Nightwatcher Boon/Bane (Game)

[Hemalurgic Headshot]

Granted. However, they must all be applied to every adorable puppy in existence before they are applied to the target.

I wish for a garden of watermelons, that after they are fully grown, pick themselves and go plant more gardens of watermelons.

[DrakeMarshall]

Granted. The watermelons grow, and grow... And spread, and spread, and spread... Because these watermelons have the most effective self-proliferation mechanism known to the plant kingdom, they swiftly spread over the entire world. The world now has a bountiful supply of delicious watermelons.

Your bane is that this new strain of watermelon is carnivorous. Also, since this strain is not native to any particular location, it quickly out-competes the vast majority of other plant species, causing mass extinction.

 

I wish for the ability to manipulate how strongly both fear and pain effect me, with precision.

[Mr. Staccato]

3 hours ago, Drake Marshall said:

I wish for the ability to manipulate how strongly both fear and pain effect me, with precision.

Granted. Your power works with such precision that you are basically hacking your body at a near-cellular basis. This power requires an in-depth understanding of psychology, neurology, bodily chemistry, and psychosomatic responses though so I suggest you crack open a book, or two (or maybe an entire library's worth of books like this) before you attempt to use your power - you might just end up numb for life.

As for your bane, you now hear "Darube - Sandstorm" playing non-stop in your ear. Only another sharder can lift you of this curse, and they must do so by willingly letting themselves get stabbed by you with a hemalurgic spike. Happy hunting~ I'm a continent away from you. 

I wish Soonie Cub stuff toys were in real life... 

[DrakeMarshall]

14 hours ago, Mr. Staccato said:

Granted. Your power works with such precision that you are basically hacking your body at a near-cellular basis. This power requires an in-depth understanding of psychology, neurology, bodily chemistry, and psychosomatic responses though so I suggest you crack open a book, or two (or maybe an entire library's worth of books like this) before you attempt to use your power - you might just end up numb for life.

As for your bane, you now hear "Darube - Sandstorm" playing non-stop in your ear. Only another sharder can lift you of this curse, and they must do so by willingly letting themselves get stabbed by you with a hemalurgic spike. Happy hunting~ I'm a continent away from you. 

I wish Soonie Cub stuff toys were in real life... 

Granted. They now exist in real life. In fact, you can even have one.

Your bane is that you are no longer a continent away from me. I've got a spike with your name on it.

I wish to know the nature of Cusicesh, the Protector.

[Hemalurgic Headshot]

Granted. But now your soul is sentenced to Damnation. Have fun!

 

I wish that I had a tawny frogmouth (it's a bird) named Stumpy that could metabolize the emotions of those around it and convert the energy it gained into lasers that it shoots from its eyes.

[Jedal]

4 hours ago, Hemalurgic_Headshot said:

Granted. But now your soul is sentenced to Damnation. Have fun!

 

I wish that I had a tawny frogmouth (it's a bird) named Stumpy that could metabolize the emotions of those around it and convert the energy it gained into lasers that it shoots from its eyes.

Granted. But the first thing it wants to do is shoot its lasers at your face.

 

I want to have the acute ability to increase or decrease emotions in others and myself.

[Hemalurgic Headshot]

Granted. But your perception of what emotions are is distorted, and you often create very awkward situations, like by making someone feeling psychotic at a funeral.

I wish for a pencil that has multiple multi use tips. A "Swiss army pencil", if you will.

[Mr. Staccato]

Granted. There is now such a thing as a "Swiss army pencil." Wayne has it.

I wish that the next book Brandon Sanderson writes has a magic system fuelled by caffeine intake. Because everybody loves coffee.  (Oh I love you coffee so much... *makes embarrassing noises*)

[A Secret Corner]

Granted. One of the effects of the coffee is that it makes you sleepy (in the magic system). Your bane is that coffee beans are as valuable as aluminum, and are priced similarly.

 

I wish to petition the nightwatcher for 10 more wishes.

[Hemalurgic Headshot]

Granted. The Nightwatcher gives you a piece of notebook paper with the words "ten wishes" scribbled on it. The paper then jumps down your throat and gives you diabetes. The Nightwatcher doesn't play games.

I wish for a grove of trees whose pollen gives magical powers to those who breathe it. The pollen is pink and smells like lemons.

[Jedal]

2 hours ago, Hemalurgic_Headshot said:

Granted. The Nightwatcher gives you a piece of notebook paper with the words "ten wishes" scribbled on it. The paper then jumps down your throat and gives you diabetes. The Nightwatcher doesn't play games.

I wish for a grove of trees whose pollen gives magical powers to those who breathe it. The pollen is pink and smells like lemons.

Granted. But all who get these powers lose them ten days later and contract a strange disease which makes them turn pink before they melt into bubbly lemon juice. Enjoy your last ten days of life!

I wish for the ability to turn others into their sexual fantasy.

[Hemalurgic Headshot]

35 minutes ago, Jedal said:

Granted. But all who get these powers lose them ten days later and contract a strange disease which makes them turn pink before they melt into bubbly lemon juice. Enjoy your last ten days of life!

I wish for the ability to turn others into their sexual fantasy.

Who said I would be snuffing pink pollen? And do you mean the other people's fantasy of themselves, or your fantasy of them?

[kenod]

11 hours ago, Jedal said:

Granted. But all who get these powers lose them ten days later and contract a strange disease which makes them turn pink before they melt into bubbly lemon juice. Enjoy your last ten days of life!

I wish for the ability to turn others into their sexual fantasy.

Granted, you turn them into whoever they fantasize about, so you'll probably be gender-bending them. As your bane, you can't change them back. I'm guessing a lot of people will be fairly angry with you now.

I wish that my raspberry pi's over scan worked correctly.

[Podman]

15 hours ago, kenod said:

Granted, you turn them into whoever they fantasize about, so you'll probably be gender-bending them. As your bane, you can't change them back. I'm guessing a lot of people will be fairly angry with you now.

I wish that my raspberry pi's over scan worked correctly.

Granted.

I wish Wyndle is some day understood, and that Lift will eventually admit he is not a Voidbringer... just kidding! I wish that Wyndle will always remain the best Shardfork of all the land!

[Hemalurgic Headshot]

Granted... if Wyndle agrees. Getting him to agree to stay a Shardfork is your bane. And you can only talk like Yoda.

I wish for a magical toaster that can still make toast.

[DrakeMarshall]

Granted. Wyndle is the best shardfork.

As your bane, it turns out that Wyndle is a real Voidbringer. PLOT TWIST. Pretending to be cultivationspren, Wyndle slowly manipulates Lift so that she ends up murdering Kaladin. That's why Nalan was trying so hard to kill her.

Also you forgot to give kenod a bane. So, Kenod, I will give you one. Your bane is that through some vile magics, the raspberry pi can now only run windows 10.

 

I wish for a perpendicularity to appear somewhere on earth, but not anywhere too close to where I am.

EDIT: Ninja'd by HH!!!

Edited March 3, 2017 by Drake Marshall

[Hemalurgic Headshot]

Okay, compromise: I answer Drake's wish, and the next person answers my wish. 

---

Granted, the perpendicularity is now in Antarctica, and Hoid has given all of the penguins spikes granting sapience. Now there is a magical penguin army threatening to destroy the world.

To repeat my wish, I wish for a magical toaster that can still make toast.

[kenod]

6 hours ago, podman36 said:

Granted.

I wish Wyndle is some day understood, and that Lift will eventually admit he is not a Voidbringer... just kidding! I wish that Wyndle will always remain the best Shardfork of all the land!

... I didn't get a bane?

[Mr. Staccato]

On March 3, 2017 at 10:37 AM, Hemalurgic_Headshot said:

To repeat my wish, I wish for a magical toaster that can still make toast.

Granted. You now have a magical toaster - magical in the sense that it gives out wise fortune cookie-esque advice in a disembodied voice while you're making toast, and sometimes it gives out weather forecasts while said weather is ongoing.

Hi. This is Karen Smith. It's 68 degrees, and there's a thirty percent chance it's already raining.

Your bane is that the toaster speaks in David Blaine's voice. If you don't think that's a bane - then clearly you get more than enough sleep everyday.

I wish Hoid would teach me something useful.

[Gizmosowner]

On 3/4/2017 at 0:41 AM, Mr. Staccato said:

Granted. You now have a magical toaster - magical in the sense that it gives out wise fortune cookie-esque advice in a disembodied voice while you're making toast, and sometimes it gives out weather forecasts while said weather is ongoing.

Hi. This is Karen Smith. It's 68 degrees, and there's a thirty percent chance it's already raining.

Your bane is that the toaster speaks in David Blaine's voice. If you don't think that's a bane - then clearly you get more than enough sleep everyday.

I wish Hoid would teach me something useful.

Granted- Hoid has taught you how to do laundry medieval style

i wish I owned a shard blade

[Hemalurgic Headshot]

Granted. You have to kill Adolin in a duel to get it.

I wish for an angelic flying spork. (Picture a large spork with angel wings, a halo, speaks in a calming feminine voice, and acts as your personal guidance)

[DrakeMarshall]

Granted. You can have an angelic flying spork as your companion.

Your bane is that the spork is actually a type IV biochromatic entity with the command phrase "give bad ideas." Since you already wished that you would use it as personal guidance, this is bad news... The first bad idea the spork whispers in your ear is to make more wishes.

 

I wish to know the question.

 

[Brightness Enna]

Granted. The question was inane.

You now have to use Rick Astley for every profile picture on every platform you have. 

I wish for a waterbottle that never gets empty.

[DrakeMarshall]

2 hours ago, Brightness Enna said:

Granted. The question was inane.

You now have to use Rick Astley for every profile picture on every platform you have. 

I wish for a waterbottle that never gets empty.

Oh dear.

Anyways... Granted. The nightwatcher calmly points out that you said a water bottle but did not specify that it had to be full of water. She hands you an empty plastic water bottle that is completely normal in every way. Then she informs you that, because a true vacuum is about as unattainable as absolute zero, it is quite impossible for this bottle to ever be truly empty.

Your bane is that you involuntarily flinch every time somebody asks you how your day was.

 

I wish to be pleasantly surprised.

[Brightness Enna]

Pleasant surprise.

The Nightwatcher looks at you in confusion. Your wish was a strangely temporary one. She thinks it's only fair that your bane be strangely temporary as well. Your bane, sir.

I wish for a marker that can write on the air.