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Nightwatcher Boon/Bane (Game)


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13 minutes ago, Idealistic Mistborn said:

Granted, you have the bottom half of a hourglass, you bane is that now you have to use it once per day, and refill it when all the sand falls.

I wish for the best dinner ever.

Granted, your dinner was made by my lord Numuhukumakiaki'aialunamor and includes large chunks of chull shell and dung. Some of the dung is human.

i wish for multiple boons without any banes. I wish for my first boon to be infinite knowledge and power yet still with infinite compassion and still with the ability to use my power

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On 3/22/2017 at 3:21 PM, Gizmosowner said:

Granted, your dinner was made by my lord Numuhukumakiaki'aialunamor and includes large chunks of chull shell and dung. Some of the dung is human.

i wish for multiple boons without any banes. I wish for my first boon to be infinite knowledge and power yet still with infinite compassion and still with the ability to use my power

You have broken the laws of the Nightwatcher's way of working, and have thus created a paradox in which nothing is gained or lost and you receive neither a boon or a bane, which is too bad, because that was a good wish.

I wish for motivation to stop procrastinating.

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Granted. The Nightwatcher curses you with a vicious monster that lurks in the shadows that will rip of your face and eat your soul in your sleep if you are not sufficiently productive that day. On the plus side, you will never be lazy!

I wish for strengths that perfectly counter my weaknesses, making me a complete and fully-capable-in-every-situation individual.

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Granted. You are now dead.

Strengths: you no longer have to deal with anything in this world. Weaknesses: you are no longer capable of dealing with anything in this world.

The strengths balance out the weaknesses. In all situations under the sun.

 

I wish for... Hm. I wish I weren't sick anymore.

 

EDIT: Sorry nightwatcher, but I've recovered before you could grant my wish, and so I now retract it without receiving a bane! :D:D

Instead... I wish for the best thing to wish for.

Edited by Drake Marshall
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20 hours ago, Drake Marshall said:

Granted. You are now dead.

Strengths: you no longer have to deal with anything in this world. Weaknesses: you are no longer capable of dealing with anything in this world.

The strengths balance out the weaknesses. In all situations under the sun.

 

I wish for... Hm. I wish I weren't sick anymore.

 

EDIT: Sorry nightwatcher, but I've recovered before you could grant my wish, and so I now retract it without receiving a bane! :D:D

Instead... I wish for the best thing to wish for.

The Nightwatcher mercifully retracts your original wish after deep consideration, and gives you the best thing you could wish for -- eternal happiness. Unfortunately, you have no one to share that eternal happiness with, leaving you unable to experience true joy in the company of others, despite being so happy.

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7 minutes ago, Brightness Enna said:

You didn't wish, @Firerust the Terris Gyorn!!!

You now have the ultimate bane... the Bane of Incarna. Good luck.

I wish for more chocolate muffins. And Oreos.

(That's right, I did forget my wish. My apologies.)

Granted. You have more chocolate muffins and Oreos, but your mouth has been subsequently erased to keep you from being able to eat them, forcing you to do something else with them.

I wish to casually meet Brandon Sanderson in person.

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Another divergence in the paths of wishing! Only one way to fix it... Commence insulting wish granting!!!

 

1 hour ago, Sworn-Defender said:

I wish for the perfect sense of comedic timing.

Granted. Your many mistakes in life are perfectly timed so as to provide other people the maximum entertainment.

1 hour ago, Firerust the Terris Gyorn said:

I wish to casually meet Brandon Sanderson in person.

Granted. You casually meet Brandon Sanderson. Since Sanderson is still in his right mind when you meet him, he finds you intolerably obnoxious, and you never see him again.

 

I wish for an awakened abacus.

Edited by Drake Marshall
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Granted. 

The results of any calculations you carry out using your awakened abacus is added to your age. Therefore, the more you use it, the older you get. 

I wish for double steel compounding. 

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10 minutes ago, Drake Marshall said:

Who says I can't calculate negative values sometimes?

You are the one who determines the problems... IMMORTALITY! two boons in one! mwahahahahahhhh

14 minutes ago, Zennix said:

Granted. 

The results of any calculations you carry out using your awakened abacus is added to your age. Therefore, the more you use it, the older you get. 

I wish for double steel compounding. 

Granted. You can burn steel for Allomantic and Feruchemical effects. Cool.

You lose the ability to read. You can relearn but you will never be as good as you were ever again. evil laughter

I wish to never get sore ever again.

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15 minutes ago, Drake Marshall said:

Who says I can''t calculate negative values sometimes?

Haha! Did you just try to outsmart the Nightwatcher? For that you will get a bonus bane.  You keep growing older and older but you can't die. You finally become Hoed but nobody can find a Shardpool to disintegrate you. 

This is why no one messes with the Nightwatcher. :P

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10 hours ago, Brightness Enna said:

You are the one who determines the problems... IMMORTALITY! two boons in one! mwahahahahahhhh

Granted. You can burn steel for Allomantic and Feruchemical effects. Cool.

You lose the ability to read. You can relearn but you will never be as good as you were ever again. evil laughter

I wish to never get sore ever again.

Granted. However, you shall not be able to feel any pain...or pleasure. You now live a monotone existence.

I wish to become steeldancer (edgedancer with steel compounding abilities)

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17 hours ago, Drake Marshall said:

I wish to replace the nightwatcher.

And so she gets replaced - however since you named no replacement, the nightwatcher is instead succeeded by the Joker.

And so we all die horrible deaths. @Drake Marshall you choke on a sandwich of Rock's own design. I drown in Shadesmar. And the next poster, whoever he or she is, gets mistaken by Kaladin as Amaram and dies accordingly.

I wish for guidance. :ph34r:

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13 minutes ago, Mr. Staccato said:

And so she gets replaced - however since you named no replacement, the nightwatcher is instead succeeded by the Joker.

And so we all die horrible deaths. @Drake Marshall you choke on a sandwich of Rock's own design. I drown in Shadesmar. And the next poster, whoever he or she is, gets mistaken by Kaladin as Amaram and dies accordingly.

I wish for guidance. :ph34r:

You are guided to the River Lethe in the underworld where your memory gets wiped off permanently, including your memories of Brandon Sanderson's books. 

I wish to become a Returned with unlimited Breaths. 

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8 hours ago, Zennix said:

You are guided to the River Lethe in the underworld where your memory gets wiped off permanently, including your memories of Brandon Sanderson's books. 

I wish to become a Returned with unlimited Breaths. 

 

You die from Kaladin as he tortures you in Braize until you grant him all your breaths.

 

I want to take up the power of Odium.

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2 minutes ago, Kplynch21 said:

You die from Kaladin as he tortures you in Braize until you grant him . all your breaths.

 

I want to take up the power of Odium.

Granted. But you are so consumed by hatred of your existence that you commit suicide by splintering yourself. 

I wish for a pet Chasmfiend. 

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12 hours ago, Mr. Staccato said:

And so she gets replaced - however since you named no replacement, the nightwatcher is instead succeeded by the Joker.

And so we all die horrible deaths. @Drake Marshall you choke on a sandwich of Rock's own design. I drown in Shadesmar. And the next poster, whoever he or she is, gets mistaken by Kaladin as Amaram and dies accordingly.

I wish for guidance. :ph34r:

Well that went dark... why so serious?

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1 hour ago, Drake Marshall said:

Well that went dark... why so serious?

I was dropped into a vat of chemicals and arose with a glasglow smile and a tangle of seriously unfashionable sea-weed green hair.

 

4 hours ago, Zennix said:

Granted. But you are so consumed by hatred of your existence that you commit suicide by splintering yourself. 

I wish for a pet Chasmfiend. 

Spoiler

11077-004-F484C7FF.jpg

Keep in a fish-tank please, thank you.

Voila.

I wish Oathbringer would feature Brandon's first cross-over couple.

Edited by Mr. Staccato
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1 minute ago, Mr. Staccato said:

I was dropped into a vat of chemicals and arose with a glasglow smile and a tangle of seriously unfashionable sea-weed green hair.

Is that the story... Sometimes I remember differently. If I'm going to have a past, I'd prefer it be multiple choice!

But anyway, my point is, that must have made for something of a bad day...

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Granted. The crossover couple is Kar (Inquisitor) and Eshonai (Parshendi). Their relationship encourages Odium and Ruin to form an alliance which leads to the complete destruction of the Cosmere. 

I wish to date Shallash. :P

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Granted. The relationship ends suddenly when you try to take a picture with her, and Shalash attacks you to prevent her likeness being captured. In the end she drives you raving insane with her lightweaving. I believe what doesn't kill you makes you... Stranger.

I'm sorry. I had to keep up the references, especially since the nightwatcher is still technically replaced and so the bane reflects it...

I wish for something that is worth the costs.

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8 hours ago, Drake Marshall said:

Granted. The relationship ends suddenly when you try to take a picture with her, and Shalash attacks you to prevent her likeness being captured. In the end she drives you raving insane with her lightweaving. I believe what doesn't kill you makes you... Stranger.

I'm sorry. I had to keep up the references, especially since the nightwatcher is still technically replaced and so the bane reflects it...

I wish for something that is worth the costs.

 

Granted. You get a copy of Oathbringer (worth the money), in return you become blind and can't read it, and no audiobook comes out because the book is too long.

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