Cultivation. (Sorry guys. I just couldn't stop myself from posting that) Is it even possible to spank a shard??? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zennix Posted April 4, 2017 Report Share Posted April 4, 2017 30 minutes ago, The Flash said: Is it even possible to spank a shard??? That's why I need the Old Magic. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr. Staccato Posted April 4, 2017 Report Share Posted April 4, 2017 4 hours ago, Zennix said: Granted. But you don't live long enough to the exam because you are murdered by Ghostblood assassins who mistook you for Jasnah. I wish to spank Cultivation. (Sorry guys. I just couldn't stop myself from posting that) So you spank Cultivation (I will leave the rest of the sordid details to you, my friend). However, be ready to get spanked in turn by the full force of an actual Shard. Don't worry - I'll be there to sweep up the molecular dust of your remains when the entire ordeal is over. In the mean time, I gift to you this alternate bane! You are now invisible, but only when no one is watching. (I honestly have no idea how that's going to work out...) I wish for an inter-Cosmere musical. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DrakeMarshall Posted April 4, 2017 Report Share Posted April 4, 2017 46 minutes ago, Mr. Staccato said: So you spank Cultivation (I will leave the rest of the sordid details to you, my friend). However, be ready to get spanked in turn by the full force of an actual Shard. Don't worry - I'll be there to sweep up the molecular dust of your remains when the entire ordeal is over. In the mean time, I gift to you this alternate bane! You are now invisible, but only when no one is watching. (I honestly have no idea how that's going to work out...) I wish for an inter-Cosmere musical. I too am impossible to see when nobody is looking at me. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Krandacth Posted April 4, 2017 Report Share Posted April 4, 2017 3 hours ago, Mr. Staccato said: You are now invisible, but only when no one is watching. (I honestly have no idea how that's going to work out...) I imagine getting ready in the morning would be really difficult unless you happen to have a partner (or attendant) willing to just watch you for the entirety of your morning routine... 3 hours ago, Mr. Staccato said: I wish for an inter-Cosmere musical. Granted. It is as spectacular as you imagine, and has a running time of one week, despite Brandon saying it would be no more than 4 hours, intermission included. And no-one complains. Unfortunately, while watching the musical you can't remember who the actors are, and outside of watching the musical you can't recognise that any given person was in the cast. Furthermore, if anyone mentions anything identifying about a cast member in the context of the musical, you hear rushing wind. Finally, though you remember the emotional effects of the musical perfectly, whenever you remember any song from it you hear it as if it were sung by Joe Pasquale. I wish for @Drake Marshall to replace the nightwatcher, with all her power, for the next bane/boon. (So, he is responsible for the bane and boon for the person who reports mine and makes a wish.) 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DrakeMarshall Posted April 4, 2017 Report Share Posted April 4, 2017 *grins evilly* I admit I'm tempted to grant this wish and thus be the person who subsequently has to grant my own future wish. But I won't break things like that. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr. Staccato Posted April 5, 2017 Report Share Posted April 5, 2017 20 hours ago, Krandacth said: I wish for @Drake Marshall to replace the nightwatcher, with all her power, for the next bane/boon. (So, he is responsible for the bane and boon for the person who reports mine and makes a wish.) The nightwatcher temporarily steps down for @Drake Marshall. (Wohoo) (Oh wait. Does this mean he'll be the one to...? Oh storms.) It seems a harmless boon (for you) so the nightwatcher decides on an innocuous bane for you. You get to temporarily replace Wyndle as Lift's cultivationspren for a day. Hurray! I wish to know the true name of shshshshshshshsh and not be rendered mad in the process. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Windrunner19 Posted April 5, 2017 Report Share Posted April 5, 2017 (edited) 12 hours ago, Mr. Staccato said: The nightwatcher temporarily steps down for @Drake Marshall. (Wohoo) (Oh wait. Does this mean he'll be the one to...? Oh storms.) It seems a harmless boon (for you) so the nightwatcher decides on an innocuous bane for you. You get to temporarily replace Wyndle as Lift's cultivationspren for a day. Hurray! I wish to know the true name of shshshshshshshsh and not be rendered mad in the process. You will learn the name of shshshshshshsh. However, you will lose your ability to speak. I wish to be adopted by Brandon Sanderson and not die soon after Edited April 5, 2017 by Windrunner19 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Djarskublar Posted April 5, 2017 Report Share Posted April 5, 2017 Actually, we know her name. We found out during the Dark Talent tour. Her name is Evie (spelling unconfirmed, it's pronounced like the Pokemon eevee). I was there with the guy who got that answered, so can confirm. Sorry to make your wish pointless 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DrakeMarshall Posted April 6, 2017 Report Share Posted April 6, 2017 23 hours ago, Mr. Staccato said: The nightwatcher temporarily steps down for @Drake Marshall. (Wohoo) (Oh wait. Does this mean he'll be the one to...? Oh storms.) It seems a harmless boon (for you) so the nightwatcher decides on an innocuous bane for you. You get to temporarily replace Wyndle as Lift's cultivationspren for a day. Hurray! I wish to know the true name of shshshshshshshsh and not be rendered mad in the process. The nightwatcher steps down. Drake momentarily ascends to the position of nightwatcher, grinning manically. Listening attentively for a wish... Staccato looks on in horror as he realizes what he has done by granting this wish. "I wish to know the true name of shshshshshshshsh and not be rendered mad in the process." Aha! I know just the bane for you... "Grante--" 11 hours ago, Windrunner19 said: You will learn the name of shshshshshshsh. However, you will lose your ability to speak. I wish to be adopted by Brandon Sanderson and not die soon after Suddenly, a stranger jumps forward in between Staccato and Drake-turned-nightwatcher and grants Staccato's wish. What? What is this sorcery! Ultimately, it doesn't matter. All this windrunner fellow has done is switched himself out with Staccato... He shall receive my bane, then. Muahahahahah... "You're wish is granted. Brandon Sanderson somehow discovers how to use cosmere magic on earth. In an accident involving hemalurgy, he ends up turning a stranger into a hemalurgically deranged mutant. That stranger is you. In part because he feels responsible for you, and in part to cover it up, he ends up adopting you. It soon becomes evident that the process cannot be reversed without killing you. He is kind to you, but you aren't ever allowed to leave or go outside, being a hemalurgically deranged mutant and all. If you escaped you would probably be captured and dissected or something." I wish for prescience. I'll also throw in the wish that I don't receive Taravangian's bane, if just because I'd prefer something original. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Borio Singaldi Posted April 7, 2017 Report Share Posted April 7, 2017 (edited) On 4/5/2017 at 9:49 PM, Drake Marshall said: I wish for prescience. I'll also throw in the wish that I don't receive Taravangian's bane, if just because I'd prefer something original. Um, aren't you currently the one doing the Nightwatcher's job right now? Does that mean you can just grant your own wishes and banes? Ah, whatever. Moving on. Because you ascended briefly to the Nightwatcher's position, you are granted both wishes. You do not receive the same bane as King Taravangian, and you receive the gift of foreknowledge. Unfortunately, now the entire universe has turned against you and everything you can see in the future is something bad that will happen to you, your loved ones, and the world around you. I wish to know the full story of the mysterious Trell. Edited April 7, 2017 by Firerust the Terris Gyorn I forgot to add my own wish. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NamelessThirteenth Posted April 7, 2017 Report Share Posted April 7, 2017 I wish for better punctuation and spelling in my school assignments (that's kind of a divine ability for me), and my boon can be that... anything so long as I can still borrow books and read. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zennix Posted April 7, 2017 Report Share Posted April 7, 2017 (edited) Granted. The only books you can read now are dictionaries. If you read any other type of book, you will forget everything when you drop the book. The only way to counter the boon is to always maintain physical contact with any book you want to retain your memory of reading it. (Clue: tie the book around a part of your body using a rope or adhesive tapes, or even some glue.) That’s like creating a book metalmind (a Bookmind?). That's so cool, right? It's almost like a boon. I wish to own a Catquistor (a cat Inquisitor). Edited April 7, 2017 by Zennix 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gizmosowner Posted April 7, 2017 Report Share Posted April 7, 2017 6 hours ago, Zennix said: Granted. The only books you can read now are dictionaries. If you read any other type of book, you will forget everything when you drop the book. The only way to counter the boon is to always maintain physical contact with any book you want to retain your memory of reading it. (Clue: tie the book around a part of your body using a rope or adhesive tapes, or even some glue.) That’s like creating a book metalmind (a Bookmind?). That's so cool, right? It's almost like a boon. I wish to own a Catquistor (a cat Inquisitor). Granted however the catquisitor kills you in retaliation for impaling it's head with spikes. I wish for nothing. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DrakeMarshall Posted April 8, 2017 Report Share Posted April 8, 2017 Granted. You're bane is that you receive something. Specifically a headache for the next 24 hours. I wish for for some chouta, preferably without shells in it. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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